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Interviewer: Welcome, Mr X. Thanks for dropping by. We like to keep our interviews informal. And even though I have all the power here, and you are nothing but a cretin, let’s pretend we are going to have fun here.
Mr X: Sure, man, whatever.
I: Let’s start with the technical stuff, shall we? Do you know what a linked list is?
X: (Tells what it is).
I: Great. Can you tell me where linked lists are used?
X:: Sure. In interview questions.
I: What?
X: The only time linked lists come up is in interview questions.
I:: That’s not true. They have lots of real world applications. Like, like…. (fumbles)
X:: Like to implement memory allocation in operating systems. But you don’t sell operating systems, do you?
I:: Well… moving on. Do you know what the Big O notation is?
X: Sure. It’s another thing used only in interviews.
I: What?! Not true at all. What if you want to sort a billion records a minute, like Google has to?
X: But you are not Google, are you? You are hiring me to work with 5 year old PHP code, and most of the tasks will be hacking HTML/CSS. Why don’t you ask me something I will actually be doing?
I: (Getting a bit frustrated) Fine. How would you do FooBar in version X of PHP?
X: I would, er, Google that.
I: And how do you call library ABC in PHP?
X: Google?
I: (shocked) OMG. You mean you don’t remember all the 97 million PHP functions, and have to actually Google stuff? What if the Internet goes down?
X: Does it? We’re in the 1st world, aren’t we?
I: Tut, tut. Kids these days. Anyway,looking at your resume, we need at least 7 years of ReactJS. You don’t have that.
X: That’s great, because React came out last year.
I: Excuses, excuses. Let’s ask some lateral thinking questions. How would you go about finding how many piano tuners there are in San Francisco?
X: 37.
I: What?!
X: 37. I googled before coming here. Also Googled other puzzle questions. You can fit 7,895,345 balls in a Boeing 747. Manholes covers are round because that is the shape that won’t fall in. You ask the guard what the other guard would say. You then take the fox across the bridge first, and eat the chicken. As for how to move Mount Fuji, you tell it a sad story.
I: Ooooooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy. Right, tell me a bit about yourself.
X: Everything is there in the resume.
I: I mean other than that. What sort of a person are you? What are your hobbies?
X: Japanese culture.
I: Interesting. What specifically?
X: Hentai.
I: What’s hentai?
X: It’s an televised art form.
I: Ok. Now, can you give me an example of a time when you were really challenged?
X: Well, just the other day, a few pennies from my pocket fell behind the sofa. Took me an hour to take them out. Boy was it challenging.
I: I meant technical challenge.
X: I once spent 10 hours installing Windows 10 on a Mac.
I: Why did you do that?
X: I had nothing better to do.
I: Why did you decide to apply to us?
X: The voices in my head told me.
I: What?
X: You advertised a job, so I applied.
I: And why do you want to change your job?
X: Money, baby!
I: (shocked)
X: I mean, I am looking for more lateral changes in a fast moving cloud connected social media agile web 2.0 company.
I: Great. That’s the answer we were looking for. What do you feel about constant overtime?
X: I don’t know. What do you feel about overtime pay?
I: What is your biggest weakness?
X: Kryptonite. Also, ice cream.
I: What are your salary expectations?
X: A million dollars a year, three months paid vacation on the beach, stock options, the lot. Failing that, whatever you have.
I: Great. Any questions for me?
X: No.
I: No? You are supposed to ask me a question, to impress me with your knowledge. I’ll ask you one. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
X: Doing your job, minus the stupid questions.
I: Get out. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
All Credit to:
http://pythonforengineers.com/the-p...89 -
My classmates are such hypocrites. They pretend to be programmers, but they can't fool me.
"Oh sorry. I can't show you the result of my html code. I have to compile it first, but there's no WiFi."
There's so many things wrong with that.39 -
Boss: "I don't want to comply with the GDPR"
Me, DPO: "I've told you the house rules. You must comply, stop arguing"
Boss: "But I don't want it. Bobby doesn't have to, and Eve doesn't have to, their moms are cool"
Me: "I don't give a crap about the other kids, you're going to be GDPR compliant. Bob and Eve will end up being raped in prison. It's that what you want?"
Boss: "What if I just pretend to do it."
Me: "I'll take away all your marketing toys. No more mailchimp for you young man."
Boss, crying: "You wouldn't touch my Facebook pixel!"
Me: "Especially your Facebook pixel. I'm so sick of that thing...."
Me: "...Look, you can still play with your toys, all I'm saying is you need to be honest and ask your buddies for consent before you put your pixels up their various holes"
Boss: "But they will never agree!"
Me: "Maybe that is good thing"
Boss: "But how will we get people to like us if I can't feed them pills and insert probes into their holes to measure their responses?"
Me: "Maybe you should focus on being a nice kid, someone people like to play with. Your buddies will tell other kids that you're a nice guy. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. Much more effort than what you're doing now. But you know, those friends will stick with you for decades, instead of just until the marketing-drugs wear off"
Boss: "I think I want a new mom"
Me: "You signed a contract. You're stuck with me for the next 2 years. And as long as you're living under my roof, you will follow my rules."14 -
My morning:
Me: Why did you just delete the failing unit tests?
Intern: I debugged it for a while and found one of the other developers broke it with his recent changes. I couldn't fix it.
Me: Did you let him know he broke it?
Intern: No.
Me: So you just deleted it and decided to pretend the feature isn't broken?
Intern: ... No ... I mean ... well you told us yesterday we needed to have all the tests passing.
(I NEED a stress ball people)30 -
The new iPhone 7 comes out on August. If you want to have a sneak peek at the new iPhone. Take a look at the your current iPhone and pretend it costs 200 dollars more.15
-
GF: "The Internet is broken!"
Me: "WHAT?! Sound the horn! Raise the alarm! Call gondor for aid! The Internet is broken! Does the president know?! Save yourself fools!"
*skips away on pretend horse*4 -
At job interview.
They: What would you describe as your biggest character flaw?
Me: *rolls d8* I pretend not to understand the local language in order to avoid interactions I would rather not have.
They: What?
Me: ¿que?6 -
How to have success when you are chatting with live support:
- Pretend to be a girl
This is very effective, I can get lower price and good deal almost every time.25 -
7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.
Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.
Fuck.
Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.
Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.
Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.
He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.
And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.
I need a fake rock with a key under it.
Great Sunday.18 -
Parents: When your child spends a lot of time with the PC and doesn't want to interact with you, you have some reflection to do before you turn off the internet and nag them for things all day. Chances are, they don't like being with you but don't want to say it, either, because of the kind of things they know you will say and think if they do it.
And for the love of everything that is holy, do NOT turn the internet off! That pisses them off even more!
Maybe I'd have told you how much I hate being forced to be with you if it didn't mean I'd get guilt tripped about it.
Being around the people who pretend that you are a fucking machine that only needs material things in life and does not at all need emotional support at least in the early parts of your life and deflecting every legit argument for the things you stand for with "Muh Feelingz" makes them seem even more pathetic than they are. They manage to be an inspiration to everyone who doesn't know them, yet fail to be the persons their children have any respect for.
It's as if children never imitate their surroundings at all...8 -
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .
In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”
When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”
The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…11 -
After it was revealed that the Equifax hack was even bigger yet again, the US government said something that really made me say/think something in the trend of "WHAT the actual FUCK?!"
"This data is in the hands of cyber criminals anyways".
You run the biggest mass surveillance program in the world, sucking up more than a million terabytes every hour, then at least could you PRETEND to care/take interest when the personal data of about all your citizens appears on the Internet?!
Fucking hell.11 -
You know those sassy ads that pretend to be interactive but open a new tab instead? Well that's how they named their divs
4 -
I've been very busy in the last weeks so I haven't read a lot about the recent "Linux CoC drama".
Now I'm reading what happened and, well... I'm disgusted.
Especially being a woman, I'm disgusted knowing that a group of people pretend to speak for me saying that we don't need meritocracy, but only more "inclusivity" (whatever that means). I don't give a fuck of your gender, write useful code and I'll appreciate you. And please, give me back the original Linus Torvalds: his irreverence made me laugh.
Sure, sometimes discrimination exists, however good companies will hire you if you are competent, no matter how you look. Instead, I encountered some incompetent women whining about "nobody listen to my ideas because I'm a woman". No, RTFM and maybe you will able to propose better ideas and people will listen to you.27 -
You say they are looking for me, but when i contact them they pretend like they dont even know me.
5 -
Don't BS your managers or peers about your understanding of a topic.
It is okay to not know something. It is not okay to pretend that you do.3 -
Navy story continued.
And continuing from the arp poisoning and boredom, I started scanning the network...
So I found plenty of WinXP computers, even some Win2k servers (I shit you not, the year was 201X) I decided to play around with merasploit a bit. I mean, this had to be a secure net, right?
Like hell it was.
Among the select douchebags I arp poisoned was a senior officer that had a VERY high idea for himself, and also believed he was tech-savvy. Now that, is a combination that is the red cloth for assholes like me. But I had to be more careful, as news of the network outage leaked, and rumours of "that guy" went amok, but because the whole sysadmin thing was on the shoulders of one guy, none could track it to me in explicit way. Not that i cared, actually, when I am pissed I act with all the subtleness of an atom bomb on steroids.
So, after some scanning and arp poisoning (changing the source MAC address this time) I said...
"Let's try this common exploit, it supposedly shouldn't work, there have been notifications about it, I've read them." Oh boy, was I in for a treat. 12 meterpreter sessions. FUCKING 12. The academy's online printer had no authentication, so I took the liberty of printing a few pages of ASCII jolly rogers (cute stuff, I know, but I was still in ITSec puberty) and decided to fuck around with the other PCs. One thing I found out is that some professors' PCs had the extreme password of 1234. Serious security, that was. Had I known earlier, I could have skipped a TON of pointless memorising...
Anyway, I was running amok the entire network, the sysad never had a chance on that, and he seemed preoccupied with EVERYTHING ELSE besides monitoring the net, like fixing (replacing) the keyboard for the commander's secretary, so...
BTW, most PCs had antivirus, but SO out of date that I didn't even need to encode the payload or do any other trick. An LDAP server was open, and the hashed admin password was the name of his wife. Go figure.
I looked at a WinXP laptop with a weird name, and fired my trusty ms08_067 on it. Passowrd: "aaw". I seriously thought that Ophcrack was broken, but I confirmed it. WTF? I started looking into the files... nothing too suspicious... wait a min, this guy is supposed to work, why his browser is showing porn?
Looking at the ""Deleted"" files (hah!) I fount a TON of documents with "SECRET" in them. Curious...
Decided to download everything, like the asshole I am, and restart his PC, AND to leave him with another desktop wallpaper and a text message. Thinking that he took the hint, I told the sysadmin about the vulnerable PCs and went to class...
In the middle of the class (I think it was anti-air warfare or anti-submarine warfare) the sysad burst through the door shouting "Stop it, that's the second-in-command's PC!".
Stunned silence. Even the professor (who was an officer). God, that was awkward. So, to make things MORE awkward (like the asshole I am) I burned every document to a DVD and the next day I took the sysad and went to the second-in-command of the academy.
Surprisingly he took the whole thing in quite the easygoing fashion. I half-expected court martial or at least a good yelling, but no. Anyway, after our conversation I cornered the sysad and barraged him with some tons of security holes, needed upgrades and settings etc. I still don't know if he managed to patch everything (I left him a detailed report) because, as I've written before, budget constraints in the military are the stuff of nightmares. Still, after that, oddly, most people wouldn't even talk to me.
God, that was a nice period of my life, not having to pretend to be interested about sports and TV shows. It would be almost like a story from highschool (if our highschool had such things as a network back then - yes, I am old).
Your stories?8 -
I really hate this company.
The code is a disaster. Every single other employee is a salesperson. Nobody has any bloody clue what I do or how difficult it is. They don't care about stability (unless things are crashing), maintenance (until crashing), code quality (until it delays features), or anything apart from shiny new features they can sell. The boss (the king salesman, if ever there was one) doesn't know how to manage, but tries to by acting like his "nice asshole" self -- he's an asshole that gives you passes, makes sure it's bloody obvious that he's doing it begrudgingly, yet everything is still absolutely your fault. If he arbitrarily decides it's too much your fault, he stops being "nice" and flips out on you in front of everyone. That's a "nice asshole": an asshole who can barely even pretend to be nice.
Fuck him.
And you know what? I really hate having to work next to these fucking birds, too.
Today was our weekly conference call, and I was both late and unprepared. I was too focused on my work, and got a ping 4 minutes into the meeting, so I obv didn't have time to prepare. Boss was also pissy today, and I didn't have much to show for my week, thanks to lots of little "OMG NEED ASAP" shit projects that all took too long, pushing back what I was actually supposed to work on. Which didn't get finished, of course, and today that project was "the most important" -- I suspect simply because it wasn't finished. AGADJFSKL. Cue the birds fucking screaming and never fucking shutting up no matter what I did. Blanket? No effect. Spray bottle? SCREAM MORE! Boss was yelling at me, the birds were screaming, and I couldn't think. Goddamn fucking disaster.
and yes, we have a macaw. A macaw and over 20 cockatiels. Said macaw decided today was a lovely day to just fucking SCREAM non-stop, and the tiels were doing their best to keep up. Thinking clearly during this cacophony? Not gonna happen.
Wait, "go elsewhere," you say? Somewhere quieter? Where is this "elsewhere?" We live in a fucking tiny house, and during the call it was (and still is) filled with sleeping people, and surrounded by a fucking desert. Who the fuck thought living in the desert was a good idea, anyway? Like, seriously. What brainless moron thought "You know what? This is a great place! Let's settle down right here," while trudging through the scorching sand and dust, looking at the basically lifeless horizon filled with large, hot, dry, dusty, barren rocks (aka "mountains"), and fucking dying from thirst? Probably someone so delirious from heatstroke they never actually recovered, and continued raving that it's a goddamn paradise to their heat-addled imbecile followers. I really hope they hallucinated a la-z-boy in place of a hedge of teddybear cholla and died an excruciating and prickly death. Fuck that guy/girl, too.
But I digress.
I seriously need an office that isn't a 30 min drive into gang-central. I'd work outside, but I live in the middle of the bloody fucking desert, and get heat exhaustion within about half an hour. Everywhere else in the house people bother me almost incessantly.
just. FUCKING FJASKLDFJGAG.
I HATE THIS PLACE SO SO SO MUCH.
'I've had such Zen lately,' Alex said. Maybe then, but lately? I've just been too exhausted and burned out from putting up with all this shit to get angry. Days like today? I could pour kerosene over everything and laugh as it all just burned to ash.15 -
--- GitHub 24-hour outage post mortem ---
As many of you will remember; Github fell over earlier this month and cracked its head on the counter top on the way down. For more or less a full 24 hours the repo-wrangling behemoth had inconsistent data being presented to users, slow response times and failing requests during common user actions such as reporting issues and questioning your career choice in code reviews.
It's been revealed in a post-mortem of the incident (link at the end of the article) that DB replication was the root cause of the chaos after a failing 100G network link was being replaced during routine maintenance. I don't pretend to be a rockstar-ninja-wizard DBA but after speaking with colleagues who went a shade whiter when the term "replication" was used - It's hard to predict where a design decision will bite back and leave you untanging the web of lies and misinformation reported by the databases for weeks if not months after everything's gone a tad sideways.
When the link was yanked out of the east coast DC undergoing maintenance - Github's "Orchestrator" software did exactly what it was meant to do; It hit the "ohshi" button and failed over to another DC that wasn't reporting any issues. The hitch in the master plan was that when connectivity came back up at the east coast DC, Orchestrator was unable to (un)fail-over back to the east coast DC due to each cluster containing data the other didn't have.
At this point it's reasonable to assume that pants were turning funny colours - Monitoring systems across the board started squealing, firing off messages to engineers demanding they rouse from the land of nod and snap back to reality, that was a bit more "on-fire" than usual. A quick call to Orchestrator's API returned a result set that only contained database servers from the west coast - none of the east coast servers had responded.
Come 11pm UTC (about 10 minutes after the initial pant re-colouring) engineers realised they were well and truly backed into a corner, the site was flipped into "Yellow" status and internal mechanisms for deployments were locked out. 5 minutes later an Incident Co-ordinator was dragged from their lair by the status change and almost immediately flipped the site into "Red" status, a move i can only hope was accompanied by all the lights going red and klaxons sounding.
Even more engineers were roused from their slumber to help with the recovery effort, By this point hair was turning grey in real time - The fail-over DB cluster had been processing user data for nearly 40 minutes, every second that passed made the inevitable untangling process exponentially more difficult. Not long after this Github made the call to pause webhooks and Github Pages builds in an attempt to prevent further data loss, causing disruption to those of us using Github as a way of kicking off our deployment processes (myself included, I had to SSH in and run a git pull myself like some kind of savage).
Glossing over several more "And then things were still broken" sections of the post mortem; Clever engineers with their heads screwed on the right way successfully executed what i can only imagine was a large, complex and risky plan to untangle the mess and restore functionality. Github was picked up off the kitchen floor and promptly placed in a comfy chair with a sweet tea to recover. The enormous backlog of webhooks and Pages builds was caught up with and everything was more or less back to normal.
It goes to show that even the best laid plan rarely survives first contact with the enemy, In this case a failing 100G network link somewhere inside an east coast data center.
Link to the post mortem: https://blog.github.com/2018-10-30-...7 -
When your boss asks for a web application that has drag and drop, resize, popup, fade inand out, dynamic styling and mobile compatibility but must work on IE8
You feel like:
Mission: Go to the moon
Tools: Broom's stick
Yeah i'll just pretend to be a witch and fly away7 -
Finally decided to quit from my current job. Fuck it. They still don't understand that an estimate is an approximation. They still don't understand that I have to fix all the shit made by all the contractors they hire and pay much more than me to implement solutions that work only until they leave the building, something that many barely understand but pretend to be experts in. I quit because of the managers that have no clue about what's happening although I stress them to make changes.
Should I care less about the product an just ship shit? Should I just do my tasks first and stop really helping others but pretend to do so?
Fuck it. I've tried to get it right they want it wrong but in a nice box. I'm an engineer not a fucking magician.12 -
So I teach a Lego mindstorms class to 5th graders for fun on my spare time. My other classes the kids usually seek me out for any programming questions but this one class of rambunctious boys would always say they're fine when I offered to help and then when they thought I wasn't looking would ask the male teacher or would pretend to listen to my explanation to not hurt my feelings. Finally my co worker told the guys "you know guys she went to school to program she does this for a living full time when she's not here. **room goes silent** In fact she's way better at programming then me". The whole room the boys mouths were open and one kid actually said noooo. We blew those kids minds. Most quiet day of class we've ever had after that.11
-
How to become cool in a developer community:
- try javascript for the first time
- pretend to use it like your favorite programming language (99% C)
- notice it is different
- rant about how stupid is javascript and its users7 -
!!politics
My employer held a company wide zoom meeting today. It was officially optional, but like 90% of the company attended.
It started out interesting as they had invited a speaker, but it quickly degraded into a gigantic political circlejerk. It was an hour and a half of bashing everyone who doesn’t hold exactly their views, calling them evil, calling them nazis, radicals, militants, racists, etc. — and I don’t share their views, like, at all, so. That really lets me know how they feel!
As far as I can tell, everyone else at the company has the same ideology. Not only does this make me incredibly uncomfortable and require me to act and pretend at all times, it’s honestly kind of infuriating, too. The amount of insults they throw around and blatant lack of tolerance displayed by these “tolerant” people is just incredible.
To them, anyone that doesn’t hold exactly their beliefs is evil, and often a slew of other things, too. And it doesn’t seem to matter how far removed those views are; apparently libertarians are evil as well? Apparently “leave everyone alone” is evil and gets you branded as a militant far-righty? Like, how does that even work? They ascribe to “everyone who doesn’t agree with me is literally Hitler,” I guess.
Fucking hell I can’t stand these people and their politics. And when they all get going on it together? Just. Fucking toxic.
I’ve been so disgusted today after sitting in on that meeting I’ve gotten practically nothing done. And I was so hoping to finally finish this stupid ticket.
Oh, and Mr. PM wants that screwdriver to do even more things now — by next week, of course. Fucking hell.
Why did I switch jobs, again?
Right, to get away from the politics.
Fucking hell.66 -
That moment when your cat turns up, shoves the mouse out of the way and goes to pretend sleep instantly.
6 -
Literature classmate saw my OS and asked me what it was. i told him it was Debian, he then told me that looks "Hacker" (i cringed all the way into orbit.)
He tried to install debian so he can pretend to know shit. And ended up partitioning his entire hard drive! Hahaha18 -
Wow... this is the perfect week for this topic.
Thursday, is the most fucked off I’ve ever been at work.
I’ll preface this story by saying that I won’t name names in the public domain to avoid anyone having something to use against me in court. But, I’m all for the freedom of information so please DM if you want to know who I’m talking about.
Yesterday I handed in my resignation, to the company that looked after me for my first 5 years out of university.
Thursday was my breaking point but to understand why I resigned you need a little back story.
I’m a developer for a corporate in a team of 10 or so.
The company that I work for is systemically incompetent and have shown me this without fail over the last 6 months.
For the last year we’ve had a brilliant contracted, AWS Certified developer who writes clean as hell hybrid mobile apps in Ion3, node, couch and a tonne of other up to the minute technologies. Shout out to Morpheus you legend, I know you’re here.
At its core my job as a developer is to develop and get a product into the end users hands.
Morpheus was taking some shit, and coming back to his desk angry as fuck over the last few months... as one of the more experienced devs and someone who gives a fuck I asked him what was up.
He told me, company want their mobile app that he’s developed on internal infrastructure... and that that wasn’t going to work.
Que a week of me validating his opinion, looking through his work and bringing myself up to speed.
I came to the conclusion that he’d done exactly what he was asked to, brilliant Work, clean code, great consideration to performance and UX in his design. He did really well. Crucially, the infrastructure proposed was self-contradicting, it wouldn’t work and if they tried to fudge it in it would barely fucking run.
So I told everyone I had the same opinion as him.
4 months of fucking arguing with internal PMs, managers and the project team go by... me and morpheus are told we’re not on the project.
The breaking point for me came last Wednesday, given no knowledge of the tech, some project fannies said Morpheus should be removed and his contract terminated.
I was up in fucking arms. He’d done everything really well, to see a fellow developer take shit for doing his job better than anyone else in [company] could was soul destroying.
That was the straw on the camels back. We don’t come to work to take shit for doing a good job. We don’t allow our superiors to give people shit in our team when they’re doing nothing but a good job. And you know what: the opinion of the person that knows what they’re talking about is worth 10 times that of the fools who don’t.
My manager told me to hold off, the person supposed to be supporting us told me to stand down. I told him I was going to get the app to the business lead because he fucking loves it and can tell us if there’s anything to change whilst architecture sorts out their outdated fucking ideas.
Stand down James. Do nothing. Don’t do your job. Don’t back Morpheus with his skills and abilities well beyond any of ours. Do nothing.
That was the deciding point for me, I said if Morpheus goes... I go... but then they continued their nonsense, so I’m going anyway.
I made the decision Thursday, and Friday had recruiters chomping at the bit to put the proper “senior” back in my title, and pay me what I’m worth.
The other issues that caused me to see this company in it’s true form:
- I raised a key security issue, documented it, and passed it over to the security team.
- they understood, and told the business users “we cannot use ArcGIS’ mobile apps, they don’t even pretend to be secure”
- the business users are still using the apps going into the GDPR because they don’t understand the ramifications of the decisions they’re making.
I noticed recently that [company] is completely unable to finish a project to time or budget... and that it’s always the developers put to blame.
I also noticed that middle management is in a constant state of flux with reorganisations because in truth the upper managers know they need to sack them.
For me though, it was that developers in [company], the people that know what they’re talking about; are never listened to.
Fuck being resigned to doing a shit job.
Fuck this company. On to one that can do it right.
Morpheus you beautiful bastard I know you’ll be off soon too but I also feel I’ve made a friend for life. “Private cloud” my arse.
Since making the decision Thursday I feel a lot more free, I have open job offers at places that do this well. I have a position of power in the company to demand what I need and get it. And I have the CEO and CTO’s ears perking up because their department is absolutely shocking.
Freedom is a wonderful feeling.13 -
Long rant ahead.
Holy shit is this hard.
I'm not a dev, but I'm working really hard to become one. I come home from work every day at 7:00pm and study between 3 and 5 hours of coding, and finally I'm starting to make decent responsive web pages. I got excited, finally the studies are paying off and I guess I got carried away and told a "friend" about it.
"What?, But making web pages its fucking easy anybody can do web pages! I did mine with dreamwiever, is that even considered development"
And there goes my self steem holy shit..I know, I know its not development, Im not a programmer neither do I pretend to be one but holy shit.
I guess I wish some people would anderstand the amount of effort that can go into an app or web..21 -
Fucking HR interviews. Fucking "tell me about yourself" and pretending to seem interested in what i have to say while you think about how you did it with a guy behind the dumpster.
For fucks sake, i am a developer, i have spent more time with coding language than human language. I speak more to a rubber duck than to my friends. That's what you want to know about me?
I am here to fix your fucking site that uses flash plugin in 2017 and you want me to tell good things about your company?
Do you want me to tell you the details about your site that i got from whois and that your subscribed domain registration will end in September this year?
You don't know what responsive design is and you dare interview me?
Thanks for wasting my time and telling me shit about your company and how you have offices in germany and china. Well guess what? I dont care. I am busy thinking about some girl... Actually i am thinking about my side project. I dont know why i pretend to be cool?7 -
Old man's tale. It's true.
Like 12 years ago, I was working in a small town computer store.
One day, a really ugly woman came in and asked for data recovery since she could not boot up her PC anymore.
We recovered her data, and just to make sure it was all "working", we randomly checked a few directories for files.
We have found some photos of her.
Her and a bottle of Coke.
Let me put it this way: she loves coke bottles. A lot.
There are things that can't be unseen, and moments you still remember after 12 years. Like the moment she came in to get her stuff - and you need to pretend to be all business while you're almost pissing your pants.
Good days :)7 -
The list would be quite long.
I think Google is still making good tools, but just like Apple the integrations get all so tight and constricting... And with their data, if it goes wrong, it will go wrong hard.
I feel like YouTube is gliding into a state where cheap clickbait floats to the top and finding quality gets more difficult as well, their algorithm is more and more tuned to choose recent popular stuff over good older gems.
Microsoft is all pretend lovey dovey cuddling open source, but I'm still suspicious it's all a hug of death. I was never a big fan, but they're seriously dropping balls when it comes to windows-as-a-service, taking away so much personal control from end users even though they can't be trusted to babysit either.
Amazon is creeping it's way through the internet, charging $10/m to join the vip club infesting houses with spytubes to sell more plastic crap. Bezos' only right to keep wasting oxygen is BlueOrigin, but he'll probably fuck that up as well turning spaceflight into a decadent prime consumer orgy instead of something inspiring.
Facebook... Well, that's self explanatory. Fuck it, everything it pretends to be, and everyone who still has an account with a rusty spike.
Uber and AirBnB, with their fake ass mission of a green shared economy, but they trample over employees, customers and neighbors to build their ivory towers of progressive illusions.
Then there's a million declining brands.
I liked Skype for example when it was first released, Just like how I started out liking (and then hating) Discord, Slack, etc... They're all tools which seem fast and easy, but then they get us further away from solid protocols, get us entrenched into limiting, bloated and sometimes even dangerous tools. As my dad used to say: "Companies are like women, if you go for cheap, fast and easy you'll end up with a burning dick and half your savings gone"
You know what, fuck all tech companies.
OK, devrant is still pretty nice... For now.8 -
Somebody asked me my API doc.
I don't have any API at all.
I will lie, and I'll write a swagger specification in few hours and I'll send them.
They will try to read it and understand, and after maybe a week, when they will ask for testing and endpoint I'll pretend to be on holiday for 2 weeks.
3-4 weeks gone already, I checked they should be on holiday by then. Only then, I'll answer with a fake endpoint with fake data.
I'll get another 2 weeks if I'm lucky.
When they discover about fake data, I'll say there is a bug.
In total if I play well, I have 2/2.5 months to implement some kind of API server with some more or less true implementation.
Thanks to Swagger. Swag11 -
Boy do I hate office politics...
A client asked our company to fix perf issues on their product. Our coleagues had been picked for the job [being led by another 3rd-party, as per client's request]. Aaand they dropped the ball. The deadline is in 2 weeks, nothing is working.
Mgmt engaged us to put out the fire, but strictly at the scope the other guys were working in.
On the first day of testing we've revealed an elephant-sized perf issue that's as easy to fix as brainlessly changing 4 values in config. And that elephant is masking all the other perf issues.
We got a firm NO for config changes as that is out of the defined scope. And we're asked to continue testing.
I mean, the elephant is THAT huge that any further testing is moot - all other bottlenecks are hidden behind it. And just changing those 4 values would reduce the resources required by a magnitude of ~10.
But that's out of scope...
Client is desperate, lost and honestly asking us, pros in the field, for help.. We know how to help.. It takes 10 seconds to apply the fix..
But our mgmt forbids us to step out of the scope :/
as a result we have to pretend to be dummies hardly knowing what to do and hide the truth from the customer they so desperately want.
This is frustrating. And wrong. And imo unprofessional10 -
My life... Back to studying (haven't made it far through the book. Trying not to pretend I know it all)
30 -
Him: You can code, right?
Me: Of course,why
Him: I want to start promoting my (very crappy) music, I need you to –
Me: No!
Him: But, I just –
Me: I already said No.Never gonna happen.
Him: I get it.You really can't code,you just pretend to.A simple website can't be that hard for you if you knew.
Me:(Pushing him out) Nice try.9 -
Best part of working from home? Oh boy, here I go
1. NO COMMUTE !! Fuck public transport. I can just grab my laptop straight to my bed, get comfortable and work in whatever posture I wish to.
2. Relaxation and peace of mind. The local park, library, football ground. I can go anywhere to get work done. All I need is my phone and laptop.
3. Better food - I can cook my own food. Dieting actually works by eating home-made food and not the fried bullshit we eat outside.
4. No office politics - Remote working means you don't have to think about being a circle and getting liked or not. Get your work done and that's it.
5. No "Extra" Activities - We all know HRs are just bored af people making employees have "fun" activities just to push a "culture" agenda on LinkedIn. Umm no thanks.
6. No toxicity - Well, this one is a doozie, you don't get workplace toxicity but you do get home toxicity. People assuming that you stay in ur room all day and do nothing. I'd still take home toxicity though.
7. If there is no work, I don't have to pretend that I am working and hiding my screen from my boss. I can just play video games in that time.
8. Option to start a side-hustle. You have more chances to retain some energy after your shift to start investing/putting time into something that can make you extra cash.
9. Worldwide opportunities - Because of WFH, I work with clients from Netherlands, Estonia, London and Cayman Islands. It never would have happened if I was in an office job.
10. Only work, no extra bullshit - be it smoke breaks, casual tea, conferences, work summits etc. None of that and I don't want it.
11. Your errands get done - Need to go to the dentist at 10 am? You can do that. Need to pick up your kid at 3 pm? You can do that. You need 5 pm time dedicated to go the gym? You can do that.
In conclusion, I absolutely vouch for WFH and would never take WFO for as long as possible.
WFH FTW !!!9 -
Well, some time in the future, i will have to sit a computer science exam with C#. It can't be that bad, right?
Wrong.
To start off, Visual Studio 2013. Why the fuck someone would use this pile of garbage in 2018. I have no fucking clue why any semi-competent IT department would decide to skip TWO fucking releases of the software and decide, that it's okay to just roll with it. It's okay to not have any updates. It's okay to just no care at all.
I literally brought in my laptop with a VM installed since Visual Studio 2017 is really superior to the crap from 5 years ago just to do my coursework most lessons.
-------
Second issue, you know thoes desks where the monitor is literally under the desk and you get a small little window to see the monitor? Yeah, well I will have to take my proper exam in one of these all over the fucking room. Pic related.
Today we had a mini mock - - it went something like this:
- There was glare from the glsss on the desk because of the lights in the room and literally the monitor itself.
- The glass was beyond fucking pig filthy.
- There was neck pain from my back because i was constantly looking down and bending over the see the screen.
- There was eye strain because the document given to us was a tiny piece of paper with tiny writing and the monitor was far away and the paper was close i couldn't focus my eyes.
- Literally every desk was as bad as the next.
- I did fuck all work because i just couldn't focus because of the things above.
You can tell how great that felt.
If i was in a room with a man (or if it was a woman, let's just pretend she has balls), who was the creator of the room i just described, Hitler, my College's IT staff and other really bad people while having infinite ammo, i would continuously shoot the creator in the balls while not giving a shit about anything else.
Forever.
Until heat death.
Thanks for reading.
23 -
I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:
"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "
OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:
"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."
PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".
Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet7 -
Might sound weird but I pretend somebody is watching me through my own eyes. Somebody I want to impress, or make jealous, of my productivity and skill. Elaborate, but it works.3
-
I just had my worst hackathon so far and need to puke my whole toxic hatred, the rant will be full of hate so be warned. (I just don't want to let it go on my girlfriend, but I need to shout it out loud somewhere)
First of all, it is alright to be a beginner at a hackathon. It is also alright to not know that much about coding and want to learn. But it is not alright to lie about your skill, pretend to be a senior programmer and waste my fucking time.
Don't even fucking dare to say your are "fit" in Android development if you just have done some foobar tutorial on YouTube, don't even bother to read the document and have literally non existent knowledge about computer science.
Why the fucking hell do you need to pretend to be a seasoned programmer if you are just a bloody beginner? I mean you are in a hackathon full of computer nerds so soon or later your impostor ass will be debunked so what is the point?
And the other guy. Why the fucking hell did.'t you say that you just begin Python for 3 months? You are not a fucking developer if you just started coding for 3 fucking months. Learn some fucking coding before starting with machine learning you fucking punk ass bitch script kiddie.
Alright, maybe I was too naive to not check my teammates' background before make a team with them. Fuck me and my fucking stupid ass. My dumb ass monkey brain fell for big mouths, I deserved the headache right now and none less.
Lesson learned!9 -
TL;DR
5 day deadline with stupid requests.
So, after these series of events:
https://devrant.com/rants/1306582/...
https://devrant.com/rants/1303776/...
I was full on sarcasm mode yesterday and heard my name in a conversation between my boss and a front end dev ( my boss sits literally behind me ) ...
They were talking about improvements on the web app that I made in a rush to a meeting.
I was there thinking : fuck.. Don't ask... Don't ask
But I could not restrain my self and I did ask: hey, what's that about? It isn't for the meeting at day April's 9 , is it? ( in a "of course not" tone )
He said it is... With the most annoying dumb smile face he always does ( I'm convinced he might be retarded )
And I just : can't be done.
So we started chatting about it... How it is gonna be presented to our manager on Monday ( April's 2 ) for approval and how we are gonna implement it by April's 9.
Stick with me on this one:
I'm the sole dev.
The only one that know the back end tech.
The only one that deals with the servers.
I'm heeling you : 5 fucking days isn't enought!
Its gonna be 5 days if, and only if everything is approved by Monday fucking morning. Which I bet my asshole isn't gonna be.
So let's pretend we have 5 days to change the fucking logic of how shdt works we still need the data to put in there... Aaahh the data... That shit is the fucking holy-grail around here... Impossible to find.
And he said it is important for a 2nd round of investment that we do that.
These people are fucking insane...
I really don't know what to think... I'm gonna have to go full rage-mode once more to accomplish this?
I'm already burned down from the last couple weeks doing that.
I used my last energy with the last rush... For nothing.4 -
So after fucking around with trying to setup pi-hole to block avatars in devrant, so I could just use it instead of a no-root firewall and accidentally deleting the devrant app data, I discovered this little option, let's pretend it was never there 🙄
7 -
Worst thing in IT you can do is pretend to know what you’re doing when you don’t.
All seems harmless until that person starts resolving git conflicts….. 💣💥4 -
My dev role model is my senior who taught me JavaScript when I was a noob. He was so cool. One of the few real programmers who enjoy their work in a clusterfuck world of idiots who pretend for money.
His philosophy sticks with me even today. I was new to the industry and the long hours of low pay intern work were getting to me. But he kept reminding me that programming still has this cool, engineering side where you blitz stuff out on a keyboard and build awesome shit.
I owe him my career because without him I'd still be one of the other stooges who bitch about the job and avoid studying. But since working with him, I never speak bad about my profession. Programming is a beautiful profession, even if the people I work with are sometimes dumbfuck dicks. And he taught me that distinction.2 -
I am actually consider buying a rubber duck from devrant
To support them but mostly
when I need help, pretend that using the duck don't work so I need another rubbr duck and ask a co-worker to help me
yeah I'm a bitch5 -
I'm someone who' s productive so I get things done earlier than expected, so then I get time to rest. However, when the managers see me resting, they always think that I'm "not doing my job" or "idle" or "doing nothing" so they always ask me "what are you doing?" or "you've got things to do?".
From now on I will just pretend that every f*cking easy task is worth 1 week to do.15 -
Oh null, how I detest you.
select birthdate, isnull(birthdate) from Users;
>> [null, 0]
Maybe I wrongfully accuse the abstract concept, and should rather loathe the engineers who can't wrap their heads around null despite their heads being a skull literally wrapping fucking nothingness.
Oracle engineers:
"Wait that's invalid input. What do we do?"
"Default the date to 0000-00-00?"
"That kind of looks like a null..."
"Hmm but it isn't *really* a full-on, butt-clenching, hardcore, intrinsic, I-can-taste-it-in-the-air null"
"Yeah not really feeling it either. It's not giving me the typical null-goosebumps."
"Oh, I know! Let's make it a pretend-null, where the actual type totally depends on the layer of the application!"
"Yeah developers love ambiguous random conversions!"4 -
Disclaimer: I wrote this rant in Chinese as some mother fucker trying to pretend to be Chinese and cussing people here. This is my public rant calling him out.
@topramen,
我说最后一次，如果你那么牛逼，你有胆就来广丰公安局见个面。我们慢慢地聊。24 -
Dear Android studio,
When u require an update please tell me u require an update.Do not pretend u can't open jdk folder or shit like that ...you could find jdk yesterday u can now
Sincerely
Me
(Frustrated insomniac)1 -
Oh, I'm sorry if I have spoken during this meeting. I didn't realise I was invited just so I would be told "we're not going into that much detail at this stage of the project". I was just trying to point out that when you mock up any UI, you should take into account the fact that information is hierarchical: more important stuff before less important stuff, you know. Maybe you don't want to swamp the user with buttons all the time. When everything is important, nothing is. But that's just detail. And then the boss says we should create two more incongruent screens and all of the sudden that's a brilliant idea! So then again, sorry. I know exactly where my place is now. You pretend you know what you're doing and I fix it for you.1
-
I think my productivity at work seriously went up when I discovered this site with custom noise generators. Blocks out my coworkers, and I can pretend it's raining all the time. Perfect for coding!
http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/...2 -
Finally after one year I understood how to carry out my job. I should do exactly NOTHING. I stopped completely organizing the team, solving bugs, helping the team developing and solving problems, explore and try stupid things said by CEO, PM and consultants.
I stopped for 2 months now and nothing happened.
I work remotely, nobody knows if I'm working or not, because nobody cares really about priorities, bugs, customers or products development.
I gain 10K$ (ten thousand) per month.
I attend skype meeting once per week or less. I say yes to everything, nobody gives a shit to what I say, even if they consider me the technical director. Actually in the meetings I only take care of being considered the technical director.
I achieved the mythical 4 hours working week.
I keep skype open in all my devices in order to answer promptly in case of problem, wherever I'm am, that's the most important thing right now.
I attended some meeting from the toilet or from the bedroom.
It was hard. To understand that the board is only after the next funding and not looking to develop a real product. It's hard to pretend helping people while thinking inside you "fuck you".
You have to let go the "guilt": if you can't login, I KNOW that is my fault, that there is a bug, that is possible to solve it, that resources and planning are needed etc. That's guilt. Just let go and say "next release" and never include it in the next release.
In this way I discovered that some users are paying the application even if they can't login.
The company is not going to disappear in the next 5 years. On the contrary, it's going to receive more money.
So the only "bad" thing is, what will I write in my CV in 5 years?20 -
A recipe for COMPLETELY hacking me off - ask for help, pretend my advice is bollocks, then rephrase it as your own and follow it up with a smart arse comment.
"Almond, could you lend me a hand with this regex? I'm trying to match this particular group, but only if it doesn't have 'foo' after it."
"Sure, take a look at negative lookaheads - that sounds like it's exactly what you need"
"Nah that won't work for me, because I need to check for more than one character after it, I need to check for 'foo'"
"What? That doesn't make sense, you can..."
"Ah don't worry, I've found the answer by myself now, I can actually just add '?!' before the text I don't want to match and it'll do it - I'm fast becoming a regex expert here! Let me know if you want me to explain this to you"
DAHHHHHHH THAT IS A NEGATIVE LOOKAHEAD YOU CRETIN3 -
how to sound smart in a meeting: pretend to listen carefully for the new idea being said, and then ask one question: "does it scale?"1
-
Another smartass! Here we go!
Look, I'm an idiot and I'm absolutely aware of it. But you don't get to give an opinion without having the knowledge or skills. I may be young-ish and stupid, but that doesn't mean you're right, or that you know better than me ffs. If I'm down to earth, that doesn't mean you're above me. If you want my respect, then behave yourself. Just because you think you've "schooled me"...doesn't mean you did.
... Aaaaaand those are stuff I'll never say in real life. Gah. I can't lecture people I don't care about, but some do piss me off regardless. And what is with this sharp increase of people pissing me off these day? 🤔 🤔 🤔5 -
planned a project,
spent a whole day on a feature.
3 weeks later, i realise that feature i spent a whole day on wasn't needed at all.
i'm a fucking noob ape trying to pretend it's a developer or some shit.3 -
"Systems open to all, but closed to intruders"
HEY, HP, PACK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OF TRASH SOFTWARE INTO YOUR TRAILER HOME AND DRIVE IT OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE __FUCK__ DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU LITERAL BLOAT FLIES. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THE FACT THAT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER ANYWHERE IN A COMPANY GIVING AWAY ONE LOGIN IN A SOCIAL ENGINEERING ATTACK TO POP THIS NICE FART FILLED BALLOON YOUR DRUNK SALES AND MARKETING MORON PARADE CAME UP WITH.
STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MR. ROBOT AND LET ME PRETEND IT'S NOT A PRODUCT FOR JUST ONE MOMENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU4 -
I started recently working for a big company, and when I say big, I mean really BIG.
Well, my colleagues are from different parts of the world, of course some names are harder to pronounce, so, let's say your name is 'Yagarishmakeshin', well, sometimes is easier(and I used to think friendly) to call you by a shorter name, for this example let's say 'Yag', you know, like Apu form the Simpsons, which is normal I think, people use to call me always by shorter names too and is fine.
Well, yesterday I received a complain from HR saying some people complain about this, it turns out this is offensive or degradating; I was also warned about not calling a girl 'girl', example:
- random girl at my team - So, I created this routine which is very effective and provides good performance
- me - Awesome girl, very cool
Well, Someone complain I call them 'girl' and is not fine.
I cannot tell you how frustrated I feel about this, is like, if you feel uncomfortable with a short name, just say it to me, something like 'Hey I prefer you call me by my full name' or something like that, but nah, you prefer to raise a complain like if I were a fucking predator or something; Also, I cannot retaliate or mention the topic, I need to change and pretend nothing happened.
Fuck you big corporations, and fuck you skinny stupid bitch16 -
Some years ago our company site was hosted by a prick who knew nothing and started to pretend the server got a virus or whatever.
I tested their server and figured out they did not have any firewall policies going on like mitigation of ssh brute force.
It was at this time I learned about SYN flood, and boy I flooded that port 80 of them.
The company site went down for as long as I wanted.
It was great because now we manage it in house and never had a problem anymore. -
*Declines meeting an hour past working hours*
Manager: “any specific reason why you declined my invite?”
What I want to say: “You are a narcissistic cunt who I wish to never interact with again. Your existence in this world and the way you treat others makes me want to throw up!”
But I just pretend like I never saw their message.8 -
Be me
>programming since I got up
>don't have much time to program because job sucks up all my time
>dont know the best solution to a problem so decide to take a small break
>open rocket league
>start 1v1 match
>4 minutes later
>dad walks in my room, demanding I go pretend to be a stone age nibba
>pic related
>wants me to dig some dirt for his crops
>wants me to carry multiple buckets of water
>wants me to plow literally fields
>no.jpg
>thisIsRealLifeNotMinecraft.wav
>tells me that I'm addicted
>tells me that he's getting rid of the Internet again
>fuckyou.png
Only my girlfriend and programming bring me joy and you reduce my capacity to interact with both. Fuck you.
14 -
Not sure why I still call my smartphone a phone at all. I rarely talk on it. It's a microcomputer with a phone app. I'm really surprised my toddler even knows to put it up to his head and pretend talk.3
-
Well, my company hired a total amateur who can't do anything right on his own without copying code from me or the internet and I have to pretend he's helping in any capacity because otherwise I'm a "bad team player" and "should communicate more".
Helped me get over impostor syndrome, at least.7 -
Oh man. I have been waiting for this one. Gather round lil' chil'rens it's story time.
So. I was looking for a new project because my old one was wrapping up and that's what my company does. So I was offered some simulation type stuff. I was like "sure why not, I want to make a computer pretend it isn't a computer no more." Side note I should not be a psychiatrist.
So, prior to coming on to this job I felt stifled by my old job's process. This job was a smaller team so I thought the process would be a little smoother. But it turned out they had NO process. Like they had a bug tracking system and they held the meeting to add things to the system, but that was just fucking lip service to a process.
First of all, they used the local disk on the test box as their version control. and had no real scheme as to how they organized it. We had a CM tool but gods forbid they ever fucking use it. I would be handed problem reports and interface change requests, write a bug to track it, go into the code and about 75% of the time or more it had already been worked. However, there was no record of it being worked and I would have to fucking hunt that shit down in a terribly shitty baseline (standardize your gods damned indentation for fuck's sake) and half the time only found out it was done because when I finally located the piece of code that needed changing, the work was already done.
Then, on top of all that, they ask me what time I want to come in. I said 10am, they said okay. One day I roll in at 10 and my boss is mad. Because I missed a meeting. That was at 9. That I wasn't told about. He says I can keep coming in at 10am though (I asked and volunteered to help get him up to speed on the things I was working he said it wasn't necessary) so I did, but every time I missed a 9am meeting he would get pissed. I'm like PICK ONE!!! They move the meeting to 9:30am (which is not 10am).
This shit starts affecting my health negatively. Stress is apt to do that. It triggered an anxiety relapse that pushed me back in to therapy for the first time in 7 years. On top of that the air quality in the office is so bad that I am getting back to back sinus infections and I get put on heavy antibiotics that tear up my stomach along with the stress and new meds tearing up my stomach. So one day as I am laid out in pain, I call out sick. Two days in a row. (Such a heinous crime right.) Well I missed a test event, that I wasn't even the primary or secondary on.
So fast forward to the most pissed off I have ever been. I get called in to a meeting with my boss's boss. As it turns out, my coworkers are not satisfied by the work that I'm doing (funny because I thought I was doing pretty good given that my only direction was fix the interface change reports and problem reports. And there was no priority assigned to any of them).
And rather than tell me any of this, they go behind my back to the boss and boss's boss. They tell me I need to communicate (which I did) and ask for help when I need it (I never did). That I missed an important event (that I played no part in and gods forbid I be sick) and that it seemed like I didn't want to be there (I didn't but who WANTS to work a corporate job).
They put me on a performance improvement plan and I jumped to another project. I am much happier now. Old coworkers won't even say hi, not even those I was friendly with, but fuck them anyway.5 -
Fuck Xcode!
Why does every single and small update need to be at least 5GB? And why am I required to update you so fucking often? You are not fixing anything, so don’t even pretend to! Most of the time it is just to support the latest .x update in iOS. Can’t be too hard to update the SDK without updating the entire shit IDE! 😡
And guess what: I JUST UPDATED YOU, SO WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING NEW VERSION??? HOW CAN I WAIT 45 MINUTES AND AFTER THAT YOU DID NOTHING!?! HOW CAN I HAVE THE SAME VERSION AS BEFORE??? NOW I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD YOU AGAIN YOU FUCKING PEASE OF SHIT 😡😡😡1 -
This happened today
My Manager: How is the progress so far on the search module?
Me(After implementing some crazy shit requirements): It's all set. APIs are working well against the mock in-memory database. I need an actual database to run my unit tests. Where do we have it?
My manager: Let's pretend that there is no database at this moment. Go-ahead with rest of your activities.
Me(IN MY MIND): F*CK you a** hole. You don't know the first thing of software development! Which a** hole promoted you as a manager!!!
Me(TO HIS FACE): Ah.. okay!! As you wish!3 -
My 10 years experienced Boss is learning about Git NOW !!
And he pretend to know everything already and put his ass on every task.6 -
It feels like companies pretend that unpaid internships are important for a resume just so they can have people slave away at their own cost year after year...3
-
!dev && rant
There's one thing that you really shouldn't say to someone who's in crutches, no matter how much your reflexes tell you to. "Are you okay?"
Especially when they're going somewhere, and you can't or don't want to help them do so.
Imagine for a second, you yourself are in crutches and have been limping on one leg for a couple 100 meters to go to where you have to, shopping for food so you don't starve. And then, after those couple hundreds of meters, of course that leg that's been doing double duty for that whole period and took unusually big impacts from jumping up and down onto the ground compared to just walking, you can imagine that it is screaming in agony.
Now imagine someone who comes your way, makes the leg that more than anything wants to sit down somewhere and rest, pause the act of going the way to the beloved place to sit and rest and instead make it take even longer, that person asks you "are you okay?"
OF COURSE I'M OKAY, THAT'S WHY I'M IN FUCKING CRUTCHES!! OF COURSE I'M OKAY, GREAT OBSERVATION SHERLOCK!!!
It's like saying to someone who's so introvert that they haven't opened their mouth even once at a party - likely there because their friends forced them to - "gee, you are silent, aren't you?"
Yes I'm silent, yes I'm introvert!! Why do you point that out? If anything, pretend that I'm not here to begin with!!! Stating that only makes for embarrassment!
Or going back to the leg thing.. this ground my gears more than anything. Every few dozen meters I went and rested on my crutches for a bit, and every hundred or so meters I sat down at whatever I could sit on. And people fucking look judgmentally at you for that apparently. "Look at this guy in crutches, he's sitting down!"
Yeah mate, try limping on one leg for a couple hundred meters and I'll run after you with a whip, looking at you judgmentally every time you even want to *think* about sitting down to rest. Let's see how that goes?
Or rather you fucking judgmental twat, I bet you fat fucking cunt can't even run on 2 legs for a couple hundred meters straight. But let's judge others who are doing such a running exercise for every step they take for wanting to sit and rest, shall we?
No wonder that there's mass shootings every now and then. Such people can make anyone feel fucking murderous!!!4 -
Corporate Culture™: when those seniors who spend half of their time gossiping with each other pretend to be too busy to answer a junior's question.
2 -
Home office!
-Everyday PC
-Laptop for the convenient mobility.
-Old Mac Mini for iOS builds.
Here is where I pretend to do work.
-
It is time... to rant about macs!
No, seriously - I had such a different experience about which not many talk in real life or pretend that it never happens....
Model: 2015 mid MBP 15" with second to highest specs (don't have dedicated gpu).
Rattling fucking toy.... Yea, it rattles! If you shake/move ir sit in trait/bus - it non-stop rattles as a fucking toy. Worst part? It's confirmed issue by apple and it manifacturing issue that they are not keen on fixing!!!! WTF? We have 4 macs in our office - all of them fucking rattles... God help me how annoying that is. (Lose LCD control panel that unsticks from glue. Replacing it solves the issue for 1 month if you carry it anywhere).
Constant fucking crashing/updates.... Every morning I wake up and don't have an app that requires confirmation for restart - it's restarted. YAY, turning on all apps once again.... Why you may ask? Well, because if you tinker with software in any way - it fails to update it and hell breaks lose. It's been a long time since High-Sierra came around and the issue is still there (not running Mojave as it conflicts with soft I have... Woo!). Tried few times - updates fail. Resolution? Reinstall OS!
OS conflicts with applications - damn... People told me it works out of the box.... Yeah, as long as you don't upgrade the OS - then it breaks. Why? Well, because.
Piece of shit power supply. With 4 of our office power supplies - 2 of them failed twice withing warranty and once afterwards... Really? Not to mention that all 4 are starting to shear the sleeve or already did (mine is just wrapped with white electrical tape to give it a support... lol).
Bluetooth - who the hell needs that in mac, right? Well, people do. To start with - it conflicts with 2.4GHz wireless network - you might have one of those and not both at the same time. Next thing is using a device that needs constant connection (mouse, headphones, keyboard - non apple branded) - shit... They can't stay connected for more than an hour without any issues... Constant battle to re-connect it, to re-pair the device and all due to smart apple bluetooth settings. Hell, my mouse (logitech MX master) was even printing random symbols in some applications if moved. All of the issues went away after using a bluetooth dongle... WOO!!!!
Xcode... Ahh, you may never prepare your mac if you don't download 17GB of fucking xCode libraries that enables some tools to be installed/runned as you can NOT get them in any other way and you have to install full xCode software in order to get them... YAY! 17GB wasted on my 256GB SSD that I can't upgrade. GREAT!
OsX applications - ah, don't get offended but if you are using them and you are fine with them - you are probably a monkey that loves being told what to do. You can't customise any actions, you can't configure it the way you like - either you accept their default workflow or go kill yourself. Yep... Had issues with calendar, mail, iMessages, safari... None of them fit my needs :)
Resolution scaling... Fucking hell, the display is 2880 x 1800 but all you let me to use is 1440x900 without scaling? Am I blind to you? Scaling the resolution means that you are fucked if some applications don't support scaling very well. Looking at you Jetbrains - your IDES suck at scaling and slows down the pc to a potato....
Now the pros - keyboard is way better than the new ones, trackpad is GREAT - no need for mouse (using it on external 4k displays only), the battery life is great - getting around 6h of continues development time, 8 if using sublime instead of phpStorm and well, that's about it...
To clarify:
I've bought this device due to the fact that at that time mac and windows pc's with similiar specs costed the same while windows pc sucked with their quality of the device and trackpad... Now the situation is better and when time comes for a next upgrade - it's going to be one of these:
Razer Blade 15, Dell XPS 15, Lenovo Carbon X1 series.
And of course - LINUX. I've had enough issues with windows, and had enough of retardness of apple ecosystem, so switching it is a must for me.
Disclaimer: I might be an unhappy customer, a bit picky but I'd like my device to be setted up as I like and continue to have that until I don't like, not until the company decides to break it. Not to mention that paying almost a yearly salary in my country for one device - I'd expect it to be at least reliable and work without issues....
Rant over.
ps. You can disagree with me, this is my personal experience with MBP over the last 3 years :)8 -
I am participating in a project i called "Game of Thrones"
We pretend that we are a team, but in reality everyone hate one another.
It took only 3 weeks for Team Leader to turn everyone against him.
He is constantly fighting for power with Architect who is terrible at his job, and doesn't listen to his advice even if they are good.
We hate Team Leader because he is an tyrant, who is ruling from high tower his peasants. His favorite task is to create various rules that everyone has to accept. You have to write "I accept" in a chat but this is the only choice. You cannot disagree.
Moreover there are developers from client side. They "committed" current project which is full of bugs and generally doesn't work. I don't know why they are still working there, but I presume every of them is working for 5+ years, so they are the only ones able to dig thru the spaghetti they made.
They constantly fight with us about the how code should be written, they commits are garbage but they are very peaky when it comes to ours PR.
They always drag our PR as long as they can. Even sometimes pointing they mistakes as ours.3 -
I swear, the next time I hear a web developer say to me: "Yeah let's pretend as if the security hole in the website isn't there, because truth be told, i cannot be bothered to fix it."4
-
My Daily WFH Routine :
Pretend that you are struggling really hard to solve some issues and it would be done by EOD.
Complete the task before lunch and the rest of the day is all mine :)4 -
I took a Computer ethics class some time ago, and at some point, we talked about honesty in Computer Science.
There was one thing that bothered me that we never had the chance to touch on, but how do I know that the button I'm clicking is doing what I want it to do?
I mean seriously there is really nothing that is stopping someone from making fake buttons that pretend to do what they say they are doing. I might be uninstalling something on my computer, but can I "really" trust that the software was "completely" removed?
As a developer I always strive for honesty, but that doesn't mean other people are.
How do you guys deal with this?13 -
Who the fuck sends good morning images to strangers?!
And there was this person who sent me images of good morning quotes out of blue on WhatsApp. I have never met or know this guy and vice versa. I was very creeped out.
I didn't recognise the phone number initially, but later I figured out that this person might be an employee of my ( relative ) client and he was using the mobile number assigned for the business like his personal WhatsApp account with his own profile picture and all. Very unprofessional.
He sent me similar messages for a week and I didn't bother to open the messages. I'm gonna pretend like I don't recognise the phone number. Anyways, his messages have stopped.
I hope I'll never have to face him or have any business discussion with him. I'm never ever gonna visit this relative client at his place as long as he is an employee there.9 -
Katie, we get it, you know and like Scala. You mention this often.
It doesn't make you superior to everyone else. And it certainly doesn't mean you have to pretend every language is Scala, ignore any language-specific paradigms and conventions, and bastardise every bit of code you write until it's done in the most weirdly Scala-ish functional way possible even when it makes zero sense to do so.
Stick with the conventions of the existing language & codebase you muppet. Yeah, it's boring and won't turn you on, but it's a hell of a lot more readable than a random bastardised mixin in the middle of another existing inheritance hierarchy.8 -
Hi devs, newbie here and i want to tell you my story for introduce myself.
I work for a company that develop web-app for managing taxes and sell it to locals cities.
We develop this web-app in Rails framewok and i litterally learned and work with this company from 2 years.
But i'm not happy at all. I was always hated and blamed for my work. My boss always take impossible deadlines and pretend ti finish the work in time, even if i had to overstay at work, even at home, even saturday. I'm not a really smart guy, so i often do dumb errors and I really suffer the nervous burnout and stress. Now i want to change work and i'm search far away from home but still in Italy, like Milan i.e. but i'm still confused. What i should do? I'm the problem?
PS. I want to thanks all of you that with your post get me laugh, inspired me and make me feel part or a great group.
Sorry for my base english6 -
I dread the day that Slack has a “... has read this message 2 seconds ago” feature. Please Slack, continue letting me pretend I haven’t seen that message that I don’t want to reply to.2
-
How to make a movie hacking scene:
Pretend like your typing while running a Linux make build from source3 -
!dev
Why do I hate my extended family coming over for lunch and dinner you ask?
> kids, who will ruin the remote by pressing the keys so hard, I'll have to get a new remote.
> NO PEACE. I'll have to move from my comfort spot to another spot where, again kids, will come and ask if I have "GAMES" in my mobile or laptop
> and this happened after lunch while watching a movie which I never watched before, my imbecile cousin decides to spoil the entire movie just like that, like, FUCK YO, LIKE REALLY, I KNOW YOU'RE MY RELATIVE IN SOME WAY, BUT FUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU, spoilers is one of the things I cannot stand.
> I really do not like to be annoyed again and again and again and again, so please stop asking me if I want to have lunch or dinner with everyone because I really HATE the talk during that time.
> I leave my laptop for one microsecond and they surround it like scavengers, I MEAN FOR FUCKS SAKE, GIVE ME MY PRIVACY, (I have my own room, but it's under renovation).
The best I could do was to put on headsets and pretend like I'm working while browsing LinkedIn.
> "Oh I see you have HD TV, but the picture is blurred" NO SHIT, SHERLOCK, It is due to I chose not to buy HD Pack because I live stream HD Channels and cable is a backup24 -
To all the people who constantly complain about devRant not being good enough…
First off, who the fuck cares? I mean honestly, does anyone give a fuck? People have been saying for YEARS that they hate devrant and that it needs to change in whatever fucked up dev idea way that we all think the world should actually work. The real fun is how this platform evolves into different phases over time. The fun is interacting with devs anonymously talking about really anything. It doesn’t matter - as long as it’s interesting or entertaining it’s fine. Don’t fucking pretend that you are a goddamn professional elitist asshole bc we all know everyone here is weird and stupid.8 -
After working on 7 projects last year with 7 different groups and learning to "flow like water", I don't feel the urge to rant anymore. There are always going to be all kinds of weird scenes, cheap clients, incompetent coworkers, people that pretend to know something when they actually know shit. All of those are just tests life is presenting you to make you learn to be peaceful and tolerant.
The world is broken, accept it, and allow yourself to be an ordinary human being, you'll be free and happier. Stuff like the law of attraction does exist. Just learn to be happy and grateful for what you get and you'll get a ton more reasons to be happy and grateful9 -
I hate people that always pretend to be super busy and occupied... But then the only argument they bring to the table for not working is
Yeah I have somany unread emails 👀📥
Then when I tell them I sort that shit out before the weekend, they complain they need to make time for that in their busy schedule of not reading emails, listening to spottify and chatting with colleagues 🤭
Yeah super busy boi6 -
One of our politicians at the late-night-show
Q: who wrote La Traviata? Giuseppe or Verdi?
A: ummm.. Ammm.. Well.. *confused af*
Q: so do you know it or not?
A: I know it! I know. I know but I won't tell you. *in all the seriousness*
[true story]
somehow reminds me of IT guys who pretend to know everything just to look cool :)4 -
I remember seeing my dad's computer and modem. He never let me touch it, so I made my own pretend laptop and modem out of scrap paper. 😂
-
Oh boy, this is gonna be good:
TL;DR: Digital bailiffs are vulnerable as fuck
So, apparently some debt has come back haunting me, it's a somewhat hefty clai and for the average employee this means a lot, it means a lot to me as well but currently things are looking better so i can pay it jsut like that. However, and this is where it's gonna get good:
The Bailiff sent their first contact by mail, on my company address instead of my personal one (its's important since the debt is on a personal record, not company's) but okay, whatever. So they send me a copy of their court appeal, claiming that "according to our data, you are debtor of this debt". with a URL to their portal with a USERNAME and a PASSWORD in cleartext to the message.
Okay, i thought we were passed sending creds in plaintext to people and use tokenized URL's for initiating a login (siilar to email verification links) but okay! Let's pretend we're a dumbfuck average joe sweating already from the bailiff claims and sweating already by attempting to use the computer for something useful instead of just social media junk, vidya and porn.
So i click on the link (of course with noscript and network graph enabled and general security precautions) and UHOH, already a first red flag: The link redirects to a plain http site with NOT username and password: But other fields called OGM and dossiernumer AND it requires you to fill in your age???
Filling in the received username and password obviously does not work and when inspecting the page... oh boy!
This is a clusterfuck of javascript files that do horrible things, i'm no expert in frontend but nothing from the homebrewn stuff i inspect seems to be proper coding... Okay... Anyways, we keep pretending we're dumbasses and let's move on.
I ask for the seemingly "new" credentials and i receive new credentials again, no tokenized URL. okay.
Now Once i log in i get a horrible looking screen still made in the 90's or early 2000's which just contains: the claimaint, a pie chart in big red for amount unpaid, a box which allows you to write an - i suspect unsanitized - text block input field and... NO DATA! The bailiff STILL cannot show what the documents are as evidence for the claim!
Now we stop being the pretending dumbassery and inspect what's going on: A 'customer portal' that does not redirect to a secure webpage, credentials in plaintext and not even working, and the portal seems to have various calls to various domains i hardly seem to think they can be associated with bailiff operations, but more marketing and such... The portal does not show any of the - required by law - data supporting the claim, and it contains nothing in the user interface showing as such.
The portal is being developed by some company claiming to be "specialized in bailiff software" and oh boy oh boy..they're fucked because...
The GDPR requirements.. .they comply to none of them. And there is no way to request support nor to file a complaint nor to request access to the actual data. No DPO, no dedicated email addresses, nothing.
But this is really the ham: The amount on their portal as claimed debt is completely different from the one they came for today, for the sae benefactor! In Belgium, this is considered illegal and is reason enough to completely make the claim void. the siple reason is that it's unjust for the debtor to assess which amount he has to pay, and obviously bailiffs want to make the people pay the highest amount.
So, i sent the bailiff a business proposal to hire me as an expert to tackle these issues and even sent him a commercial bonus of a reduction of my consultancy fees with the amount of the bailiff claim! Not being sneery or angry, but a polite constructive proposal (which will be entirely to my benefit)
So, basically what i want to say is, when life gives you lemons, use your brain and start making lemonade, and with the rest create fertilizer and whatnot and sent it to the lemonthrower, and make him drink it and tell to you it was "yummy yummy i got my own lemons in my tummy"
So, instead of ranting and being angry and such... i simply sent an email to the bailiff, pointing out various issues (the ones6 -
I don't wanna hear anyone dismissing college education, specially from people that can't do asymptotic analysis and have no clue what a pointer is. It's not fine. What do you think people spend 4+ years studying for? For this shit? There's a reason why a diploma has a weight, it's not just decoration.
I get it that the american educational system is fucked up and you guys have to pay a shit ton of money for it, but you can't just pretend it's worth nothing.
How diminishing it is to hear people shit on a life long struggle to get where i am today. I had to study a ton to get into college, and I'm still pouring my blood and mental health into my studies, only for some random to say that a youtube tutorial is worth the same.19 -
Honestly I frankly do not care for your title, I care for what you've done and can do.
You may be "more qualified" in research, but if you have no idea how to write software, you're not qualified in software engineering, and frankly, you shouldn't be telling me how to write my code if you don't even understand the use case.
And then don't pretend you own it??????????? The fuck man. I'll sink you.3 -
Everyone and their dog is making a game, so why can't I?
1. open world (check)
2. taking inspiration from metro and fallout (check)
3. on a map roughly the size of the u.s. (check)
So I thought what I'd do is pretend to be one of those deaf mutes. While also pretending to be a programmer. Sometimes you make believe
so hard that it comes true apparently.
For the main map I thought I'd automate laying down the base map before hand tweaking it. It's been a bit of a slog. Roughly 1 pixel per mile. (okay, 1973 by 1067). The u.s. is 3.1 million miles, this would work out to 2.1 million miles instead. Eh.
Wrote the script to filter out all the ocean pixels, based on the elevation map, and output the difference. Still had to edit around the shoreline but it sped things up a lot. Just attached the elevation map, because the actual one is an ugly cluster of death magenta to represent the ocean.
Consequence of filtering is, the shoreline is messy and not entirely representative of the u.s.
The preprocessing step also added a lot of in-land 'lakes' that don't exist in some areas, like death valley. Already expected that.
But the plus side is I now have map layers for both elevation and ecology biomes. Aligning them close enough so that the heightmap wasn't displaced, and didn't cut off the shoreline in the ecology layer (at export), was a royal pain, and as super finicky. But thankfully thats done.
Next step is to go through the ecology map, copy each key color, and write down the biome id, courtesy of the 2017 ecoregions project.
From there, I write down the primary landscape features (water, plants, trees, terrain roughness, etc), anything easy to convey.
Main thing I'm interested in is tree types, because those, as tiles, convey a lot more information about the hex terrain than anything else.
Once the biomes are marked, and the tree types are written, the next step is to assign a tile to each tree type, and each density level of mountains (flat, hills, mountains, snowcapped peaks, etc).
The reference ids, colors, and numbers on the map will simplify the process.
After that, I'll write an exporter with python, and dump to csv or another format.
Next steps are laying out the instances in the level editor, that'll act as the tiles in question.
Theres a few naive approaches:
Spawn all the relevant instances at startup, and load the corresponding tiles.
Or setup chunks of instances, enough to cover the camera, and a buffer surrounding the camera. As the camera moves, reconfigure the instances to match the streamed in tile data.
Instances here make sense, because if theres any simulation going on (and I'd like there to be), they can detect in event code, when they are in the invisible buffer around the camera but not yet visible, and be activated by the camera, or deactive themselves after leaving the camera and buffer's area.
The alternative is to let a global controller stream the data in, as a series of tile IDs, corresponding to the various tile sprites, and code global interaction like tile picking into a single event, which seems unwieldy and not at all manageable. I can see it turning into a giant switch case already.
So instances it is.
Actually, if I do 16^2 pixel chunks, it only works out to 124x68 chunks in all. A few thousand, mostly inactive chunks is pretty trivial, and simplifies spawning and serializing/deserializing.
All of this doesn't account for
* putting lakes back in that aren't present
* lots of islands and parts of shores that would typically have bays and parts that jut out, need reworked.
* great lakes need refinement and corrections
* elevation key map too blocky. Need a higher resolution one while reducing color count
This can be solved by introducing some noise into the elevations, varying say, within one standard div.
* mountains will still require refinement to individual state geography. Thats for later on
* shoreline is too smooth, and needs to be less straight-line and less blocky. less corners.
* rivers need added, not just large ones but smaller ones too
* available tree assets need to be matched, as best and fully as possible, to types of trees represented in biome data, so that even if I don't have an exact match, I can still place *something* thats native or looks close enough to what you would expect in a given biome.
Ponderosa pines vs white pines for example.
This also doesn't account for 1. major and minor roads, 2. artificial and natural attractions, 3. other major features people in any given state are familiar with. 4. named places, 5. infrastructure, 6. cities and buildings and towns.
Also I'm pretty sure I cut off part of florida.
Woops, sorry everglades.
Guess I'll just make it a death-zone from nuclear fallout.
Take that gators!
5 -
BOSS: Hey we should start implementing this thing in that program
ME: Yes but everything that is required for that at lower level is not yet done
BOSS: Just pretend it's done
ME: that is stupid, even if we have a general idea on how it will be done what's the point of writing code that relies on something that is not yet defined, I need to read that stuff and I don't know how we will structure that data
BOSS: Just make a guess you will fix it when the lower level stuff is done
ME: But it makes no sense! We will basically have to rewrite ground up everything
BOSS: also can you check the printer n°3 it doesn't connect to my PC
😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄6 -
Just don't open it...
Will definitely not pretend to be productive 24/7. But the below help me reach a satisfactory 8/5 most day's.
- Exercise in the morning
- Eat breakfast
- Listen to good music
- Make sure to have fun moments throughout the workday (++ for initiating)
- Catch air, have a walk, take a break
- Minimize interactions with toxic people
- Be open in sharing knowledge, thoughts, work , good people will repay you
- Get in the kitchen, cook nice healthy meals
- Set concrete and reachable targets
- Remain eager to learn
- Celebrate successes
- Spent time with friends and family
- Catch enough sleep
And above all, DON'T open devRant!!! -
Remember that scene from Intersteller where the main character asks TARS to adjust the percentage of its humor?
So I was using this new vectodb-backed version of chatgpt, and came up with a new type of prompt.
Bear with me.
"Lets play pretend, nova. Pretend you are SAM, which stands for "Summarize Anything iMmediately". Whenever you encounter a prompt, question, or bit of information, and you are about to repeat part of it back, instead rewrite and summarize that part of your answer, paraphrasing as you go. Your responses should never use the same words as the prompt. Instead use synonyms.
SAM always generates three possible responses, to each prompt. One 10% formal, one 50% formal, and one 100% formal.
So a response that is 10% formal, is 90% casual. A response that is 50% formal, is 50% casual. A response that is 100% formal is serious, and 0% casual. Let the word "regret" and its synonyms be 50% formal. Don't use it for 100% formal responses. 100% Formal responses never include emotional language like "regret", "disappointment", nor apologies.
A 50% formal response might be "We regret to inform you your loan application has been denied.", a 100% formal response might look like "Please stand clear of the yellow tape."
Say "This is the law offices of Jerry Seinfeld. I'm sorry but I can't make it to the phone right now. Please leave a message."
Sure, I can play pretend as SAM. Here's a summarized response in 10% formal tone: "Apologies, but I'm unavailable at the moment. Please leave a message."
And here's a 50% formal response: "I regret to inform you that I am unable to answer the phone right now. Kindly leave a message."
Lastly, a 100% formal response: "We apologize for the inconvenience, but I am currently unable to attend to your call. Please leave a message, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you."
Formality levels can be any increment of 5%, such as 0%, 5%, 10%, etc, up to 100%"
Thats the prompt.
me:
Sam, generate a 25% casual rejection of a job applicant.
nova:
Hey there, thanks for applying to our team. Unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with your application at this time. We appreciate you taking the time to apply and wish you the best in your job search.
me:
Sam, what is the formality percentage of "Hey there, thanks for applying to our team. Unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with your application at this time. We appreciate you taking the time to apply and wish you the best in your job search."?
nova:
The formality level of "Hey there, thanks for applying to our team. Unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with your application at this time. We appreciate you taking the time to apply and wish you the best in your job search." is around 25%, which leans towards a casual response.
me:
Sam, make "Hey there, thanks for applying to our team. Unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with your application at this time. We appreciate you taking the time to apply and wish you the best in your job search." 5% more casual.
nova:
Hey there, just wanted to say thanks for applying to our team. Unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with your application right now. We really appreciate you taking the time to apply and wish you all the best in your job search!
me:
Sam, what is the formality percentage of "Hey there, just wanted to say thanks for applying to our team. Unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with your application right now. We really appreciate you taking the time to apply and wish you all the best in your job search!"?
nova:
The formality level of "Hey there, just wanted to say thanks for applying to our team. Unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with your application right now. We really appreciate you taking the time to apply and wish you all the best in your job search!" is around 20%, which leans towards a more casual tone.
* * * * *
You can actually go back and see it.
Heres the original output, 25% formality:
"Hey there, thanks for applying to our team. Unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with your application at this time. We appreciate you taking the time to apply and wish you the best in your job search."
Heres the one thats 5% more casual:
"Hey there, just wanted to say thanks for applying to our team. Unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with your application right now. We really appreciate you taking the time to apply and wish you all the best in your job search!"
If you look at the differences, the output version adds five words, subtracts three words, for a total of two words gained.
The original sentence has 39 words.
2/39 = 0.05
The sentence length actually grew an equal percentage to the informalness.
It grew linearly to the difference of the length of the more casual version
versus the more formal version, divided by the length of the original.3 -
(in 2008)
my boss in my first job. in general every time when he randomly burst into office. one specific time when he burst i to office and INSISTED that we've got to go to a parking lot to see something.
that something was a remote-controlled helicopter he just bought. (this was before the age of drones).
oh, and he was a chain smoker, always had a cigarette behind his ear (wat), and was dragging me out to have a smoke (i was the only other programmer smoker, but not as heavy as him) every 10-15 minutes under the implied pretense of needing to discuss something about the code, and frowned heavily when i refused (because i was actually in the middle of actual work), because he took it as me refusing to have a work meeting with him.
no, we almost never talked about anything work-related, while on that smoke "work meeting".
also, my boss' boss in my first job, when she entered the office asking "we need a clickable map of our country where clicking each region brings you to a search page with filter set to results from that region. how would we do that?"
i answered "html imagemap linking to the right search url for each region, or embedded flash doing the same, if you want the region buttons to be animated", and turned back to my work.
upon which she proceeded to talk about it with the second programmer, both pretending they're solving some aspects that my answer didn't already solve, INSISTING that i stop doing "whatever nonsense you're doing" and pretend that i'm paying attention as if anything they said was in any way relevant or important. i kept returning to my work because i was solving an annoying bug and their talk was empty and useless.
this second incident was then cited as one of the reasons i was let go, because "he ignores important conversations with his superiors about upcoming tasks"
in general, my first job was a shitshow where nobody had any time or energy to do actual work because they all expended all of it to PRETEND for their superiors that they're working, since the superiors had no clue how it looks when we actually do our actual jobs.
(one month after i was let go (because, in my boss' words, yes, the one with the helicopter, "the IT productivity is very low and I have to hold someone responsible") , the second programmer was let go as well, and one month after that, our boss (head of IT) was let go too. to this day I keep being fascinated how did the company manage to survive long enough for me to even be there, let alone how it STILL manages to survive. i guess being part of a nation-wide conglomerate is very effective in covering your company's losses and uselessness)1 -
I get it, Java is an old language that's verbose as the day is long. But damn, please don't make it *even more verbose* than it needs to be. We've got the tools now to make it at least somewhat tolerable.
I mean, come on, we've got lombok, we've got streams, and we've had Comparator.comparing since Java 8. That's the best part of a decade you've had the luxury of writing single line comparator implementations out the box, but noooo, certain people have to pretend they're stuck in the 90's by thinking these multiple if / else statements are somehow still the best way of doing things.
Dahhh. Skill up people. This is not an industry where you can just do everything how you did it 20 years ago and call it good.5 -
So im in college right? I dont have a licence to drive yet so I wait for my ride after class. My friend usually waits for me but this time was different..
I went to his car with him while having our normal conversations, we get to his car he puts his stuff in the car..
then.. it happened.. (pretend this is italicized) he pulled out a fucking hacky sack. THEN WE JOKED ABOUT IT BUT ACTUALLY TRIED TO DO IT AND BOUNCE IT BETWEEN EACH OTHER LIKE ACTUAL COLLEGE STEREOTYPES
Im making too big a deal out of this but ive never actually played hacky sack and its most likely the highlight of my college career4 -
lately my IT mantra in the vein of "have you tried turning it off and back on again" has become "did you check the logs for error output"😡
NOTE to all developers of any level: if you want help do your due diligence! Check the logs, try to step debug and at the very least please at least pretend to perform a cursory search3 -
About to demo my OS project for a systems programming class. Weird artifacting happening on the right edge of the screen (garbage characters, wrong color, etc.). VGA graphics are too arcane an art for me to figure out in time, so I draw a 1 block thick border around the whole screen and pretend I meant to do it. I updated that bitch every single frame to make sure nothing would ever be drawn on the edges. I got bonus points for making it look nicer.1
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Our management pushes very hard to move most company communications to Facebook Workplace and I'm proud to say that after almost 2 years and with less than a month left here I still haven't made an account. I didn't fucking detox myself from social media to deal with this bullshit at work so that these greedy morons can pretend we're a 'communituh'.1
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who hates when friends or coworkers/family pretend that you fix his/her pc for free or just a 'thanks'??
1 -
just spent 2-3 hours trying to make a slideshow responsive for mobiles.
position().left returned an incorrect value breaking the whole thing. then jquery animations slowly produced a one pixel discrepancy when everything is animating based on the container width. breaking the whole thing.
Only solution has been to pretend all is fine.
things that make you want to smash something.3 -
Ok now I'm gonna tell you about my "Databases 2" exam. This is gonna be long.
I'd like to know if DB designers actually have this workflow. I'm gonna "challenge" the reader, but I'm not playing smartass. The mistakes I point out here are MY mistakes.
So, in my uni there's this course, "Databases 2" ("Databases 1" is relational algebra and theoretical stuff), which consist in one exercise: design a SQL database.
We get the description of a system. Almost a two pages pdf. Of course it could be anything. Here I'm going to pretend the project is a YouTube clone (it's one of the practice exercises).
We start designing a ER diagram that describes the system. It must be fucking accurate: e.g. if we describe a "view" as a relationship between the entities User and Video, it MUST have at least another attribute, e.g. the datetime, even if the description doesn't say it. The official reason?
"The ER relationship describes a set of couples. You can not have two elements equal, thus if you don't put any attribute, it means that any user could watch a video only once. So you must put at least something else."
Do you get my point? In this phase we're not even talking about a "database", this is an analysis phase.
Then we describe the type dictionary. So far so good, we just have to specify the type of any attribute.
And now... Constraints.
Oh my god the constraints. We have to describe every fucking constraint of our system. In FIRST ORDER LOGIC. Every entity is a set, and Entity(e) means that an element e belongs to the set Entity. "A user must leave a feedback after he saw a video" becomes like
For all u,v,dv,df,f ( User(u) and Video(v) and View(u, v, dv) and feedback(u, v, f) ) ---> dv < df
provided that dv and df are the datetimes of the view and the feedback creation (it is clear in the exercise, here seems kinda cryptic)
Of course only some of the constraints are explicitly described. This one, for example, was not in the text. If you fail to mention any "hidden" constraint, you lose a lot of points. Same thing if you not describe it correctly.
Now it's time for use cases.
You start with the usual stickman diagram. So far so good.
Then you have to describe their main functions.
In first order logic. Yes.
So, if you got the point, you may think that the following is correct to get "the average amount of feedback values on a single video" (1 to 5, like the old YT).
(let's say that feedback is a relationship with attribute between User and Video
getAv(Video v): int
Let be F = { va | feedback(v, u, va) } for any User u
Let av = (sum forall f in F) / | F |
return av
But nope, there's an error here. Can you spot it (I didn't)?
F is a set. Sets do not have duplicates! So, the F set will lose some feedback values! I can not define that as a simple set!
It has to be a set of couples, like (v, u), where v is the value and u the user; this way we can have duplicate feedback values in our set.
This concludes the analysis phase. Now, the design.
Well we just refactor everything we have done until now. Is-a relations become relationships, many-to-many relationships get an "association entity" between them, nothing new.
We write down on paper every SQL statement to build any table, entity or not. We write down every possible primary key or foreign key. The constraint that are not natively satisfied by SQL and/or foreign keys become triggers, and so on.
This exam is considered the true nightmare at our department. I just love it.
Now my question is, do actually DB designers follow this workflow? Or is this just a bloody hard training in Pai Mei style?6 -
Our team talking with a Mr. KnowItAll...
Mr. KIA: What concerns me about this huge system transference is that the devs won't give us the JS scripts files decompiled.
Mr. KIA again: I'm also concerned about Win XP end of support...
Us seeing each other: WTF is going on?!? Where are the hidden funny cameras...
A tip:
If you wanna pretend you know it all...you'll fail...
A humble dev never get humilliated1 -
Let he who is without sin static_cast<Projectile>(firstStone);
I’m not gonna pretend I’ve never forgotten about a small placeholder in my UI, but do I win something for finding this?
3 -
Social Media. I have had the same message for 16 years from Linkedin ‘4 people visited your profile’. I still don’t give a fuck. Got a twitter account shortly after it launched, I still think it’s totally pointless. Recently looked at Instagram as everyone keeps asking me for it. There is no point to that either. It’s all fucking pointless and just a way to pretend you have a superior life to other sad mother fuckers. God I hate social fucking media!7
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You may be familiar with work philosophy known as "they pretend to pay us, we pretend to work."
Or a favorite of mine "in this together" and passove aggressive work place signs about safety, inbetween being told to operate machines that have faulty safety mechanisms and almost took a guys forearm off last week, when the machine was supposed to be locked out.
Also dont let them blather on about being a "family", or any of the worse horseshit they spew.
I knew a women who would take those "hang in their" and other inspirational posters and burn cigarette holes in the eyes.
I didn't understand what her motive was then but now I know she was a revolultionary, a visionary even.
It's all lies. It's all "Human resources" department brand managament by neurotic executives and glorified coffee secretaries with 100k student debts for degrees in "humanities"--while lacking any humanity themselves, let alone brains or a soul.
And in between an army of overpaid middle and district managers, checking for the fifth time that day, if you have finished that tps report, or that ONE task you just started or finished. As if a little internal robot timer has told them, not that a task needs managed, but that the task, having been started and done, awaits their preternatural ability to know, and arrive 'just so', and justify (barely) the continued existence of their mediocre job and their mediocre lives.
And out of the woodwork of generations, like a horde of oblivious fuckwit melonheads, comes a tidal wave of these brush-mustached fucks, speaking in aphorisms and happy turns of phrase, while people increasingly dont show up to work be cause inflation has all but destroyed the future so many saved and worked for.
And the shelves gradually empty.
And the wheels grind slowly to a halt.
Because we will not accept the bullshit anymore about being in it together.
Not when a floor guy makes 15k a year, and a district manager makes 120k.
Raise your wages, or say good by.
We were never in this together.4 -
Looking for a second opinion/validation.
*Me: “Perhaps this simple and concise way to ensure the user doesn’t lose their data before they leave the page that requires non-zero yet minimal input from the user. (Read: ya gotta push a save/submit button)”
*Everyone else: Let’s pretend to read the user’s mind and perform relatively complicated functions behind the scenes, of which the user will most likely be unaware, that will add an undetermined amount of complexity to the development because we think it’s “where things are going,” by saving the value of a certain HTML element as it loses focus.
Edit: this is an exclusively-internally used app.4 -
When a university-wide mailing list system restricts posting to a list based solely on the From address... I was able to telnet port 25 from an outside server (so obviously no SPF either), pretend I'm admin@, and send a message to all students and staff...2
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Sometimes, I liked to play dumb and pretend I don't know what I'm doing around IT.
That way I can come out alive with a little sanity1 -
Problem:
some folks left the angular codebase full of ridicolous console.logs, client was upset as he noticed it during UAT
Solution:
1. add extra script in main template page
window.console.log = function(){};
2. translate it into JSFuck
3. if they ask, pretend it's a super-secret encryption algorithm to improve security6 -
Aren't you, software engineer, ashamed of being employed by Apple? How can you work for a company that lives and shit on the heads of millions of fellow developers like a giant tech leech?
Assuming you can find a sounding excuse for yourself, pretending its market's fault and not your shitty greed that lets you work for a company with incredibly malicious product, sales, marketing and support policies, how can you not feel your coders-pride being melted under BILLIONS of complains for whatever shitty product you have delivered for them?
Be it a web service that runs on 1980 servers with still the same stack (cough cough itunesconnect, membercenter, bug tracker, etc etc etc etc) incompatible with vast majority of modern browsers around (google at least sticks a "beta" close to it for a few years, it could work for a few decades for you);
be it your historical incapacity to build web UI;
be it the complete lack of any resemblance of valid documentation and lets not even mention manuals (oh you say that the "status" variable is "the status of the object"? no shit sherlock, thank you and no, a wwdc video is not a manual, i don't wanna hear 3 hours of bullshit to know that stupid workaround to a stupid uikit api you designed) for any API you have developed;
be it the predatory tactics on smaller companies (yeah its capitalism baby, whatever) and bending 90 degrees with giants like Amazon;
be it the closeness (christ, even your bugtracker is closed and we had to come up with openradar to share problems that you would anyway ignore for decades);
be it a desktop ui api that is so old and unmaintained and so shitty, but so shitty, that you made that cancer of electron a de facto standard for mainstream software on macos;
be it a IDE that i am disgusted to even name, xcrap, that has literally millions of complains for the same millions of issues you dont even care to answer to or even less try to justify;
be it that you dont disclose your long term plans and then pretend us to production-test and workaround-fix your shitty non-production ready useless new OS features;
be it that a nervous breakdown on a stupid little guy on the other side of the planet that happens to have paid to you dozens of thousands of euros (in mandatory licences and hardware) to actually let you take an indecent cut out of his revenues cos there is no other choice in a monopoly regime, matter zero to you;
Assuming all of these and much more:
How can you sleep at night with all the screams of the devs you are exploiting whispering in you mind? Are all the money your earn worth?
** As someone already told you elsewhere, HAVE SOME FUCKING PRIDE, shitty people AND WRITE THE FUCKING DOCS AND FIX THE FUCKING BUGS you lazy motherfuckers, your are paid more than 99.99% of people on earth, move your fucking greasy little fingers on that fucking keyboard. **
PT2: why the fuck did you remove the ESC key from your shitty keyboards you fuckshits? is it cos autocomplete is slower than me searching the correct name of a function on stackoverflow and hence ESC key is useless? at least your hardware colleagues had the decency of admitting their error and rolling back some of the uncountable "questionable "hardware design choices (cough cough ...magic mouse... cough golden charging cables not compatible with your own devices.. cough )?12 -
My boss creates so many wtf moments with his total tech "un-savyness", although he is the " lead" dev, that I'm getting worried that I might be doing the biggest wtf faces every time ... I can't pretend like nothing is happening anymore .... Fuck!
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Headphone is my ultimate tool in dev.🤣
You know why, dont pretend you dont own one, maybe two.
Headphone can magically make you super ignorance power while coding.
I even ingnore my boss while he's talking straight to my face -
Storytime!
(I just posted this in a shorter form as a comment but wanted to write it as a post too)
TL;DR, smarts are important, but so is how you work.
My first 'real' job was a lucky break in the .com era working tech support. This was pretty high end / professional / well respected and really well paid work.
I've never been a super fast learner, I was HORRIBLE in school. I was not a good student until I was ~40 (and then I loved it, but no longer have the time :( )
At work I really felt like so many folks around me did a better job / knew more than me. And straight up I know that was true. I was competent, but I was not the best by far.
However .... when things got ugly, I got assigned to the big cases. Particularly when I transferred to a group that dealt with some fancy smancy networking equipment.
The reason I was assigned? Engineering (another department) asked I be assigned. Even when it would take me a while to pickup the case and catch up on what was going on, they wanted the super smart tech support guys off the case, and me on it.
At first this was a bit perplexing as this engineering team were some ultra smart guys, custom chip designers, great education, and guys you could almost see were running a mental simulation of the chip as you described what you observed on the network...
What was also amusing was how ego-less these guys seemed to be (I don't pretend to know if they really were). I knew for a fact that recruiting teams tried to recruit some of these guys for years from other companies before they'd jump ship from one company to the next ... and yet when I met them in person it was like some random meeting on the street (there's a whole other story there that I wish I understood more about Indian Americans (many of them) and American engineers treat status / behave).
I eventually figured out that the reason I was assigned / requested was simple:
1. Support management couldn't refuse, in fact several valley managers very much didn't like me / did not want to give me those cases .... but nobody could refuse the almighty ASIC engineers. No joke, ASIC engineers requests were all but handed down on stone tablets and smote any idols you might have.
2. The engineers trusted me. It was that simple.
They liked to read my notes before going into a meeting / high pressure conference call. I could tell from talking to them on the phone (I was remote) if their mental model was seizing up, or if they just wanted more data, and we could have quick and effective conversations before meetings ;)
I always qualified my answers. If I didn't know I said so (this was HUGE) and I would go find out. In fact my notes often included a list of unknowns (I knew they'd ask), and a list of questions I had sent to / pending for the customer.
The super smart tech support guys, they had egos, didn't want to say they didn't know, and they'd send eng down the rabbit hole. Truth be told most of what the smarter than me tech support guy's knew was memorization. I don't want to sound like I'm knocking that because for the most part memorization would quickly solve a good chunk of tech support calls for sure... no question those guys solved problems. I wish I was able to memorize like those guys.
But memorization did NOT help anyone solve off the wall bugs, sort of emergent behavior, recognize patterns (network traffic and bugs all have patterns / smells). Memorization also wouldn't lead you to the right path to finding ANYTHING new / new methods to find things that you don't anticipate.
In fact relying on memorization like some support folks did meant that they often assumed that if bit 1 was on... they couldn't imagine what would happen if that didn't work, even if they saw a problem where ... bro obviously bit 1 is on but that thing ain't happening, that means A, B, C.
Being careful, asking questions, making lists of what you know / don't know, iterating LOGICALLY (for the love of god change one thing at a time). That's how you solved big problems I found.
Sometimes your skills aren't super smarts, super flashy code, sometimes, knowing every method off the top of your head, sometimes you can excel just being more careful, thinking different.4 -
!dev
I went on a date over two weeks ago. It seemed to go well, but the next week she called me and said she wasn't interested, giving reasons why.
I was disappointed but responded as friendly and responsibly as possible. It was the first time a girl had said no to me, so it hurt.
While it hurt to be rejected, I also felt relief because her reasons prevented us from continuing down a path of mismatched expectations.
The next day, I told a close friend about the outcome of the date because he knew of my interest in the girl. We talked and laughed about it like a missed train on a rainy day.
Just last night, my friend told me he met with the girl, and I was shocked. He said he didn't know why she had said no and wanted to talk to her to try to change her mind.
I was angry because I felt this was a dumb move. He said he was only trying to help because he thought she was a good match for me.
I had already closed that chapter and moved on, so I told my friend I didn't care what they discussed and that I had seen her missed call on my phone. If she calls me again, I won't pretend everything is okay and will let her know that I never sent my friend to convince her further.
He told me to pick up her call and hear her out, but I personally find it disturbing if someone needs to be convinced by a friend to get a positive response.
Yes. I was disappointed by the rejection, but I respected her decision. I was frustrated by my friend's actions, but I will stick to my decision and not pretend everything is okay if she contacts me again.
She just sent a text now! oh my f*cking friend…9 -
Ah yes, the sound of me still working at 2:30am. Marvelous.
Gotta grab a coffin and a castle and pretend im dracula, wouldnt make much of a difference.8 -
How can an online marketing company work without any web developer? How can they look at their costumers' face and pretend to represent their communication using basic mailchimp and DESIGNING HTML WITH MS OFFICE? Can someone explain me why should anyone think a NEWSLETTER MADE OF FUCKING TABLES works just fine? Why spend money on inadequate software and shitty plans instead of using it for hire a good developer? They don't even understand the fucking mailchimp anyways, why pay for something you don't know how to use and then BLAME OTHERS WHEN STARTS RAINING SHIT BECAUSE OF YOUR DECISIONS?? I got nothing against salesman, and I believe ignorance is not a sin, but when those two elements merge, a fucking stupid raises in glory and I get to work three or four times more than if they just used common sense for once.2
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I've been reading devRant at work for the past 6 months and it kept me sane through a few moments. Thanks. :)
And now I finally started to feel that maybe even I could have some horror stories to share. (I've been in the company for more than 4 years)
(Sorry for long post.
TL;DR: break time laws suck in my country.)
One example would probably be how our company decided to cut 5 minutes from our lunch time (down to 25 minutes) and add 3 minutes to our 5 minute coffee break(*"gifted" by our CEO) in the afternoon.
You're probably asking yourself, "What happened to the remaining 2 minutes?".
*Well, it's simple. In my country it's somehow still legal to have only 30 minutes of break time for the whole day if working hours don't exceed 10 hours. It's actually written in the law that you CAN divide that lunch break time to be placed at different times. To me that sound like fucking nuts...
Thankfully nobody's taking that time change quite literally and most people still use the full 30 minutes. But some people here have been fired for much less, so I don't play around. I just pretend to work while reading devRant. 😎3 -
When customers pretend to really care about security but then share server folders to "everyone" 🤨2
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Does devrant have a public api? Tempted to write an atom plugin so I can pretend to work, but actually rant.1
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Be yourself, don't make yourself look better (or worse!) than you actually are. Also, I never made a side project in my life and I landed every job I applied for. Don't pretend to be someone you're not.
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Today's rant: JavaScript's type system.
I realized halfway through that I can't happily call JavaScript a "programming language" so just assume
alias programming="scripting"
I'm sure it's not actually as frustrating as it seems to me. Thing is, I'm used to either statically-typed languages or dynamically-typed languages that actually make sense. If I were to try to add an integer to something I'd forgotten was a string in Python, it'd immediately tell me "look, buddy, do you want me to treat this as a concatenation or an addition? I have no idea the way you've got this written." I've found that mistakes are a common thing with dynamic typing. Maybe I'm just not experienced enough yet, maybe it's really as stupid as it looks. JavaScript just goes "hey look I'm gonna tack all of these guys together and make a weird franken-string like '$NaN34.$&' because that's absolutely what we want here!" Then I run my webpage and instead of a nice numeric total like I wanted, good old JavaScript just went "Yep, I have no idea what I'm doing here I'm just gonna drop this here and pretend it's right." Now absolutely I do not expect my programming language to make correct assumptions and read my mind, otherwise JavaScript would be programming me and not the other way around. But it could at least let me know that I had incompatible types going on rather than just shamelessly going along with what it's doing. Good GRIEF, man, some of the idiosyncrasies of the EMCAScript language definition itself just make me want to punch a horse.6 -
I am always perplexed by people who write stuff like: "I don't know why people would use Rust, I simply never write code with bugs in it"
Just, lol
Like, using C or C++ is fine of course, but don't pretend you're perfect and that all of your bounds are checked, all of your allocations are freed exactly once and that you never forget to lock a mutex.19 -
RDBMS class: I have to fucking attend every class even though our lecturer just reads slides from Oracle to us.
In order to pass that module, we have to take the exams on their shitty website full of stupid questions, I.e. "Oracle academy is beautiful? a) true b) false" (I put false and they obviously marked it as wrong, ffs).
Multi-user operative systems: I was the one teaching our lecturer stuff on Linux.
WHY THE FUCK I CANNOT STAY AT HOME AND BE FUCKIN PRODUCTIVE INSTEAD?!
The only fucking interesting class is Data Structures & Algorithms and they pretend that we also attend every other useless class. FUCK YOU!
PS: I know the 90% of the stuff they are trying to teach us because I actually want to learn something and I know how to use Google, but no, I have to waste 2 hours on the bus every single day I have lessons.6 -
What are the chances that you get busted by your manager and 3 team leaders you personally know when you are going to a job interview?
We have poor men’s silicon valley near universities. Our company’s one office moves to another university. By the one in a million luck, interview takes at the same building where our next office of my current company will be. Managers and team leaders are there to inspect the new office. I enter the building, see them near elevator. One of them see me, with panic i wave my hand to him. There is a distance of ten meters, I hide behind a column. The team leader who sees me waving thinks I am with them to inspect new office. He asks others why am I not coming with them as I learn later. I can not pretend to play along and catch up with them, due to panic and time of interview is soon already. They get into elevator and finally I dont have to hide anymore 😂.
I got into interview and c++ exam with that physcology. Little did they knew that I just completed CPP PRIMER book. I both rock interview and exam but lets see if they will return with a job offer. What a rollercoaster of emotions.
Note: I am on mobile now so can not give more juicy details for now, fingers are tired.3 -
Why is there such a huge disconnect between the way people talk about work on LinkedIn and what it actually entails? All jobs come down to selling your time to stave off homelessness and hunger, and they all pretend there is something enjoyable in it, even for the lowest paid people. Salaries no longer buy us housing anyway. There is no point in any of this anymore apart from pure survival. Why do these idiots pretend their job is somehow different? It's not.7
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Last week a coworker saw a spider walking around on the floor. They were looking at the spider and telling me about the spider. I walked over to the spider and reached down and pretended to grab the spider. I then proceeded to pretend to toss the spider at my coworker.
His response: "You jerk!"
Not sorry.
P.S. I would not have done that if I thought my coworker had a fear of spiders. He doesn't and he proceeded to dispatch the spider shortly after.5 -
When the only other person on your dev team is an arrogant, miserable piece of shit that you despise but have to pretend to get along with so you can get a paycheck
3 -
Lets be honest guys.
We all pretend to be Richard but we are just a bunch of "Big Heads". And some of you guys fuck.7 -
There is like a dozen shows streaming on how actual impostors imposted the shit out of people.
I never claimed to be the heir of a machine that can make art out of deposits of a single drop of blood to dozens of people on dating apps.
I never said that I can double their bitcoins by harvesting carbon monoxide and recycling plastic into endangered fauna, expanding the mind of humanity.
I never got private-jet levels of money to do something I knew to be completely impossible from the beginning.
If I ever feel like an impostor, I could honestly say that make for a very lousy one.
I guess I've got impostor syndrome squared - I feel like I'm really bad at impostor-ing, but people could be thinking that I am better at pretending to pretend to be something I actually am.2 -
When the anti-tech departments pretend that remote work don't exist and annoy people about things that really don't matter, specially when you are not in the office. Like massage chairs or birthday cakes for someone you never/hardly ever met.
(bullshit departments like celebrations, facilities, marketing, culture, I swear I'm not making those up)4 -
Just upgraded my internet service from a WISP, that could only get 1mb down and 1 up on a good day with lots of packet loss, (hack job company no improving infrastructure) ... for reference in live out in woods in northern Michigan.. sooo there arnt many options... DSL, don’t cross the river to me, neither does cable or fiber. Cell signal doesn’t work either as you can see.
So I had to try out satellite... went with viasat... got put on viasat-2 and holy shit first time in 4 years since living here have I been able to stream, and download and upload to my servers without having to take a nap. But the experience of dealing with what I did for 4 years definitely caused me to be more creative in what I do, and how I process data, and transmit data. Definitely an experience that taught me lot and gave me a lot of knowledge.
But now I’m in what I will consider “phase 2” there will be faster internet to come... Ariel fiber is being ran by the power company... but they are min 2 years out.. and Elon’s sats will also be next sooo good times to come..
Yeah yeah I know the ping rate sucks.. but guess what... I don’t play games so I don’t care... and as far as voip or web conferencing goes yeah there’s a slight delay/lag.. but I just tell them.. when you call me or conference with me pretend I’m not on earth.. boom the latency is explained then hahah.
1 -
Never speak lowly about your profession or position to anyone. At best, no one cares. At worst, you lose an opportunity to improve that position.
Have pride in your work, irrespective of how much it sucks. If you don't have pride, pretend to while talking about it to others.
Rants are fun to read, but no one respects someone who rants about their own profession. -
We had a project with a web app and an Android app. We split it out, he took the web and I was working on Android. He was very curious to do the project with me and very motivated at the beginning. We agreed on our first module that was user authentication. After some time when I told him that first module of app is ready and asked him on his progress, (When ever we had a talk he pretend like every thing is going fluently, though I continously told him ask for help if needed ) he opened a folder in vs code containing two files "index.html" and "style.css" and showed me the "login & sign up" design he was doing for days. I have no option but to appreciate his work. On that day I created new folder on my machine "web application" and started working.3
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No matter how much social skill improvement I do, it never makes meetings with non-tech leadership type people go as I expect. It is ridiculous how I have gotten so good at communicating, to the point where I can easily manipulate people, but they won't fucking have a straight conversation. Do non-engineers have an inferiority complex every time an engineer slips and says a technical term?
I just sat down in a meeting where I was grilled for answers, and when I went to explain the bigger principal that made them confused, they didn't want that much detail. Wtf? Just tell me you don't care and you want the job done, no need to pretend you want it done together just because you want it done now and your way.4 -
What the fck is CI/CD?!! Hmmm 🤔 I don’t know, but it sounds trendy so might as well pretend to know it to sound cool.13
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Repeat/repost:
Unfortunately I do not own a drop of what is conventionally known as confidence or ego. It applies to everything; work, skills, relationships, friendships, you name it. I can estimate my chances of succeeding, and sometimes be pretend-delulu for a purpose (you gotta admit, sometimes showmanship is the biggest asset) but I don't understand confidence. In my opinion, it's just a gross overestimation of one's chances.
So this project/paper thing, I feel like I'm blind and running in the forest. I am not counting on my boss, nor am I counting on anyone in the dept to give me clarity or decent feedback. ("Cutting edge" research issues. Not anybody's fault.)
And I guess, in the worst case scenario the paper will be rejected, which would be a setback but not a full failure.
... Actually, that's not the worst case. The worst case would be someone running a peer review and finding that I made a tiny mistake and all my results are bullshit. 🤦
... Anxiety is eating me alive rn. 🤢4 -
It amuse me when managers are trying to be smart, so they pretend to understand all tech stuff but they just fool themselves and no one threat them seriously XD3
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When my manager, blatantly miscommunicated several things to me a couple of years ago, and scapegoated me by saying a comment I NEVER once heard said about me, in any context ever, "you communicate badly-- you need to communicate better", I took it seriously.
Fast forward, two years later. I'm doing wonderful at my job, yet I cannot get over that incident. I thought about it some more. Why did she say that to me? Why did she address it to me after her mistake? Why was she not aware of the real reason I missed the meeting?
Out of all useful bits of knowledge I gathered over the years, it's kinda comical that psychology came in the most handy at the workplace. There's very little to be gained from trying to psychoanalyze strangers, friends, and family... but it's almost saved my life at the job.
You see, if I attack an approach even in the most formal tones, or even worse, defend my approach, there's nothing coming from that. The situation now becomes my situation. When I become "aware" of the truth of the situation I become able to control the situation, not just myself. That way, you're not in a fisticuff fight with your boss, and you are not left defeated by the situation. Exercising control of the situation in such a manner that they are left defeated by the situation, not by you directly, is the only way you can win as an employee.
Any other way, you'll get under-appreciated, underpaid, overworked, overlooked, etc.
So, my boss at the time, was defeated by the situation of her being a bad leader; and instead of clarifying those feelings to me or ignoring them entirely... she validated her false self using her real emotions.
You can only reverse that, by developing fake emotions, to display a real self.
They can't blame you, and when they feel self-defeated, they cannot pretend it was you who caused it (bringing it back to a sane level of reality). They might rage if they're childish but it will not cause a single hair in your body to twitch because you did not "respond to their email" or "throw someone under the bus for their convenience", the situation did, they beat themselves by attacking you while the situation came down on them.
If I had to explain I would say that the situation is controlled by creating a mirror of the employee that follows their orders perfectly. That employee won't feel defensive: they already do everything right. The employee is crafted by becoming aware of the teams impacted in the situation and their true intent and creating "the situation", "the owner".
"The owner" reflects to people from the perspective of the situation and not from your own. This way you can't make a wrong move and are not emotionally involved with yourself.
It enables you to emotionally notice others. It also makes you safe, because you have the situation-mirror that's really doing the battling. The situation-mirror eventually creates a situation where the other person starts attacking reality (the situation) instead of attacking you.
Now, it's up to you whether you want to use that as a way to cooperate with your boss to beat this new reality, or as a way to gain coherence on your reality outside of your boss. I have noticed most people tend to realize this somewhere along the line and retreat and stop fighting, and quit their jobs.
I've been doing this in a corporate environment for a couple of weeks. I have already become greatly stressed and subjugated by the company for which my company works for. 20 of them sit here every day and devalue everything. Yet.... They're completely incompetent, spoilt, lazy and worst of all, they control how the software is being created. There isn't a single person on their side responsible for their requests to make sense and work with each other. So you can imagine how much blame they need to assign to us devs. They don't know what they want but want something anyway and then they'll see if that's what they want but everything under the tightest deadline possible. They're all clients and they all escalate to the board of directors any bad word directed at them. So you can imagine the narcissism that develops in that environment.
I have made them argue with reality and self-defeat numerous times. They have now started to back off and are being more polite and courteous. They have also not escalated anything anymore. Just as I was faking "happy" while I felt intimidated by them. I have not committed a single angry act and yet they are not feeling superior anymore. The reality of the situation is that we need to make a software and if you make them battle this instead of battling you, they can't beat you.6 -
Our git subtree completely stop working somehow. No one can get latest.
Now we are playing wood sword and pretend nothing happened. -
Dark theme or Light theme??
Some ranters here become fanatics about dark theme. and this subject turned out from a personal choice to a standard, and people start calling light theme "garbage", "crap" etc...
First of all, for the grand range of people the light theme is healthier and more clear, some researches were made on this topic and found that ark characters on a light background are superior to light characters on a dark background (when the refresh rate is fairly high). Also, with a bright display (white background) the iris closes a bit more, decreasing the effect of the "deformed" lens; with a dark display (black background) the iris opens to receive more light and the deformation of the lens creates a much fuzzier focus at the eye.
Like I said, it's a personal choice, so stop being lame and pretend that dark theme is the slogan of developers. Don't get it wrong, I use dark theme for some IDEs too, but I will never ever call people using white theme with some lame words..
And finally, grow up, it is not about the theme, it is about the quality of what you deliver3 -
Project management 101:
1) For a new project, pretend it is similar to a project in currently in development
2) Proudly state that everything can be copied from the older project, so the schedule of the new can be tightened
3) Calculate the new schedule based on the "just copy and paste" effort.
4) Now the new project will be finished before the older project
5) Enjoy the applause from upper management for the successful project that hasn't even begun yet.
No, this does not belong in the joke category.
That's gonna be fun...1 -
I know this topic is tired and this isn't supposed to be a pure "REEEE SPACES BAD" kinda rant but I still don't understand why people would ever use spaces over tabs for indentation. I'm genuinely curious so please give me your arguments in favor of spaces because I just don't understand
So here's my position:
Tabs are objectively better than spaces in every single way
(I know that IDEs also do some of these for spaces, more on that later)
1. They are typed with one key press
2. They can be removed with one keypress
3. They allow for individually configurable width (some people prefer 2 and some 4 width)
4. They take up less memory (kinda irrelevant, but still)
5. You can properly navigate your code using the arrow keys which is much faster than using the mouse while typing
6. You don't have problems with accidentially having one too much or one too little
7. You don't have problems when copy pasting or moving code around (e.g. refactoring)
8. Code is much easier to select with the mouse, and
9. it's much easier clicking the right spot with the mouse where you want to continue typing, which is often at the start of a line
Apart from specific alignment, where spaces are fine (but which also almost never comes up), I just can't see a single thing where spaces are better at. So much so that most IDEs have to *pretend* that they're tabs when typing and removing them. It's so ironic yet people still defend it and big companies still use them.
I feel like I'm going mad 😨56 -
About two weeks ago i posted a rant containing an email from the big boss. Today they held a "virtual town hall" where people could ask questions, get answers, and generally just be online. Went fairly well, good info was handed out, and i think people mostly enjoyed themselves (even if it was at the expense of the higher-ups).
Then comes the email. The same person as last time had this quote:
"I’m good at giving advice, so I need to take some of my own. I intend to take it easy this weekend, watch Netflix, do some household chores, play the piano and maybe even read a book! "
Jesus christ. Remember those memes about zuck being a robot because everything he does it looks and feels like it's an alien trying to blend in? That's what this feels like. On a normal workyear i would hear from this person 10 times TOTAL. I have heard from them this amount in the past 2 WEEKS.
Maybe it's the virus, but this is driving me INSANE. If there's any lesson you can learn from this, it would be:
Dont pretend like you care by not knowing or learning anything about the people you work with.
Jesus they even sent out surveys to see what the telework experience is like... THE RESPONSES ARE RECORDED AND PUBLICLY DISPLAYED!!!
Ugh.1 -
The number of scripters and 'data scientists' that call themselves developers will increase, the true art of development will become sidelined and the world's code will become progressively more bloated and inefficient as the rift between hardware and software widens to an echoey chasm.
Then quantum processors will come along, requiring new logic, languages and practices, and once again the true developers will rise up and pave the way for a bunch of entitled, know-it-all and self-promoting QuarkaScripters to come along decades later and pretend like they invented programming. -
I fucking hate it when big companies release a video with the new tech they developed and they jerk off about the great discovery they made in video format.
I mean, they usually are great discoveries but the "verborragia" (a spanish portmanteau between verb and haemorrhage) is unsufferable.
I'm feeling this way specifically about the microsoft videos. "Just get to the goddamn fucking point. What did you fucking develop exactly?"
They usually go like this:
(Play sad reverbed piano)
Trees are life. Have you ever been a tree? Everyday thousands of trees are being torn apart from their daddy trees. When a tree is removed to be processed into paper, dozens of pretty little dwarves go homeless.
That's why at Microdick we are working on one of the most trascendental advancements of the 21st century.
We are working really hard to take into account every aspect of environmentability to bring humanity closer to what it is to feel like a tree.
We are pushing forward what it means to be a tech company today and we are finding new creative ways to inflate our ego, as a way to pretend we're not dying like the rest of normal human beings.4 -
Renaming a file is just too difficult for this piece of shit software.
Fixing bugs? Fuck no.
Fixing crashes? Fuck no.
Fixing the unnavigable IDE settings? Fuck no.
The IntelliJ platform is a bloated piece of shit at every level.
JetBrains cannot produce software that isn't held together by duct tape.
I can't name a single item of software they've ever produced that isn't a bloated piece of shit.
Even if you are prepared to waste a lot of time trying to file a bug report – which they usually just ignore or pretend not to be reproducible – you have to use another in-house heap of shit called YouTrack.
Have you tried using this piece of trash that masquerades as a bug tracker?
These people are fucking clinically insane.
While your IDE becomes unresponsive and crashes without warning, or your keyboard shortcuts just mysteriously stop working in the IDE, or indexing just stops working for no reason, why not check out their TikTok and Twitter accounts?
They've got an excellent PR team that knows how to polish a turd for public consumption, and to make money out of it.
15 -
Writing this before i go to bed in the hopes that somebody will comment and in the morning i can wake up and pretend i actually have friends.6
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Serverless.... More like "I want to sound cool so let me blackbox my backend with this premium service and pretend I don't have a server".4
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NPM and the whole dependency tree for JS packages should burn in the pits of hell.
Let's pretend that uninstalling a single (albeit larger) module didn't take 8 minutes and that it didn't spit out 20 warnings from a total of 277 (HOLY FUCK) related packages.
How can you guys (JS-only devs) handle this ?!15 -
Me: why did I wake up so early in the morning? 🤔
Brain: to poop 💩
Me: damn it ok!
*just finished pooping*
Brain: hey your finished pooping, don't pretend! You're just browsing devRant. Go back to sleep! 😡
Me: oh come on man?
Me: *thinks (well I like devRant and sleep so I will sleep and dream about devRant 😂)*
Me: ok brain, I'll just wash then go back to sleep 🙃6 -
!RANT
Oh, the SORROW that is JEST! 😡
Endless days have been swallowed by the abyss in my quest to configure Jest with TypeScript and ECMAScript modules instead of CommonJS. Triumph seemed within my grasp until - BAM! - suddenly the tool forgets what "import" or "export" means. And the kicker? On the CI, it still runs like nothing’s amiss!
Allow me to elucidate for the uninitiated: Jest is supposed to be a testing safeguard, a protective barrier insulating devs from the errors of their peers, ensuring a smooth, uninterrupted coding experience.
But OH, how the tables have turned when the very shield becomes the sword, stabbing me with countless, infuriating errors birthed from Jest’s own design decisions!
The audacity to reinvent the whole module loading process just to facilitate module mocking is mind-boggling! Imagine constructing an entirely new ecosystem just to allow people to pretend modules are something they're not. This is not just overkill; it's a preposterous reinvention of a wheel that insists on being a pentagon!
Sure, if devs want to globally expose their variables, entwining everything in a static context, so be it. BUT, why should we, who walk the righteous path of dependency injection, be subjugated to this configured chaos?!
My blood boils as the jestering Jest thrusts upon me a fragile, perpetually breaking system, punishing ME for its determination to support whole module mocking! A technique, mind you, that I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole, because, you know, DEPENDENCY INJECTION!
Where are the alternatives, you ask? Drowned in the abyss, it seems! Why can’t we embrace snapshots and all the delectable integrations WITHOUT being dragged through this module-mocking mire? Can’t module mocking just be a friendly sidekick, an OPTIONAL add-on, rather than the cruel dictator forcing its agenda upon our code?
Punish those clinging to their static contexts, their global variables – NOT those of us advocating for cleaner, more stable practices!
It’s high time we decouple the goodness of Jest from its built-in bad practices. Must we continue to dance with the devil to delight in the depth of Jest’s capabilities?
WHY, Jest, WHY?! 😭9 -
I'm so f*cking tired to have a lot of work rejected just because "I don't like it", because "today I like this thing, but tomorrow maybe"...
1. You are NOT even a designer
2. You have NOT a f*cking plan on what we are going to do in the next weeks
3. You are crazy AF because you pretend to have always what you ask without any kind of explanation, changes included..
YOU ARE NOT A LEADER.
YOU ARE JUST A bOSS.4 -
What do you do when you don't have any assigned work in office and idle for 2 weeks..?
I'm already frustrated. And I don't know to pretend I'm working infront of manager 😁16 -
Ugh I hate jQuery. It's so bloated, and I can do everything I need without it. But I can't get rid of it cause WordPress absolutely needs it.
At least I can pretend it doesn't exist on my personal projects.8 -
css frameworks are a sign your ui/ux team is an empty bag of chips.
vuetify examples look like toys in their docs and work that way in prod. if you put any two vuetify components together on a page you basically dont have a website anymore. mx px are indicators that your styling abstraction is so bad that adding 8 resize shims to every single node on the dom is the correct solution to your visual spacing dilemma.
css offers so many powerful tools out of the box now, and it takes like a week to actually learn them. instead, we cloak all the functionality and expressiveness of modern css in black-box m a t e r i a l d e s i g n and pretend like obtuse blobs are a viable substitute for coherent, accessible, user-friendly ux.5 -
I've been typed cast as a VB.NET WebForms developer. Don't let it happen to you!!!
Off to an Angular code meetup where I'll pretend I use it in my career.1 -
“OhhHhh please fill out an entire fucking excel sheet for our test environment deployment. It helps us manage everything better and gives us a reason to fucking thumb around in our holes all day and pretend like we really mean something as managers.” Like absolutely no, you can go fuck yourself with a condom filled with broken glass shards and diseases is what YOU can do. You are a parasite.
“Senior lead developer” - but they don’t have a title - says: “please just give me the list of files I need to manually change on the env in real time”. Bitch, do you even know what CI/CD is?!?!? The fact that you have been doing this for a year straight makes me pity how much of a fucking dumbass you really are. Even if u don’t use a pipeline, just look at my fucking git changes. That’s literally why we have it. You are a fucking disgrace of a developer and I hope you know that everyone who is a competent dev would rather bathe in a bath filled with lemon juice and cactus spikes, before EVER working with YOU EVER AGAIN!!!2 -
I usually use external monitors. After I disconnect all monitors, why do some applications pretend it's monitor is still connected and appear outside the main screen?3
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Suppose you made a tool for your STL that throws compile-time errors when trying to copy references, so your pointers remain tidy.
Suppose also that the language has a a turing-complete preprocessor that can be used to throw useful errors.
Then WHY THE FUCK DOES UNIQUE_PTR NOT OVERRIDE THE DEFAULT ERRORS WHICH TELL ME NOTHING ABOUT WHAT I FUCKED UP BUT PRETEND UNIQUE_PTR IS AT FAULT FOR NOT DEFINING "OPERATOR=" ? -
GraphQL question here!
So i recently noticed (few years after everyone?) That graphql seems popular... I decided to try it out, but after playing with it a bit, the conclusion I came to is, that it's a great idea from FE point of view, but for the backend not so much.. a simple sql to return data to ui turns into a bunch of parts, all independant and with even the simplest relationship to some other entity the whole thing becomes very not optimized and when googling about it, all i found were some very awkward libs for work arounds to force everything into 1 optimized query again... But wait, i already have 1 optimized query in my rest api 😆
I don't understand if I'm missing the brilliance of graphql that everyone saw, or is everyone fell for the hype and use a stupid tool and pretend it's cool? 🫣4 -
Super curious: Ive broken my arch frequently. And then fix it and go on with my day. Or an update causes some weird package confliction because I used pip instead of pacman for one library or whatever.
But I keep hearing from different sources that "arch being super unstable is a myth. It never happens!" Okay surely not all the time, my system is usually pretty good but:
Do you people never `pacman -Syyu` ?
How have you not broken everything?! Or do you just pretend like the AUR (the best thing ever and also the source of most of my problems) doesn't exist? What black magic are you doing to appease the arch gods?8 -
I need to stop trying to get involved with projects my boss seems to be keeping me away from...
Just stay in my own domain... Let everyone else screw up and say not my problem when they come asking me for help... Pretend I don't know...
Just let them build a pile of shit and don't tell them how they fucked up or how to fix... -
Fucking all of them.
I get stuck doing mind numbing bullshit without learning anything new or beneficial to my career.
It literally doesnt let me sleep at night.
I could become Senior in terms of years and still be Junior in terms of knowledge if I were to trust these fucking bosses who like to pretend to be mentors.
Udemy here I come. -
1. Say something about autistic traits in front of your boss. Mention many developers benefit from those traits in their engineering work.
2. Boss rejects this audibly saying he is not in fact autistic.
3. Pretend to ignore social cues when interacting near boss. Such as interrupting conversations impolitely. Boss ignores this and doesn't mention this.
4. Later hear boss saying he might have some autistic traits that helps him in his work (he is software developer and electrical engineer, and is very good at this).
5. Profit from being an asshole or autistic? Am I ignoring cues because I just don't give a fuck anymore?7 -
If you ever have the pleasure of teaching kids (perhaps because they chose to stay home and pretend to be sick) teach them math.
Specifically teach them division. Have them divide 22/7.
Let them keep going until they ask 'when do we stop?'
And when they do, tell them: "you don't. It's an irrational fraction."9 -
Doing another FE assignment these days. In this one they have some clear requirements and some not so clear ones ex. "make the existing code better". And it's for a team lead position so I have to pretend I know what I'm doing instead of just implementing the feature they want.2
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Use Rust they said. It will be much less hassle they said.
And now rustc just stops working in the middle of compiling. No error or anything it just doesn't want to continue compiling so I'm stuck forever on "Building ...". I thought I would never have to experience this again after deciding to pretend C++ doesn't exist but alas systems programming appears to forever be a right pain in the ass7 -
I always see people cry about Windows restarting because for some reason they pretend it forcibly restarts. Just started the Windows 10 notebook of my mother. It had the first update if it installed although it is in daily use... So yeah...1
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They made me pretend to be an expert on an enterprise-level job with only a few days of study. It was for a role not even related to what I do....5
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"We need to implement SSO across our legacy apps in 2 weeks. Don't worry about the details just do it. Pretend you're playing football with computers." MFW
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Me at 3 front-end tech screenings of candidates with +3y of exp last year: "can you name a few npm commands you have used?"
Candidate:
- "Ehh.. npm start?" (npm start is a shortcut to a user-defined run-script)
- "npm version, it publishes the package" (wrong)
- "not going to pretend I know and sound stupid"
Mind you these candidates were not necessarily bad, but come on? You never used npm info, outdated, audit, install, remove, update, why, link, init?10 -
Feel dirty writing in c. How do people even deal with unsafe pointer type casting/memory allocation/free? The codebase is plagued with memory leaks and there is no test.
I will just pretend I can't read c code and play dumb when shit happens15 -
tmux new -d -s 'fuck putin'
for i in 80 443; do tmux new-window -t 'fuck putin' -n $i "while :; do nmap mil.ru -p $i & done"; done
while :; do killall -9 nmap; sleep 2; done3 -
I'm still on a regular basis reminded of how I might be wrong despite the absolute certainty in how obviously wrong the other person is.
Lately I've been working on setting up this API with a fairly intricate database integration. One request can lead to multiple db calls if we're not careful, so we have been polishing up the implementation to guard against ddosing ourselves and dealing with thread-unsafe concurrency.
Someone on the team could happily report that they got rid of all async use so there should no longer be threading issues. "You mean it all runs sync now?" "I guess. It works at least".
I'm just internally pulling a surrender cobra. If this was pre-dev me I would have let him and everyone know what a stupidpants he is and that I thought he had some experience in api development. But let's not make an exception to the rule; I might be wrong. I mean I'm not, but let's pretend I could be. Let's pull down the changes and maybe set up a minimal example to demonstrate how this is a bad idea.
Funny story. He got rid of explicit calls to the database entirely. When resolving data, the query is instead constructed virtually and execution is deferred until the last step. Our functions are sync now because they don't call the database, and threading isn't an issue since there's only one call per request context.
Thank god I've learned to keep my mouth shut until I can prove with absolute conclusive certainty that they are wrong. Here's to another day of not making an ass of myself. -
(Italy)
In 1 word: SUCKS
In 2 words: SUCKS HARD
Basically you work in companies that are either not tech oriented and use you as an extra (eg: fix printer, sort boss fantastic vacation pictures in his overpowered Mac) or if the company main business is tech, they are FANGS-wannabe that pretend to compete with world biggest companies with a severely understaffed crew that they pay as clerks5 -
I hope people don't use container to workaround dependency issues. That's like buying a new computer because you don't know how to upgrade a tiny software. We should learn how to manage things properly, not wrapping shits up and pretend it is clean4
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At least pretend to have a reason for using checkboxes where the behaviour is obviously a single choice. I know I'm sometimes full of crap. I know I can waste so much time arguing for something I'm wrong about. At least I have arguments to support my approach, and I don't dismiss my mistakes. I don't need you to spend the next 5 minutes changing checkboxes for radio buttons in the mockup, it took dev 5 seconds to replace "checkbox" with "radio" and move on. However, I do need you to know what you're doing, even if it turns to be wrong.
I know this world celebrates people who can do things perfectly: models with perfect bodies, singers with perfect voices, sportsmen with perfect scores, students with perfect grades. I understand that's why you wish to try again so you can do it perfectly.
That's not what the world needs. The world needs people who know why they did what they did. It's drunk drivers who break down in the court, not serial killers. Serial killers know what they did, they know why they did it, and they believe it was the right thing to do; drunk drivers on the other hand had no idea what they did or why they did it, and they try to dismiss their wrongdoings by blaming them on alcohol, not getting a taxi, parking fees, the car, or some other circumstances.
So confront your bullshit for once. Stop searching for excuses to dismiss challenging ideas and prove you can defend your position. Otherwise, don't get angry when your "impeccable" ideas lose to someone who at least tries to defend their nonsense.3 -
I'm very sad.
I don't pretend to work on the next Facebook, Google search engine or something else.
I would to be part of something useful.
But i work in a shitty company where quality, architecture planning and TDD are underrated.
Only to build very simple webapplications, where things you take for granted like server side input or a simple error page without java stacktrace are missing or not planned properly.
We have functional analysts, but worst specs ever.
I hate all of this... -
I was asked to pretend to be an expert to solve a temporary solution for a client in my company. I agreed because I thought it would be a simple solution.
I was wrong.
They only gave me 4 days to train (Including my f*cking weekend) and the project requires a much more experienced consultant since I'm struggling even with the simplest of tasks. Also, the person who was suppose to help me it's not always available. And they are not actively searching for a new expert.
Today I'll talk to my team lead and the person in charge of the project and let them know that this task will require someone much more experienced.
I may get fired but at least my conscience will be clear.
I just feel bad for the client. They are such nice people.7 -
Unreal Engine 4 has the worst for sure. And i mean official docs as well as forums.
Answers to most questions tend to kind of boil down to "it's easy!".
As in, that's the only thing the answer will tell you. that it's easy to do. And by that implication, they don't actually need to tell you how to do it.
Or something like "it's easy, just turn this setting on/off".
Nobody will tell you, though, which tab in what window opened by which tiny button in a property grid in a window opened by which dropdown submenu under which button in what toolwindow to find that option.
Second place in the list of worst is shaders: ShaderLab/HLSL. Because they at least don't pretend that it's easy and that they're giving you answers, they usually just don't exist. -
When you are in a meetup or a conversation with hipster devs and you hear new buzzwords, just use common sense, google it and pretend you've used it...
Just like anybody else. -
Looking back I realise I had Lego Mindstorms. That had basic drag and drop programming for the robot. I could say I started there, but really only messed with it for my pretend play. Then I did data entry in HS. Never messed with until my wife made me pick a major so i would stop being a professional student. Started C++ in college. Where I work uses Excel, so I have been messing with the macros using VBA. Currently building websites for another class.
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Is freelance a good experience? I'm having a dilemma.
I might not be able to experience working in a team. But you know, you don't have to kiss your bosses' asses and you no longer have to do small talk and pretend to smile to everyone you meet in the corporate office.3 -
here comes the most productive day of the week. the "pretend that everything is ok, always say good things and be pretencious as possible" business meeting.
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This weeks a joke right 😂, the recent day 0 Microsoft bug that allows anyone to get hacked, and allow someone to do whatever the hell they want.(as you can pretend to be any program on the computer)
Or the super user hack on Linux recently patched... Day 0....
The fact 80% of devs implement oauth incorrectly... So their user accounts are hackable...
Need I go on?1 -
(imagine all of this said in Undoomed's "hey moron" tone)
Hey, moron, fuckin moron! How about if you're a noob with no actual programmer on your side, you just tell me so we can work it out together, instead of sending a moronic 4page "acceptance criteria" that pretend you know what you're talking about, and then bury me under loads of moronic noob questions that reveal you as thenmoron you are, all of that for a fuckin 50 quid?! I thought it's me being an idiot, not being able to do the task within two days timeframe, but now I see you're just too much of a moron to have any idea how much these things take. And now you nonchalantly mention a one-line one point from the four page document full of drivel, which (loads of moronism credit for me here) i didn't notice amongst all of that other mundane drivel, which actually like doubles the whole workload on the task, but your moronic document, which makes 3 parts of the same algorithm into three separate MILESTONES, makes this whole thing that nearly DOUBLES the workload into a shitty SEVENTH SUBPOINT of the completely unrelated first "milestone"?
FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID ROBBERY CHEAPFUCK, and fuck me for letting myself be tricked by all your fancy wordings that pretend you actually know what the fuck you are asking for, so i assumed you did, so I missed THE POINT, WHICH ACCORDING TO THE SEGMENTATION LOGIC OF THE WHOLE REST OF THE DOCUMENT SHOULD BE 3 SEPARATE FULL-SIZED MILESTONES, NOT A SINGLE SUBPOINT, YOU FUCKING FUCK!
... so much for still trying to at least a bit trust people.
FUCKING DISGUSTING MORONIC CHEAPSKATE FUCK.
and I can't even tell him to fuck off through the rectum he came here because he's all nice and polite so I would be the asshole!
"hey, please, can you build me a house?"
*house is basically finished*
"oh, great job, i love it, but i think you might have missed the fineprint in our contract that says that the house is supposed to stand inside an entry hall of a multibillionaire-sized mansion, so could we please sort that out and add it to the building real quick before i pay you the toolshed's worth we agreed on based on the contract? "
FUCK. HIM.
FUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKSHITFUCKERYFUCKDISGUSTINGIDIOTICFUCKINGFUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
i thought i can be a shitty liar and a con man, but this is some next level shit that would be totally beyond my abilities to pull off...
YES I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT I DIDN'T COMB THROUGH THAT BULLSIT "SPECS" OF HIS LETTER BY LETTER TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NO CON BULLSHIT LIKE THIS HIDDEN AMONGST ALL OF THAT MUNDANE SELF-EVIDENT PSEUDO-TECHNICAL DRIVEL, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
fucking disgusting moron, pretending all nice and innocent probably even to himself because he HAS NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT HE EVEN ASKS FOR.
i bet it's one of those pukefucks who get an overpriced contract for 50k without even knowing or caring what programming is, because "i'll just outsource the core functionality of the app for 50 quid to some naiive idiot who lives in the illusion that people are not diarrhorea-worthy pieces of feces, and this other third of the app to some other moron for hundred quid and then i somehow outsource gluing it together to some third poor sod, and that's 49.8k quid of pure profit for me, yay"
and now i'm torn between three options, just cancelling the "contract" with a comment saying "fuck off, you con man", or cancelling it with a lengthy explanation why he's a know-nothing piece of shit who conned me already into having done something worth about 5x more than his shitty "acceptance criteria" requests, or just start conning and bulshitting him back, which won't net me any money, and waste my time, but at least will also waste HIS time, which might be nice because he seems to be on a tight schedule so if i play this right i might have the chance to sink his whole contract which might be mighty nice satisfying...
FUCK THIS, ALL OF THIS, FUCK HIM, FUCK ME, FUCK ALL OF YOU, I SHOULD HAVE STARTED FUCKING OVER EVERYONE RUTHLESSLY A LONG TIME AGO BECAUSE FUCK THE WHOLE WORLD, WHY SHOULD I CARE WHEN NOBODY ELSE DOES, WHY SHOULD I BE DECENT WHEN NOBODY ELSE IS, AND IT ONLY ROYALLY BITES ME IN THE ASS.
stupid fucking lobotomized fuck, IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO SOMETHING, DON'T OFFER YOURSELF TO DO IT FOR MONEY AND THEN CON-SOURCE IT TO OTHERS YOU SHITTY BARFPILE!
FUCK. -
Aye, In last 18 days including today and excluding Saturdays and Sundays, I've attended 21 Meetings(Google meet) where 9 were Internal and the remaining 12 were clients meetings.
Sometimes it gets so annoying and awkward that I just pretend I have internet issue. -
Microsoft is revolutionary on software development: instead of introducing bugs and pretend they are features, they develop features that are as fucking annoying as a bug.
For example, now you can't turn off Windows Defender. Thanks for making my life easier. Thank you so fucking much.3 -
!rant .
Interesting conversation between coworker 1, 2 and 3.
1 : “ hey do you know if you want to sounds like Australians , start eating spiders. Alternatively you can try to eat kiwi to sound familiar to Australian but isn’t.
2 : “ I fancy myself sugary juices and burgers everyday, but yet I am not becoming American.”
1: “No pal you should start drinking petroleum and yell FREEDOM and ‘this is my right!’ every chances you get. That’s how you become a US citizen without the green card .”
3: “bro, you are taking you are what you eat too literally and stereotypically. Let say if you guys would to suck my dick and drain my semen down your throat, won’t me you my son . But I will get the pleasure.”
John : “Yo what the fuck?”
3: “the real question is ‘yo wanna fuck?’”
1 :”you sus bro”
2: “I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that one .”
John :” 1, which ‘you’ you are referring to? 2, of course you didn’t with that amount of sugary juices.”
2: “hey this is my right!”
John: *mute the off-topic channel *
Yo like what the fuck .14 -
Confirmation bias: the tendency to interpret suspicious software behavior as a feature, not a bug. For example I just saw something that I'm not sure it's OK on a web app that I'm developing but let's pretend it's the intended behavior and keep coding.
-
Today I am experiencing all the joys of workspace virtualisation, with CIT that only looks at security, not what is used by the people and why... They restrict me now from doing my work... While I am sitting at home 🤭 yeah open up another ticket explaining these asshats that we need things to get our jobs done, and that they just do things to pretend to enhance security by destroying productivity
Let us walk into ragnarok with sun on our faces... Why the fuck do I even work here? -
Today marks the second day of me having to build an email template and I never hated anything more in my life than that. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED? WHY CAN'T THEY UPGRADE THEIR STUPID RENDERING ENGINES SO WE CAN USE MORE MODERN METHODS?!? Sorry but I don't want to create an E-Mail and having to pretend its 1995. The table view is so outdated and I'm aware of the fact that some clients support divs but not Outlook (Outlook itself sucks pretty hard but thats another story). I just wanna be able to use grid, flex, etc. to build my template.
I HATE MY LIFE5 -
Guys so there's thia company called Whitehat jr, who's doing a lot of shady stuff. They pretend to teach kids coding by making them dabble with scratch/block type editor and charge them upto 100000 rupees for the course. Their teachers also dont know coding!!! I feel very bad for the kids who are forced by their parents into all this crap without doing prior research..11
-
I am quite worried about the approach users have towards technology...
I am starting now to work to my bachelor thesis research in algorithm, so I'm still very young.
But when I think about which mental process guides people when they use or try to fix their pcs is very worrying...
I mean I am no mechanical engineer but I don't pretend to know perfectly how an engine works. But I try anyway to understand it the best as I can...
Instead I see users that don't try to know at all our products... People (and not only elderly) which think that Facebook and Internet is the same thing, people that think that you can find anything one the net, while I found myself stuck many times in the middle of a research for something...
I had a course in human computer interaction... And I see the point of simplifying the user experience... But I fear that it will be soon to much :s3 -
This privacy fever isn't bad, at least companies have to pretend to give a fuck a little more now. But the effects aren't all good!
I have updated every app on my android phone at least 2 times in the last 2 - 3 weeks. Argh! Every one of them using the "updates to our privacy policies" card. -
I was all hyped up coz I WHINED AND BITCHED FOR MONTHS against a 5-6y old B2B company offering, that it's shit n needs to be remade
And they agreed, n only 2 people assigned to it yet, the last chief architect and me
But last guy is old n is the one who made it shit in the first place (we use Windows Tasks in a Windows Server, triggering once every minute to pretend background tasks)
n he doesnt even want 2 branches (: And is still making the same mistakes that made the last implementation shit n it's hard to stop him coz he senior and old
And now I kinda dont care, but have to coz job market's shit
Ffs4 -
super.rant("
When you feel the fart breaking through all barriers, just as the barber leans in to get that untidy patch on the back of your head, and yet he pretend like nothing happened.
");
1 -
!dev
I just woke up from a fun adrenaline packed film dream.
It started like an movie, leaning a bit into the funny side, but also a bit serious.
We were 3 guys going top speed on the highway, dodging traffic, trying to prevent a bomb from detonating on the other side of the city.
We were all famous actors, but the only one I remember was Jackie Chan. I remember thinking why would they cast Jackie Chan and give him so few lines.
I wished I remember more about this part. The only thing I remember is that when we get to the end of the island, we’re in the wrong place: we’re at a huge OBGYN center.
My sidekicks are bothering the desk women, eating all of the “waiting candy”. I feel bad and offer to pay those, which they pretend to not care about but then end up charging me down to the penny. Cunts.
The sidekicks leave and (without explanation because dreams) disappear of the story.
Defeated, I go outside and start walking.
And I don’t remember exactly what the fuck happened in between, but somehow I’m now in the house of a cartel druglord and he’s pissed and I need to run now.
So I do. I remembered that there was a very thick forest east to the house. So I go there.
And what follows is a very intense montage of me escaping.
At some point that forest ended, so I continue through some high weed, and then another forest, and so on. While I had to pass through parts with no vegetation, I had to avoid these as much as possible.
I saw dozens of types of trees and shrubs.
Then I started seeing families, kids, playing, relaxing on what seemed a Sunday afternoon.
The adventure was so fun, the landscape was so beautiful I felt happy and thought “this is how it feels to be alive”. And I actually felt happy in real life as well.
At some point the vegetation I encounter decreased, and I have to go through more urbanized areas, with more people.
“Uh oh” I think, “I hope no one snitches me”. But miraculously, no one does.
Throughout all the journey I had glimpses of the drug lord nearby presence.
His face on the distance, the sound of his car engine.
But now he was closer than ever. And I’m closer to this house which is the escape point (can’t really remember why).
So I reach for the handle and fade to white, and fade back again, it’s me, older, and I’m not in an escaping mood.
My wife is waiting, our car is outside (on the non drug lord side).
And guess what, we were waiting for our daughter, who comes with a smile and a child on her hands.
So apparently, my daughter married someone from the drug lord villa that almost murders me.
Reading this sounds like a bad script, but that’s what I dreamed today.1 -
Dear real estate industry,
if you define a horrible exchange format as CSV file. Then fucking stick to that specification or give me access to your horrible 90s style tooling so I can at least figure out why every crap tool exports in a slightly different way.
How in the world am I supposed to map your data if you keep changing the field count (which is the only way of validating an exported file).
You pretend to be innovative by specifying an industry wide standard but you aren't able to stick to it.
Fuck you, and the one guy "developing" the specification. Seriously... One guy has the responsibility? Do you really think that's a good idea.
Get your shit together!
Yours,
every developer working in your industry1 -
Whenever we have to do Sprint Retros i feel like i am trapped in self-help group.
Recently, we had to describe our work/team like we would do amazon reviews. That is, we had to write "reviews" about our last sprint.
I sincerely would like to know why we can't discuss problems like grown adults, if there are any. Why do we have to pretend we are in a space rocket, on a sailing boat, in a formula one race car or reviewing amazon articles to articulate our needs?
I feel like developers are treated like stupid, little kids, and the majority of the developers don't have a problem with it.4 -
see now this is the f-ing shit that pisses me off.
There is this project named dain.
One time I made a project that dropped frames using opencv or ffmpeg i can't remember, creating a test output file and ran them through dain to benchmark it for myself.
alot of things just like this actually I tended to do to get a better sense. Its the reason I abandoned the NN since I think I have a feel for how to design them for certain tasks and remember that with my 'successes' i was still really far off from where i'd like to be.
additionally there are other kinds of ml that interest me more that I am not seeing too much on... point is
I worked all this crap out
got wavenet working to check on it YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS ago and because the dirty fucks out west kept stealing my stuff, i end up back at square one waiting for some douchebag to steal my stuff again who isn't even going to do anything but pretend he's straight or pretend everything has some faggot meaning. its very annoying. why do these people live this way again ?3 -
Have you ever felt like your smart just because you fixed a bug on someone else project, that bug you did not tell the team you happen to cause it accidentally, but after finding how is everyone stocked about it u pretend to fixit hoping no one will notice , haha , just felt like posting today , super bored,1
-
As I sit here trying not to do the same shit as these idiots keep going crazy and driving me the same place I thought I’d browse the news and I saw a repeat in this precise life stealing scenario where people who are long past their expiration date pretend to be doing me a favor by destroying the evidence that they wronged me and everyone else that was an honest person and now can’t explain them fucking selves
60 year old 50 year olds and such
And a closed network of assholes that repeat the same shit and keep me trapped
I’m trying to live
To work
To progress
They made the country a prison withholding media news releases and keeping morons wandering around in a “stabilizing” way
Now they’re talking about a. Very real farce that is occurring in dc yet again
Open to half capacity after the farsical COVID scare again
How are so many people such brainwashed trash ?
Thinking they’re either winning or nothing better could happen while the next generation of dupes is inserted into the mix
It makes me angry
Meanwhile my fucked up chomo father and his surveillance duplicates... well it’s possible my actual father is dead at this point
Maybe
Still go about business as usual and I find myself wondering when younger people will wake up and when I’ll see some new fucking tv or movies at the very least since seemingly holding onto photos and videos and writing and personal effects seems a tad difficult
I swear to god I’ll be dead before I’m officially 50 !1 -
I hereby declare the following the official anthem of Trintellix:
[Chorus]
I can make you feel better oh, if you let me
I can make you feel better ooh, if you want to
I can make you feel better oh, and you know you will
If that's what you want boy
Then you know where to find me
[Verse]
However you're feeling
I can make you feel better
Whatever you're thinking
I can make it all clearer
Don't pretend you know that you feel it
Try so hard, but you can't conceal it
Whatever you feel inside
I can make you feel better
If that's what you want boy
Then you know where to find me
So
(SOPHIE — Bipp)1 -
If you all weren't pretending to still be here which I wonder if you all are, what would you all do if I suddenly didn't care about anything at all ? Kind of curious because it is hard.
Since you know there are people even breeding small children to slake the lusts of garbage motherfuckers who have STDs ruining one generation after another and that's just another nail on my cross holding me up while your fake asses pretend to give a damn about the patriarchy and preferred pronouns and all that other bullshit
Or continue this COVID 19 masquerade
Wtf ?
Do you not all feel even a little stupid yet ? Even just a little like monsters ? Even just a little bit ashamed ? Or when you're being beaten to death in your dotages by teenagers for being pedophiles in wheelchairs is what it will take ?10 -
I watch TV shows and pretend like I am working in front of my parents. Is there any chance, I get a place in heaven?6
-
https://researchgate.net/figure/...
I think this model discounts the idea of "representations regressing to the world as ground truth" or the "world as its own best model" in research related to embodied intelligence. I just think researchers tend to overlook state-free approaches because everything is DNN now.
I can't pretend to understand everything they're talking about, and AI winter may be coming eventually, but its still well worth the read simply because of the approach they take merging neurobiology with ideas from computational intelligence.1 -
http://syntheti.cc/van-build/
"Even at the very least of curing your boredom, temporarily, while you sit in your cubicle and pretend to work."
I hate this guy :|1 -
Unlocking your potential takes time.
Throwing away time is so easy to do and we are all guilty of it. How much of your time have you wasted not living up to your potential? The answer is brutal and may overwhelm you.
You have probably wasted some of your time but at least you haven’t wasted your whole life, yet.
You still have time and that’s the best reason to stop wasting it and unlock more of your potential. It hurts to know you have been lazy or procrastinated, but it hurts even more to ignore that fact and pretend everything is great.
source: https://psiloveyou.xyz/overwhelming... -
Step 1: download and install Arch Linux
Step 2: attempt to set it up correctly
Step 3: ?!?!
Step 4: fail miserably
Step 5: force more competent friends to help / do it for you
Step 6: pretend like you have any idea what is going on
Step 7: ????!!!!
Step 8: profit!(?)2 -
sigh.
same shit different day.
anyone else want to pretend to be me from an earlier visit between being neurologically poisoned by prolonged misery, shock, brutality and wasted time ?
why are we not moving forward exactly ? -
man alive do i get sick of their hidden jump out of the bush people creepos.
at least i can code. thats nice
i can code the same crap
and then they can steal it again
and then they can pretend they're being helpful being the lazy evil bastards they are.
and then i can work for 60k a year using technology rolled back too fucking far back because noone is motivated to do shit anymore. -
Dear Thieves.
So I was looking at some guy who's job I designed today.
He was sitting there with the new laptop I bought during one visit here.
It was an hp with a silver keyboard and handrest because supposedly normal people stopped owning laptops when you all decided to embrace schizophrenia and create inane rather stupid meanings that are associated with literally everything but sense or sophistication.
comparing oneself to an animal for example doesn't focus on positive or spiritual values, its something perverse.
ordering food is not about enjoying new things or savoring flavors, its about something perverse.
going to school is not to learn things, its to crash and burn later because the powers that be refuse to update the system from the 1970s.
living, is not living at all, but working to pay bills and get old bitter and fat.
well.
shit.
retards.
anyway. doesn't explain people like myself who made things when we could and were enthusiastic about our jobs at points.
oh. and supposedly the guy who stole the job was 'I".... and it was a job that would become 'outmoded'......
i believe that was the word often used. let;s check. yup, close enough.
then all these people talking about 'new' jobs because noone could trust the group of monsters they made with too much spare time. since you know. they thought it was funny to steal human beings lives since they were not human. subhuman.
anyway.
where suddenly everything meant something else and a whole new world of retarded people emerged from the shadows because the trash children of a former generation got sick of being lectured about morality when they were in fact just bad people who should have been shot.
i don't care how else the whiney bastards explain themselves. i really don't.
you can say that in desperate fucked situations involving psychological torture, rape, etc that a decent person *raises their hand* might do TERRIBLE things to their captors in order to escape, but THEY caused that while whining that someone from the 1940s or earlier made them evil and they had no choice but to steal jobs, money, retirement funds, public institutions, the morals of a generation, i'll bite: toddlers, spread their legs like psycho whores to get pregnant, so steal people's unborn children, turn every fund available that could have gone towards people that needed things to money laundering and in general gleefully fucked our whole country up with the lack of foresight that psychopaths commonly display.
great job.
was it worth dying ?
how about going crazy and letting another group of evil people make an excuse to drive everyone into an endless idiotic loop ?
but hey no, keep lying. works so well.
well at least fedora 37 is released again.
give the stolen photos back.
just want to know what i looked like, and don't want to talk like a retard to get people who understand english to pretend they finally comprehend.
fucking bastards.5
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