Vertical pressure leaf filter? More like a vertical pain in the neck! Why in the world would anyone think it's a good idea to arrange filter leaves in a vertical orientation? It's like they're begging for inefficiency! And don't even get me started on the maintenance nightmare that comes with trying to clean those things out. You practically need a ladder just to reach them!

Then there's the horizontal pressure leaf filter. Oh, joy! Because arranging those filter leaves horizontally makes all the difference, right? Wrong! It's just another headache waiting to happen. Sure, it might save a bit of space, but at what cost? I'll tell you: constant clogging, uneven flow distribution, and a whole lot of frustration.

And don't even get me started on the molten sulphur filter. Molten sulphur! Do they not realize how dangerous that stuff is? And yet, they expect us to trust some flimsy filter to keep us safe? No thank you! I'd rather take my chances swimming in a pool of lava.

Filter elements? Oh, great! Because we really needed another thing to keep track of in our already cluttered warehouses. And good luck trying to find the right one when you need it. It's like searching for a needle in a haystack, except the needle costs thousands of dollars and could potentially shut down your entire operation if you pick the wrong one.

Pulse jet candle filter? What is this, a science fiction movie? Just because it sounds fancy doesn't mean it actually works! And don't even get me started on the polishing and bag filter. If I wanted to spend all day polishing things, I'd become a shoe shiner, not an engineer!

And as for self-cleaning filters and strainers, don't even get me started! They claim to be self-cleaning, but what they really mean is that they'll clog up and break down just like every other filter out there. It's a scam, I tell you!

Oil field filtration equipment? Yeah, because nothing says "reliable" like trusting your livelihood to a piece of machinery that's constantly exposed to the elements and covered in God-knows-what.

And basket filters and strainers? They're like the ugly stepchild of the filtration world. Nobody wants to deal with them, but we're stuck with them anyway because apparently, we can't have nice things.

Process filtration and equipment? More like process frustration and equipment that's one step away from falling apart at any moment. And don't even get me started on 'Y', 'T', and conical strainers. What even are those? And why do we need so many different types? It's like they're trying to confuse us on purpose!

And finally, the auto backwash filter. Because apparently, we're too lazy to clean our own filters now. What's next? Auto-eating forks and self-driving shoes? Give me a break!

In conclusion, filtration equipment is the bane of my existence. So thanks, but no thanks, to all these so-called "innovations." I'll stick to my good old-fashioned cheesecloth, thank you very much!