Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?

--- a few days later ---

Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*

When I update my linux I usually keep the terminal to full screen.
Roommates enter :
Friend1: Now what the fuck did you do? What are these lines?
Friend2: It was a good laptop.
Friend3: So ungrateful.
Me: *faceplam*

When a developer tells you it will take a week and you go ... hell no this will take me a couple hours...

So as proof you do it and realize you just did their work ...

*faceplam*

This probably isn't the coolest bug I've ever solved, but surely the one with the biggest faceplam
So I was building a Bluetooth smart watch that pairs with your Android device for the final year bachelor's project. The submission was in a 2 days and it was all ready and it suddenly stopped working.. Spent hours trying to fix it, even tried to get a replacement Bluetooth module (was out of stock -_-).. After a day's worth of freaking out I discovered that Android phones (at least the OnePlus X) don't connect to Bluetooth modules when their battery is below 15% -_- and since I was freaking out I would let the phone charge a bit and get back to debugging and it never crossed 15% so it never worked.. One day of debugging attempts later it suddenly struck me that low battery might be an issue.. And voila! It worked after charging the phone

Shouldn't such things be clearly mentioned in documentation :/

(Btw, got full for the project, got a 10/10 GPA for the semester)

We have a badly out of shape but functional product , the result of a "if its not broke don't fix it" mentality. The only thing manangement cares is our next release and making meetings to plan other meetings...

Now comes the time of the security Audit (PCI)...

Manager : oh noooo the audit will fix this issue, quickkk fix it !

Us : welllll its a lengthy process but doable, we just gotta do a,b,c,d,e . Part a is essentially what we need the rest are refactoring bits of the system to support part a since the performance would be shit otherwise

Manager: can you do part a before the audit starts ?

Us: yep.

Manager: do it . Oh and pop those other issues on JIRA so we can track em

Audit completed....

Manager: so we got through ok?

Us : 👍 yep

Manager: okayy, take those other issues..... and stick em at the bottom of the back log...

Us : huh ? *suspicious faces*..... okay but performance is gonna be poor with the system as it is cuz of part A....

Manager: yeaaahhh * troll face* ....about that.... roll it back and stick that too at the bottom of the log. We got to focus our next release. Lemme schedule a meeting for that 😊

Us : faceplam

"please sends us UDIDs of your test iOS devices"
Client sends them in in screenshots...

Doing research at my school over summer. Talk to some other researchers from other departments (chem, english, bio, etc). Tell them all about the cool work I do in robotics (I program them, not build them). One by one they proceed to ask me to make them a website/app since I know how to code. *Faceplam*

Issues with google authentication cookies. Many 3rd party applications (like mindmup etc.) have already reported. Me too so many times.

Today I'm logged in with my google account. But !!! when I try to review a business on google search result or map, they're not able to sign me in.

:faceplam:

Google doesn't like feedback or error reporting.