Pulling reports that never get used for anything.

Even when something does go wrong, that means going and pulling fresh data instead of referencing the reports on seemingly niche stuff to get sent off to exec who are 100% in too many pointless meetings to ever read the damn things

I think one point that people often forget is that bootcamps are more of a learning accelerator than a one-stop shop, and the few reputable camps around do quite a good job.

Client: Hi. my SEO guy messed up the website. Its kind of .... you know .... gone. You must have the backup. Please restore

Me (after 10 mins): Done

.............

Client: Hi again. I don't see my changes from yesterday. Why?

Me: Because I had 2 months old backup.

Client: Why?

Me: Because that's the last time I worked on your website. And you changed the credentials later on.

Client: But you're a programmer. You must have had a back door to take back ups.

........

Client: Hello?

Me: It's time to leave earth.

So glad you are here guys :')

Now this is not funny at all😂😂

Aw hecks yeah!

Oops!!!

6:00 pm, no spirit to code,
11:00 pm, no spirit to code,
0:00 am, i might sleep in early tonight,
1:00 am, just one function,
2:00 am, I'm A God.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

My exception handling be like:

Someone asks for help as to why their website isn't working, you find the problem and tell them, then they're like "no that can't be the problem". So you fix the problem and they ask "what did you do?"

Client: I've this issue.......
Me: Clear browser cache.
Client: I've that issue.....
Me: Clear browser cache.

____________

Client: My site says "Your hosting account is suspended". I cleared browser cache. Nothing works.
Me: clear YOUR brain cache

Woo, my first rant have >10 +1's. Gonna get me some free stickers in the mail!

That awkward moment when your family and friends sit behind you and ask questions;

What is this you're typing on the screen?

Why words have different colors?

Why so many tabs?

How do you type so fast?

....... and more

Share yours.

There was an atmosphere of elation and joy here at Google, when we got together to author our reply to the latest lawsuit from Oracle.

I have completely given up explaining to my friends and family what I do for a living.

Put my two weeks in because I'm moving to a different state. Now my boss has made an 180 change in his attitude towards me, awesome this will be a fun couple of weeks....

Anybody else considered the mass amounts of stress the devRant devs went through, knowing for a lot of their users, it's our jobs to create these types of applications and so they're gonna be judged?

But on the bright side, it turned out amazingly.

Q: can you do this awsome project?
A: of course, i would love to develop this shit.
Q: ok, then lets get started. btw please do this in wordpress.
A: bye

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning"

Was hiring a front-end dev once. Job ad was for basic html/css and graphic design skills. Perfect part-time job for intern or high school kid to get their feet wet. Boss sits in on interview and after I asked all the necessary questions related to position, boss starts asking him programming related questions similar to my position. (php, Mysql, apis, managing vps, custom shopping cart code )

Way to drop a bomb on a kid who is potentially interested in working here.

That awkward moment when you tell your friends a programming joke and realize instantly that none of them is a programmer.

Guys guys...look

So here's mine!

It's a github for the more artistic; a place for designers, photographers, and stylists to post their work. You can choose to make your work interactive, so others can comment, or you can simply present your work. A professional option is given to present your work in a professional, clean manner with a short URl to attach to a CV or such.
Users choose whether to release their work under Creative Commons, or which attributes they wish, so students can use them in their research.
It also serves as a community and a place to collaborate.

who else does this often!? 🤓

my current workspace

What is Internet Explorer?

It is a tool to download a better browser.

one thought of giving options of saving images posted by other ranters would help ;)

Meanwhile at a presentation.

Me: This is the new feature that I've been working on.

App: "There was an error loading the application!"

Me: (shrieks in horror!)

When a project is breaking your heart