8
LeMeow
4y

Hi, everyone!

I was struggling to write this rant (it's been a while since I've posted anything here) and was trying to put in enough details, but it was getting too long and heavy, so I thought I should try to keep it concise.
I get frequent headaches and feel physically and mentally exhausted all the time. Here's a little list of what I think lead to all this -
- Leading a team for the first time
- Not-so-great junior teammates
- Working with backend for the first time (doing it on top of my frontend work)
- Long working hours (unpaid overtime)
- Being underpaid (for all the things I now have to do)
So, I overworked myself (and still fell short in delivering my sprint goals) and after some time, considering all of the above things, I decided that the best course of action would be to give my notice and take a break for a month or two.

I talked to my boss about my struggles and my intention to leave, and after some discussion, he basically said that the difficult part of the project was over and things would get smoother from the next sprint, and so I should stay on and discuss on the matter again after the sprint. That sprint has passed now and I have still somewhat struggled to work each day with diminishing motivation.
I'm not sure if this is the right time to leave, and I just don't have enough energy to look for another job and go for interviews. So, I guess it is a bit of risk not having something lined up before I quit my (first ever) job, but I think I shouldn't have much difficulty finding something for myself.
At this moment, I don't know what to do, but maybe, if things continue to be dour, I may hand in my notice soon.

Comments
  • 0
    Well, headaches and exhaustion even after small activities have been the way leading up to my depression. Be careful
  • 1
    @UnicornPoo Well, I did take a couple of sick days in the last few weeks, but that didn't help much. I get like 6 sick leaves total, and I don't think I would get a chunk of time off because they'd just say "deadlines are real" and what not, and being the "lead", it may cause problems for the team (all juniors) and the project in the end.
  • 2
    @Ranchonyx Yes, thanks, I fear I might be on that path to burnout/depression. I absolutely want to avoid all of that.
  • 4
    Warning bells are ringing if this is your first ever job, you're still reasonably junior and you're being asked to do all that (especially lead a team.)

    Here's the thing though - if you're leading your team and doing agile properly, *you* define your sprint goals. So it sounds like you need to massively cut down on the work you expect to complete, and start working at a sensible pace. If you still don't meet the goals, that's ok, that work moves to the next sprint and you reduce the estimate further. That's how agile works.

    If you're putting this pressure on yourself, you need to seriously think about how to ease it off. If seniors are putting it on you, then yeah, that's not normal and it's time to look elsewhere.
  • 1
    Depending on what country you're in, think twice about resigning if you're not capable of applying for a new job.

    Let them pay the bills, so to say. Visit a doctor, get something on paper for paid leave.

    Otherwise, heed Almonds advice. But tbh, sounds like a break would benefit everybody in the end
  • 1
    @AlmondSauce

    I should clarify that this is my first *full time* job, and I've been at this job for more than a year and a half now. The juniors I'm asked to lead and guide are fresh out of college.

    I don't feel 100% qualified to lead them though.

    I don't really define the sprint goals, it is defined by the manager/seniors based on client's requirements. But I do suggest and make adjustments if possible. I wouldn't put all that pressure on myself.
  • 0
    @jkommeren

    Well, it's like I need a break and get reenergized before I start applying, and interviewing and all that. I can start my preparations while I'm on break though.

    I have more than enough in savings to last me quite a while, so that's not a high priority issue. I feel like I'm not able to give my best at work because I'm burning out. So, yeah, I also think that taking a break would be best for everyone. I'm not really sure I would be able to get a chunk of paid leave, so I guess I'll have to give my notice and resign for that.
  • 1
    @LeMeow 1.5 years is nothing really. It's just about the point I'd expect people to perhaps start thinking about moving from a junior to a mid level role. It's certainly not at the point where I'd be expecting you to lead and mentor other juniors - and the fact your employer seems to expect you to is a bit worrying.
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