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Took a leave from office citing valentine's day and now I am sitting at home working on my personal project.
Yaaaayyyyy....
10 -
Now I want to create some kind of game, a bit like "hacknet" (check it out on steam, really cool), but the one who answers you is your own OS
5 -
- "Have you ever used breakpoints?"
- "Umm.."
- "You ever saw a breakpoint?"
- "You mean like... "break;"?"
...15 -
Back in the days when I started to learn c I had an assignment to print all the prime numbers between 1 to 100 but didn't know how (with if/for/while)
So I searched Google for "prime numbers from 1 to 100" and used printf to print them on the screen
I got an A+7 -
"It is just a small task. I can do that in just..." Never ever ever say the above statement even if you are 10000% confident.5
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!rant
New job (first CS job).
Day 1: Install Ubuntu
Day 2: Dev said "it was so cute when he asked if he could uninstall windows." Also, first pair programming with engineer of 12 years. First commit (he did all the work, I just tried keeping up."
Day 3: "Here, try this bug " nearly get there. Have to leave early. Team event (Group VR experience, was wicked fun with drinks afterwards. Turns out boss man is a total bad ass. Swam with sharks and giant Wales)
Day 4: Fix bug. Notice odd behaviour. Fix that too. (All on my own). Code review: "This, that but works and is good." Get asked if I want to go to customer to do A, B and C. Tell Boss I only know B. He said "Tell me what you need for A and C."
I'm so God damn happy.8 -
Every teacher of every course ever:
"This will be the hardest course you've ever done"
"This will be the most fun course you've ever done"
"You will need to put in 40hrs to even get a sufficient mark"
hah! don't make me laugh!6 -
I have the best gf in the world.
She tries to understand what I spend so many hours working on, even though she has little interest in it. She is seriously patient with me and lets me do my thing just because she knows it makes me happy.6 -
HP printer: *starts acting on its own*
*pulls plug*
NOW WHO FUCKING OWNS YOU, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!! WHO PAID COLD HARD FUCKING MONEY FOR YOU HUH, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!!!!
Don't you ever dare to do anything again, unless I fucking tell you to, fucking worthless piece of shit, that can't even do its printer jobs properly!!! WORTHLESS FUCKING PIECE OF JUNK!!!
Guess I'll leave it unplugged until I have a new print job for it at this point. Geez, can't even trust my fucking printer to do what it's supposed to anymore!!! Long live the world in Big Brother. Lest we forget that there exists such a thing as fucking ownership!!!14 -
So yesterday my girlfriend and me wanted to clean the apartment.
We ended up coding on a private project all day long... but at least we put //FIXME notes all over our place.
Let's see how today goes. ^^ -
I was building a personal website and my friend oversaw it. He said “that looks cool, can I help?” I agreed, why couldn’t he help? Ten minutes in I asked him if he liked our 404 page. He said “what’s the link to the 404 page?” 🤦♂️ He’s not on the team no more.3
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Never, ever, ever, release on a Friday. But.....
if you do.
Add this step as part of your production push process.
2 -
Don't ever ever forget to push before leaving office.
I repeat : Don't ever ever forget to push!
Sends app to client.
At home and decides to check if the changes actually worked just to realize it crashes because i forgot to comment out my dummy test data.
*On a bus back to the office at midnight*5 -
Sitting in the room with the hiring manager and the previous employee:
Manager: "Do you know your stuff?"
Me: "Yes"
Manager: "Do you know your stuff as well as him? (pointing at previous employee)"
Me: "I taught him."
Manager: "Okay, when can you start?"7 -
I joined a "multi-national" company in middle-east where 90% of the developers are Indian. And since it's a "multi-national" company with 50+ developers I thought they already figured it out. Most of them have 5-10 years of experience. They should know at least how to use git properly, deployment should be done via CI/CD. database changes should be run via migration script. Agile methodology, Code Review - Pull Request. Unit testing. Design Patterns, Clean Code Principle. etc etc
I thought I'm gonna learn new things here. I have never been so wrong in all my life...
Technical Manager doesn't even know what Pull Request is. They started developing the software 4 years ago but used Yii v1 instead which was released almost a decade ago. They combined it with a VueJS where in some files contains around 4000 lines of code. Some PHP functions contain 500+ of code. No proper indentions as well. The web console is bloody red with javascript errors. In short, it's the worst code I've seen so far.
No wonder why they keep receiving complaints from their 30+ clients.10 -
Hello fellow developers! What was your first program? What language and editor did you use?
Mine a calculator in VB.net😍😂46 -
So today was the worst day of my whole (just started) career.
We have a huge client like 700k users. Two weeks ago we migrated all their services to our aws infrastructure. I basically did most of the work because I'm the most skilled in it (not sure anymore).
Today I discovered:
- Mail cron was configured the wrong way so 3000 emails where waiting to be sent.
- The elastic search service wasn't yet whitelisted so didn't work for two weeks.
- The cron which syncs data between production db en testing db only partly worked.
Just fucking end me. Makes me wonder what other things are broken. I still have a lot to learn... And I might have fucked their trust in me for a bit.13 -
Thanks to the jenkins creator for having the "delete project" button in the middle of "build now" and "configure" button.5
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That feeling when someone sees your rant, upvotes it and then checks out and upvotes other rants of yours.6
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This was the first website created by Tim Berners-Lee at CERN in 1991.
Still available:
http://info.cern.ch/hypertext/WWW/...
3 -
Windows 10 is a fucking piece of shit. It's the worst software ever made. It's the worst program ever written in the entire computer history.
27 -
I'll never ever understand how my boss always ends up doing this kind of bullshit
This is production code, there won't ever be anything in there, NEVER
9 -
When your brain comes up with "You can refactor this later,too!" Slap yourself in the face as hard as you can1
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If you ever get an idea for an OpenCV project: shoot yourself in the foot, drink some bleach, do whatever it takes to get it out of your head, because it will all be less painful than the python docs for cv2.3
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Some people should get their heads out of their asses to actually see that their fucking bad mood wont lighten up by randomly throwing insults around and generally being a dick.4
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I was unemployed and had to sent out 10 or so job applications per month to e eligible to receive the money substitution for unemployment...
Anyways, not many jobs fit my experience, so I was sending out to those with higher/different requirements aswel.. That day I was meeting my sister and she was already waiting for me, so I quickly sent out a totally unpersonalised application for a job I wasn't qualified for. Next day I got back response email with a self grading questionaire I didn't really understood, all about MS technologies I never worked with..which means I didn't know how to grade myself..I decided to ask around people to try to help me grade myself, but then I totally forgot about that in the next days and never replied to that email.
Anyways, week later I got email for job interview from a sister company (found that out later, snooping through linkedin). I was surprised someone requested a meeting with me, especially without the agenda (at that time I was not aware it was a job interview).. Anyways I went there, found out the guy interviewing me thought they lost my questionaire. I explined the situation and he just decided to ask me around to see what I know. So we talked about my past experience and the guy who was doing the interview explained what is what & and explained what I did before and together we figured out what I know and what my experiences are... After we were done, he said that everything else, the payment and other stuff about the job position I should discuss with the director. Not to ask questions, but negotiate.. O.o And just like that I got the job, because they liked my CV & attitude (I like to learn new stuff) and they thought I'd fit in perfectly.
I'm still working there, it's been 4 years now, I think.. loved it since the day one.. Got 'promoted' to another project, crappy old code noone wants/dares to touch but I love it! The guys think I am weird cuz I like to solve/fix things and make them better, and previous employees who worked on that project have all lost their shit and quit. They are all wondering how I can handle this, but little do they know about devrant & my love for the crazy!!2 -
I fucking give up, AWS is retarded. It's the worst piece of shit retarded fucking platform ever created and every fucking engineer that touched the code should have their fingers chopped off, shoved down their throats and then be beheaded.
I can't believe that this retarded shit is the "industry standard" for deploying anything ever. Every fucking page feels and uses as if it was fucking outsourced to a different part of india everytime. The fucking pagination behaves differently in every fucking service. Half of the new services just gave up and run on their own fucking thing, because presumably their own platform just couldn't even handle it anymore and fucking CloudFormation is the fucking kingpin of this entire retarded platform. Slapping and unslapping shit together unttil it fucking get's stuck in an unresolvable state because half the fucking services need 58 unrelated permissions to perform a simple delete.
Fuck AWS, Fuck Amazon, Fuck Bezos, Fuck the Cloud and Fuck this whole "Serverless" scam. I really truly wish everyone that had anything to do with making AWS a reality just drop dead on the spot right now so that we can forget that aws ever happened.10 -
Me a month ago: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
*Recruiter finds me and offers me a full-time opportunity*
Me now: "Well, I guess I can look into it..."
Me 9 months from now: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
Repeat until dead.2 -
Because I work with computers all day, my friend automatically thinks that I know what every file type does, how to hack everything and fix every computer related issues...
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Ever encrypt files on a USB drive before?
Ever do that then forget the password you used for the encryption?
Yep... 😭11 -
That feeling of betrayal when you finally find a proper, well written and well formatted article/tutorial about a framework (or anything you are learning), only to find out it is "Part 1" and no other parts were ever written...
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Regus sent me to collections.
Jist: if you ever think about renting an office from Regus, for the love of your bank account and your credit, just don't. Go into the kitchen and pan-fry your face instead. it'll be better.
Moral: get it in writing. What is "it"? Fucking everything.
------
I needed someplace quiet away from my children to work, so I rented an office from Regus. They said they had a minimum 6-month contract, which is fine, but at the time I was pretty sure I would be moving within three to five. They said they understood and offered the quivalent of a month-to-month plan: I could cancel my contract whenever I wanted, given a few weeks' notice, and that would be that. It wasn't in writing, but both the accounts person and the regional manager were there offering it to me, and they seemed cool. Awesome! I agreed, signed the contract, and paid a hefty damage deposit.
Long story short, I ended up hating the office, and chose to bear the distractions at home instead. Seeing how much I disliked it, the accounts person I talked to originally called me and offered to cancel my contract. I agreed, and she walked me through the steps to cancel it and request my deposit back. Done. I aske her if that was it; no more payments, no more contract. "No more," she said. "You're done." I liked the sound of that. Done and done.
The next day, I check my bank account; no deposit.
Two weeks later, still no deposit.
A month later, still no deposit.
They did say it could take up to three fucking months or something, so whatever. I waited.
Another month later, and instead of my refunded deposit, I get an overdue invoice notice? Seriously?
Apparently they never cancelled my contract, don't remember offering me the month-to-month agreement, nor does the very chick I talked to remember telling me over the phone that everything was paid up and done. Apparently my contract wasn't even for six months like they originally promised, but indefinite? despite all of this? and despite the two of us fucking cancelling it? together?
But no, the legal agreement is binding and explicitly states that they are fucking assholes and due their pound of cash.
So fuck that and fuck them.
And in response, they sent me to collections.
Huge fucking surprise.
and now collections is calling me saying I owe $1900, which works out to a lot more than the couple months it's been since I cancelled that crap, AND.
AND IT'S LESS THAN THE FUCKING DEPOSIT REGUS NEVER RETURNED!
SO NOT ONLY DID THEY NEVER CANCEL MY CONTRACT, THEY CHANGED ITS TERMS (or lied up-front) AND DECIDED TO POCKET THE DEPOSIT INSTEAD OF APPLY IT TO MY FUCKING IMAGINARY BALANCE!
FUCK YOU SHADY MOTHERFUCKERS!10 -
Kill who ever let's a robot program anything. Because what ever boundaries you place on it does not stop it from recreating it's self without them.
Who ever makes an AI that can program is putting humanity on the thin edge between utopia and dystopia3 -
An Apple Watch on a girl's wrist.
A smartwatch is a computerized wristwatch with functionality that goes beyond timekeeping. While early models can perform basic tasks, such as calculations, translations, and game-playing, 2010s smartwatches are effectively wearable computers.
3 -
A project I've been a part of for two years finally exited beta this morning! It was so exciting watching it grow and and change into what it is today. The project in question is Storj.io. A decentralized cloud storage. When I first joined the project, literally all it did was create junk files to take up space. Now it is a thriving network storinf over a petabyte of data without the possibility of it ever going offline.8
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TL;DR Dear boss, firstly, you always get someone to review anything important done by a fucking intern.
Secondly, you do not give access to your fucking client's production server to an intern.
Thirdly, you don't ask your fucking intern to test the intern's work that has not been reviewed by anyone directly on your client's fucking production server.
Last week, the boss and one of the lead devs (the only guy with some serious knowledge about systems and networking) decided to give me (an intern who barely has any work experience) the task of fixing or finding an alternate solution to allowing their support team access to their client machines. Currently they used a reverse SSH tunnel and an intermediary VH but for some reason, that was very unreliable in terms of availability. I suggested using OpenVPN and explained how it would work. Seemed to be a far better idea and they accepted. After several days of working through documentations and guides and everything, I figured out how OpenVPN works and managed to deploy a TEST server and successfully test remote access using two VMs. On seeing my tests, the boss told me that he wanted to test it on the client network. I agreed. Today he comes to me and he tells me to prepare testing for tomorrow and that the client technician is going to give me access to one of their boxes. And then he adds, "It's a working prod server. We'll see if we can make it work on that" and left. I gaped at him for a while and asked another dev guy in the room if what I heard was right. He confirmed. Turns out, the lead dev and the boss's son (who also works here) had had a huge argument since morning on the same issue and finally the dev guy had washed it off his hands and declared that if anything goes wrong from testing it on production, it's entirely the boss's own fault. That's when the boss stepped in and approached me. I ran back to his office and began to explain why prod servers don't top the list of things you can fuck around with. But he simply silenced me saying, "What can go wrong?" and added, "You shouldn't stay still. You should keep moving". Okay, like firstly what the fuck and secondly, what the fuck?.
Even though OpenVPN client is not the scariest thing to install, tomorrow's going to be fun.4 -
I was working on a new feature for this legacy project.. Just minding my own buisness then all out of the blue I got an email from our client (before the email I exported the live database because I needed to reproduce a weird bug) saying the sync stopped working
<backstory>
The database needs to sync every 15 minutes because it has a master-master relationship with a 3rd party database..
</backstory>
So I was like shiiit! Did I do that!? So I checked the logs, nothing... I called the 3rd part to check if they have problems, nothing.. Then I checked the network logs... Again all fine... 30 nervous minutes later, I got a new mail... Saying it finally synced... Still have no clue what happened or if it ever was a problem... God damn clients man... -
Tried disney+ for a week, I was not amazed by the catalogue. went to cancel my subscription and saw this. I guess if my trial ends at an "invalid date" then it would not end at all
5 -
never have I ever:
boomers:
- never have I ever cheated on my husband!
- never have I ever paid my mortgage on time!
- never have I ever left my car uninsured!
zoomers:
- never have I ever found a logically sound justification to continue living
- never have I ever had a social interaction without voices in my head telling me my whole life is a secret plot to betray me spectacularly at the end
- never have I ever coped with the realization that the fabric of my reality itself is nothing but assumptions that hardened into beliefs
- never have I ever felt that my life after I started to take my prescriptions is something but a bland, ironed out shadow of what a functioning member of society should feel4 -
You ever dig a hole?
You ever realize that you are digging yourself into a hole?
You ever look at the hole and decide to keep digging because you think digging more will help?3 -
Dear Java library developers. The javadoc is not an excuse to not write documentation.
Signed,
a very annoyed golang developer -
Anyone ever been stuck without an IDE?
Anyone ever had to use notepad instead?
ARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!!!!17 -
Continuation of the events ranted here: https://devrant.com/rants/9895220/...
In a turn of events and very emotional moments of human admissions, it turned out that the team leader in question is in fact suffering a lot on a personal level. Not to detail here but suffice to say that, if his story is true, is enough to make everyone have a very short fuse.
He - eventually - admitted his wrongdoings, asked/begged me to stay, promised on his life and soul to never communicate unprofessionally ever again, to take a long vacation to mourn and reflect and will consider relinquishing the position of team leader for my team and just focus on the other one he manages.
I considered this a win. I stood my ground, made very clear the terms on how I continue working in the organization, the project, and with him, and kept my client and money rolling.
That being said if it ever happens once more. I immediately resign and he will be left without any chance of recovery. -
You're working on a project, your boss has set you tasks to complete. You complete all the tasks and make pull requests of all the work you've done. Your boss is busy and you don't know what to do next? What do you do? Is it unethical to work on personal projects in work hours, because you're not being paid for that? How do you find other stuff to do?10
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NO ONE EVER MADE A DIFFERENCE BY BEING LIKE EVERYONE ELSE... And NO ONE EVER BECAME GREAT BY COPYING SOMEONE ELSE...7
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New android dev joiners... Never Ever... I am saying.. never ever update the test devices in the office...!!! 😣😣
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While writing your codes, have you ever noticed that all the programming languages you've ever come across are actually... English?
Has any of you ever coded in non-English (and non-symbolic, like ook, brainfuck, whitespace et al) language?21 -
When you try to make a customer support ticket on a website and it redirects you to a page that says "site is under construction" after you submit a well-composed form that took considerable time to write up:
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
That's fucking genius. Someone give them a Nobel prize. >.> -
Fuck the traffic jam I'm dealing with every damn day since two fucking months. It takes 1,5 fucking hours to geht the fuck home from work. I'm done with public transportation. I'm gonna take my shitty bike out even if the fucking temperatures are lower than the standards of the fucking people who misplanned this goddamn street reconstruction.4
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"Do I ever get tired of winning? No, why would I ever get tired of winning?
What kind of silly question is that, why would I ever get tired of winning?"
- Hikaru Nakamura on Livestream3 -
Did you ever think time estimations are hard? If so, did you ever try adding your actual taken time months after working on a ticket?8
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Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever give the opportunity, not even once, to let a BE decide how a front end is going to work. They will fuck it up 100% of the time. I’m sorry but it’s true.6
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First time programming. I'm sure I got it right. Compiler must have a bug. My instructions were very specific. Wait... what... I don't even...
Credits r/ProgrammerHumor.
-
How to download anything in Kiwix flatpak version?
I only get a Javascript alert with "Error: download failed." whenever i click the "Download" button next to an item in the library.
Also: Why are desktop versions almost unusable these days.
Are devs not owning desktops anymore?!4 -
I was told I have to integrate my current project for my current group with my first group's baseline. W/e. As long as I get paid.
Well the issue is, I haven't been with that group in a year and a half. And their product, I now realize, is terrible. I better get a great fucking performance review. -
Fuck, I always thought writing websites for Internet Explorer was hard. But have you ever tried to escape Facebook Messenger's dark mode?! That shit is wild. Completely ignoring any settings specifically targeting dark mode and instead fucking up the entire color scheme. Even google, apple and other simple black and white sites are getting ass raped by this shit. WTF.1
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How to relieve the boredom when stuck at home and too tired to code?
I'm working my way through every episode of Father Ted (again)
https://channel4.com/programmes/...4 -
When you are in a meetup or a conversation with hipster devs and you hear new buzzwords, just use common sense, google it and pretend you've used it...
Just like anybody else. -
Every time I follow "# Simple step to" tutorial.
Every time an error occurs and I feel ssso fukin dumb, dmn -
Confession:
I've been working as C# programmer for an entire year, and I wrote desktop app as well as win services, but when it comes to practice (cause I moved to PHP about 7 months ago) on Codewars I go completely wrong, and it's even worst on Hackerrank.
Have to admit, feel so dumb and lost2 -
Rust's Result is definitely the best error-handling experience I have ever had. I started working on some Typescript stuff after using Rust for a few weeks and had to implement my own Result. It's just so easy and clean that it leaves exceptions in the dust. I don't think I can live without Results anymore.
Now I understand why everyone loves rust so much. It's just so clean, safe, easy (after you get the hang of it) and so fucking powerful (procedural macros are awesome).
I want to use Rust everywhere now <35 -
Oh man, I know this isn't the place for videos but this video on why coding sucks is probably the best rant in existence.
https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
I check for trailing spaces.
In email.
(I want *everything* I ever type ever, to be in Sublime Text). -
Just spent 3 hours on a segfault bug that could have been prevented had I been diligently putting const where it should be. Shame on me. Never be too lazy for const-correctness ever ever ever...1
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til recurring reminders have a lower interval limit of 4 hours. this 500 server error wasn't very specific about that.1
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Just had the worst time ever. Tried to register to a web portal of my ISP. Couldn't even get to the dashboard. It randomly redirects back to login page. Doesn't save info. Asks for info already given in the profile when I try to add my connection and then says info doesn't match with what's in the profile.. WTF!!! I just copy pasted it from the profiles info page. :/ just gave up after trying for the 50th time. I just can't understand how someone could design something with this level of shitty user experiance.
I would just like to say fuck you to the assholes who designed that worthless portal. :/ -
The proprietary CMS of the web agency where I'm currently working. It uses also a proprietary PHP framework.
Don't even know what is worst -
"[...] Good Programming is a few brief moments of sublime elegance embedded in months of niggling, exacting, precise trivialities. [...]"
❤️
https://hackernoon.com/how-to-be-an... -
The greatest thing I ever do when work is pending from DevOps Teams, opening devRant app. Ever did the same?
#MyDaySucks -
This has been the best day of my life ever!!!!
So what happened was I hopped on to the office cab and there was this... [read more]3 -
!rant
Just started a new internal project today. The best thing? The meeting I just got out of, in which we were discussing the details, was with someone with technical knowledge and experience, and who had realistic expectations. Never have I been so happy after a meeting! :D -
MySQL docker container randomly just redeployed itself. Because he can.
The worst part is that it pulled the last mysql-percona image (5.7 strict mode by default plus more) and I cant revert it!!! looooool
And you know what its the best thing? is that today is friday!! Best weekend ever 10/10 would repeat again fixing sql's everyday2 -
How nothing in our ever changing workflow is ever documented, we’re just out in the wild Wild West figuring it out as we go.
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Never ever ever ever download JavaScript studio frm Windows store rather spend dat time wisely like boiling an egg
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Adobe Illustrator worst program ever!, Need to get measurements from a webdesign and it takes for ever to load, missing images and fonts fuck this shit.
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Don't know if you know this music but... BEST SONG FOR A DEV EVER 😀 lyrics on github
http://youtube.com/watch/...
https://github.com/niclupien/Songs/...
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