17
kiki
118d

It is only now that I can finally appreciate how brilliant PHP is.

When you're new to programming, you write some HTML + CSS, it looks good, but the dynamic part is missing. So, you install PHP and just… write dynamic parts right in your HTML? How crazy is that? You can even write regular code there too! Errors are logged right away, common features like DB driver and sessions are built in…

It's all about marketing. Next.js does exactly the same thing when they brag about writing SQL in React. When they do it, it's revolutionary. When PHP does it, PHP bad. Gotcha fam 🫤

Comments
  • 3
    php runs 40+% of all websites for a reason. Probably higher than that. Going by Wordpress' 40+% market share.
  • 7
    PHP definitely does not deserve the hate it gets. Shitty legacy code exists in all languages, especially visual basic and C#
  • 1
    @nosoup4u Visual Basic (legacy and new) is still a top programming language. That shit will never die! Probably good for learning though.
  • 5
    Php gets hate because it is still an ugly and half baked language that only barely gets the job done.

    Ruby, JavaScript, python, c#, or literally any other language is better by a wide margin.
  • 4
    Took you long enough! ;>

    PHP is fine. The unwashed army of jerkoffs that turboshit on useful tools whilst swallowing even greater disease carrying diarrhea, on the other hand, are a problem -- they're everywhere, and they multiply too fast for the Undecimvirate alone to hunt down and slay.

    It is for this reason that we tried recruiting young talent into the ranks of the Order, but to our absolute disgust, their minds have already been corrupted: they daily-drive jailcell-wall-aperture 11, rely entirely on bloated ass IDEs that take half an hour just to boot, and cannot read ELF object dumps no matter how hard we tried to teach; we were forced to execute them out of mercy.

    Were was I? Ah yes, gonorrhea-infected aqueous defecation. While everybody was distracted shitting on an unworthy foe, the idiocy of walruses remained unchecked, and now they cannot be stopped by any nation alone; we must unite in this battle for the future of toasters or face imminent death.

    Walruses.
  • 1
    @cuddlyogre php is a lot better these days.
  • 2
    As I mainly use Go and haven't touched PHP in a long time people are always surprised that I'm positive about PHP.
    It's far from perfect and still holds some API inconsistencies that can be traced back to the early days or POSIX equivalents. However since 5.6 it's matured a bit and with 7 you got enforced type hinting making it a very nice tool to get things done.
    You can even work with sockets without any extra lib. Workerman demonstrates that it can be bloody performant too if you know what you are doing.
    I know I can write faster PHP than my coworkers can do in JVM based stuff.
  • 0
    @lungdart I always hear that, but every moment I use PHP, I feel my life's essence being drained from my body as if a vampire is attached to my neck.
  • 2
    @lungdart Also, considering the state of it before, any improvement at all would be perceived as a major improvement.
  • 0
    @cuddlyogre it's a decent language these days. Still lots of legacy out there though.
  • 2
    @lungdart All my environments are 8.2 and this mythical "much better" has yet to materialize in any meaningful way for me

    I, begrudgingly, have to work in Wordpress semi-regularly and it takes an iron will to coerce it into doing something that a language like Ruby can do with incredible ease.

    Want to send a plain array and not an key value pair object? Hah, too bad idiot. I have to maintain a Wordpress logic path and a normal logic branch in my main application all because PHP can't send data sanely.

    Need to debug your code? Get ready for a 4 hour setup process.

    Maybe Wordpress still does it the old way. I don't know. Either way, my exposure to it has been nothing but a tremendous headache.
  • 2
    I worked with php for about 2 months and it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I’d heard a lot of horror stories and thought it was just this awful language. Turns out, it’s not that bad a language. The person who wrote the code just sucked ass.
  • 2
    Read the documentation of the library that implements the concept you want to learn in your language, instead of wasting time trying to follow some yapping loser on YouTube with their little „Pokémon name generator“. 🤮

    Got out of a video frustrated I’m still not getting how to go async, read the first page of asyncio and immediately understood it. Fuck these yappers
  • 0
    @cuddlyogre I'm gonna sound like one of *those* people, but if you switch to Laravel, you'll start loving PHP. I hated it so much, ugly syntax, etc., but now I just wanna build web apps with Laravel.
  • 1
    @dissolvedgirl I'm glad you found some peace with it, but I wouldn't trade Ruby on Rails for PHP Adjacent to Stockades for anything.
Add Comment