What happens when a developer can't cook and forgets about centrifugal force and Murphy's Law

Wooo!!!! Real unlimited data!!!

Hm.... good point.... I never thought of it like that...

There's a 3 Lane street and 2 self driving cars are in the middle Lane but heading for each other.

What do they do so they don't crash?

What if they can't brake?

Alright Match.com... You want to make me pay to find out who viewed my profile and even to message them back?

2 can play at this game of screwing each other over!

P.S I'm uninstalling you're app!

Some business users have been chasing me all week to produce a report using some old report with some modifications.

I didn't write the old code and have no context as to what the data is.

My current reaction is:
so you want a report that says X using some vague input which you haven't clearly defined or explained to me...

Have you heard about black boxes and overfitting (i.e. reverse engineering a process based on sample data)?

TLDR: I can generate a report that will say anything you want it to say... doesn't mean it will be right in future use cases.

Why don't people (originally GBoard suggested peepee) understand "junk in = junk out"

FUCK ALL THOSE MONKEYS THAT WROTE ALL THE SHITTY CODE WHICH I'VE SPENT THE MAJORITY OF MY DAYS HAVING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE SHIT IT DOES AND WHY I CAN'T JUST BURN IT....

AND WHY THE FUCK DO BUSINESS USERS SEEM TO THINK THAT DEVELOPERS CAN UNDERSTAND ALL THEIR BUSINESS TALK...

IF I UNDERSTAND ALL OF WHAT YOU DO, YOU WILL BE OUT OF A JOB....

P.S. APPARENTLY ONE OF MY MEDS SIDE EFFECTS ARE INCREASED IRRATIBILTY. THE SLIGHTEST ANNOYANCES NOW PISS ME OFF...

SO APPARENTLY THAT MEANS I HAVE A FREE LICENSE TO BLOW UP N RANT ON THE JOB RIGHT?

... 🖕

Does anyone else think some of the Sonar rules are actually crap?

In particular the Put all you variables above methods one?

I have some static methods and variables and some object ones.

Apart from creating a new class for them which I think is over kill for just a few helper methods, don't you feel you should keep all static stuff separate?

Clean code shouldn't be about following arbitrary debatable rules, it should be preventing the horrible crap that any experienced developer would instantly call shit... If he didn't write it.

And I'm pretty sure I'm experienced so if I'm not calling a price of code shit...I don't see why Sonar should...

It's only Thursday... morning... WTF....

(my internet is so slow I delete the post I uploaded an hour ago because it looked like the image was corrupted... It was just still loading)

Q: WTF was used in __ different ways in this rant. How many and what are they?

How to know a mobile game will suck

Opens game says need to download more data... Ok

22 files needed, looks pretty fast... all's good

#22 apparently HUGE file...

**feeling doubtful...**

**It's almost there.... done!**

Downloading file 1/34

**WTF... I see what you're doing now... ok I'll wait....**

Finally done... Ok loading....

loading....

black screen, loading?

still black....

（╯－＿－）╯╧╧

ಠ︵ಠ凸

Wow so many teachers... Looks like lots of people take CS. The only CS teacher I have is myself (and books).

Best Dev experience... So far... Writing Watcher.

First app I wrote using modular design and I use it still every day.

I think this is a new record... # of "Productionized" personal apps running at once

... Or maybe it means its time for another full reboot...

Fuck... I knew I forget something in the office....

But only realized what after I got back home...

Interesting captcha... are those words random or some developer wanted to play a joke...

If y'all can give me ~30 more ++ that's be great 😀

I was really tired 2hrs ago.... but then I found some motivation.

So basically I wrote an image viewer app (also has a scraper and a downloader).

The Viewer component loads each image 1 at a time... but these are like 4MB each so there's like 5s lag...

It's now 11:30PM and I have just finished implementing a cache so it pre-loads N pictures before and after the current one.

Now moving between images is so fast and smooth...

TLDR.... girls can actually motivate you to code some amazing stuff... even when you're tired.

I clipped just the top as well... the rest is NSFW....

You think you're doing well, then you talk to someone who operates at a skill level so far above you, it makes you think why even bother.

It has been 3 days in the office without actually coding.

Let none say it wasn't a productive day.

Programmers create and solve their own problems 😂😂😂

Time spent with head in hands > time spent looking at screen

!rant

Err...
Week 64 has already passed ^^"

Jail isn't sounding so bad anymore...

Once I quit my job, I'll leave this message on the comments "Only me and God knew what this code did. Now that I'm gone, only God knows... Please increase the variable i for the number of tries. i = 999"

Clean Code opened my eyes !!

The stickers are here bitches! 🙂🙃😆
Thanks devrant.

The stickers will have to wait until I get a new laptop though.

Also I'm extremely grateful for the time you take to mail us the goodies. And on your expenses even.

Thanks :)

Getting super fed up of that one guy in the office who refuses to conform to the code style everyone else is using on the project.

I got 99 problems but, a stress ball ain't one :(

Code Written few months ago: Hello, I have a bug inside me.

Me: Do I know you?

Don't ask me to maintain code written in the past

Couldn't help my self from sharing