Fuck this completely abysmal CMS!!!!
Not even god damn Einstein would be smart enough to understand this stinky pile of legacy code!
No, it's not enough to write an HTML template in PHP with less than 500 lines of code, noooooo, every god damn template HAS TO BE AT LEAST 3000 FUCKING LINES OF CODE WITH RANDOM INCLUDES EVERYWHERE!!!
Every fucking thing I fix spawns at least 2 new bugs! I FUCKING CAN'T!!!
I swear, if I meet these fucking worms of developers... someone will eat fresh turds mixed with puke from a highway toilet!

  • 5
    I think I know that guy, he left me a similar message 😅
  • 3
    I came here to taunt a noob. I will just say "carry on my wayward son".
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    @C0D4 I swear... some people should not be allowed to write code... especially if it's PHP!
    God damn PHP allows you to write absolute garbage and it still can run...
    I think I have to write a book about this CMS. They abused the language so far, the creator of PHP should sue these devs for rape!
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    @PonySlaystation you can do anything in PhP, for better or worse. Sadly.... we know to well which way people tend to go.
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    @C0D4 Yes, though a dev can work miracles in any languages.

    Miracles that make the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse - death, destruction, famine and pestilence - cute like teletubbies.
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    3000 lines? Jesus, what are you rendering? An outline of the bible? (no pun intended)
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    Oooooh. You are a virgin.

    Let me change that (run away now, it might hurt a lot).

    PHP - like any backend language - can generate HTML / JS / CSS / ...

    At it's best there would be content separation....

    At it's worst...


    include "generate_js.php";

    - wild mixture of js and PHP and HTML -

    include "db.php";
    include "mon_foo_foo.php"

    - wild mixture of js and CSS AND PHP -
    And that's just the head of the page.

    The "body" consists of class definitions / functions / additional includes sprinkled with side effects (stateless is for losers!) and some more functions with variables that were explicitly referenced so they change their value and type seemingly randomly all across the layers of poo that the file can contain.

    Reason why refactoring is hard - you cannot even split out the includes / requires as they might be part of the code flow, there is no separation of scope between the includes and the main file.

    Joyful times.
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    @IntrusionCM is this magento? If so, yes please shoot me
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    @fullstackchris I've worked with Magento 1.x some years ago and it would be a huge blessing and much much easier than what I have to deal with at the moment... 😥
    I used to think that WorstPress was abysmal, but this CMS has redefined the scale of measurement...
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    Magento comes close to it, given it's usage of PHTML (Php Html)…

    But usually Magento tries to prevent that by having a very rigid framework - not that this is necessarily better, as it adds XML configuration and other things to bring you even more joy.

    *gently gives you a package of cooling lubricant and some dexpanthenol for the burns*
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    @IntrusionCM absolutely right and now it hurts even more... 😥
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    @PonySlaystation Yes... I can imagine.


    Time for the liquor and looting the fridge.
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    @IntrusionCM I love you (nohomo) 🤣
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    @PonySlaystation Don't worry, I'm already gay and happy with it :-P
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    It's not the software behind it, it's the developers of the cms themselves.

    If it's Magento...yes it should have been removed from the internet entirely over 10 years ago. Same with Drupal.
  • 0
    @C0D4 love php, hate cms
  • 0
    @ojt-rant It's way wayyyyyyyy worse than Magento... 😥
    I mean, the company which developped it did not want to work on it for our company anymore... that should give you a hint ⚰️
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