worked for two month on a automatic sms system.
today boss says: ''yeah we dont need that''
... im just gonna find the nearest tree and hang my self.

A developer walks into a bar and sees two tables. Says "can I join you?" 😂

All JavaScript developers will understand :|

I'm I the only guy who's programming skills declines after a heavy lunch?

Just wondering...

I don't see women as objects. I consider each to be in a class of her own."

Sometimes dealing with office politics is tougher than coding challenges!!

When you already have a huge deadline that's barely doable, and then your boss shows up with yet another task he forgot to ask you to do!

And of course this has to be done right this afternoon... 😵

There are two well defined programming eras, known as BG and AG.
Before Google and After Google

no comments.

That feeling when you suggest something to your senior and he refuses it and later on he is forced to do it in my way.

I F*CKING TOLD YOU B**CH!

Our site is too fast, please slow it down!

-
Said no client ever 🙄

Corporations these days...

When the client asks "I'm not sure how that works, though."

we are saints

When you want to move jobs and you have no idea where you stand in the job market...

Learning git

I always give people who have 9 +'s on a post one extra, just to give them access to the stickers

Showed devRant to my colleagues...

Least productive day at the office in weeks

Quote £400 to do someones website, and then don't do it cause you didn't quote enough.

#FirstWorldDevProblems

Just had a customer warn me he has "made" a lot of people, but also "broken" a lot of people... Okay then!

If you start working in a company that uses SVN. Just leave

Project successful? Account manager takes the credit! Project late? Developer gets blamed!

No matter how fast I code, I cannot make up for your lack of planning skills....

Every single time

<rant>
*Rules For Work*

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

</rant>

My relationship

#wife {
Position: fixed;
Right: 100%;
}

When your client tells you "it should just be like the other thing you did" and it turns out that it is completely different from the other thing you did in every possible way.

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser,
then you are brave enough to ask that girl out.

Wait... I'm an introvert, Never mind!

Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn’t Node how to Express himself.

makes app about rants, gets ranted on for no notification control