When you register a domain for a project and you get all the spam asking do you want designers or developers.

Recruiter: I might have the perfect role for you that will match your salary expectations, they want to send you a technical challenge using Java.
Me: Did you read my CV headline at all?
Recruiter: is Java and Javascript not the same?
Me: Thanks but no thanks.

Software engineer placement interview.

Me: if you where to technologically enhance a car for a manufacturer what tech would you use and why.

Candidate: a bath tub.

Me: 🤔

When mute notifs doesn't work 😔

When someone feels the need to use moment.js to work out if a timestamp is less than another.

Lax commas in Javascript 😭

1. "Who the fuck added that line of code?, why oh why?!??"
2. $ svn blame file
3. "Oh... It was me, carry on"

When the QA reproducible steps might as well include all or one the following:

1. Stand upside down.
2. Wait till the moon turns red.
3. Hop on one foot.

When you notice that the guy next to you is using Urban Dictionary to name public methods in modules.

git commit -m "." .

When your colleague writes code like minified JS. 😱

I can't have a 3 letter username.... Why!!! Rant over