Sometimes when I'm writing Javascript I want to throw up my hands and say "this is bullshit!" but I can never remember what "this" refers to

#oldbutgold

WINDOWS USER VS LINUX USER

A Windows User's view on computing

I have the blue screen of death again
You'll never hear me say
I'm happy with my computer
At the end of the day
my operating system
dictates
my choice
in programs i use and the features I've
i have complete control
over nothing
i lose sleep
worrying about getting viruses
and
microsoft patching vulnerabilities in time
i don't have time to think about
some thing better.
i've learned
to live with old software issues
There's no way i'm planning
to change, and
its worth it to me

A Linux User's view on computing
(read this bottom to top)

I used to do some freelancing and one of the main clients I worked with had a project they hired me for that used Drupal. I fucking hated it. I thought it was bloated (and slow as fuck), unnecessarily complex, and just all around a horror to work with.

Even though that was many years ago, from other devs I've met, it seems like Drupal never really got much better. One devops guy who worked at the previous company I was at told me about some benchmarks he had done on Drupal in his previous work. The performance results he got were an absolute joke - awful concurrent performance and just a brutally slow CMS.

Needless to say, since that freelance project, I've never used Drupal again and never will.

I've never heard an Apple person say "laptop" or "phone". They always specify that it's a "MacBook" or "iPhone".
Just an observation.

Before iPads took over the general population of home computing, I used to do house calls to help people with their computers for some extra folding money. One day I get a call from a regular saying that ever since I last worked on his computer it won't stay on.

He says it comes on for a few seconds, then just shuts down. It never did that before I upgraded the RAM.

So I drive over to his house and turn on the computer. He says, "See, it starts fine, but in a few seconds it'll just shut off. Just watch"

The computer boots up without any issues.

He says, "Well, of course it doesn't do it now that you're here!"

I reboot it a few times, boots fine every time. Suddenly I realize what's going on. I say to him, "Hey, why don't you try turning it on for me?"

He says, "What difference will that make?"

I say, "Just trust me, turn it on."

He bends down, presses the power button, looks up at the monitor and watches it boot. But he doesn't release the button! He just keeps holding it down until it shuts off.

"See!" he says, "why does it only do that when I turn it on!"

I then have to explain to him how holding down the power button forces a shutdown.

But, it never did that before I worked on it!

"It is just a small task. I can do that in just..." Never ever ever say the above statement even if you are 10000% confident.

She: We've been together for so long and why are you never romantic??
Me: What do you mean? I can say I Love You in 10 different languages!
She: Awww... Really ?!?
Me:
cout<<"I Love You!";
printf("I Love You!);
System.out.println("I Love You!");
print "I Love You!"
echo "I Love You!";
say I Love You
puts "I Love You!
msg db 'I Love You!'
<h1>I Love You!</h1>
dbms_output.put_line ('I Love You!');

Me: Hello.. ?

"Never undervalue yourself or let anyone else undervalue you."

"Learn to say no."

Same person during my first contract, where I was working insane hours for very little pay.

I get that fingerprint authentication is very convenient but I'd never use it (not even for privacy reasons that much).

When someone guesses/gets your password you can just say "alright let's change my password"

Imagine that with fingerprints: "yeah sure let me change my fingers"

😆

Never tired to say to them...

You can never believe books that say 'Learn Programming in a Day' 😂

Haha so this just happened;
Father in law came to me asking 'hey you as an IT guy, why does my Spotify app stops after x minutes every time'?

I say to him 'dnno never had the issue on Android, but you have a Microsoft phone, right?'

So he says; 'why are you asking? Isn't my Windows phone good enough for you? Ok already I'll try searching for an answer myself then on Google'.

So I go 'k k hold on I'll Google it for you'.

*ROFLMAO

Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with

Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent

You what's been pissing me off this week. The press and social media coverage of this Google guy's gender memo.

Almost every outlet has him saying:

"Women are inferior coders because of their biology"

He ABSOLUTELY does not say this anywhere. He only states that basically less women are attracted to the industry. He doesn't comment at all on the quality of the Women who do go into tech.

It astonishes me the utter ignorance of the media and how they can just print these ignorant errors / lies.

I would wager that most if not all of them never even read his memo.

I am really fucked off by this social media keyboard warrior driven world we live in.

Apparently we value freedom of speech and freedom of expression above all else... UNLESS you say something that pisses off the social media justice warriors. In that case you will be publicly crucified and your life / career will be destroyed.

The annoying thing is in this particular case he didn't even say what they are saying he did.

Half a week later I finally found out why my DNS server "wasn't working" on any of my servers.

Let's just say that MullVad's anti-dns leaking technology works extremely well.

It was tunneling all DNS requests through its own servers to prevent DNS leaks and I never thought of it a single fucking time!

😅

- Was working in a JS file for a website.
- Decided to move file into a folder for better organisation.
- Made folder, copied file into it.
- Spent 30 minutes wondering why changes weren't working, questioning my JS skills and life in general.
- Called friend asking for assistance, he's as confused as I am.
- Realised while speaking to him that I never deleted the file that was copied, and had been making changes to that the entire time.

Needless to say I was a little bit embarrassed.

Thursday: Hey wife…. I finished my project and tomorrow I should have a very easy day, just watching Slack.

Friday: Database— corrupted bin logs, major production outages.

Wife: 😡I can never believe you when you say you’ll have an easy day.

Those days at 1:49AM when your code finally runs and does exactly what you wanted it to do, and you want to scream and tell someone, but you realize that even if anyone was awake, they'd never understand why you're so excited. They'd probably just pat you on the back and say 'Uh, ... good job...?'

So today I got really triggered when i hear this guy say that coding is cancer. I stand up and instantly the first thing going through my mind is that it's the battle of the nerds. He says he tried ALL of the programing languages out there and they were shit. I asked if he tried C# and he still says coding is cancer even though he has never even heard of any C# syntax. I asked if he used Batch as a started language and he still says it. So I just decided to roast him by saying "did you put .bat at the end of the file when you were saving? Oh wait never mind, I forgot your lazy ass doesn't have the intelligence to understand how to save"
Surprisingly everyone was silent and most likely didn't understand what I had said. So I just left wondering if he even bothered to get a guide on syntax for any of the languages he would have liked.

Most memorable coworker? Definitely one of our devs in the first company I worked at. He was around fifty, quirky as fuck but damn knowledgeable about pretty much everything. Think some kind of uncle Iroh who could build his own compiler.
I haven't learned as much from university as I learned from our talks during smoking breaks. He never judged anyone for not knowing something (even really basic stuff) and was actually happy if he could help. Now, a few years later I still find myself applying techniques for conceptualizing software he explained to me on the balcony and I have to say I wouldn't be half the dev I am today if I'd have never met him so I guess that counts as memorable.

The Absolutely True Story of a Real Programmer Who Never Learned C.

I have a young friend named Sam who is quite a programming prodigy. Sam does know C! I need to make this clear: he’s not the titular programmer.
But a couple years ago Sam told me a story about a different programmer who never learned C, and I liked it so much that right on the spot I asked his permission to repeat it. (I could never just steal such a tale.)
Sam wasn’t always a programmer—actually he started in his later teens, in part because he was more of a jock, and in part because he was related to programmers and wanted to do his own thing. But, like all great programmers, once he was bitten by the bug he immersed himself completely in it.
One day Sam happened to be talking programming with his uncle, who was also a programmer but from way, way back.
“Hey,” said Sam, “I’m learning this language called C. You must know a lot of languages, did you ever study C?”
“No,” said the uncle, to Sam’s surprise. “I am one of the very few programmers who never had to learn C.”
“Because I wrote it.”
Oh, Sam’s last name is Ritchie.
What I love about this story is the idea of Dennis waiting Sam’s entire life to deliver this zinger. Just imagine sitting on a line that good, watching your nephew grow up and waiting, waiting until the one day he finally starts learning to code. Did he work on the line in his head at night? Like, “Hmm, how should I word it so I can deliver the punch line perfectly? Should I say ‘I never took a class on C?’ Nah, too awkward…”
The great thing about geniuses is how much effort they put into everything.

Courtesy : Wil Shiply.

Usually I do love my colleagues, but lately....

FOR FUCKS SAKE I AM NOT YOUR WALKING HUMAN GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE SHITOVERFLOW CHATGEPETTO INSTANCE! READ YOUR FUCKING LOGS, DO A FUCKING INFORMATION LOOKUP, READ THE FUCKING MANUAL.

OH YOU HAVE A QUESTION YOU SAY? PLEASE FOR FUCK SAKE ELABORATE WITH SOMETHING MORE THEN 'Please help me with the pipeline"' WHILE YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM IS A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF GIT, LINUX OPERATING SYSTEMS AND AUTOMATION.

OH YOUR BRANCH IS, WHAT, 3 MONTHS BEHIND MASTER? NEVER HEARD OF A FUCKING REBASE? WHATS THAT YOU SAY??? YOU DONT KNOW WHEN TO SKIP A COMMIT??? ITS YOUR FUCKING CODEBASE! READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !!!

WHATS THAT? YOU WORK IN VSCODE AND YOU DO T K OW HOW? AGAIN READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !

Self.end(rant)

I don’t have a degree, nor has a degree ever prevented me from being hired / doing my job.

Now that’s not to say all businesses / companies will over look your education section on the CV, But for me it’s never been a problem.

#SelfTaughtDevsMatter

Heard this recently:
JS always make me wanna say Fuck this shit! But I can never be sure what this refers to!

Today is a great day for me! Today I've reached my weight goal - 99.9 . That's right guys - this nerd can proudly say that he's lost 20kg since last Nov!

Boi does that feel amazing.

So yeah guys, listen up. If your weight is <100 - appreciate that! Your hearts aren't in trouble, you can bend easily to put your socks on, you can sit with your legs crossed, you can do sooo many things! Enjoy it. And don't let it go easily. Don't think like I did: "meeh, it's just one more kilo -- I'll tackle it down later". It's a // TODO. It'll never happen!

My wife and I just went Pokemon hunting in the park. Never thought I'd say that

My team's program for the Coding Contest.
Seriously.
Need I say anything other than

List<KeyValuePair<int, KeyValuePair<int, ...>>>

and

var v = list.Key.Key.Key.Value
var w = list.Key.Key.Value

?

But eh, it worked for the contest, that code is never to be seen again haha

I code, watch Big Bang Theory, sip coffee, and code again. I never leave the doorsteps except for my classes. Some say my life is sad.

Is it? Anyone out there like this?

Ubbhhhh <<-- me when I realized I put gmail.con instead of gmail.com for my devRant account.

It's been actually quite a while since I'm here but couldn't do anything but read others rants since I never got the confirmation email because of that silly mistake.

It's now my chance to say hi to everyone 🤗

People who say things like this never got their production table removed on Friday night.

About 6 years ago, my boss found out about social media and how he could use it to boost his business. So he created a Facebook page.

A week later he called me to his office and asked me to move the page's profile picture from left to right. I told him this was not possible and was something Facebook doesn't allow us to do.

Next thing I know he started telling me to check and try before I say no, and should never say no as anything was possible.

Obviously, I quit.

I was going to say almost 20 years of Dilbert... Then realized it's closer to 30...

Guess the problems of IT never go away...

Product manager: build us a recently viewed and bookmark feature!

Younger-Me: But every browser already has a bookmark feature and a recently viewed (history) feature and its much better implemented with much less overhead.

Product manager: I don't care. Give me this feature, you are supposed to do as i say and bow.

Younger-Me: I'll take it as a challenge.

--- two weeks after feature is deployed ---

Product Manager: 😁 See! Many users are using the feature we built *shows me messages from subscribed customers*

Me: 😨 I'll never underestimate user's stupidity again.

So you remember this Headless duck that found it's way into debugging? Well after a few more adventures of 3D printing, it evolved. Afew parts that never would have seen the daylight were added to his body.

Say hello to: Lt. Duckfix

Visual Studio Code is taking over the world. Every Google Dev I see is using it, especially for angular/node.

Bdw, I've been using it (T'S) for the past 24 and I'm loving it.

Never thought I'd say this for anything Microsoft. 😂

I'm sure this has probably been posted before, but it never fails to drive me nuts, and customers never stop doing it, so:

Why do end users think "it's broken" is all they have to put into the support ticket?

It's a web app, not a goddamn pretzel.

If the turn signal on your car stops working, do you drop your car off at the mechanic, hand them the keys, and say "its broken, fix it!"?

While I'm on the topic, "I tried to do {x} and it gave an error" is better than "its broken", but still: why do you think what the actual error says would be completely irrelevant, especially when we put in the effort to give you relatively meaningful error messages?

I mean, is "there was a problem sending the email" so utterly gibberish to you that it is indistinguishable from "error: 0x000351e6"?

If so, I'm sorry, but you're too stupid to use a goddamn computer!

I never thought I say that Microsoft is by far the most innovative tech company right now!

When someone asks you "how much do you charge to make a mobile app?" But never say what the app does!!

Never again will I fucking work for anyone close to me! It's not fucking worth helping them.

Backstory is too long. Lets just say that they fucking expect too much as we're friends. Assuming that paying 10$ for your domain every year entitles me to work on every ducking detail of your website. Not to forget I gave this person an insane discount on the entire project.

I lost a friend or someone who I assumed was a friend

Week 26 advice - you all probably know this but good to refresh!

Eat healthily

Sleep well

Document clearly

Annotate your code

Use version control properly

Keep yourself in check with project management tools

Your peers are your friends... And competition.

As much as your boss is an idiot respect them and your life will be easier.

With great power comes great responsibility; don't touch that keyboard until you think through what you are doing chances are your first idea is not the best.

Don't write quick fixes and say you will go back to clean it up later on when you have time. That time will never come.

Never used Linux before. At least not enough to say I've worked on it. But these discussions in here, they've pushed me. I'll do it now. I'll try Fedora. Right now! And never come back...till it's ABSOLUTELY needed.

Today I uttered words I thought I'd never say in my life....

"This is why linux is better"

What the hell is going on in 2020 lmao

Javascript makes me want to flip
the table and say "Fuck this shit", but
I can never be sure what "this" refers
to.

Some people say that they've built something with blood, sweat and tears. They've clearly never built anything serious. If they did, they'd know that it costs that, an unholy amount of alcoholic beverages to account for the crippling depression caused by the inevitable failures, and a shitton of cursing. FUCK!!

Developer superstition, never say something is easy, fast or straightfoward.

It will take weeks to develop, months to test and debug and you will consider change jobs just to stay away of that code

I, my dev friend and a non dev friend were having a deep Philosophical chat
NDF - while we are here on earth, we should give something back to the mankind
DF - Yeah man! (sarcastically pointing at me) But this guy never gives anything to anybody
Me - Oh I have contributed a lot to the mankind. You should check my github profile.

Needless to say two of us burst out laughing while one was giving blank stare.

I am pretty sure when people say

"AI will be able to write code and create apps from scratch in the future"

have never actually sat in a client's requirements gathering call.

This is what happens to overworked PMs.

Me: When users create accounts with social logins, they don’t have passwords in our database. If they try to enter an email and pw on the login form, what do you want the error message to say?

PM: Can we add a modal that says “Your account doesn’t have a password, set one now.” And have a password field?

Me: ☠️ That…would…allow…anyone…to…hijack…an…account…

PM: Right. Never mind.

When managers look at my code, it’s shit, it’s over complicated, it’s overly difficult to read, it took too long, it’s too much for a simple ticket, i handled too many edge cases, we’ll never need most of it, why did I bother making it extensible when it’ll never need to change, how dare I use “unless”, why did I bother writing all these comments, why did I update the documentation that nobody reads because it’s outdated, etc. They say I should be more like the legendary devs and push janky code quickly, and complain that I don’t have any flops (problems in prod) like those are a good thing.

When my coworkers look at my code, they say it’s clean, amazingly easy to read, a monster feature that’s somehow still a joy to review and work on, it makes their lives easier, that it does exactly what it should in all cases, that they learned something from reading it, and thank me for the comments and documentation. And marvel that I finished it so well in so little time.

Am I bragging? Not intentionally; I’ve heard these things repeatedly since I started here, and the contrast between the above is so stark.

In reality, the managers are just idiots who were promoted far above their competence, and make everything worse. (Gee, who woulda thought?) It’s just so frustrating.

HAVE YOU JUST TRIED TO BARGAIN ON MY ESTIMATE?!

I really hate when people try to bargain on my estimates. It's done when I say so. I really think it through before I tell you the deadline, so GO FUCK YOURSELF PLEASE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP. NEVER EVER BARGAIN ON THAT AGAIN.

If you do, it will take one week longer for every time you try it.

Never thought I'd say this but I'm starting to like windows

I hate it when people dislike things because it’s cool.

“PHP is terrible,” they say.

Yeah! If it was any good then most websites on the Internet would be coded in it... oh wait.

“Nickelback suck,” they say.

Of course. That’s why they’ve never been able to make any money off their “terrible” music. Oops. Wrong again.

What other things are “cool” to hate just because people say so?

#storytime When I was in my apprenticeship and learning to code I often did make the same mistakes over again so my colleagues and I found names for them and they just had to say 'potatoe sack' and I knew what was going on. It actually help to never make these mistakes again #throwback

Forgot my password at school, say so, they tell me the password. Have they never heard about security?

Never before I have shared my feelings with all great, kind developers. I always wanted to be the healthy, active & passionate member of this family...but never know what to say!!
Made an account earlier as well .. but thought I am not ready I always had some lame excuses so never shared anything before.

I am doing a fresh start now , able to convince myself to share something..

Hi !! to all the developers who are making this family truly amazing and fantastic :)

This is probably a dumb question but:

I've (maybe embarrassingly) never been approached by a recruiter. Why does everyone hate them so much?

Wouldn't being approached by, say, a recruiter from Google or Facebook or whatever be something to be excited about?

Most fun I had as a dev?

I'd say it was when the whole it department decided to have an Easter egg competition xD the DBA's never did find out why one of our apps kept creating dummy users called LEEEEEROY JENKINS

One of my best achievements in development xD

I saw an article about being able to set your phone to silent with your Google Home device. "Wow that's cool. Hey Google! Set my phone to silent."

Forgets about it.

This morning I noticed I was getting messages on Snapchat, but not getting any notifications.

"Snapchat is a piece of fucking garbage." (Still a true statement lol)

Half an hour later, I remember I set DND on and never turned it off.

Just here to say that I am a fucking moron.

I'm Stux and thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Opened Devrant to say...
"Office is so hopeless that I am not even in mood to rant about all those stuff"

But saw a post that I had typed last time but never posted it....

Things happen!

My female coworkers ranting about "how can their partners be so stupid" on "never buying what they where asked for".

I explain to them some actions they might be doing that if done to me has the same effect like :
- asking for something and then start a non stop conversation about something else...

They look at me with a "how can you men be so ridiculous" face and say something like that...
I answer: well, try not doing those things next time and see if it helps.

They are gonna ignore me and keep living their lives without realising that men and women are fucking different...

Go girls.

3 years ago I started my computer science bachelor's, during this time I thought that I would finish my 3 years and get a job as soon as I'm finished, I was certain that I would never study any advanced programs.
I was also told from my seniors that only an 8'th of all of us that started will get a degree on time since half quits the first year, half of what's left quit the second and half of what's left the third year will get a job before finishing

3 years later, not only did I get my degree on time , but I am now studying for a masters...

Moral of the story: never say never || life is strange || you can't plan ahead in life

Never really used a UI framework for web development, always coded each component myself. Im using one now and I have to say it's not that bad!

Cs101 - a 3 hour Friday morning lecture. 1st at uni doing computer science. Half asleep. I'm awoken by the professor

"You at the back - what's the answer!"

Alarmed but not too bothered I just say "I don't know"

He replies "yes you do! We just went over it"

I say I really don't know. Someone behind me says "64". So I say "64".

Professor sighs and says "no - 2 to the power 8 is 256!"

He never liked me after that.

In Germany some say
"killer games make one agressive".
Those have never developed for Magento.

Who says Windows is useless....

Running a python script to swap wifi networks, auto connect to VPN servers, run SSH commands and SFTP files to servers, downloading numerous files, sifting through outlook for emails, running excel macros for data cleansing, cell merging and formulas all at the click of a button 😱

Oh yea.. this is all 1 task that I never have to do again😂

Windows is useless for development you say? 🤔

Buttons that say "Yes, please" should be "Yes".
"No, thanks" should be "No".
"Not now" should be "Never".
I am using software, not talking to people, there's no need to be nice.

I spent the last 3 months trying to hire new developers for my team. I found someone experienced who is great and a graduate, who is, well, a graduate.

For some reason he thinks he knows everything about our framework he has never used and seems to think he knows how everything works in our codebase which he has never seen.

That’s fine. I’ve had my share of cocky developers.

But what confuses me is that when I ask him what critical bugs are left, he reels off two significant ones. I ask what it will take to fix it. Of course he says he knows how to fix it. So I say great. Then fix it and let’s move on to a more fun part of our project.

Suddenly he didn’t know where he problem was and so I told him he had to investigate and come back with something concrete.

It’s just frustrating managing this developer who is deceitful.

People who actually implement DRY: "Don't repeat yourself!"

People who "implement" DRY but are morons: "Don't repeat yourself, never say the same thing twice, and try not to be redundant."

When I wasn’t the lead yet there are so many things I want to do and improve. I have asked and judged my lead’s choices a thousand times for choosing the easy and fast way instead of the right way.

Now that he left and his role was given to me, I can now sense the same judgements from my members to the decisions I make (or not make).
I now understand. We don’t always have the luxury of time. If I say yes to improving everything at once then our app will never be done. (That our bosses will blame me for)

*Declines meeting an hour past working hours*

Manager: “any specific reason why you declined my invite?”

What I want to say: “You are a narcissistic cunt who I wish to never interact with again. Your existence in this world and the way you treat others makes me want to throw up!”

But I just pretend like I never saw their message.

Backstory: A few months ago, I wrote an inventory management web app for internal use by the sales team, logistics, and whoever else might need to use it.

Earlier this week: A few minutes before I usually leave, my phone rings. It's some dude I've never heard of. No idea what his function at the company is, still don't, probably never will, don't care. He's never used the app before, and says he's having problems. His cube's on my way out, so I swing by.

I'm not making this next part up. This dude is probably 60 years old, and he's using a very old looking gateway desktop (with the cow print logo thing on the chassis), running Windows XP (not a typo), using IE7.

I don't know what to say, so I just stare at the desktop, look at dude, laugh, and eventually explain that he's never going to be able to use the system via the web app until his rig is replaced.

What the fucking fuck is this. How could this have happened. How do our it people still fucking have jobs. Better question, how did this thing survive the y2k bug?

1. If you dont know, say: Let me check that and get back to you.
2. ALWAYS use legit test-data and test-images.
3. Never argue ten minutes about something you can fix in ten minutes.
4. Fuck blame or glory. Just refactor and commit and feel proud about youself.

when you know the code is inefficient but they wanted it fast so you say "fuck it, I'll fix this later", but you never do...

You know how people say insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Those people have never done different things and gotten the same result.

I never have anything useful to say in standups because all my stuff works. which can make it seem like i'm not working on anything.

We're no strangers to code
You know the conventions and so do I
A full commit is what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other dev

I just want to tell you about my problem
Gotta make you solve it for me

Never gonna git you up, never pull you down
Never gonna rant around and rebase you
Never gonna merge your branch, never gonna say $#@*!!
Never gonna risk a cry and build you

I never thought I'd say this but I fucking hate my cousins and relatives.

Money and fame hungry people, constantly judging and excluding if you are not 'cool' enough. Give them attention, obey their orders, spend your money on them if you want to be considered human by them.

They spend 24x7 of their on Instagram with all their activities and gatherings revolving around the core idea of taking pictures and showcasing on Instagram.

All of them have inherited a fuck ton of fortune from their parents and live to spend. Nothing else in their life.

Their ideology is everyone should spend all their money and even if you have $5 in your savings, you are miser.

Cousins and relatives have bullied so much in my childhood that I had to go for therapy before I stabilised a little. They still fuck around and use me.

Now that I am living a better life than what I used to, they have started mocking my parents for it by shaming and excluding them from the family.

Not only I never wished ill but I prayed for their good health and success all my life. But all they did was neglect and ignore me.

Fucking blood sucking bastards. I still don't wish bad but I never thought I'd see this day where I'd hate them so much.

As I have worked really hard for my current life, because unlike them I had no fortune to be inherited, they pick some weak aspect of my life and poke it continuously to the point that it hurts me.

I never felt so alone. If not for my parents, I'd cut off all the times with such scums and move out for a better life with new people in life.

!dev

My toxic father. Seriously man. It's my 4th day of learning to drive with an instructor. He sits besides and never knew how to drive. I think I am driving good wrt to being very new in it. He thinks just because I slow myself down on the road and cannot take a turn properly, let me say it again, on the 4th day of driving a manual car, he thinks I can never drive. What a fucking douchebag. What a fucking coward, impatient human says that. I am in rage because now I'm like 27, but in my childhood he was at his worst behaviour. That's why I was always scared of doing complex things, I stick with easy because I will make no mistakes. He has fucking no right in being proud of me. He's so fucking bad, I hate him. But more than hating him I want to find a way not to give a fuck about his fucking small discouraging shameful opinions. Fucker cannot do anything by himself. He's the most messed up fucking person I have ever seen. And oh god I fucking resent this guy.
I should start calling him a fucking retard that way I can devalue him as a person. I could never thought that I will think about a person like this but this retard left me no choice.
The thing is even a person is a retard I will try to understand them so give me a good word that just devalues a person instantly.

Devranter for less than 2 months and I can already say I've never used a social media (or whatever it is) platform more than devRant :) Thanks to this awesome community!

So I'm flabbergasted at the current trend of non-native Linux gaming becoming so stable and performant. In these past few months, I've witnessed stability akin to native support on games I had never expected to run well on Linux before.

DXVK had its initial release in January 2018, and so far every single game I've thrown it at has run so well that I forget it's non-native.

With front-ends like Lutris, it's easier than ever to get these non-native titles configured perfectly - to say nothing about what Proton offers for UX.

What will the 2nd year of DXVK bring? Extended Support for Windows 7 ends in one year - and I've never seen such stability and capability from Linux gaming parity.

Sent my coworker a LMGTFY link sarcastically, and he legitimately thought it was a great tool for showing people how you search for stuff on the internet.

This same client had never in his 50+ years on this Earth, used a debit or credit card to pay for a meal at a restaurant. Needless to say, we made him use his company card for every meal on the rest of the trip.

He also wears a black trench coat... Everyday.

"We offer competitive salaries!"

Competitive as compared to what? The bottom 10% of salaries in this field? The top 10%?

I could say that I'm a competitive chess player when I'm competing against somebody who's never played chess before.

Why would someone hire you to build a website, constantly say that you don’t know business, never give you anything you ask for, berate you for asking questions about what they want the website to be like, “that’s your job”, all while expecting under $500? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Oh also, they now want an app instead of a website because their generic-ass domain name was taken already. Fffffffffff

Does anyone else love their job? I never thought I would say this but I love Mondays and the work I do in general. I just wish I had more hours in the day.

I booted up windows yesterday night to play some games which is weird for me since I am almost never in the mood

It had to update for like four hours automatically without asking me first so I leave it on and just go to bed

Next day, not really in the mood to play games, as usual

I go to restart into superior distro: Linux

Computer reboots into windows

Try again: fucking windows

Another: malware fills my screen once again

This fucking ass clown overwrote grub

This fucking piece of shit malware deleted my fancy dual boot screen and had the balls to casually say "Hi" while it did it

I then remembered my laptop doesn't have a keyboard combination to select what to boot from. I have to fucking boot my laptop by pressing a pinhole on the side so I can select linux.

Fuck Lenovo with their shitty button and fuck Windows

On the bright side, I guess if anyone steals the laptop they'll never know I have a second OS on it.

*ahem*

You know how people say "you get the gist!", yeah?

...

I don't. 🤔

How can they expect me to GET http-colon-slash-slash-gist-dot-github-dot-com without the rest of the url?

I bet it's stored in that social context I've never been able to access.

THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK 😘

There was a sales manager who was raked with overseeing me and another dev finish a last minute request project. He said at one point to the other dev that he was mad at developers because we understood something that he would never understand.

This same manager would often sit in on estimation meetings and constantly say that we were estimating too high and needed to come up with faster solutions. When we would offer him with caveats of possible technical debt or unintended side-effects/performance issues, he'd want us to go with that solution. He would then complain that we were always wanting to work on technical debt and that our application was slow. He would also ask for very high level estimates for large, unscoped features/apps without any meaningful level of detail, then hold us to the high-level estimated date even after revealing additional features previously unmentioned.

We learned to never compromise on the right solution and to push back hard on dates without proper scoping. They didn't learn, so I and most of the good devs left.

So we are completely burned out with this project that had a fucking generic contract and my boss never had the balls (and never will) to say no to the client's endless requests and changes...

We are about to deliver it once and for all and they complain about one thing that I have already agreed to my boss that we would not do...
We tell the client that it is the case...

They email everyone involved in the project with a high level of drama on it...

I ask my boss, who is on vacation, on directions as to "how" I should tell them the fuck off...

My boss answer: I'm making a script to solve this issue and to avoid further trouble with it...

Ooo you stupid motherfucker! Can't you see you only bring more trouble with that attitude?

Junior coders want to argue about database design saying an employee table in the database does not need a start date and end date because the requirements don't say that. I am doing gold plating he says. He didn't care that I had been doing this over 10 years and he 0 years. Oh yea and by the way I have never been given specific requirements about database design.

How to get me to never respond to your email: make the subject line say "Salesforce ninjaneer wanted!!!"

First of all I don't do salesforce and second ninjaneer is not a word. I hate when people say code ninja or code warrior or any of those other crap phrases. I'm a software developer. Respect that or suck it.

Last day of work. Literally only few more hours before I give up this lifestyle. Feeling little emotional as i look at the screen of my work laptop. It's a Windows 10 Lenovo ideapad .

Gonna miss those days when it made me mad bugging with updates. But it has been good to me, did more than i expected from it. I kept it turned on since half year or so and contrary to popular belief about it's race, it never disappointed me. We had our little secrets going on. Time to wipe them off and say goodbye. 😿

Never believe management when they say something is broken/easy.

"Good design means never having to say 'Click Here.'" - Shawn Leslie

"I don’t think of myself as an artist. I know some designers consider themselves such, but I can’t. This is not to say that I don’t hope that our work has artistic merit. Anyway, I never know how someone could proclaim himself or herself to be an ‘artist’; I think it should be a designation best left for others to bestow, much like ‘genius’ and ‘asshole’." - Alexander Isley

Do you ever cringe on the code you've written a few years before?
When I started as an intern in the same company I'm working for now, I was a solo dev on an internal tool.
It's web based and used for employee management.
I've cloned the repo to see how I did.
And to say the least, I wish I had an experienced dev to oversee me...
I'll never leave an intern unattended from now on if I know about them.

Never thought I'd say this but...I wish IE6 was back for Outlook.

//After Outlook 2003, Microsoft decided that MS Word was a better renderer for emails than IE6 was, what the hell Microsoft?! Get it together man.

me: import express from 'express';

my IDE: quick fix: remove import express from 'express'; ('express' is declared but its value is never read.)

me: // you don't say, as I only just started typing!

I love you devRant

I'm heading to bed here pretty quickly, but before I lay down I just wanted to say something.

I've been a long time lurker, but have just recently registered as a member. Whenever I get a chance to, I have the urge to open up devRant and take a scroll through recent posts. You guys are the best, and give me something to chuckle at. It's just really great and refreshing to find a community that is supportive, and full of so many inspiring people. It's like Shangri-La - the hidden community that you always knew existed, but could never find

Ive never used vim. In my life. I've never had the need to.

It was only yesterday while I was installing a new relic plugin to my MySQL server when the plugin installed opened vim for me to add some configurations. Took me about a minute to add the configs, and another 20 minutes to figure out how to quit vim.

Gotta say that I'm more comfortable making HTML websites with pretty CSS animations in sublime text than working in VIM!!! 👀

!dev

I hate it when people ask me questions that are easily googleable. I'm sorry but, please, don't waste both of our time on asking things like how to make a screenshot on an iPhone...
1. I have an android
2. Hey, you know this magical thing called Google?
3. You do know it? Oh my, good for you! Now try using it, thnx.

Unfortunately, I can never say this out loud. I just silently Google for them and send them a link. Perhaps, I need to grow some balls :D
Okay, never mind, said it once in a more polite form, and the dude replied with "fuck you, you female developers are such arrogant bitches", then he unmatched me. Good story, fun times.

I found weird that some developer never ask why when facing a problem. "What do you mean never ask why?" here some story.

Let's say a developer work with simple app. Laravel as Backend and Postgresql as Database. He face a problem that the app very slow when searching data.

In order to solve that problem he implement cache using redis but he found problem that it fast occasionally. In order to solve that problem he implement elasticsearch because he think elasticsearch very good for search but he found another problem that sometimes data on postgresql out of sync with data on elasticsearch. In order to solve that problem he implement cronjobs to fix out of sync data but he found another problem that cronjobs cannot fix out of sync data in real time. and so on...

Do you see the problem? He never ask why the app slow. Which part search the data? Backend or Database (Search in the Backend mostly slower than Database because Backend have to get all data on database first). Has the query been optimized? (limit offset, indexing). How about the internet connection? etc.

For me it's important to ask why when facing a problem and try to solve the problem as simple as possible.

Me: I have so much to do! How the hell am I going to get all this done?!

**hears someone say something about some framework/library I don't know**

Me: hmmm let me google that real quick then I'll get back to work...

**3 hours later**

Me: damnit! I'm never going to get my work done!

Best:Working for people with money and crazy projects in mind. Working for dreamers. Working for people that believe in you, as a decision maker, stack choices. Choose not to be a pawn.

Worst: not leaving a company when they indiscriminately lie in the job offer. HR will never say bug fixing (that's like going to a date saying you have a micropenis from the beggining), they will say integrations, product improvement... If then all the tickets are bug fixing i should have said something in the first month.

For those who had already followed my story here, a while ago I was in bad hands having several employers not professionally consistent (unfortunately).

Soon like any professional, I went in search of other jobs and looking for something better for me. I did several interviews with several recruiters around the world (massively trying to go to Europe).

Some never gave me feedback, they never wanted to at least respond to messages, emails or direct messages on LinkedIn.

Until one day a company whose owners are of the same nationality as mine opened the doors for me I came to Europe to work for a client of theirs and that client absorbed me in his company and today I am their CTO.

And magically all those recruiters from different nationalities appeared with the old man "hey, remember me ?! So about that interview, it really didn't work, right? But now I have another *** opportunity ***, how are you? Available for a conversation?"

I have already made several selection processes in my professional life, and I never failed to answer a candidate (that's right, everyone, even negative feedbacks) and I am proud of that. I am a dev and I still did the only job that HR should have done, it gives feedback.

With a lot of joy in my heart I say that the game has turned.

!rant

Can I just say that the devducks in the store are a genius freakin' idea? I'm definitely going to pick one up once I get some cash (which is never).

But seriously, those are really cool. And I want one.

@dfox what would you say about a "following" feature?

Because I've noticed some absolute regular golden rants coming from some of the same ranters on here and would be cool to never miss the stuff they come out with.

When you've got two unpublished side project Android apps that you need to put the polishing touches on, a passion project website that you've half started, a new job that you probably should study for, and you say to yourself: "there's no Windows live tile that does this particular thing that I want. Guess I'll learn how to make them."

Also, is it just me, or should developing live tiles be way more straight forward? I know it's like the least hip thing I could be making, but I've never claimed to be a hip person.

“You will never be good enough.”
I say to the scented wax warmer as I leave the bathroom.

It is exactly 4 in the morning and instead of sleeping i am crying so hard because the regret of going to college is eating me alive..... I feel like such a wasted fucking potential, a failure who can't provide money for my family in need because i focus studying shit i will never use for over 4 fucking years....... I can not fucking describe how much i regret going to college, i can safely say i would rather go and fucking die than go to fucking college........ Can't even sleep from this fucking bullshit i feel i am wasting my fucking life and losing my fucking mind on this.............

Priceless advice to all. Never agree to work on a project where graphic designers are overseeing it. You will be installing a scripty handwritten font the week before go live, changing out images but the ecommerce portion has not yet been implemented much less tested. I thought I would be implementing a typical Shopify site but no it is "story telling" they say. Oh yeah go live is 4 days away.

Best:

- survived 2020 and all its woes.
RIP those that didn't.

- delivered a major project this year that felt like it never wanted to end.
Scope creep.... nope, scope realignment kills the soul.

- hired a competent dev!!! 🥳 Not being a SoloDev is a weird feeling!

- pay rise during a pandemic, that was a nice touch.

Worst:

- dealt with several useless contractors and ended up redoing most of the work myself.

- don't lie to me when you say you *can* do something, only to throw yourself into a complex rabbit hole you can't dig yourself out of.

- major project took 500% longer then originally scoped - it was only meant to be a tight 6 weeks, not an excruciating never ending list of changes and rebuilds 🤯
good thing I get paid regardless - but I don't think the burnout was worth the while.

2021:

- let's see what the world has on offer to try and burn me out of existence this time!

Rust devs on social media are the vegans of the programming world.

Yeah, we get it, you like your hot new programming language. I'm not bashing the language, I've never used it so I'd have no right to say anything about it.

But holy hell, you guys don't have to show up in every discussion about programming languages that aren't Rust to evangelicize how great Rust is. Like damn, there could be a thread on Twitter about Python and you'd be like "yeah Python's great but have you ever heard of our lord and savior, Jesus cRUST?"

Just shut up lol.

The Windows SDK was failing to install because the version of vcredist was newer then it needed.

The setup simply failed without saying anything about that. I had to see the log and find out that vcredist failed to installed with error code 5100 and find that out from Google how to fix that.

Why is MS like this? Why not just say that your vcredist version is too new for this program? Just unistall it and it will be fixed?

I just wasted 2 hours behind this. If my work never needed it I would never even think about using this.

What is this behavior WFH?

(Video Call)

Boss: When will you send the report?

He: Have already mailed you

Boss: Your voice is breaking...

He: Have already mailed it

Boss: What? I'm asking when can you send the report?

He: Mailed... Already... Check... Inbox...

Boss: Your voice is breaking... Say that again

He: HAVE... MAILED... ALREADY

Boss: It's not ready ?? Just tell me when can you send it to me...

He: Aghh... NEVER.

Boss: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEVER ????

He: ... *Silent*

Boss: ... *Silent*

He: Boss, can't hear you clearly... Your voice is breaking... ;)

Credits: Rahul Subramanian, Standup Comedian.

!dev

I want to say to my cheating whore of an ex, you were never worth the time nor the effort. You are my only regret in life. There are actually way more pretty and nice and probably honest girls than you'll ever be!

A friend of my mom asks me transfer some files from her hard disk to her pendrive because I am supposedly *good with computers*.

As an obedient son, I go to her house to do the needful.

I switch on the laptop and plug both right in. At this point, I am wondering if this really my life is for.

Lost in my thoughts, I accidentally format her hard disk. Now I freak out. Seeing no possible way out, I remove both and say her work is done.

I quickly leave the house and never look back. To this day, I have never gone back to her house.

Riddle me this

Client wants solution based on open source software.

Any additional software that I write (let's say, an offline store plugin for Feast feature store) to add missing functionality has to be closed source.

Fuck you. Intellectual property my ass. You and me wouldn't even have projects if it werent for OSS.

Good luck maintaining the plugin after I am gone.

I'm doing a lot of work and will have close to nothing to show to future employers.

(BTW, if it were for the old Microsoft model of code source, I would have never become a programmer of any sort. God bless OSS)

I'm so fkin happyyyyyy!!
2 months ago a friend hits me up and says "lets make a fkin website"
I had no knowledge of web dev and didn't take it seriously cuz "web dev is for losers who can't code, also they get paid in peanuts" as stated by someone I highly respected back in school.

Fuck him.
It's all changed.
I never thought I'd say this.
But web dev is the best thing I've picked up in 3 years

Been making steady progress in js, php, sql then picked up jquery and made a few dynamic test sites. God it was so fkin satisfactory. Started node- it's intimidating but I'll get the hang of it soon and thinking of starting vue or ember as soon as I'm confident in all the stuff I've picked up. Oh and friend's website?
Fuck that it's a trash concept. I still thanked him for getting me to start web dev and moved on.
I still have my roots in c++ and Python and I'll never forget them but I think this may be the start of a wonderful journey. Be sure to burst my bubble I'm just a noob now

I'm the only one who after saying "nah, come on, I will backup it tomorrow, what could happen?", spends the day after by reinstalling Windows (after an awesome crash) and praying that the project he was working on for months is still there?

I was told the other dev hadn't enough time anymore to maintain this 20-year-old project, because he did it in his free time and we should transition from working together, learning the code, etc to me maintaining the whole thing with the other dev providing the knowledge about his program.

So, we had one meeting where I got the current state of the program and never really heard from the other dev again.

This thing was written in C and quite a mess (it still is, who needs refactoring...) and I have never programmed in C before. Needless to say, I learnt a lot.

Teacher: "Classes and methods are pretty similar in java and c#. But in c they are a little different"
Me: "u cereal?"

Never say something you don't know shit about

I hate when some programmers say that goto should NEVER be used. It's clear that in common cases is not needed but there are situations where goto is the best solution

I am so fucking happy with the windows October update!

Never thought I'd be able to say the stable windows 10 builds are more unstable and prone to fatal errors than a rolling release Linux distro, now if only more Devs would port there fucking software to Linux *eye twitches*

I want to pause my music so I can focus, but I have two co-workers right next to me who are working in a problem. I could take my laptop somewhere else, but I would rather they just shut the hell up, or go book a damn conference room.

I could just say that .. or just be lazy and post about it on dev rant. 😅

Also, fuck open workspaces. I never though I'd miss the cubical, but the open work space is a new level of hell.

Worked on PDF creation in PHP all day. Was really intrigued because I never did that before and learned some new stuff. Nevertheless it's pretty annoying and repetitive to build files in this format. So in the end of the day I can't say if I was productive.

I think God is a developer. I have to say a most impressive feat, even for God, is the idiot algorithm. It has persisted through millennia of attempts to remove it, but it just keeps refining itself. While it's incredibly brief, its functions are yet to find an environment in which they cannot operate. It's full adaptable to any task, impressively modular, and self replicating.

No matter how what problem you present it with the idiot algorithm can always find a solution. It never leaves well enough alone. It can even give you an answer before everything is fully processed!

People say that if you make your hobby your job you will never get bored but isn't it that if you make your hobby your job you would eventually get bored??

"We'll reach you out soon"

This is a sign you got rejected without hurting you.

"How do you see yourself few years from now?"
Is a sign that your employer would end your contract or you get to be terminated if you say that you will not be in their company.

"What's your expected salary?"
If you went overboard, they won't accept you. You either lower it or never give a fixed salary.

God why did no one tell me about these sooner. I'm facing mind-reading interviewer/recruiter/hr just to please them.

I gotta say I never understood owning a Roomba until my wife got me an off-brand Deebot one for my birthday. I named it “The Kraken”, as in “release the...” because it sees nothing and devours all. My kids can now rest easy because they won’t hear me complain about how the floor is always dirty and how nobody wants to vacuum but me. Now I just fire up the app, hit “Auto”, and The Kraken cleans my house. It even mops! I feel bad for the doggo, though.

Sometimes when I'm telling my boss how to do something on his computer or I am watching him explaining something to me and he seems like a fucking lost infant that never used a fucking computer in his life I just wanna say loud and firmly:

"What the fuck man? Can't you fucking just click this shit already? Your fucking mouse pointer is on it already, click this motherfucker for once!"

I'm not a dev, but I visit this site due to its overwhelming sanity. That said, I have two bests:

First: Never thought I'd say it, but having Windows as opposed to Mac has continued to keep me from going batshit cray. I liken my relationship with Mac to a marriage that started out wonderfully and wound up in a field of acrimony, broken promises, and literal hatred.

Second: This site, as mentioned above.

After two months of working on the new version I've finally decided to compile everything. I must say I was pretty confident that everything would compile pretty well.
I've never been so wrong in my life xD

Never say “work done for today” before commit

I've been using visual studio for years and always found debugging pretty fun. At my new job I have to use xcode and FUCK DEBUGGING IN THAT ILLEIGBLE SHIT TIER DEBUGGER. and fuck objective-c, at least you can ignore the objective part and just code c..
I never thought I would say this, but damn, I miss Microsoft.

Installed Ubuntu 18.04 on my system. It feels so good to be back after a year and half approx. It feels refreshing using 18.04, let's see how much time can it hold me. Maybe I'll go on arch after this, last 2 times have been disastrous, but they say 3rd time's the charm. I never found who the fuck "they" is represented everywhere in these type of lines.

!Rant

"The best programming language is C++ because games were made with it" OH MY FUCKING GOD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Do you guys get this unbelievable dump statement too? I could punch every person who ever said dat 😑 Not is is absolutely wrong, C++ isn't even a got language! It's painfully FUCKING slow!! Why the fuck do people say something before they get their freaking brain to work! 😑😑😑

I FUCKING HATE ARGUING WITH THOSE PEOPLE. THEY NEVER ACCEPT OTHER OPINIONS.

GOD DAMN IT!

I have to say one of the most annoying things in software development is building tools that will never be really used by clients, sometimes clients just want something new and shiny and once they get it off it goes into a dark closet of no use to gather webs

People are so cheap. I hear people say things like "Frontend Masters is too expensive." I'm pretty sure that I just got 2k of value in the last 3 hours... Maybe those people aren't 'cheap' per say - but more generally, don't understand the concept of value. I'm sure they see that attribute in their clients, but never themselves. Better for me I suppose!

Now that I'm home feels like starting a new life.
I had millions of these new life but I have no choice but to start again !

All I can say is that I just wish I was a robot ! Logical ... Restless ... Powerful ... Ever lasting !!
Non sense ! I know I can never be a robot !!

Built an iPhone app for free for a local nonprofit. This directly lands me a part time well paid internship offer.

And they say you should never work for free

!rant

Guys, I had my first REAL developer interview today. Without jinxing myself, I'd like to say it went really good. We discussed the companys upcoming projects, what they expect from a new developer, etc. but some thing that bothers me about it is there was never any discussion about my expected compensation. I'm not sure if this is common or not, but we'll see.

Oh,I have learned a lot, I would not say from programming but from the career as a whole

Never get peer pressured
Always show empathy
If in a leading position, taking care of people is your top priority
Overconfidence will destroy a lot of good work
People by definition will always remember your mistakes
Never get over involved in the company you are working for, it's just a job
Your health is more than important
Nobody knows everything
Always be humble
There is a lot of bullshitters out there
Success is relative
Competition is high and there is always someone with better skill set, so you will suffer if you don't accept that

Never launch on the front camera!

There is not a single reason for a mobile phone camera software to launch on the front camera. Programmers of the software might believe it is "smart to memorize the last used camera", but in actuality, launching on the front camera is a common reason for not being able to capture events fast ehough.

Did the developers really think users will say "oh thank you, dear camera app, for not forgetting the last camera I used!" ?

Or, likelier than not, will they end up taking a selfie while the moment passes by behind the phone?

Passed out college this year...
Got a job too (lucky 😀)
Now all juniors are asking me how to prepare for placements... N keeps asking my resume..
And m saying everyone same stuff.. DS and algo is must.. n chk my LinkedIn for resume..
Soon, seems like m gonna tell them join devRant first and then I will say further..
Note: Placement starts in few weeks and they care now on how to prepare for it.. Folks say it's better to start late than never.. but still.. I wud love to help them but asking same questions repeatedly not gonna help them..

So you all think that coffee is the best energy brewage? I can say that it isnt! At least for me...

I ate a dark chocolate bar a.p. 10pm yesterday and i couldnt even go to sleep. In the morning i have never felt so awake before and i managed to get to the lecture not on a tram but by foot...

Also my depression is gone and i want to fix my life

Got an update for Firefox 😊 ->
Updated Firefox 🎉 ->
Got a sticky popup that asks if I would answer 3 review questions, why not? 🙄 ->
Went to a fucking website that uses my fucking IP to identify my fucking language automatically, and the result is the one you can see in the image,
half fucking German and half fucking English,
meanwhile I'm the turd from fucking Italy!

Firefox, I didn't knew you like it 🤬 black (pattern(UX))

Message for ALL, take my example and WHENEVER THERE'S A TURD THAT SUGGESTS TO IMPLEMENT THE fucking LOCALIZATION BASED ON IP ADDRESSES, SAY THAT IT DOESN'T WORK, NEVER WORKED(not my first time elsewhere on the web) AND NEVER FUCKING WILL 😤

There is like a dozen shows streaming on how actual impostors imposted the shit out of people.

I never claimed to be the heir of a machine that can make art out of deposits of a single drop of blood to dozens of people on dating apps.
I never said that I can double their bitcoins by harvesting carbon monoxide and recycling plastic into endangered fauna, expanding the mind of humanity.
I never got private-jet levels of money to do something I knew to be completely impossible from the beginning.

If I ever feel like an impostor, I could honestly say that make for a very lousy one.
I guess I've got impostor syndrome squared - I feel like I'm really bad at impostor-ing, but people could be thinking that I am better at pretending to pretend to be something I actually am.

Hi guys. I'm totaly new to git and github. I visit it from time to time but I never contributed.(i know, my description lied, a bit. i forgot to update it to say yesterday, a week ago etc.). I just created my first repo. I want to know where would be a good place to start to learn about it and know how to structure it and etc?

So it's officially a month into my new job...

I have to say, sometimes life can surprise you, I never expected things to go down so smoothly especially after getting fired from my previous one.

My manager is just an amazing super friendly guy, great colleagues with positive attitudes, positive work environment, better benefits, the list goes on...

Honestly I would say the biggest con is I now work 45hrs/week instead of 35, which might be a dealbreaker for some but I also work in the cloud industry which is honestly miles ahead than the UAT testing crap I used to do, plus the company pays for your certifications after you pass, so it's a small price to pay imo.

If any of you are struggling with a shitty job/work environment don't give up, out of all the places I worked at I never felt appreciated until I came here, keep on grinding.

I hate React. I keep reading that people have problem of grasping it, but that's not the case for me. I get it, I understand it, but I hate with passion HOW it's done knowing how nice it's done elsewhere. What really triggers me is how ugly it looks, both from architecture and code level. To me it really say a lot when even code shown in documentation looks ugly, and while reading it you ask ourself constantly "why it's done this way?". When I read React being called an "elegant" solution something explodes in me. Did you saw Svelte? Vue? Damn, even Alpine.js?
I just cannot how overengineered this API is. Even doing simplest things there produces so much junk code written only because this is what library requires. Why? I feel like working with it is a punishment.
And scalability and maintainability? I've never seen large-scale projects more messed up than those wrote with React. And yes, you can blame teams working on them for lack of skills, but it is the library which encourages or not good practices also, and I've never seen such bad situation with other libraries/frameworks.

I've worked with few incompetent people till now, but one guy who stands out is my peer who is a "Lead Developer".

First of all he knows nothing!! Even Jon Snow knows something, but this guy knows absolutely nothing. And on top of that he has a hard ass attitude. Never sticks to coding standards, pushes unwanted configuration files to Git, uses too many nested loops even when not even a single one is required.

And when I suggest him something, he starts giving these lame ass reasons and tries to avoid my comments. Then I say, "good luck with that buddy" and move on!!

After 337 Days, I am back again only to say:
Fuck you "Twitter For Developers". I would never ask you for API access anymore.
Fuck you and your fucking policy.
Fuck you and your fucking SMS Service that does not send the fucking SMS.
Fuck you and your fucking API.

Quote by Uncle Bob: “Never forget that, as programmers, you are stakeholders too. Your technical and ethical reputation is on the line. You have a say. You also have feet.”

Going for an interview with them asking me to open console on their laptop and type a 1 liner in JavaScript that will make an array with indices being numeric values 1-20. Their machine doesnt want to work and never wanted to log in... So i do the following:

1.Pull out my phone
2.Open Thermux
3.Ask for wifi password
4.Install node on my phone and write the below attached code

Needless to say. I actually feel good about myself, i got the job and a good offer and the network password...

Again found myself before deadline. My excuse? I'm more productive during the deadline rush :D
How everyone else sees it: you fucked up
What do I say to myself: never again!!!
```
sleep(until_next_deadline);
goto begining_of_this_post;
```

I never had a good boss, I've got two of the worst stereotypes of boss :
- the exigeant non-tech thinking he knows tech that asked to make an Android app for 1000€ and forgot to say he wanted an iOS app also
- The typical "fonctionnaire" (don't know if there is an equivalent in English, it's a state worker in France) manager, who thought his work was the only important work, who made me do a work I would have done in two weeks in 6 month

All software sucks, I overheard a colleague say. I used to be proud of what I wrote, but after 20 years I realize that I am never going to write perfect code. It may be good enough, but if that's all, than my colleague may be right. What a relief :)

I don't know what shall be the hill I die on, the subject my children and I will never agree, the thing that will make future generations condemn mine as irredeemable bigots.
I am sure I have no idea what currently ridiculous notion will be the one I shall be thought as a dinosaur for refusing to accept.
I guess it will have something to do with AI.
Nevertheless, I say for sure:
CARS SHOULD NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO VOTE!

I wasn't with this company pre-pandemic. The people that were with the company had no idea that they wouldn't be with the company when the pandemic hit, so everything was sort of in a half state when my team was formed and picked it up 2 years later. Not their fault, I get it.

Well...mostly not their fault. Never in the history of good ideas, did anyone ever say "Hey, we should have these 15 variables named Object{number}!" Yes, 15 of them. And they are set `Object3 = object3Variable`. I wish I could make this up, but I can't, and it makes me sad.

(Apprentice dev)
Cut me some slack ;)

Learning JavaScript for a few days To a week to familiarise myself with it and really get to grips with it.

Then have to go on to jQuery which is a lot a fun I must say, very easy structured framework to learn and found myself getting really engrossed into it.

Now for the past few days I've been learning angular1 which is a really cool framework, can be a little bit complicated at times but it is learnable

Moral of the story is you never stop learning! Which isn't a bad thing by the way I'm finding web developing a lot of fun!

How can I contribute on github, I always say that I will yet I never do?Any tips?

of all the technologies that never came to be, I have to say gmail blue is the one I hoped for most

Vertically aligning text with CSS is the bane of my existence.

Say what you will about tables, valign="middle" never let me down, and I could move on to shit that's actually interesting!

SHOCK CONTENT PROCEED WITH CAUTION

Star tattoos on knees means "I'll never be on my knees for cops", "I'll never do what cops say" in russian criminal culture. However, these tattoos are dangerous. Russian cops don't like them. If you're just arrived to a russian prison and they see the tattoos (and they see it), they tie your legs the way that makes you knees face the ground, then two cops hold you and drag you around the huge asphalt prison yard until there is no stars on your knees, only the naked kneecap bones or lack thereof.

I have to leave but it's psychologically hard because russia is the country that gaslighted and threatened me into becoming a slave. It's a stockholm syndrome and I want to break it.

I’ve never bothered to try Linux as past experiences with it is not as amazing as people say. What advantages does Linux have to Windows? And it terms of real life usage, such as developing software or websites for a local company, why choose Linux over Windows when the majority of the companies users would use Windows anyway?

All I can think is that I should have a computer specifically for Linux so I can still test things on a Windows computer.

These fucking calendar e-mails. Fuck. Right. Off.

They never display correctly in all clients.

If the meeting is at 1pm, just fucking say that. I don't want to pick through a load of shit only to find that the calendar app lied about UTC.

Just missed a sodding call due to this crap.

Thomas had never seen such bullshit before (Insert name of that guy, who thinks Apple is hyped, and needs better password resets).

Honestly, when people say Indians are shit devs and write shit code, I could not really relate to that. I am an Indian, and I see pretty well educated, telented devs around.

Now I know why everyone else feels so.

I am sorry for his doings, people like him are the reason everybody hates us

Started working with React Native a week ago because of work, and I just hate it. I know it has better performance then, lets say Ionic, but holy shit its a torture for me to work in it. I never was, and will be a fan of React, so imagine working with it for 8 hours a day..

What are your guys thoughts on Stackoverflow? I feel like no matter what I say on there, whether it be a question, comment, answer, it’s never good enough for someone. Everyone there just seems so rude for no reason. Do you guys have the same experiences? Just curious if it’s only me or it is like this for everyone.

So I've been programming for a while now in various languages like C#, JavaScript, etc. I have never understood how to do OOP until I watched the MVA videos on Microsoft's website and I have to say, its made me love C# more and made things so much easier to understand!

I'm already thinking about rewriting my personal projects from scratch lol.

The customer wanted me to create a password for their database. I made it the name of the software and appended b4lls.

Whenever I tell him what the password is I spell out the software with the b at the end, say "the number four", then lls. He has never repeated "oh, softwareballs", I am not sure he has noticed.

So the other day I was talking to my gf about how it was crowdy in the metro area and how big the queue was for ticket, she said 'You should never say it was a big queue but it was a long queue' and I said 'It wasn't a big queue but it was a double queue' and I started laughing.
My gf being from a non technical background didn't understand why I was laughing so much.

Never get distracted.

Actually I dont but the website makes the distraction.

Currently, I am working on task and has deadline by tomorrow.
Try to find solutions over portals like SO etc etc.

In SO, I am going through the question comments and answers; yoh see hot questions. I love those. They always attract me.

And devRant to post about it.
Now you can say, why my deadline still on my neck

"Programmers Know Everything"

Im writing this as myself cause, well this tends to happen to me alot!

When ever a friend or a friend of a friend has an issue with a website or just their computer they run to me, which is all fine but if I say "I dunno? I never heard of this issue so I do not know how to fix the problem."
Their response is normal "But dont you do websites? Surely you know how to fix a virus or bluescreens ?? "

I'm still looking for a job after more than two months. Never thought I'd say this but after all these interviews I'm starting to prefer live coding tests over take home assignments. You spend a few hours preparing by reading interview guides (the interviewers usually get their questions from these same guides) and then you either do well or fuck up but it's all over in a few hours and you move on with your life.

So this guy, was my teacher in college, and he started involving me in projects outside school, after that he recommended me to my current employer and is currently a guy I consider my personal friend. But the hest thing is that he has never cuf me some slack, he always challenges me to understand the why of the how haha, I can actually say that I have gotten to where I am because of him

Maybe I am just a fucking idiot, but I don’t get error handling at all. I’m always torn between what level the error should go, where it should go, and what to even do about it. Why has this burden of choice plagued me?!?

It’s like this question I can never figure out. How to react to certain things appropriately, because who can say that and be 100% correct about their opinion.

I wanted to take a minute from y'all sucking on each other's dicks regarding language/tech-stack/os/editor wars to mention that Netflix just premiered Saint Seiya(here in the U.S don't know about the rest of the world) and it is pretty sweet.

Evangelion is in it as well, so if you've never had the chance to watch it and would like to well there is a nice chance :D

BTW bets are on: at least 1 or 2 fgits will say some shit about Netflix.

Never have i ever _____

<anchor link> for `tel:` makes no sense to add a title tag but you almost have to so I add title="tap to call"> which of course will never get seen by a phone DOM. Hmmmm, what say you W3C?

!rant

@dfox @trogus

I just watched the "die bastard die" cartoon and have to say it's fucking excellent.

I never actually laugh out loud at these things, but this made me piss myself a little bit.

Well played.