Wellcome by Ur sins

:))))))

Took a leave from office citing valentine's day and now I am sitting at home working on my personal project.

Yaaaayyyyy....

*talking to a customer on the phone*
*tries to switch to the next virtual desktop for a terminal*

*BAM BLACK SCREEN*

😶😐😓

*wild Linux mint logo appears*
*computer reboots*

*realize that I pressed ctrl+alt+delete*

😅🤣

*explains honestly to colleagues and client*

Both found it funny and laughed, luckily 😆

My coworker left his Windows 10 system unlocked today.

Me:

1. Print screen on desktop
2. Saves the image
3. Sets image as wallpaper
4. Hides desktop icons
5. Changes taskbar alignment to the right and enables auto hide.
6. 🤣🤣🤣

No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

How cute *_*

When you don't have money to pay a designer so you decide to do it by yourself.

It's my first try...

Was in the barbers having my hair cut and the barber was talking about how hard drives are obsolete as everything is moving into the cloud! Blew his mind when I explained the cloud is just computers and hard drives!

*code doesn't work*

-Run three times, just to be sure
-Its NOT the code, must be the project. Full rebuild.
-Run a few more times after rebuild didn't fix it.
-Google the issue.
-Stackoverflow must be wrong. The code is JUST like their solution.
-Run a few more times, but with your lucky underpants
-Reboot. Must be an operating system thing.
-Tea break. Give the issue time and it will fix itself.
-Run a few more times. Still unfixed
-Contact customer support.
-Walmart said they can't help.
-Consider writing your own language without this OBVIOUS flaw
-Kickstarter for c++++
-Raise $50,000
-Start a family
-Contact customer support again
-Run a few more times
-Now banned from Walmart
-Oh shit, missing a semicolon

Everyone loves a bit of banter

(No comment)

Went to visit a friend and I saw this. Here I am half hour later still crying.

I got it, everything was better in the past! 😂😂😂

My senior dev, shortens “analytics” into “anal” variables. Iam literally dying while Reading through the code!

We've password protected a file and forgot the password we need it cracking asap.

Sorry we can't crack passwords on files.

If we don't get access to the file it'll cost the company up to 250k.

Well you should've thought about that before encrypting the fucking file with 256 bit encryption.

When you say "almost 2" instead of 1.7 because you're not sure your customers understand the decimal system.

So, I'm a Portuguese dude. I have my OS's in English language and Portuguese keyboard. Today, I spent 30 min raging at my computer because I couldn't login. I tried like all my 865725428 passwords (fake number, in case u don't get it) and still couldn't access it. Then I fucking looked and remembered Windows is an asshole and changed my keyboard input to English, so all my symbols were changed. Fuck you Windows, Linux never did this to me. Y the fuck would u? Do u like to fucking make me waste my precious time? Go and fuck yourself with a 35'' CAT-5E cable you prick.

Lol....this was only save her......

*scroll of truth*

One month until I travel to China again.
Things left to pack: VPN

Battlefront II fans made EA change vader unlocking at ease. Reddit have its most negative/downvoted comment by eaofficial plus I don't have a PS4.

- What is exactly your job
-- I am a developer
- So, what does it mean exactly?
-- I create software, applications like those you use on your phone and PC
- So you can create phones and PCs?
-- No it is not that :|
- Can you fix my Laptop?
-- here we go

Non graphical management sim game [more details]

findDev - Tinder for finding your developer partners. [more details]

Nothing’s better than late night coding (I took it yesterday and forgot to upload)

Kim Kardashian

If you happy and you know it, old but gold :D

My parents think that I type on my laptop what I have been taught at university and that makes me a programmer. Lol.

When you look at the old projects you abandoned on github