My wife's phone started having power button issues. Then it broke completely with spastic random presses, causing the phone to boot loop. It's a 3 year old Nexus 5 so I was mostly concerned with backing things up, not rescuing it.

Cleaning didn't work, tapping the switch didn't work. This hack worked.

Backup complete.

I ended up taking over a dev team. I asked a dev why his code wasn’t in the repo, he said he wants to get it right first.

(Internal screaming): Repo isn’t for just done code you spastic zoomer, people need to setup build pipelines and cloud resources based on a new repo existing. You should have at least pushed a the default template project weeks ago like I asked.

So my computer is doing ok after becoming spastic over viruses. I did hardware and software cleaning. First time I did removing hardware parts but it worked it way better than expected with the static sensitive parts (I used a anti static wrist band). Congrats to myself I guess :)

Recruiter after not hearing from a company I applied two months ago: "Please accept my apology for a belated reply, I am struggling with Office 365."

Fucker - if complexity of Office caused a two month delay to answer a fucking email than you need to have your small spastic brain checked asap.
Should've just kept his mouth shut rather than to insult people by sending these kind of excuses.