This Monday, I have become a father.

It's a boy and he is awesome, in perfect health. We, as a couple could not be happier about that.

His name is Cyrus, named after Cyrus the second , the great.


However, all our happiness is overshadowed by a major blow.
My love of my life, the mother of my child, has been diagnosed with breast cancer , right before the labor.

We are in a rollercoaster right now and are torn between happiness and despair. Hard to deal with.

This is one of those things I am unable to manage with my knowledge and expertise. I can't just "configure cancer away". There is no flag that I can set as "absent" or "false".

Today we're going to hear what the strategy will be to battle this monstrosity. We're bracing ourselves for the worst.

  • 12
    Fuck cancer. And congrats!
  • 15
    My mom survived 3 breast cancers

    She had breast cancer in 2008. She healed and survived. Then it came back in 2013. She once again defeated it and survived. And then it came back again in 2019. She again defeated breast cancer but this time had to go to private doctor that costed thousands and thousands of dollars (public healthcare is free in my country but you wait for months while private healthcare costs thousands, she couldnt afford to wait so spending thousands was a better choice)

    She survived by sole reason because she reacted immediately without waiting. Thats how you have the highest chance of survival, by fighting cancer as soon as possible without waiting. Now my mom goes to routine checks every year or every 6 months just to get checked if the cancer got back. So far everything is good and shes perfectly healthy. Thank God🙏☦️

    Im telling you this so you know what to do
  • 3
    Congrats :(
  • 0
    What staging?
  • 2
    My mom also survived cancer 3 times (breast and ovarian). The treatment today is pretty good with high survival rates. My mom was not able to have kids after the treatment for the first breast cancer though.
  • 5
    Be strong
  • 3
    Congrats. My step mom had an evil tumor but it got removed completely :) stay strong
  • 2
    My condolences!! This is such a scary thing but I know people who survived it. Sending all my best wishes!
  • 2
    Breast cancer is not deadly if you manage to find out early. Just remove some or all of the affected breast. Losing breast sucks, but it's better than losing life.
  • 0
    Please tell me you're kidding.

    Jokes aside, you're typing this in English. Chances are you live in a wealthy country. This raises your wife's chances massively. Cancer is bad, but money plus western medicine is quite a hefty weapon.

    Good luck!
  • 1
    Congrats & best of luck!
  • 2
    wow and i thought my problems are bigger. more power to you man. i am sorry i don't have experience dealing with breast cancer ,so can't say anything certain,but i can understand the anxiety you might be going on with.

    I just hope you could focus on being happy about the baby a bit as that's a very good news and your wife and family might need that.

    Again, more power to you man, you can handle this.
  • 2
    You don't mention (you may not know) what stage cancer it is, if it's metastasized. You are going to go through this. Stop wasting your energy on any kind of fear. Not that you're doing it, but be careful. I don't mean flop around like the village idiot, but try to concentrate. Cancer's often harder on friends and family because the patient's responsibiity is to stay alive. Good luck and let us know how things turn out.
  • 0
    Congratulations to you and your Families on having your baby boy

    We are really sorry to hear about your Wife's Breast Cancer. Don't worry. Stay stong. Start all the treatments available for her

    Praying to Gods and Goddesses for the best and speedy recovery 🙏
  • 1
    We just returned home from hospital with a cute little baby and a devastating future...

    I'll try to answer everyone in brief

    @b2plane thanks a lot for your kind words. We are located in Belgium, in that regard hospitals and money are a non-issue. Social security ftw. We got good specialized hospitals in Brussels and Ghent for that. We trust the medical science and their expertise.

    @ostream breathing is hard when you are torn between joy and despair, but we are still breathing.

    @netikras best short reply covering it all. Thank you.

    @chonky-quiche stage 2. Her being at a "young" age of 31 makes it complicated.

    @NickyBones the battle plan looks indeed that we might have to give up on further family expansion. It's of course not definitely but chemo kills ovaries.

    @Clay200 thanks but I can't muster any strength now. I'm broken.

    @retoor yep, cutting it out. But still recovering will probably take 5 to 8 years, hope it doesn't return.
  • 0
    @TeachMeCode it is terrifying to see your love to be in total despair. The scream by Munich's is nothing compared to this.

    @daniel-wu not deadly, but puts life on hold and in some cases/aspects, stops completely. Family planning is one of such cases.

    @kiki we gladly would have loved it to be one of your lesser tasteful jokes, but no, it's real. Yeah we are "blessed" to live in a good part of the world, but it is still a condemnation to a shittier way of life.

    @fullstackcircus thank you and we are truly overjoyed with our child being with us. It's messed up, like you are a comedian clown but have to cry all the time.

    @dotenvironment thank you for the kind words, indeed we are also focusing on him. I'm setting up one of the cribs next to my desk. His battlestation computer is ready, save from a new GPU. I know he does not need that at all right now but it is something I can do to take my mind of.

    @bols59 I get you, we have a smart entourage of professionals helping us get through.
  • 1
    @asgs thank you, in the end it's medical science that has to take on this one. We are already busy doing the whole calling around for making appointments and whatnot.

    It's grueling and tiresome, all tiresome.

    But in the end, our son is with us, in perfect health and finally in his home. We are resuming our lives, just not the way we intended to.
  • 0
    @NeatNerdPrime If you see a human's body as a temple - yeah, that sucks big time.

    If you see a human's body as a tool, as a vehicle carrying us on this planet - it's no different than rust in your car. Just another thing that needs fixing. If fixing rust means removing some of the parts and you feel reluctant to throw them away - store them safely. But bear in mind that these parts might also carry rust and if you use them in another vehicle, rust can proliferate.

    I guess what I mean to say is you can freeze eggs these days (not cheap) for later use. Ofc that doesn't mean they, if used, won't transfer the cancer affinity gene to your offspring - that's a real risk.

    And, I mean, she's just got an illness. She's not dead. Don't go coffin shopping and don't drown in pity and depression.

    Do what needs to be done to patch her up to delay the sentence and _carpe diem_, especially when you've just got a new (stinky and loud) reason to!!
  • 0
    @NeatNerdPrime in april 2021 i got scammed by nft project for $2150 by 5 scammers from Belgium, we doxxed them and they live in Brussels. They ended up stealing a little over $6,500,000 usd in 2021 and they got away with it even though we doxxed their home addresses parents names real life identities etc. Ever since then i hate belgium.

    They even continued on their scamming spree opening a project after project and ripping hundreds of thousands od dollars per nft project. Sometimes millions

    My dad gave me his money thinking we're gonna be rich like the bored ape nft but we ended up losing thousands od dollars due to a Belgian scam

    What kind of fucking laws do you guys have in belgium when someone can accumulatively rob over 10 MILLION dollars in several NFT projects combined and still get away with it?!

    My dad fell in depression when we lost that money. I couldn't believe it also. It was over 215,000 in our currency, quarter of a million. It was a very big deal. And we lost it all
  • 0
    @NeatNerdPrime my advice is to get different opinions on treatment and weight the best options for your family. Surgery IMO is honestly the safest way to go tbh. Radiation + Chemo can have really fucked up long term complications and is less effective. You guys are gonna need to research a lot. Also, your gonna need to remain strong and not panic - that will just make everything worse.
  • 0
    😕 Stay strong. For your loved ones.
  • 0
    I totally missed this rant. Hope everything is developing nicely and you're managing it. Physically and mentally.

    Just adding in that my bonus mom also got breast cancer and got away with one less breast but just as much of a life in front of her. You'll get through this.
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