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The Manager kept masturbating over "low hanging fruit".

The apples on the bottom of The Product have all been picked.

The apples at the top are starting to rot.

The Manager masturbated a bit more over the low hanging fruit.

The bottom of The Product is now so slippery with Manager Cum that the brave engineers can't reach the top anymore.

Time to bring my axe to work.

Comments
  • 24
    Sounds like a Japanese poem.
  • 12
    He's a lumberjack and he's OK
    He sleeps all night and he works all day
  • 16
    Boy, that ejaculated quickly!
  • 2
    Can you ask him why only the apples at the top of the tree are rotting? Can't see the logic in that one. Frost, maybe, but it would have to be a very tall tree with gaps between each level
  • 5
    @ojt-rant I think you missed the joke
  • 3
    very long hokku🧘🏻‍♀️
  • 15
    @ojt-rant

    Managers always keep going on about "plucking low hanging fruit first".

    In other words, "low effort, high impact" tasks, like adding links between existing pages, tweaking text, etc.

    That is a valid strategy.

    But in the mean time, you should be thinking "how can we attack the harder problems? How can we migrate to Py3 & PHP8? How can we fix our overloaded message queue?"

    That's having the long term vision to ALSO bring a ladder, to reach the top of the metaphorical fruit tree.

    When Managers say "low hanging fruit first", they mean "only low hanging fruit".

    They're scared of heights.

    They're scared that addressing fundamental infrastructure issues won't immediately reflect positively upon them.

    So you'll end up with half-rotten apples falling on your head.
  • 2
    @Ranchonyx :D no I really didn't :)
  • 1
    @bittersweet perfect description. We worked around it by categorizing tickets (either by size or by chore type) and forcing at least one of each per sprint
  • 0
    Careful with that axe, Eugene.
  • 2
    To make a good apple pie you need a mix of both, sweet and sour. Pluck in verticals: 2 low hanging fruits to show progress, 1 top fruit to pay the debt - wrap in dough, bake, eat, repeat.
  • 1
    @cprn Nice analogy.

    Personally when someone argues we either should only do small tickets or only one big ticket, I argue for a mix with the analogy that it's like life - if you have a big looming health problem you gotta address it, but you also gotta make some time for small chores like doing dishes and a bit of relaxation.
  • 0
    We should change the font!

    But this feature has major flaws, we should refactor and fix this shit!

    Logic is not visible to the end user, so no, we're changing font!
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