Interviewing tip #2: If you're going to lie about what you do at your current job on your resume, remember what lies you put...

wake up - go work - code - leave work - go home - code - go sleep - repeat

Code everything!

Just for fun...

I've had this amazing piece of advice as my Desktop wallpaper ever sense it popped up on r/programmerHumor. I mean I still don't write clean code, but now I know to be prepared for the fucker!

...stackoverflow is offline...

developer relationship problems

One day I will pay for Sublime Text…

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iloveparisdogs

Job Ad says "Web Developer". Requested skills were HTML, CSS, PHP & XML. Go to interview & get grilled about my design skills. Web Developer != Web Designer people! Get it together! 🙄🙄🙄

I recently decided to look at some old questions I asked on Stackoverflow as a beginner dev. No wonder nobody answered the questions. They made no sense at all. I have no idea what I was even trying to ask. Thus is the life of a n00b d3v.

I've been slowly increasing the size of my tech manager's mouse cursor over the last month when he leaves his computer unlocked. It's about an inch tall now and he hasn't noticed yet. Everyone else in the office does and it's the best thing ever.

Story when I worked as a 1st line technician:

Customer: "Yes hello, I'm trying to install Windows as instructed, but the installer is not starting"

Me: "Ok, have you tried pressing [button] at the bootscreen?"

C: "Yes, over and over, still nothing happens"

This was actually one of my first calls, so my co-worker stepped in to help while I listened.

Co-worker: "okay, so when you rebooted the computer, press [button] and tell me what happens"

C: "....okay, I think it's starting"

Co-w: "Great! I'll just wait until it's running"

A minute goes by, installer seems to be running, but then we hear a loud BEEP. It's so loud another coworker hears it from his desk, through our headsets. A moment goes by, and it BEEPS again. Then the sound begins again, but doesn't stop. It's like an air horn at full blow. We ask the customer what he's doing, but he cannot hear us over the constant beep. We're brainstorming what it could be, when he finally says something:

"CAN.. LET.. OF.."

Co-w: "WHAT???"

"CAN I LET GO OF THE BUTTON??"

-----
I think we laughed the whole day

Developers Rant

When your team lead tells you to exactly replicate the ui which your designer has done using photoshop and the jpg output is given to the developer.

That moment when you magically lose your undo history and can't rollback the shit code you just wrote.

A few days ago, I went to a job interview where the recruiter (boss) expected me to fill a position that normally pays $30 an hour elsewhere for $10 an hour. As if that wasn't enough, he acted like he was being very generous with the $10 an hour because I'm a college kid. Smh.

I need 15 minutes to solve this bug.
... 3 hours later: I have no idea why my code doesn't work. :)

hate it when people name variables like:

test1
temp1 temp2

-_-

Trying to be helpful to noobs on Stackoverflow and got downvoted. Doesn't seem to be a particularly cheerful community.

"Java is to JavaScript as pain is to painting"

All true

I was explaining git and Github to one of my friends during our boring maths class when he asked : "What is the difference between git and Github?". Just then another friend of mine sitting in front turns out and said : "It's like the difference between porn and Pornhub".

I know that feel

Reality of those delivery dates in executive slides 🤓

I found a solid solution for clickbaiting!

You just have to:
... [read more]

I get more work done when I know I'm leaving early than when I'm in the office for a whole day....

When you work your ass off to meet the deadline and once you miraculously make it, the client decides to wait with the launch for a few more weeks.

I'm reluctant to introduce devRant to my co-workers because I'm worried they might connect the dots and realize I've been complaining about them :/

what do we say to testers? not today

Does anyone else value their bathroom breaks during the work day a little more than they should? Its like 5 minutes of peace to calm your brain. Sometimes I lapse into a mini-coma and imagine I'm on an island with a margarita