Just read about the leap second being added at the exact moment of going in to New Year (31/12/16 23:59:60!!!!!). I can't be the only one thinking what the fucking fuck are they thinking and why am i hearing about this for the first time 24 hours before it's happening.

Was office SharePoint bitch at one point. This guy wanted me to build a workflow for him that would enforce insane checks on his (peer) colleagues. Asked if his manager approved and obviously they hadn't. So this guy started telling me he would build his own application from scratch and host it on his home server if I didn't help him. Pointing out the business might object to their confidential data being put on his home server didn't put him off. Getting laid off a few months later for gross incompetence did however.

I am so fucking fed up with being brought into a meeting because you "understand the technology" and then no fucker actually listens when you say that their idea won't work because the tech isn't magic.

Our time recording software (based on SAP) triggers a blocking synchronous web service call every single time you do *anything*. Imagine having to wait 10 seconds every time you:
- put a number in a cell
- select a row
- press anything on the screen

Oh and when you lose connection nothing is saved and you have to start again (wtf was it even sending to the server)

IBM Notes. Ultimate example of developers each working on their own bits of functionality with zero thought to how the whole thing fits together. Just need to look at the preferences page see what a mess it is.

Sounds about right

Quick and dirty job to get some data into a DB wasted my entire evening.

Created table with few columns, tried writing to it from NodeJS app and it kept complaining I wasn't providing values for columns that didn't even exist. After ages pissing about decided that the DB gods had cursed this particular table so created a second one with same DDL. Now it worked first fucking time. Then it finally dawned on me, I'd managed to pick a reserved table name and the RDBMS didn't think to give me a warning when I created it. Not only did it not warn me but it kept going as it nothing was the matter and didn't report the extra columns on a SELECT *.

Don't be afraid that pair programming will show up your inexperience, embrace it as the quickest way to build that experience!

logger.info(String.Format(" User {0} changed their password from {1} to {2}", username, oldPassword, newPassword))

Production system. Plaintext log.

IoT device endpoint: public fixed IP, raw TCP socket, no auth at all

Happily agree to help colleague with 'a quick problem' on their pet project. Realise a few seconds in that they can't actually see a difference between JS and JSON.

Password complexity checker for big car rental company is set to insane mode
☑️ 30 char
☑️ symbols
☑️ numbers
☑️ upper & lower
❎ still 'too weak'