!😓😓!

Was interviewed some 15 years ago while quite fresh out of university. Huge panel of people hammering away with questions so after an afternoon in the room all my fried brain could come up with when they asked if I had any other interest was "...trees..." :)

I guess every faced this at the start.

so true!!

marriage programmed!

HTML + CSS

I've just about finished 100% of the scoped features of a quick little app. The client is demanding that I add more features at his whim before he'll pay me anything. Mind you, this is a small project, and I have a day job that pays me loads more than he's paying me. Oh, and the client has no control over the github repo or any of the deployed environments.

If you've never experienced this you're too young

When the PM knows their shit and rejects the clients request for Wordpress and says the site is not a freakin blog.

The bug made it through unnoticed. sh1t storm wednesdays. FML

So, in my spare time I run a little helper business that teaches children/teenagers how to program.

Theres a new kid that's been coming for around about a month, and I swear the kid is a programming deity.
He picked programming and more importantly developing remarkably quickly.
Long story short, I paid for him to go to a Hackathon in LA and he now has more business contacts than me.

When you're stuck on a bug for days and junior dev fix it in minutes behind your back.

When your delivery manager is the stupidest fuckin manager ever born :/

"If you have android code ready then why can't you create iPhone build unh - since A=B, B=C so 'C' SHOULD EQUAL TO 'A' right - so use android code and create iPhone build TOMORROW - don't change the code just create a build in 2 hours and then work on xyz project for other 6 hours since its in HIGH priority"

WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK..
MY DICK = YOUR FACE MOTHERFUCKER :///

Working with a bad designer:
Designer: Here is the new layout
You externally: Proceed to politely explain why this design breaks logic and eliminates crucial flows etc.

You internally:

I almost rage quit today bc I'm maintaining someone else's unreadable code

Friday Eve: Closing eclipse project happily at work. Everything works sorta fine.

Monday morning: Opening eclipse project again. Everything is like i left it. "Main class could not be found."

What the fuck eclipse?

Starvation!!!!

So any other day I wouldn't be that broken up over missing a day of work over a delayed and subesquently cancelled.. Except when that day of work means that I get to attend the WWDC keynote in person! F U American Airlines!

A programmer comes home from work. The spouse says, "Could you run to the store for me? Buy a gallon of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen". He goes to the store and comes back with 13 gallons of milk.

buyMilk()
if (eggs) {
for (var i = 0; i < 12; i++) {
buyMilk()
}
}

The programmer got stuck in the shower because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said:
"lather, rinse, repeat."

Sometimes I go ridiculously hardball on my comments in order to gain a better understanding of what I'm trying to accomplish

I like it when a boss is a Dev (or a former Dev). Makes them a bit more sympathetic towards us i think :)

Maintaining frontend IE compatibility...

never interrupt a programmer

Reality of those delivery dates in executive slides 🤓

fixing bugs all week, when you think you're finally done and you break the build...

Nuff said.

!rant

As much as we love to complain about our PMs and coworkers, I feel blessed to be in a field where after working all day, I enjoy what I do so much I come home and work on my own projects. Who's with me?

Stuck on a problem for 2 hours, walk away for a coffee, return to fix it in 2 mins.

Should take breaks every 5 mins to maximize productivity.

<tits>