@junon I don’t expect devs to have a sense of poetry; but until you understand how personal a person’s work can be to them, you’ll never be promoted beyond “lead developer”.

I may not be my code, but my code is my mind.

And that’s why criticism must always be delicate.

TL;DR:

“I hate my parents; therefore, I will punish myself.”

Better than debugging while your wife is talking to you, and she catches you.

Someone’s got a case of the Mondays!

“If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.” —Yogi Berra

[This comment has been marked for death.]

That one-eyed save icon is really excited.

Generally, no.

But there will always be a few instances in your life when you write a solution so eloquent that any alternative solution would only be a change in style and not efficiency.

You’re endothermic.

A psychotherapist would be a better desk accessory for your avatar.

What to expect from Tinder?

Herpes.

Look, you’re not going get the full user experience if you don’t install Flash. You’re only cheating yourself.

It’s a fancy name for acting.

Sounds like web dev in Korea.

No.

This isn’t Stack Overflow.

That’s because most people don’t actually have anything worth saying.

@Teabagging4Life

I think you misunderstand me.

I don’t agree with the modification of language to conform with political fashion.

This instance of idiocy is neither idiocy nor the revolution itself; it is a well-worn tactic of political operatives within a larger, social revolution.

It will never end until the revolution begins eating its own. Just ask Robespierre.

The Digital Reign of Terror is nigh.

@Vuetiful I was going to blow it all in Vegas anyways.

Founding father?

If I call you “daddy”, will you give me stock options for my birthday?

This bottle needs some serious rebranding: It looks looks like Sigmund Freud grew out his beard and started dating Barbara Streisand.

@azous Right. Your problem is your government and not some flammable, inanimate object.

I’m still trying to figure out C octothorp.

You might run out of water, but you’re most concerned about petroleum?

Your country’s dependence upon oil is not your problem. Your government is your problem.

“Hey, boss! Kevin is an idiot. Fix it. Kthxbai.”

It takes about an hour for me to get to serious work in the morning. Fortunately, my company fills that time with meetings!

Don’t beat yourself up over it.

...Here! Have some extra semicolons for when you forget those, too.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

@VTCoder A rising ++ count raises all ++ counts! Welcome all the things!!

(Or something like that. I just totally invented redistributive incrementation.)

Follow up:

I did NOT get a raise.