What the actual fuck apple?
The SSD is soldiered on the new macbook "pro"?
Drives fail you know, and that thing costs an arm and a leg and even a fuckin liver or two.

Always take the challenge.

Didn't know front end - took tasks that were front end oriented, took me longer but I learned.

Didn't know what goes on in the legacy code - took the tasks and dived right in the filth.

Fear the day the challenges will be over.

Client not paying?

Instead of reducing opacity, add FartScroll until they pay!

Theonion.github.io/fartscroll.js

"Don't be the smartest person in the room. If you are, you're in the wrong room."

This piece of advice really holds true and continues to push me into fulfilling and challenging positions in my career.

Fake windows update + f11 = colleague complains all day!

Being a total beginner to web developmentz I just started working on my personal website. A simple static HTML/CSS page. And the fucking Google font wasn't working on Chrome. I worked perfectly on Firefox and even Microsoft Edge for fucks sake. Spent a good part of two hours trying to figure out what was wrong. Tried all sorts of shit suggested in a ton of SO pages and some of my own noob css tricks. Fuckin none of it worked! And then, just when I was about to Alt+F4 my way out of all that crap, I realized the page worked fine in incognito mode.
Turns out it was a fucking Chrome extension I was using for spell checking which was interfering with the fonts. Like what the fuck.

Which one is you?

History repeating itself.

- Sir, you must put away your laptop before the flight takes off.
- Is a tablet okay?
- Yes
- *Uncouples keyboard from Surface*
- ಠ_ಠ
- (⌐■_■)

When designing an UI, remember to always assume that the user is an idiot.

Lenovo had it first xD

This is more on work and life balance.

1. Don't do hard work, but do 'Smart work', else you will end up burn yourself 100%.

2. Don't think your manager is your guardian angel, even though it seems like sometimes. He has his own goals to achieve.

3. Spend considerable time daily in and out of office/work, for your own development/improvement.

4. Learn new languages and technologies.

5. Stop making things perfect, 'good' is enough.

and it goes on ............

Going through a WordPress site that hasn't been updated in over a year. It's so severely infected that even the Wordfence and Security plugins say it's fine. So I'm going through the file structure manually.

File by file, folder by folder manually searching for infected files. This is the most tedious thing I've had to do. But I'm learning some really interesting tips. One file looked empty and I almost missed it because the code had been tabbed over a few hundred times clearing it way off the the right of the screen.

Lately, Namecheap has been forcing their users to change passwords once every six months. Otherwise, they bombard you with annoying popups. When I finally changed mine, this is how they did it on their end. I just can't deal with the irony of this whole situation...

Microsoft is finally more innovative than Apple, right?

!Rant
Just told a colleague that I don't own a PC, laptop or tablet for home use. Look on his face was priceless, like he couldn't fathom how I live with nothing more than a low end Android phone. I would have taken a picture but the camera app takes like two minutes to load and shoot.

I18n is short for internationalization because there is 18 letters between I and the last n. I love the laziness of developers.

That time when your table start looking like a Toblerone..

And then crash crash.. crash...crash

The 256th day of every year is celebrated as Programmers’ Day.
Interestingly, 256 is the highest power of two that is less than 365.
It falls on September 13 during common years and September 12 in leap years.
This day is an international professional day recognized in many companies and organizations.
It’s even officially recognized in Russia as the “Day of the Programmer.”

When you go out for an interview and your current boss shows up

familiar?

Websites that brag about how much coffee they drunk and share zany facts about their employees. "Sarah is a scorpio and enjoys the smell of wet grass."

Am I the only one who doesn't give a flying fuck?

So the story start like this, 6 months ago i left my job in a big company for an oportunitiy to work on a new one without all the bureocracy and shit and with better benefits , the first months were wonderful we were using a nice stack of technologies and the team that was assembled was a nice one with smart and hard working people with a few exceptions, but overall very good. One day out of the blue the manager started to presure us to release a project that was on time and wanted us to make extra hours and work on saturdays, sadly we blindly did because we cared for what we were creating, fast forwarding to yesterday, the whole team was called to a meeting and our contracts were terminated without previous advice because the company could not afford to pay us for more time and blahblahblah..., soo here i'm feeling used and sad but with renowed feelings about starting my own business!!

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook

Developer (master's degree, -bleeping- smart guy, no kidding) was bragging on how he made a piece of code 3x faster (with the usual pinch that the original dev was incompetent) and spent nearly 6 weeks working on it (wrote his own parallel-foreach library because Microsoft's parallel library was "too slow").
I was the original dev and he didn't know I had my own performance counters where I broke down each stack (database access, network I/O, and the code logic).
Average time was around 5ms (yes milliseconds) and worst case was around 10 seconds. His '3x improvement' was based on the worst test case, which improved by about a second. Showed our boss my graph (laughed out loud, said 'WTF', other curse words) and the dev hasn't spoken to me in weeks (I say 'hi' in the hall and he keeps walking)
Take that master's degree and high IQ and shove it.

6 chars

That moment when you realise that stack overflow can't help you...

I got myself a new monitor, 2560x1080 (21:9). LG 25UM58-P on sale at NewEgg and NCIX, I paid $200CAD.

Client asks us to make app which depends on their API.

Client makes changes to their API without telling us.

"Hey why is the app broken?"

... really?

Manager: I need estimates for your sprint tasks

Me: I've never done any of this before, my estimates have no context and are effectively worthless

Manager: don't worry it's just for the Jira board.

Me: OK *gives estimates*

End of sprint comes...

Manager: Why isn't task X done?

Me: *sigh*

I don't miss my old job :)