I remembered my motto

"I solve problems so you don't have to"

pretty good actually

A good motto.

can you solve my wife's problem? she's screaming all the time

@antigermanist yeah just listen to her lmao

@antigermanist I think that's just called being a woman

@jestdotty I am listening. It's just she's saying she won't put her old teabags into the trash and will keep putting it in the sink with the dirty dishes instead. Which annoys me because I'm the one doing the dish.

How hard is it to use the trash?

@antigermanist then say "oh I love you honey, you're so quirky" and suck it up

“I suffered so you don’t have to” is usually my tagline at work.

Context: I am very good at crashing face first into problems before other people have a chance to. I’m like a problem _magnet_.

And I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve broken my development environment because I’m helping someone troubleshoot their problems and go “Let me try to repro” and … “well, now it’s also MY problem, let’s fix this thing!”

@jestdotty yea i don't deserve to be screamed on. Nobody does

@antigermanist she's a screamer. enjoy the flavour. you married it!

@jestdotty i caaaaant. When she screams it puts me in dysphoria for a couple of days

Why cant we just use words. She's a writter

@antigermanist there are words. they're just flavoured by scream. I scream, you scream, for ice cream

@antigermanist Just tell her to calm down and be less emotional. I'm sure that'll work :P

@12bitfloat i mean i'm a psychologist you're laughing but i literally cannot imagine any other way :(

@antigermanist love is the answer not managing someone dispassionately lol