I'm in my second call from hell today. Passed off first to a teammate to run a meeting. First one started 10 hours ago, this started 5 hours ago. Neither are related. Neither show signs of resolving.

Other teammate is on the same call that started 2 days ago.

Who the hell pissed Murphy off?

I guess I was too on the nose about 70 hours then

I don't know who pissed off murphy, So far nothing major has happened for me so I'm waiting on murphy to screw me over before long

Murphy hit my car with a bus yesterday, and erased my memory from about half an hour before the crash to about four hours after.

Could whoever pissed him off please apologize?

@AlexDeLarge I got a concussion, which explains the memory loss. Save for a few aches and pains I'm alright, I just need to take it slow.
My car, however, is totalled. The left front wheel is pretending to be on a civic, with a negativecamber of about 35°, and the body looks like, well, like a bus hit it.

@QueenMorgana... We need to find you a less stressful job.

@captnmatt2736 damn. Glad you're ok.

And Murphy is a twat.

@plttn?

Do I need to help you hide a body?

How is it even possible to have such long calls?

@projektaquarius not today, thankfully. I think we all refrained from that. Lol

@NeatNerdPrime because people are involved.

@QueenMorgana just remember. Every office is but a tinder box.

@QueenMorgana but that means those people like to be tortured with superlong dready calls. Have you considered a career as a dominatrix? You get payed for beating, bullying, insulting and hurting people instead of getting verbally abused on the phone.

Tally: call from Monday recessed. Still working offline, however. Teammate gets a break, all other teams have rotated. Teammate had a smug moment when the thing she said to do 2 days ago was revisited today and worked.
Call from asscrack of dawn today done after 12 hours. Was the shit I recommended within first hour. Notes reflect they admitted ignoring me. *smug moment*
My second call today: recessed because no customer could test. Had them agree that we wouldn't waste time on work around since if no one could test because they weren't home, issue wasn't causing downtime currently. Services likely restored offline, will have someone test in morning and *only* call my tech teams on if it's down still so they can get sleep.

Stop pissing Murphy off. My team now needs sleep. Thanks.

@QueenMorgana go to bed!

@NeatNerdPrime I'm in bed. Just catching up on things I didn't get to do today

@QueenMorgana aww yeah. Getting freaky behind the sheets. You get your eight hours of sleep and watch your shows on your DVR. That's how people get freaky between the sheets right? I have lost touch with the youth.

I hope you had some time to calm down by now!!! Otherwise I think this might help: ☕️☕️☕️

And yes Murphy is most definitely pissed off. I feel like everything is going wrong this week...

Well, that phone bill got to be expensive.

@PrivateGER thankfully my minutes are unlimited. They would have to provide a phone otherwise 😂

@projektaquarius I'd have to ask. Im unsure 😂

I set my phone down and was out

@needToRoll thank you darling. ❤☕

Update: more people broken from the same thing yesterday. 🙁

@QueenMorgana Woosah.

@projektaquarius yeah. It's broken worse. Not sure it's us though. Think external network is messing up (again) and screwing with us

@QueenMorgana breathe. Do some mindfulness exercises. Watch some ASMR videos. Deck yourself out in leather, go to an anonymous bdsm party, and whip strangers. I hear some people take up knitting but I don't understand the obsession.

@projektaquarius ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😂😂😂 that actually sounds like a good stress relief. Might just go for a run. Or eat cake.

@QueenMorgana I can get down on the cake front. I would set you up with a stranger to whip, but he's weird and lives in Florida. And if knitting isn't your thing, I have seen some awesomeness come out of crochet. Anything but running.

@projektaquarius I've tried knitting. I don't have the creativity. I'm tempted to walk to the ocean and go swim, but it's cold and I'd rather not come back to work with wet hair. 😂

@QueenMorgana swimming is the only thing worse than running (I am a terrible Floridian)

@projektaquarius that's because y'all can die by alligator attack in your water. My ocean is safer lol

@QueenMorgana you got sharks. I fail to see how ocean death is worse the fresh water death.

Also I try to avoid activities that resemble survival situations. Swimming, running, camping, foraging, etc all get a pass from this guy.

@projektaquarius hahaha!! I just enjoy the chaos of the ocean, I think. I don't even have to pretend to control it.

Plus, it freaks people out to see someone swimming in it. We don't have a warm ocean up here 😂

Update: only 1 call still going. The one from Monday. Turns out, it's their problem. So it's suspended until they fix their shit. The rest of us are merely drowning in notes and followups and submitting ECRs for the work we did to resolve it.

@QueenMorgana do you at least get the weekend off?

@projektaquarius "off". Lol. I'm secondary on call, have to grade for my second job, and go work my 3rd 😂

@QueenMorgana alright, well if I ever get off my ass and make my app be an app and I get some burning money, you can come work for me on my network/fuck bigots team. And once a week I will let you call your job for between 17 and 26 hours and pay you to waste their time. Escalate it to the manager if you can.

@projektaquarius 😂❤ awesome. Do I get to yell at people?

@QueenMorgana I'd be insulted if you didn't.

@projektaquarius wooooo!!! I currently don't have that option. I miss it. My 4th job allow waffle (leaving that autocorrect of "allows") it because it's sometimes necessary.

@QueenMorgana you are more controlled than me. To me sometimes == always. Why do you have 4 jobs? Is it because you live in California and need to move to Florida so you, me, @MissDirection, and the other Floridian DevRanters whose names are too complicated for me to remember can all move on to a ranch/compound? Not for cult or sexual reasons, mostly just so we can invent the next Tumblr and coast for the rest of our lives.

@projektaquarius I get bored. I don't handle downtime well. Likely not moving to Florida, but might be moving to the east coast within the next few years.

@QueenMorgana ah I get you. I have a friend like that. She has I believe 2 jobs and does a lot of contract stuff as an LLC.

@QueenMorgana Come to New Hampshire! We've got cookies, weather, some lakes, and no sales tax. What more could anyone need?

@captnmatt2736 true. There are no sharks or alligators in the lakes... But they might be too calm. But cookies sound nice. 😂

@QueenMorgana there could be sharks. Bull sharks have been found as far inland as lake eerie

@QueenMorgana We like to tell people there's a monster called Winni in Lake Winnipesaukee, but I'm not sure that that's real. We do have wildcats though. One ate my cat several years ago (or at least so says my father)

@projektaquarius shhhh. don't tell me that. lol

sharks don't actually scare me. alligators scare me much worse..

@captnmatt2736 poor kitty :(

We have mountain lions, bob cats, foxes and coyotes where i live. I'm always terrifies for my animals when they're not in the house.

@QueenMorgana Of that list, I'm pretty sure we only lack mountain lions. Then again, I'm not well versed in the local fauna. Either way, we have indoor cats now

@captnmatt2736 lol! I have a cat that tries to help me type. And an 80 pound "lap dog" that tries to do the same.

@captnmatt2736 @QueenMorgana that's why I'm glad my dad has a 120lb dog that was bred to hunt lions. He lives up near D.C.

@QueenMorgana My cats think they can program too, though they're not very good at it.

@projektaquarius What breed? Sounds vicious.

@captnmatt2736 my cat attacks the mouse pointer on my screen.. It's kind of adorable (only because she keeps her claws retracted)

@QueenMorgana That is very adorable. My cats just do a dance on the keyboard and stare at you with big pet me eyes until you pet them...

@captnmatt2736 Rhodesian Ridgeback. They're sweet and loyal, but also hard headed and strong. I don't think that dog would ever be vicious unless someone threatened my dad. My dad had one years ago that fell in love with my little brother, my dad went to spank him and as my dad came up to him, the dog just started growling angrily at him. My dad backed off.