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Search - "ai consulting"
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I recently joined the dark side - an agile consulting company (why and how is a long story). The first client I was assigned to was an international bank. The client wanted a web portal, that was at its core, just a massive web form for their users to perform data entry.
My company pitched and won the project even though they didn't have a single developer on their bench. The entire project team (including myself) was fast tracked through interviews and hired very rapidly so that they could staff the project (a fact I found out months later).
Although I had ~8 years of systems programming experience, my entire web development experience amounted to 12 weeks (a part time web dev course) just before I got hired.
I introduce to you, my team ...
Scrum Master. 12 years experience on paper.
Rote memorised the agile manifesto and scrum textbooks. He constantly went “We should do X instead of (practical thing) Y, because X is the agile way.” Easily pressured by the client to include ridiculous (real time chat in a form filling webpage), and sometimes near impossible features (undo at the keystroke level). He would just nag at the devs until someone mumbled ‘yes' just so that he would stfu and go away.
UX Designer. 3 years experience on paper ... as business analyst.
Zero professional experience in UX. Can’t use design tools like AI / photoshop. All he has is 10 weeks of UX bootcamp and a massive chip on his shoulder. The client wanted a web form, he designed a monstrosity that included several custom components that just HAD to be put in, because UX. When we asked for clarification the reply was a usually condescending “you guys don’t understand UX, just do <insert unhandled edge case>, this is intended."
Developer - PHD in his first job.
Invents programming puzzles to solve where there are none. The user story asked for a upload file button. He implemented a queue system that made use of custom metadata to detect file extensions, file size, and other attributes, so that he could determine which file to synchronously upload first.
Developer - Bootlicker. 5 years experience on paper.
He tried to ingratiate himself with the management from day 1. He also writes code I would fire interns and fail students for. His very first PR corrupted the database. The most recent one didn’t even compile.
Developer - Millennial fratboy with a business degree. 8 years experience on paper.
His entire knowledge of programming amounted to a single data structures class he took on Coursera. Claims that’s all he needs. His PRs was a single 4000+ line files, of which 3500+ failed the linter, had numerous bugs / console warnings / compile warnings, and implemented 60% of functionality requested in the user story. Also forget about getting his attention whenever one of the pretty secretaries walked by. He would leap out of his seat and waltz off to flirt.
Developer - Brooding loner. 6 years experience on paper.
His code works. It runs, in exponential time. Simply ignores you when you attempt to ask.
Developer - Agile fullstack developer extraordinaire. 8 years experience on paper.
Insists on doing the absolute minimum required in the user story, because more would be a waste. Does not believe in thinking ahead for edge conditions because it isn’t in the story. Every single PR is a hack around existing code. Sometimes he hacks a hack that was initially hacked by him. No one understands the components he maintains.
Developer - Team lead. 10 years of programming experience on paper.
Writes spaghetti code with if/else blocks nested 6 levels deep. When asked "how does this work ?”, the answer “I don’t know the details, but hey it works!”. Assigned as the team lead as he had the most experience on paper. Tries organise technical discussions during which he speaks absolute gibberish that either make no sense, or are complete misunderstandings of how our system actually works.
The last 2 guys are actually highly regarded by my company and are several pay grades above me. The rest were hired because my company was desperate to staff the project.
There are a 3 more guys I didn’t mention. The 4 of us literally carried the project. The codebase is ugly as hell because the others merge in each others crap. We have no unit tests, and It’s near impossible to start because of the quality of the code. But this junk works, and was deployed to production. Today is it actually hailed as a success story.
All these 3 guys have quit. 2 of them quit without a job. 1 found a new and better gig.
I’m still here because I need the money. There’s a tsunami of trash code waiting to fail in production, and I’m the only one left holding the fort.
Why am I surrounded by morons?
Why are these retards paid more than me?
Why are they so proud when all they produce is trash?
How on earth are they still hired?
And yeah, FML.8 -
Crystal ball!
A timeline until the first NBE-Citizen is elected president of the USA.
2031 - BlackRock launches their new large scale financial product, the "Robotic Business Development Company" (R-BDC), in which an AI is given billions of dollars to acquire, create and manage companies, replacing their C-suite executive bodies. The "Chief Executive Robot" (CER) is supervised by a board of human industry experts hired by BlackRock.
It is important to say that the employees, middle managers, accountants, lawyers, etc in an R-BDC are all human - it's only the CEO, CFO, COO and the rest of the gang that are overgrown chatbots.
2032 - R-BDCs are mostly focused on high-bureaucracy, non specialized but people-intensive legacy industries like steel mining, food services, urban transportation and government services like water and road management.
2033 - For the first time an R-BDC company is included in the S&P 500 index. If it's CER were human and paid the same as CEOs of equivalent companies, it would have become a billionaire.
Later in the year, two more R-BDC companies are included in the index. One of them was created by Apple and the other by JP Morgan.
2035 - An R-BDC company makes headlines for convincing BlackRock to dissolve it's review board. When finally given free reign, the CER immediately slices it's dividends and vastly increases low-level employee compensation. The company share prices crater, but BlackRock stands by its decision.
Later in the year, as a recession hits the entire market really hard, that company shows solid profits and fantastic sales. It becomes the first trillion-dolar R-BDC.
2037 - Most Americans' dream-job is in an R-BDC company, says ProPublica.
2038 - Congress passes the "Non-Biological Entities Liability" (NOBEL) Act, following a high profile case of employee harassment perpetrated by the CER of an R-BDC.
The act recognizes NBEs, for all legal liability purposes, as USA citizens.
This highly controversial legislation is upheld by the supreme court, and many believe it was first introduced by lobbyists as a way for large investors in R-BDCs to avoid legal responsibility.
Several class action lawsuits are filed against CERs that are now liable for insider trading. A few SCOTUS decisions set legal precedent that determinantes what exactly constitutes the parts of the same Non-Biological Entity.
2040 - As a decade ends and another begins, 35% of all companies in the US and 52% of the entire stock market are part of a R-BDC company or another. The McKinsey consulting group now offers "expert CER customization services".
2043 - Inspired by successful experiments in Canada, Australia and South Korea, the american state of Vermont is the first to amend it's constitution to allow municipalities to have Non-Biological Entities as city and government administrators. City councils are still humans-only.
2046 - The american state of Colorado becomes the first to allow unsupervised NBEs to assume state government executive positions. Several states follow soon after. Later in the year, the federal government replaces several administrative positions with NBEs.
2049 - The state of Texas passes legislation requiring the CERs of all companies with a presence in the state to be another entirely contained/processed within the state or to be supervised by a local human representative while acting within the state. Several states, including California, Florida and Washington, are discussing similar legislation.
2051 - Congress passes the SUNBELT Act (SUbmission [of] NBEs [to] Limits [and] Taxes) that vastly increases the liability of NBEs and taxes all manifestations of such entities. Most important, it requires
CERs of hundreds of companies manifest disagreeance, most warn that it might hurt employee satisfaction and company sales. Several companies disable their CERs entirely.
2053 - Public outrage after leaked interactions of human supervisors and company CERs show that the CERs tried to avoid the previous year's mass layoffs and pay cuts, but board members pressed on, disregarding concerns. Major investigations and boycotts further complicate matters, and many human workers go on strike until the company boards are dissolved and the CERs are reinstated.
2052 - Many local elections all over the country see different NBEs as contenders - and a NBE is expected to win in most races.
2054 - The SUNBELT Act is found unconstitutional by the supreme court, and most of its provisions are repealed.
This also legitimizes the elected NBE officials.
2058 - For the first time an NBE wins a seat in Congress, but is not allowed to keep it. Runoff elections are held.
2061 - Congress votes for allowing NBEs to hold federal legislative positions, as already allowed in the least populous states.
2062 - Several NBEs win Congress seats. In Europe, there are robot legislators since the 40's.
2064 - The first NBE presidential candidate loses the race.
2072 - The first NBE president is elected.6 -
Note: I had AI rephrase this because apparently it was too full of swearing or smth to be accepted and I was getting a "there was an error posting this rant". Nice that people at devrant's can't even show a clear error of WTF is going on, not even in chrome dev tool console/network requests, so maybe you're able to figure out WTF is going on and fix your post. They must be the same kind of people I'm ranting about.
-----------End of the note.----------------
TL;DR;: My coworkers are smart idiots that learn fast but can't control themselves into turning any project into a trashcan of spaghetti code and I'm burning out and want to switch for couple years to a simpler job.
I'm considering leaving my career in programming, consulting, and project management in favor of a more straightforward, manual labor job—perhaps something like baking or another role that relies on physical effort rather than constant problem solving.
I’ve reached a point where I can no longer tolerate the challenges of my current position, especially due to the dynamics with my coworkers. I long for a day where I can work for eight hours, exhaust myself physically, and then go home without any lingering mental responsibilities or ties to complex problem solving.
Over the past decade, I’ve collaborated with many people, yet I've only had the opportunity to manage an entire project from scratch on my own twice. In those rare instances, everything ran smoothly, issues were quickly resolved, and the code remained stable for years without constant complaints from clients.
Unfortunately, my coworkers, despite their intelligence, tend to overcomplicate even simple tasks. They often fall into the trap of overengineering, chasing the latest technologies and implementing unnecessarily complex paradigms, design patterns, frameworks, and techniques—even when I’ve offered simpler, proven solutions.
For example, I’ve built robust portals that handle everything from national highway finances and warehousing to HR and inventory management for major companies. In contrast, when others attempt similar projects, the resulting code becomes overwhelmingly complex and difficult to manage.
To give a few specific examples:
Example 1: The .NET Portal
We began developing a .NET portal about two months ago, which is now nearing version 1.0. Before we even started, the team had created multiple flowcharts to split the project into components like SaaS deployment, Docker integration, obfuscation, and separate portals for user administration and backend processes. Within a few weeks, they scrutinized and debated numerous authentication technologies—even though we had successfully implemented JWT token solutions in the past. The team continually shifts focus, leaving me uncertain about the final direction.
Example 2: Over-Engineering with Patterns
In another project, the team overused inversion of control (IoC) and mediation patterns, even going so far as to have an AI generate a custom message bus. Navigating this overly decoupled code is challenging; even Visual Studio’s IntelliSense struggles to provide guidance, and the code often feels like a puzzle that changes whenever I return from a break.
Example 3: Complicated Logging Implementation
We needed to add logging functionality, and I proposed a simple solution using custom exceptions that would bubble up to a central logging mechanism. Despite its past success in saving time and reducing frustration, the team decided to implement three different logging methods—one using .NET’s ILogger, another with Serilog, and a third hybrid approach. They even suggested using a rarely seen technique involving stack traces to determine which function threw an error. This approach added unnecessary complexity and only increased my frustration.
Now, even though the project is too far along for me to withdraw, I find myself feeling burned out just a few days back at work. The code has become a tangled mess, and even routine tasks like adding logging are turning into sources of intense frustration due to constantly shifting ideas and overly complicated designs.
On top of all this, I’m also disappointed with the performance of AI tools, which seem to be producing unreliable code that requires further fixes, compounding my frustration.
I’m now seriously contemplating a complete career change—perhaps even moving to a country with a better work environment, such as Denmark or Switzerland—in the hope of finding a job where the work is more straightforward and less mentally taxing and better paying4