THERE IS A FUCKING DIFFERENCE IN BASH BETWEEN

if [ ... ]; then
...
fi

AND

if [ ... ]
then
...
fi

!!!!????????? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDING ME. NOBODY EVER TAUGHT ME THIS BULL SHIT

@b2plane you need shellcheck in your life.

https://github.com/koalaman/...

I always suspected they made bash unintuitive and inconsistent on purpose, and they made sure to use as many non-alphanumeric characters as possible so that developers can't just google the arcane language that only admins are supposed to use.