Best sorting algorithm ever.
Sleep sort.
😂

Start a billion personal projects and work on none of them...

"Hey can you make these changes?"

*does absolutely nothing*

"That's way better!"

Mhmm sure. Totally changed stuff. Yup.

HR: We have received complain that you have been sexually harassing an intern.
Me: No, I wasn’t. Me and the new intern all we talk about is Coding, Apps, and TV-Series
HR: You are lying. I have the words that you said to the intern. Do you want me to read it out.
Me: I have no clue what I said to the intern so please read it out.
HR: You said, “Always pull before you push”. Do you remember saying this?
Me: Yes, I was teaching the intern how to use GIT.
HR: Okay, let me call the intern and let see if he says the same.

** Intern **
HR: Was he sexually harassing you today at any time.
Intern: No
HR: Did he said, “Pull before you push” to you?
Intern: Yes
HR: What does that mean, sounds like a slang for something sexual.
Intern: haha, no it means that I should pull the changes made to the files before I can push the changes I did to the code from my computer.
HR: But he said something else like he was teaching you how to use GIT
Intern: Yes, that’s what GIT is.
HR: Okay both of you can go and don’t use this type of terms in the future it doesn’t make good working culture.

According to people here, ternary operators. I don't care what I'm doing, if I can use a ternary operator instead of an if, get ready for it!
I guess implicit brackets on conditionals and for loops if it's a single line. Anything that saves me typing boilerplate, but it's still readable, I'm gonna do it.

Team member knows x better than me?

No fucking way am I gonna ask them to do it. Even if I have to learn the whole damn thingamajig from scratch. Coffee and some Halo OST are all I need, baby!

(In fairness to myself, said teammate is a bit of a hijacker when it comes to helping...)

"I'll refactor this quick hack later..."

Spend way too much time crafting email responses, littered with subtle sarcasm and hints at their total incompetence with a gentle push in to what they should be focusing on, instead of sending ridiculous half baked fucking foolish requests.

When a ticket comes in I usually jump right on it, get about half way done with it, then either get stuck or it's lunchtime/end of day.

I really should take the gifs advice.

Trying to make everything a one-liner. In the process overusing ternary operators, comma operators, short circuiting and/or operators.

Until someone else needs to review or understand what I created, and I'm forced to change... 😥

Console.log("after");

Changing numbers on CSS randomly until it works.

Aka, using magic numbers

Copy and paste similar code where I have to change X values but ALWAYS mange to only change X-1 values so i get weird behaviour start debugging what in the end then takes longer than to write it new in the first place. Hate myself for that.

Deploying to production with ssh and git pull on a screen session.