Me: PHP, please load the images.
PHP: No.
Me: Come on PHP, the deadline is tonight.
PHP: Haha nope.
Me: What if I swap the libraries?
PHP: Still no.
Me: What if I add a symlink?
PHP: No. And also I hate you.
Me: *gives up and sends an email to the client saying we have to delay the release*
PHP: lololol jk here's the images haha
Me: :/

Nike's robots.txt says "just crawl it"

Every. Single. Time.

So there was an inspection from government for our bank's IT security. I gave a tour to our server and security systems. I threw all possible acronyms as much as I could remember. Inspector nodded and noted down never uttered a word.

Finally, he breaks his silence, looking at a device he points out and says "What's that ?"

I look at the device then stare at his face back again at the device and to his face I reply "That's AC, Air Conditioner".

I thought i'd see what the avatars look like with different color eyes.
I personally like red. It really brings out the undying hatred I have for my peers.

devRant should add a polls feature for simple questions with yes no answers or what version of linux people use etc maybe?

*came in this morning to see this conversation in slack from the remote teams*

Dev: Hey guys, I'm trying to push to the develop branch, telling me its locked. Is there a new process?

Lead dev: Yes I locked it because the repo is now dead, the last release that went out is the last for this year and ever for this app. Were merging this app with another, starting from the last release's code. We'll all have to swap over to the new repo soon.

Dev: ... eh ok I didn't put anything in the last release branch as it wasn't urgent. Normally our process is anything in /develop goes out in the new year. I've been merging to /develop for the last few weeks ... is that code now gone?
*14 question mark emoji reactions*

Lead dev: Yes
*27 angry emoji reactions*

Engineering manager: WHAT? when was this decided? When was it communicated?

Lead dev: oh I assumed my product counterpart had been spreading the messages around, have they not?

Several teams: no, nope, first i'm hearing of it.

Lead dev: Ok, i'll ask them what happened. Be aware then that most of the stuff thats going into develop now, most likely won't be allowed in until March. They want to prioritise releasing this new merged app and don't want anything to impact it.

Dev: So wait, i'm working on stuff now. What do I do? Where do I base the branch? Where do I merge?

<no response>

*My team comes into the office*

Dev: eeehhh ... what does this mean for our past 4 weeks of work? and all the stuff needed to go out in January?

Me: not.a.fucking.clue

Just realized I'm using an almost decade old Acer aspire laptop for programming. And its still useful because Linux.

My boyfriend is in dental school and I am, of course, a dev. So we often swap analogies to help each other better understand what we are talking (or usually complaining) about. My favorite one so far is when I was explaining to him how the sales team undersells websites without consulting developers and we are constantly over budget. So he goes, "That's like the receptionist telling the patient they have 2 cavities just by looking at them and having them pay immediately. And when the dentist takes a look, the patient actually needs 4 crowns and a root canal... but they already paid for just the 2 cavities."

My first job: The Mystery of The Powered-Down Server

I paid my way through college by working every-other-semester in the Cooperative-Education Program my school provided. My first job was with a small company (now defunct) which made some of the very first optical-storage robotic storage systems. I honestly forgot what I was "officially" hired for at first, but I quickly moved up into the kernel device-driver team and was quite happy there.

It was primarily a Solaris shop, with a smattering of IBM AIX RS/6000. It was one of these ill-fated RS/6000 machines which (by no fault of its own) plays a major role in this story.

One day, I came to work to find my team-leader in quite a tizzy -- cursing and ranting about our VAR selling us bad equipment; about how IBM just doesn't make good hardware like they did in the good old days; about how back when _he_ was in charge of buying equipment this wouldn't happen, and on and on and on.

Our primary AIX dev server was powered off when he arrived. He booted it up, checked logs and was running self-diagnostics, but absolutely nothing so far indicated why the machine had shut down. We blew a couple of hours trying to figure out what happened, to no avail. Eventually, with other deadlines looming, we just chalked it up be something we'll look into more later.

Several days went by, with the usual day-to-day comings and goings; no surprises.

Then, next week, it happened again.

My team-leader was LIVID. The same server was hard-down again when he came in; no explanation. He opened a ticket with IBM and put in a call to our VAR rep, demanding answers -- how could they sell us bad equipment -- why isn't there any indication of what's failing -- someone must come out here and fix this NOW, and on and on and on.

(As a quick aside, in case it's not clearly coming through between-the-lines, our team leader was always a little bit "over to top" for me. He was the kind of person who "got things done," and as long as you stayed on his good side, you could just watch the fireworks most days - but it became pretty exhausting sometimes).

Back our story -
An IBM CE comes out and does a full on-site hardware diagnostic -- tears the whole server down, runs through everything one part a time. Absolutely. Nothing. Wrong.

I recall, at some point of all this, making the comment "It's almost like someone just pulls the plug on it -- like the power just, poof, goes away."

My team-leader demands the CE replace the power supply, even though it appeared to be operating normally. He does, at our cost, of course.

Another weeks goes by and all is forgotten in the swamp of work we have to do.

Until one day, the next week... Yes, you guessed it... It happens again. The server is down. Heads are exploding (will at least one head we all know by now). With all the screaming going on, the entire office staff should have comped some Advil.

My team-leader demands the facilities team do a full diagnostic on the UPS system and assure we aren't getting drop-outs on the power system. They do the diagnostic. They also review the logs for the power/load distribution to the entire lab and office spaces. Nothing is amiss.

This would also be a good time draw the picture of where this server is -- this particular server is not in the actual server room, it's out in the office area. That's on purpose, since it is connected to a demo robotics cabinet we use for testing and POC work. And customer demos. This will date me, but these were the days when robotic storage was new and VERY exciting to watch...

So, this is basically a couple of big boxes out on the office floor, with power cables running into a special power-drop near the middle of the room. That information might seem superfluous now, but will come into play shortly in our story.

So, we still have no answer to what's causing the server problems, but we all have work to do, so we keep plugging away, hoping for the best.

The team leader is insisting the VAR swap in a new server.

One night, we (the device-driver team) are working late, burning the midnight oil, right there in the office, and we bear witness to something I will never forget.

The cleaning staff came in.

Anxious for a brief distraction from our marathon of debugging, we stopped to watch them set up and start cleaning the office for a bit.

Then, friends, I Am Not Making This Up(tm)... I watched one of the cleaning staff walk right over to that beautiful RS/6000 dev server, dwarfed in shadow beside that huge robotic disc enclosure... and yank the server power cable right out of the dedicated power drop. And plug in their vacuum cleaner. And vacuum the floor.

We each looked at one-another, slowly, in bewilderment... and then went home, after a brief discussion on the way out the door.

You see, our team-leader wasn't with us that night; so before we left, we all agreed to come in late the next day. Very late indeed.

I think I've shown in my past rants and comments that I'm pretty experienced. Looking back though, I was really fucking stupid. Since I haven't posted a rant yet on the weekly topics, I figure I would share this humbling little gem.

Way back in the ancient era known as 2009, I was working my first desk job as a "web designer". Apparently the owner of this company didn't know the difference between "designer", which I'm not, and "developer", which I am, nor the responsibilities of each role.

It was a shitty job paying $12/hour. It was such a nightmare to work at. I guess the silver lining is that this company now no longer exists as it was because of my mistake, but it was definitely a learning experience I hold in high regard even today. Okay, enough filler...

I was told to wipe the Dev server in order to start fresh and set up an entirely new distro of Linux. I was to swap out the drives with whatever was available from the non-production machines, set up the RAID 5 array and route it through the router and firewall, as we needed to bring this Dev server online to allow clients to monitor the work. I had no idea what any of this meant, but I was expected to learn it that day because the next day I would be commencing with the task.

Astonishingly, I managed to set up the server and everything worked great! I got a pat on the back and the boss offered me a 4 day weekend with pay to get some R&R. I decided to take the time to go camping. I let him know I would be out of town and possibly unreachable because of cell service, to which he said no problem.

Tuesday afternoon I walked into work and noticed two of the field techs messing with the Dev server I built. One was holding a drive while the other was holding a clipboard. I was immediately called into the boss's office.

He told me the drives on the production server failed during the weekend, resulting in the loss of the data. He then asked me where I got the drives from for the Dev server upgrade. I told him that they came from one of the inactive systems on the shelf. What he told me next through the deafening screams rendered me speechless.

I had gutted the drives from our backup server that was just set up the week prior. Every Friday at midnight, it would turn on through a remote power switch on a schedule, then the system would boot and proceed to copy over the production server's files into an archive for that night and shutdown when it completed. Well, that last Friday night/Saturday morning, the machine kicked on, but guess what didn't happen? The files weren't copied. Not only were they not copied, but the existing files that got backed up previously we're gone. Why? Because I wiped those drives when I put them into the Dev server.

I would up quitting because the conversation was very hostile and I couldn't deal with it. The next week, I was served with a suit for damages to this company. Long story short, the employer was found in the wrong from emails I saved of him giving me the task and not once stating that machine was excluded in the inactive machines I could salvage drives from. The company sued me because they were being sued by a client, whose entire company presence was hosted by us and we lost the data. In total just shy of 1TB of data was lost, all because of my mistake. The company filed for bankruptcy as a result of the lawsuit against them and someone bought the company name and location, putting my boss and its employees out of a job.

If there's one lesson I have learned that I take with the utmost respect to even this day, it's this: Know your infrastructure front to back before you change it, especially when it comes to data.

The effect of too much rubber duck debugging.

Picture taken in the dark but that's how I like to work. In darkness. Illuminated by just my awful code.

My friend had the bright idea of making a version of bubble sort that plays a quacking sound effect on every swap. I added in different variations of the same sound effect for various conditions.

We named it "Quacksort," and one of the professors asked us to present it to the intro class.

My career has reached its peak.

devRant, you've missed the opportunity to swap desk ducks for little humans. Still awesome idea though.

*trying to learn Android programming*

Oh shoot, Android studio is eating lots of RAM
...
The hell Chrome!! Don't compete with him!

(First time i saw my swap was ever used)

Shit just got real

Today was hell on earth as for user support. Phone going non stop, tickets coming in faster than we were able to process.

At the end of the day I had to make a symlink for a customer which is fine. But, the day was so busy that I just couldn't focus anymore.
I've made 1K+ symlinks in my life probably but I couldn't remember if the source or destination comes first with a symlink.... The day has been hell and I just couldn't bring up a single second of focus anymore..

Fuck it, I'll do it tomorrow. I know I can do this but I don't trust myself with this right now in case of a huge webshop (swap the source/destination: webshop gone).

I think I'll thank myself for this tomorrow.

Lol I want to try this too. Do we've gender swap edition of this meme?

@dfox Thanks for the swag. Cheers

Gavin Belson from Silicon Valley reminds me of my business owner. KNOWS NOTHING WANTS EVERYTHING.

best swapping program ever....

God virgin media are useless:

Me: “hello how long is left in my contract”
VM: “you have three months left, may I ask why”
Me: “this is now the 3rd day in two weeks I have had no broadband I’m looking to swap to someone more reliable”
VM: “ I’m sorry to hear that I’ll check our system to see what I can do for you”
2 mins on hold
VM: “hello mr day we can offer you a special offer of doubling your internet speed for only £5 a month”
Me: “how does that help with the fact I have no internet”
VM: “well it won’t but we have an engineer looking at the problem and we estimate it will be fixed by 17:05”
Me: “thanks but no thanks, what’s the early exit fee”

😡🤬😡

YOU CAN'T JUST SWAP THESE DATES AROUND WITHOUT TELLING US AND EXPECT IT TO BE FINE, YOU USELESS FUCKING SKIDMARK!

... ahem ... sorry about that, just needed to vent ... as you were

A switch on my mech keyboard broke.
It's ot amusing at all.

So 10 months ago i moved from Cambridge (UK) to Guildford (UK), due to moving this distance i started working from home and going into the office once a week.

Now after 10 months i have finally got my home office how i first imagined it. Everything runs from my laptop which is located on the shelving unit away from my desk. Everything plugs into it via 1 USB lead.

Setup:
27" 2560 x 1440 monitor flanked by two 1280 x 1024 monitors.
Asus Laptop (i5-6300HQ, 12GB ram, 512GB SSD + 1TB HDD)
Home PC (i5-7600, 8GB ram, GTX 770)

Accessories:
StarTech USB hub - This allows me to plug my three monitors, keyboards, mouse and everything else into my laptop.
KVM switch - Allows me to swap between my Work PC and Home PC with a click of a button

Managers: wE wAnT tO bE LeAn aNd MoVe FaSt As PoSsIBLe wiTh NeW FeAtUrEs

Same Managers: Can you make this icon 2 pixels smaller?! Shift this element left?! Swap out this icon?! Use a different color here?! A perfect feature and design is critical!!!!!!

FullStackClown: You can either be lean and fast, or be fucking nitpicking clowns 🤡 about this stuff and slow us all down. Choose one.

Managers: ...

FullStackClown: Sit down and shut up

Should I be afraid right now?

Dev: can I swap out an existing UI framework from this codebase for a completely different one, because it doesn't do the small enhancement I've been tasked to do?

Me: ...............

please lord, give me strength in these pressing times.

Oh Lenovo, why swap the FN and the CTRL keys, WHY DAMMIT??!!!!

Expressing my inner nerd through my t-shirt choices.

swag-for-dev
A list of swag opportunities for developers

I recently filled out an e-form that asked you to fill out your birthday in the format of:
DD/MM/YY
but it didn't accept 22/09/1997
I was confused at first. I'm over 18 what's the issue?
Turns out it would only accept 22/9/1997
What sort of monster does that?

I accidentally broke our office’s tablet device. Operations manager said it will be deducted from my salary next month.
Few weeks later, my operations manager breaks his laptops touch screen. I almost did a naked run in excitement.

Someone two years into a degree wrote this. What the actual fuck.

Found myself a gf who also does the code stuff. We are each other's debug buddies.

Just stumbled upon this!

Finally got my new phone (from China) today.
*Opens package all excitedly*
*Backups everything to pc of old phone and gets ready to swap the simcard*
*Notices that the new phone only supports a nano sim*
*Realizes that I only have an old school simcard that you can't cut down to nano size*
*Realizes that I'll have to wait until after the weeked to receive the new simcard*

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

I want to play with it now :(

So I been telling Cox no to upgrading my modem for the past 2 months, my modem works fine, so now last night the modem just stops working, the internet is out and I call support, I tell them the problem and they without even thinking ask what version of modem I have, I tell then gen 2,they then offered a upgrade for free and the old gen 2 ones were not working lately, I reluctantly agreed to swap them for free, so after I got off the phone I was curious, I decided to packet sniff and find all my data is being sent just fine, but once it reaches the Cox main gateway it just drops the packet, I even pinged the DNS and it responded fine, turns out they just shut my connection off and basically forced me to upgrade to their gen 3 enhanced Wi-Fi bullshit

Word Porn

Due to inspiration of giving up with windows being slow (performance wise) always connecting to MS severs (I have slow internet) so it’s noticeable when I can download quicker on a raspberry pi then on a laptop - both over wifi 🤷‍♂️

And burning a fucking boot DVD for Ubuntu takes 3 fucking DVDs at 2.4x speed - before getting a successful boot disk 😞

I think it’s time to swap out this hdd and go to the dark side!

In one of our webinterfaces you could swap between users once you logged in by changing the user in the link.

Not intended but our support is using this "feature" frequently because then they don't have to log in again when helping another client so it's not planned to be fixed

Great finaly get away on vacation 2weeks of just realaxing, 30min before leaving to the airport i get a sms from my server one of my main hard drives fail. No problem just need to swap the drive and start the recover at the airport.
At the airport i connect to my home vpn and start the recovery everything works fine just need to restart the server when done ~12h. next day im in the hotell and my vpn does not accept my connection, okey might be the hotell that block vpn connections i try my external vpn and it works and i try to connect home when i get a lovley text from my server "login attempt has failed from ip:x" then it hits me i have forgotten to add to whitelist. Outsmarted myself to just let i be.
So i finally get 2 weeks off and nothing i can do about it.

Boss: You have one month to finish the program.
Me: It will be complicated but lets see how it goes.
To be cleared the end date is 2 of July.

Boss on the last friday: You have to finish on the 20th of June
Me: Yeah sure....

Boss yesterday: You have to finish on the 15th of June.
Me: You said one month.

Boss today: you have to finish by the end of this week
Me: No problem Boss you will have it tomorrow!!!
Boss: You have to. There are more projects waiting...
Me: -.-

This is what I have to deal with. But hey... don't forget... tomorrow is a new day so ... fuck it.

I had just started as an SDE intern, and was fiddling around with the code base.

Me: Hey, can you send me the link to our version control system?
Mentor: Umm, what!?
Me: You know, where we keep our code backup...
Mentor: Hmm, is there a need for that?
Me: Yeah, I mean, my past experience tells me to always backup code, just in case something goes wrong.
Mentor: Ohh, that's easy. I'll teach you how I do it.

So, he comes to my workplace, and does this:
1. Go to your workspace folder.
2. Right click it.
3. Zip it.
4. Open outlook.
5. Compose email.
6. Attach the zip file.
7. Mail to yourself.
8. That's how it's done!

I was like what the hell!?!?! Is this really happening?? And then he started basking in his glory, as if he had taught me some secret hack! Seeing this, I couldn't even get myself to introduce him to git. That was the worst part.

I can assure you there's nothing agile about an all day meeting that definitely doesn't require every dev to be there. Industry is weird.

Why do I feel like my brain needs more swap but the HD is full?

I did it. I got the internship. Maybe I can do this after all.

Coffee and music. Lots of both. Swap coffee for alcohol in the evening.

Our team makes a software in Java and because of technical reasons we require 1GB of memory for the JVM (with the Xmx switch).
If you don't have enough free memory the app without any sign just exits because the JVM just couldn't bite big enough from the memory.
Many days later and you just stand there without a clue as to why the launcher does nothing.
Then you remember this constraint and start to close every memory heavy app you can think of. (I'm looking at you Chrome) No matter how important those spreadsheets or illustrator files. Congratulation you just freed up 4GB of memory, things should work now! WRONG!
But why you might ask. You see we are using 32-bit version of java because someone in upper management decided that it should run on any machine (even if we only test it on win 7 and high sierra) and 32 is smaller than 64 so it must be downwards compatible! we should use it! Yes, in 2019 we use 32-bit java because some lunatic might want to run our software on a Windows XP 32-bit OS. But why is this so much of a problem?
Well.. the 32-bit version of Java requires CONTIGUOUS FREE SPACE IN MEMORY TO EVEN START... AND WE ARE REQUESTING ONE GIGABYTE!!
So you can shove your swap and closed applications up your ass but I bet you that you won't get 1GB contiguous memory that way!
Now there will be a meeting about this issue and another related to the issues with 32-bit JVM tomorrow. The only problem is that this issue only occures if you used up most of your memory and then try to open our software. So upper management will probably deem this issue minor and won't allow us to upgrade to 64-bit... in 20fucking19

*During a walk around to check on the users*

Dev: *Watching worker laboriously dragging pallet jack with one wobbly wheel and another wheel practically seized*

Dev: Hey that looks broken, can’t you swap it out in the maintenance building?

Worker: If you do that management will give you one that’s worse.

Dev: …This fucking company

** Worker later threw out his back, company’s corrective action was to send out notice reminding employees to stretch before doing physical tasks

Boy do I love when Snapchat sends me a snap telling me happy father's day.
I don't even know who my father is but thanks for the reminder assholes.
I wonder what dipshit thought that sending everyone on Snapchat messages during all sorts of holidays that not everyone celebrates was a good idea.

Who says Windows is useless....

Running a python script to swap wifi networks, auto connect to VPN servers, run SSH commands and SFTP files to servers, downloading numerous files, sifting through outlook for emails, running excel macros for data cleansing, cell merging and formulas all at the click of a button 😱

Oh yea.. this is all 1 task that I never have to do again😂

Windows is useless for development you say? 🤔

So this was going to be a comment but damn!!!!

Windows is seriously about making life harder for power users now, every fucking update lately is moving more easy to change things and fucking hiding them inside hidden menus or stupid links that don’t make sense. I mean fuck I just want to turn on dual screen with my laptop (because for some bizarre reason, just showing the desktop on the plugged in monitor is so hard to do automatically, especially since I just plugged a hdmi cable in) and the fucker was gone with nothing but a “detect screens” button before it would use an external screen.

Fuck I’m so close to pulling the plug on windows, but Linux just doesn’t sell me for daily use (yet... it’s getting there though)

The fucking forced updates (yes I consider a random bsod due to a system interrupt, then as it reboots magically has updates awaiting... a forced update) are starting to get to me, the fucking thing half crashing and not responding due to a network transfer of files (the fucker was 5GB)

If it wasn’t for my gaming needs and someone can show me a very good alternative to MS Visio (I haven’t really found one yet) then I would swap over and just adjust to the not so great (imo) desktop environments.

geeksay
Turn layman text 👶 to geeky version 🤓!

I have to confess. I'm a distro hopper. I've been a distro hopper ever since last year, and it got me tired. I spend entire hours checking distrowatch, partitioning, setting up hardware and drivers and passwords... I've tried to stop, I swear, but every time I do, there goes a new Solus release, an Openbox Debian based new branch, a forensic floppy disk that I know that I won't ever use for real. I just love assigning swap, fighting with rEFInd icons, testing modules, navigate trough different configs... Oh God, I even set up a virtual OpenBSD, just to see what it can do.
My friends have been telling me to stop, because I don't take care of our relation, that I'm becoming a monster. It's shameful and embarrassing to me when they ask me about my day and I say "you know, installing Manjaro on my desktop, and Lubuntu to that crappy old Asus I have for backups" I think I'm going to lose my head some day, this sickness is driving me straight down to the Slackware pits. I should stop it before I try Ratpoison environment but truth be told; I mean not to stop. I'm a distro hopper.
I ride my way live, unstable and restless.

Does anyone know a provider for webhosting with this needs?

- decently priced (~4€/month)
- domain included
- email stuff included
- no analytics/cookie stuff from the provider (that's the point of change)
- easy sftp access
- ssl included

DO !!!NOT!!!!! USE 'X' AND 'P' TO 'CUT AND PASTE' A LOT OF LINES ACROSS FILES IN VIM!!! HOLY SHIT I JUST PWNED MYSELF SO HARD I LOST SO MUCH CODE HOLY FUCK IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! WHERE DID AT ALL GO YOU ASK, WHY THE FUCKING REGISTER, OK LET'S CHECK THE REGISTER, COOL THERE IT IS, BUT WAIT, THERE'S ONLY LIKE 20% OF IT BECAUSE WE CUT A SHIT LOAD OF LINES AT ONCE, AND THE REGISTER OVERFILLED.... Ok let's calm down, doesn't Vim have a recovery option? Yes it does, but WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE, MY CHANGES ARE NOT IN THE SWAP FILE BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE VIM CRASHED OR ANYTHING, MY DUMB-FUCK-ASS WILLFULLY WROTE THE CHANGES WHEN I SWITCHED OVER TO THE NEW FILE, AND NOW, WELL THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DEAD KIDDO, YOU WROTE THE CHANGES TO DISK, NOTHING YOU CAN DO, AND I AM SO SCREWED I SPECIFICALLY MADE A DEVRANT ACCOUNT TO MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE PWNS HIMSELF AS HARD AS I JUST DID HOLY FUCK

Software development lessons are so boring and the teacher is so stupid. He can't swap two variables without a temporary var. He said that he never saw this kind of swaping before. I pay attention sometimes, but I'm just drawing in my exercise book.

I don't like C.
C is not my friend.

Just got started on my first summer project.

Drinkaloo: The Ultimate Drinking Game.

Never touched android studio before. This should be fun.

IE is crap. Use Firefox.

Amazing that it still applies to this day, except maybe swap Firefox with Chrome, depending on preference.

Let’s see I suppose the most pissed off I’ve been at work would be....

Being blamed for a clients mistake when their newsletter email settings where being changed over to a new mailing system but during the change over they wanted to still send out mail using the old list. So a single endpoint was kept in place so they could send one last newsletter out after it was approved as part of the migration and they were to inform us when they were done so we could change that endpoint over.

Several months later when everyone had long forgotten about it, the client tried to send another mass mail out using the old endpoint and complained when no emails had been sent.

I was blamed for making this mistake even though management approved the fucking old endpoint to be left in place at the clients request against my concerns that someone’s going to forgot about this and I was never informed to swap it over.

I quit on the spot and walked out the door after that.

Alright, i'm fucking done.

Fedora: Packages are self-referencial, using the system is like sprinting through a fucking minefield.

Linux Mint: "lol just don't update packages on the repo because shit can't break if it never updates! Don't add custom repos either or we'll just fucking break your PC."

Debian Raw: "We have all of 5 packages on our repos and GPG is fucking broken so you can't add more repos."

Arch: "Have fun modifying the boot disk for 30 hours so it'll boot, and let's tack on another 30 to make it install properly."

Gentoo: "LOL what is swap. Let's just pipe garbage into this partition as fast as the disk will let us for literally no reason. I'm sure you can still use the system for all of 30 minutes, at which point your SSD will give out. No big deal..."

when did Linux go to shit?

Windows isn't any better without billions of tweaks and then a build upgrade (in that order specific) to make it run properly.

Nor is OSX, as it runs on the model of "lol gotta hack your own PC to run custom unapproved binaries!"

Fuck it.

I'm installing DOS.

Kernel panic!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I'm the only one working on this anymore and every toolchain supporting the system (remember, we're using an ARM9 [initial strap CPU] AND an ARM11 (give or take an ARM7 slaved to the ARM9 that we don't have support for yet), all in tandem, and the only toolchain that remotely works is for ARM6 for some reason) hates the Linux kernel. Current goals: SD R/W support (currently RO), X, GNUTools, maybe a better fucking softkey driver (i'll have to find whoever made this one and fucking beat him), and a working joy2mouse/touch2mouse driver. Oh, and figure out if Swap would work either with the New 2DS/3DS' Bonus Drive (unused 64MB partition on NAND) without killing the NAND as the SD access is max. 1.2 MB/s read/write speed or so, which isn't fast enough for swap AND other things.

Currently working:
Busybox
Read-only SD support
Weston (term only, can't click)
Standard 3DS/Standard 2DS/New 3DS (Models before 2017, the non-foldables, rebranded standard 2DSes) features only, not yet New 3DS/New 2DS-enhanced

Currently failing final compile because toolchain:
Preliminary custom R/W SD support

Chrome, Firefox, and yes even you Opera, Falkon, Midori and Luakit. We need to talk, and all readers should grab a seat and prepare for some reality checks when their favorite web browsers are in this list.

I've tried literally all of them, in search for a lightweight (read: not ridiculously bloated) web browser. None of them fit the bill.

Yes Midori, you get a couple of bonus points for being the most lightweight. Luakit however.. as much as I like vim in my terminal, I do not want it in a graphical application. Not to mention that just like all the others you just use webkit2gtk, and therefore are just as bloated as all the others. Lightweight my ass! But programmable with Lua, woo! Not like Selenium, Chrome headless, ... does that for any browser. And that's it for the unique features as far as I'm concerned. One is slow, single-threaded and lightweight-ish (Midori) and another has vim keybindings in an application that shouldn't (Luakit).

Pretty much all of them use webkit2gtk as their engine, and pretty much all of them launch a separate process for each tab. People say this is more secure, but I have serious doubts about that. You're still running all these processes as the same user, and they all have full access to the X server they run under (this is also a criticism against user separation on a single X session in general). The only thing it protects against is a website crashing the browser, where only that tab and its process would go down. Which.. you know.. should a webpage even be able to do that?

But what annoys me the most is the sheer amount of memory that all of these take. With all due respect all of you browsers, I am not quite prepared to give 8 fucking gigabytes - half the memory in this whole box! - just for a dozen or so tabs. I shouldn't have to move my web browser to another lesser used 16GB box, just to prevent this one from going into fucking swap from a dozen tabs. And before someone has a go at the add-ons, there's 4 installed and that's it. None of them are even close to this complete and utter memory clusterfuck. It's the process separation. Each process consumes half a GB of memory, and there's around a dozen of them in a usual browsing session. THAT is the real problem. And I want to get rid of it.

Browsers are at their pinnacle of fucked up in my opinion, literally to the point where I'm seriously considering elinks. Being a sysadmin, I already live my daily life in terminals anyway. As such I also do have resources. But because of that I also associate every process with its cost to run it, in terms of resources required. Web browsers are easily at the top of the list.

I want to put 8GB into perspective. You can store nearly 2 entire DVD movies in that memory. However media players used to play them (such as SMPlayer) obviously don't do that. They use 60-80MB on average to play the whole movie. They also require far less processing power than YouTube in a web browser does, even when you download that exact same video with youtube-dl (either streamed within the media player or externally). That is what an application should be.

Let's talk a bit about these "complicated" websites as well. I hate to break it to you framework web devs, but you're a dime a dozen. The competition is high between web devs for that exact reason. And websites are not complicated. The document itself is plain old HTML, yes even if your framework converts to it in the background. That's the skeleton of your document, where I would draw a parallel with documents in office suites that are more or less written in XML. CSS.. oh yes, markup. Embolden that shit, yes please! And JavaScript.. oh yes, that pile of shit that's been designed in half a day, and has a framework called fucking isEven (which does exactly what it says on the tin, modulo 2 be damned). Fancy some macros in your text editor? Yes, same shit, different pile.

Imagine your text editor being as bloated as a web browser. Imagine it being prone to crashing tabs like a web browser. Imagine it being so ridiculously slow to get anything done in your productivity suite. But it's just the usual with web browsers, isn't it? Maybe Gopher wasn't such a bad idea after all... Oh and give me another update where I have to restart the browser when I commit the heinous act of opening another tab, just because you had to update your fucking CA certs again. Yes please!

Let me just get right down to it.
FUCK YOU Hewlett-fucking-Packard FOR YOUR SHITTY LAPTOPS! Don't you even keep your customer's needs in mind when you design these things? Besides all the bloatware you stuff into the Windows you ship it with, at least make the quality of your shit better. These flimsy screens and loose hinges, I've had to get that shit replaced multiple times in just the past year.
Want to upgrade to an SSD or plug in more RAM? Guess what! I've to tear the whole thing apart! Keyboard, palm rest, all if it! What even happened to just popping a cover at the bottom to swap out the hard drive!? I have to fucking congratulate you, you fucking cunts, for making an easy process as difficult as it can fuckin possibly get. You guys deserve an award for this, preferably presented to you, shoved up your asses.

The feeling when you realise the 4 letter username on devRant you wanted hasn't actually been taken.

!rant

To the Devs at OnePlus,

Who ever wrote the code that lets me swap the 'back' and 'show recent apps' buttons so they're like my old phone.... You're a fucking god

If anyone has been keeping up with my data warehouse from hell stories, we're reaching the climax. Today I reached my breaking point and wrote a strongly worder email about the situation. I detailed 3 separate cases of violated referential integrity (this warehouse has no constraints) and a field pulling from THE WRONG FLIPPING TABLE. Each instance was detailed with the lying ER diagram, highlighted the violating key pairs, the dangers they posed, and how to fix it. Note that this is a financial document; a financial document with nondeterministic behavior because the previous contractors' laziness. I feel like the flipping harbinger of doom with a cardboard sign saying "the end is near" and keep having to self-validate that if I was to change anything about this code, **financial numbers would change**, names would swap, description codes would change, and because they're edge cases in a giant dataset, they'll be hard to find. My email included SQL queries returning values where integrity is violated 15+ times. There's legacy data just shoved in ignoring all constraints. There are misspellings where a new one was made instead of updating, leaving the pk the same.

Now I'd just put sorting and other algos, but the data is processed by a crystal report. It has no debugger. No analysis tools. 11 subreports. The thing takes an hour to run and 77k queries to the oracle backend. It's one of the most disgusting infrastructures I've ever seen. There's no other solution to this but to either move to a general programming language or get the contractor to fix the data warehouse. I feel like I've gotten nowhere trying to debug this for 2 months. Now that I've reached what's probably the root issue, the office beaucracy is resisting the idea of throwing out the fire hazard and keeping the good parts. The upper management wants to just install sprinklers, and I'm losing it.

So GitHub just ran a swap(leftContainer, rightContainer)

U know this guy, whos Shady AS FUCK..
He waited until the end of the daily(when noone was putting attention) to make an agreement with the PO about some decisions of the user history..
He doesnt even know WTF is doing, so he wanted to swap his user history for another one..

U & ALL THE PEOPLE WHO NEVER WORK WITH THE TEAM & USE PRIVATES CHATS TO CONTROL OTHERS!
FUCK U!!

11.1/11.4 GB of RAM is being eaten open on boot, even though I just rebooted. Almost half of my swap is in use too. WTF! Windows is no help in explaining it either...SO ANNOYING!

Me: hmmmm it's a pain in the ass building my program and having to rebuild it everytime I want to swap to my Chromebook (going from x86 to ARM64), I really wish they could develop an OS that is essentially a VM so you would compile once and have the OS' VM later do the heavy lifting

My brain: hey Alex, that sounds like a great idea, you deserve a coffee for that!

Me: yes I do... Wait... Coffee... Cup of jo... Java.... WAIT! This sounds like what Java was intended to be!!!!!

My brain: oh dear god... Time to fucking bury this thought to never be discussed again!!!!!

What's the lesson to learn here? If it looks like Java, sounds like Java and acts like Java, beat it over the head and bury it 6 feet down :-3

Some people have a rubber ducky debugger. I have well... This guy.

Look, I get that it's really tricky to assess whether someone is or isn't skilled going solely by their profile.

That's alright.

What isn't center of the cosmic rectum alright with the fucking buttsauce infested state of interviews is that you give me the most far fetched and convoluted nonsense to solve and then put me on a fucking timer.

And since there isn't a human being on the other side, I can't even ask for clarification nor walk them through my reasoning. No, eat shit you cunt juice swallowing mother fucker, anal annhilation on your whole family with a black cock stretching from Zimbabwe to Singapore, we don't care about this "reasoning" you speak of. Fuck that shit! We just hang out here, handing out tricks in the back alley and smoking opium with vietnamese prostitutes, up your fucking ass with reason.

Let me tell you something mister, I'm gonna shove a LITERAL TON of putrid gorilla SHIT down your whore mouth then cum all over your face and tits, let's see how you like THAT.

Cherry on top: by the time I began figuring out where my initial approach was wrong, it was too late. Get that? L'esprit d'escalier, bitch. I began to understand the problem AFTER the timer was up. I could solve it now, except it wouldn't do me any fucking good.

The problem? Locate the topmost 2x2 block inside a matrix whose values fall within a particular range. It's easy! But if you don't explain it properly, I have to sit down re-reading the description and think about what the actual fuck is this cancerous liquid queef that just got forcefully injected into my eyes.

But since I can't spend too much time trying to comperfukenhend this two dollar handjob of a task, which I'd rather swap for teabagging a hairy ass herpes testicle sack, there's rushing in to try and make sense of this shit as I type.

So I'm about 10 minutes down or so already, 35 to go. I finally decipher that I should get the XY coords of each element within the specified range, then we'll walk an array of those coordinates and check for adjacency. Easy! Done, and done.

Another 10 minutes down, all checks in place. TEST. Wait, wat? Where's the output? WHERE. THE FUCK. IS. THE OUTPUT?! BITCH GIMME AN ANSWER. I COUT'D THE RETURN AND CAN SEE THE TERMINAL BUT ITS NOT SHOWING ME ANYTHINGGG?! UUUGHHH FUCKKFKFKFKFKFKFKFUFUFUFFKFK (...)

Alright, we have about 20 minutes left to finish this motorsaw colonoscopy, and I can't see what my code is outputting so I'm walking through the code myself trying to figure out if this will work. Oh, look at that I have to MANUALLY click this fucking misaligned text that says "clear" in order for any new output to register. Lovely, 10/10 web design, I will violate your armpits with an octopus soaked in rabid bear piss.

Mmmh, looks like I got this wrong. Figures. I'm building the array of coordinates sequentially, as a one dimentional list, which is very inconvenient for finding adjacent elements. No problem, let's try and fix that aaaaaand... SHIT IM ALMOST OUT OF TIME.

QUICK LYEB, QUICK!! REMEMBER WHAT FISCELLA TAUGHT YOU, IN BETWEEN MOLESTING YOUR SOUL WITH 16-BIT I/O CONSOLE PROBLEMS, LIKE THAT BITCH SNOWFALL THING YOU HAD TO SOLVE FOR A FRIEND USING TURBO C ON A FUCKING TOASTER IN COMPUTER LAB! RUN MOTHERFUCKER RUN!!!

I'm SWEATING. HEAVILY. I'm STEAMING, NON-EROTICALLY. Less than 10 minutes left. I'm trying to correct the code I have, but I start making MORE dumbfuck mistakes because I'm in a hurry!

5 minutes left. As I hit this point of no return, I realize exactly where my initial reasoning went wrong, and how I could fix it, but I can't because I don't have enough time. Sadface.

So I hastily put together skeleton of the correct implementation, and as the clock is nearly up, I write a comment explaining the bits I can't get to write. Page up, top of file, type "the editor was shit LMAO" and comment it out. SUBMIT.

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Also hi ;>

How many of you use SWAP on your VPS?
If you do, pls stop.

So, Viber says my friend was last online before she was born.

When you use someone else's poorly written code in a memory inefficient language

I love that JS allows for variable swapping,
thanks to structuring / de-structuring.

```JavaScript
[ a , b ] = [ b , a ]
```

Thats all, lol.

TIL Gimp has its own swap system. Neat.

Latest Atom with Electron 1.6 seems to be pegging multiple CPUs and maxing out ram and swap. Looks like I should start trying different editors again. :(

RAM's deadliest archenemies: Chrome + Android Studio

Forced me to add a SWAP partition so that Linux doesn't shit itself, and it's almost filled up as well.

Is it even a group project unless you did over 50% of the work?

Linux nerds, here is a question,

I have a machine with 32 GB Ram, currently it is using 12.5 G and at the same time I see swap is used 1.55G/2.00G

why swap is used if i have enough Ram ?

The fact that I was just able to unplug my phone because it was fully charged and just swap the cable to my Chromebook just makes me way too excited for the future of tech peripherals!

(Yes I love USB-C and Bluetooth and am one of those people who are happy and excited to see the headphone jack die)

FOSDEM was pretty awesome.

Swap variable without temporary variable
meanwhile C:
a=a+b
b=a-b
a=a-b

while python:
a,b=b,a

Python be like:B*tch Please

@dfox You lately changed the needed +1's for stickers and stress balls. But you forgot to update the website ^_^ Clicking on Free Swap still refers to 15 and 150.

Sure go ahead throw me off a bridge into a task thats completely out of my ability in an area I have no experience or understanding almost completely unrelated to the role in which I applied for.

whilst everyone is posting their clean environment let me share mine.

#whenProdBreaks

$data = ["some","predefined","data","set"];

// :/ this suddenly broke
//$response = $this->makeSoapRequest($data);

/**
Due to prod failure, Hot-swap soap for rest - don't ask how we took the same input, spun the shit out of the response and recreated the same data structure that the soap request made, but it works... and that's all you will ever have to know.
**/

$response = $this->makeRestRequest($data);

//process the response
$this->process($response);

Just did an internship test for Autodesk and came away from it with the conclusion that I'm really stupid.
May as well give up on my dreams.

Adding "my house manager is a bitch" to the pile of ongoing issues.

My studio is right in front of the courtyard. Which means students partying and I don't get any sleep. So this morning I asked her if I could swap places with another student. She is a broken record. "It's not allowed" is all I hear from her every time regardless of whatever I ask. And as she says, there are new rules and I am not allowed to get a new contract within the same fuckin building. Her own daughter lives in the quiet area, so like, what's with the double standard?

She's lying and I know that. I asked her to put me in touch with her bosses or "owners" as she calls them, and guess what she said; "it's not allowed" 🙄

Anyways, I don't wish her well. I'll eventually find a way out of this expensive silverfish-infested building.

Decided to swap ISP.
Arranged that my new ISP started today and my old one would end next week so I had some wiggle room for issues.

Today my old ISP just disconnected my house in the middle of the day.

Then my new ISP failed to connect me and _might_ have it fixed tomorrow.

Looking forward to working remotely over 5G...

awesome-eli5
Tech "explained" Like you're Five!

Worst career choice: Not programming when I was younger because someone told me I would pick up bad habits. As a result if feel behind some of my peers at University.
Best career choice: I'll let you know when/if I have a career.

Sorry, need to vent.

In my current project I'm using two main libraries [slack client and k8s client], both official. And they both suck!

Okay, okay, their code doesn't really suck [apart from k8s severely violating Liskov's principle!]. The sucky part is not really their fault. It's the commonly used 3rd-party library that's fucked up.

Okhttp3

yeah yeah, here come all the booos. Let them all out.

1. In websockets it hard-caps frame size to 16mb w/o an ability to change it. So.. Forget about unchunked file transfers there... What's even worse - they close the websocket if the frame size exceeds that limit. Yep, instead of failing to send it kills the conn.

2. In websockets they are writing data completely async. Without any control handles.. No clue when the write starts, completes or fails. No callbacks, no promises, no nothing other feedback
3. In http requests they are splitting my request into multiple buffers. This fucks up the slack cluent, as I cannot post messages over 4050 chars in size . Thanks to the okhttp these long texts get split into multiple messages. Which effectively fucks up formatting [bold, italic, codeblocks, links,...], as the formatted blocks get torn apart. [didn't investigate this deeper: it's friday evening and it's kotlin, not java, so I saved myself from the trouble of parsing yet unknown syntax]

yes, okhttp is probably a good library for the most of it. Yes, people like it, but hell, these corner cases and weird design decisions drive me mad!

And it's not like I could swap it with anynother lib.. I don't depend on it -- other libs I need do!

Something isn't working, I play around with the code, and try all possible things in the code. Still it doesn't work. Spend a couple of hours reading each and every line but still in vain. Finally, I find out that I was editing the wrong file (same file at another location) the whole time!! This happened a couple of times when I was a newbie, one of my most annoying mistakes.
Lesson learnt: Now when anybody asks me to debug his code, I first edit/add a print statement to make sure this is the correct file. I thought I was being skeptical, but it has saved me a lot of time (mostly interns do this rookie mistake).

Created Linux instalation flashdrive on my notebook like thousand times before. Simple dd if=img of=/dev/sdb . Tried installing system from it but somehow doesn't work. And the it hit me. I have both magmetic drive and SSD in my laptop! So insted of flashdrive, I have bootable beging of my SSD where my encrypted lvm used to be :-( Luckilly I lost just EFI, boot, swap, rootfs, few git repositories and ccache.

>compiling a toolchain for my phone
>compiling gcc
>segfault
wtf, i have like 8GB RAM and 32GB Swap on an SSD
>rerun make w/o clean
>continues, no segfault
ok?
>segfault a few minutes later
FUCK

rinse and repeat like 30 times

why

Was watching a video tutorial narrated by a south asian guy(am not racist). Middle of the tutorial, he burped. I rewind the video to confirm if he actually did that. Mofo literally burped.
Now i feel stupid that I rewind to hear that.

!rant

I started learning to use Hadoop recently, and am running a VM with all I need installed on it (the HDF Sandbox to be exact). The VM wants 8GB to run and my laptop only has just that, except it also needs to run Windows at the same time...

At first I thought I was screwed, that I'd need a more capable computer to learn. I gave it a shot anyway, and told VirtualBox to give the VM 4GB, hoping the VM itself would use RAM swap to function. And it did!

What I didn't expect was Windows not slowing down even a bit. Turns out Windows can triple the computer's RAM with virtual memory that it keeps on disk.

So the bottom line is: my VM is using 4GB as if it was 8GB, and at the moment my Windows is using 8GB as if they were 14GB. All of this without breaking a sweat. The more you know!

fuck apple. the overprised piece of shit that is still fucking stuck at 8gb of ram, my 6 year old andriod has 8gb. apple doesnt even fucking let you fix anything. at least with the newest ios they let you change batteries. how the fuck are you supposed to use a macbook with 8gb of ram without destroying the ssd by using swap. their piece of shit unibody anti repair garbage that you cant even change the keyboard in. the m2 chip runs at 120 degrees celcius because if a piece of shit cooling. like you would need a fan spinning at 120 degrees per nanosecond to fucking cool that thing. sometimes it cant even play a youtube video smoothly.

I aspire to become the type of dev that understands frameworks and has technical depth rather than the type that just implements things but it's a struggle. I don't know where the foundations are.

Does anyone else have a major problem with over thinking debugging or like the code to write in general?

I spent 10 minutes the other day reading over 6 lines of code only to realize 2 words were capitalized when they shouldn't have been.

Wednesday night, i was doing my CS homework. The question wanted me to swap variable values using a third variable. I stared at it for 30 minutes scratching my head. (I did Google it and read the notes I took.) And when I saw the solution, it was so simple that I face palmed really hard.

Just started using GitHub for my Uni assignment. Summer is coming up and I hope to get a lot more green on here with some projects.

What was supposed to be a simple HDD to SSD upgrade for my brother ended up taking 3 fucking days.

His computer's idle temp was fucking 90c because of fucking YEARS worth of dust preventing fans from breathing, one of them was even dead so I had to go to best buy to get a new one.

Had a power outage happen in the middle of cleaning the damn dust out before replacing the bad fan. It took close to 24 hours for it to come back, and I just didn't bother until the day after cause fuck that.

When I go back to it, I finish cleaning the dust, clone the old HDD to the new SSD, do the swap out, replace the thermal paste on CPU cause why the fuck not at this point. Then turn it on to test, yeah from 90c down to 20c : |

Yeah... so I charged him for the new fan, and the hour-ish it took me to clean the damn dust and replace the fan... (drive was agreed to be done for free as a favor) Yeah not really worth charging for but I was pissed and that was the 'nicest' way I could show how annoyed I was with him not properly caring for the PC. Like honestly 90 degrees celsius. I refuse to believe he didn't notice impacted performance in his games

21 days of X - Make 2018 productive!

Snapchat's face swap doesn't work. Twins know it.

Started my internship Monday. Got given a new top spec MacBook Pro. Yay. Except it has the German Keyboard layout. () require shift and yet {} and [] require alt. Whoever designed the layout clearly doesn't program.
Oh and the imposter syndrome is coming on strong.

MRW working with non technical people and they say "Repo is too problematic, we'll just swap files through Dropbox"

Does anyone actually use ZorinOS as a daily driver?

I've read reviews and they call it a "gorgeous" distro... It looks like a colour pallette swap of android 4.0 and I hate to say this to them but adding wine to your distro does not make it "windows compatible"...

I like the idea of ZorinOS but the execution is just horrible imho

Today I Fucked Up. I tried to do something involving hardware.
I tried to fix my mechanical keyboard by myself with no thought towards how electronics work. My first time using a soldering iron and trying to fix something myself.
I went from needing to replace one key to burning some plastic, failing to get new solder onto the parts to attach the new key to the PCB and getting solder where I didn't want it to needing a new keyboard because I think I've fried some stuff so badly half the bottom row of keys no longer works.
Fucking wonderful.
Guess it's time to buy a new keyboard.
Sigh.

i deleted my swap partition

F**k

HP makes shit devices. How the fuck you gonna regress with product design from 7 years ago?

Like whos the fucktard that thinks “how about in order to swap a keyboard, we make the user take EVERYTHING out and then put it into a new upper housing?”

Or my favorite is “instead of screwing a screen panel in, lets use some painfully difficult to access stretch tape?”

Fuck HP’s product design team. If by some off chance any of yall know anyone who’s part of that team, tell them i said they can eat a fat dick and get aids.

Just wish I could swap a portion of my dev super powers for something more f’king practical like being able to do DIY or mix cement and lay bricks properly.
Every damn time there’s some small job to be done it turns into a god damn nightmare.
Anyone else as single skilled as me or can you actually do real world skills too?

Modem issues kept going on.
Started complaining to them again and requesting they send one of their proper modems.
Service: "Unfortunately it is not possible to request a different modem"
Me (tho *slightly* more polite): "I don't care, you guys caused this issue by sending us a shitty modem, so you guys are now to send me a proper modem, period. I'm done with having unstable internet because <ISP> doesn't want to admit their modems are flawed by design and deliver proper ones."
Service: "I have good news! We can swap out your modem for the one you requested"

Sometimes, you just have to bitch hard enough.

Ugggh. Has anyone else on here worked with MFC?

I've been updating some legacy software and it's been like wading through a swap that was caused by a malfunctioning trailer park septic system: no map, and mostly shit with the occasional nasty surprise.

All unit tests pass in eclipse, swap to maven 1 test suddenly fails.

Fuck you maven

Did some changes and raised a code review. Some lines' indentation don't align. The senior dev (reviewer) asks me to format according to the project scheme.
Changed all tabs to spaces; lines don't align.
Changed all spaces to tabs (with a heavy heart); surprisingly it still doesn't align!!
I'm like okay, let's dive deeper.. Found that the surrounding lines were indented this way: 4 spaces followed by a tab..!! SERIOUSLY!?! WHY? HOW? I mean how does this kind of shit happen?!
Worst part -> getting ship it after following the current convention!

Oh my god I forgot to add swap to my install. No wonder I'm having memory issues 😅

how many remember playing Prince of Persia this way. prince.exe megahit

Okay but

A js library with the exact same api as jquery, only using native js functions so developers can simply swap out the jquery file

Finally selling my gtx 1070 and going to swap to AMD, just wanting to know if anyone has heard anything about the RX 590 finally playing nice with linux?

Heard it was causing a lot of issues, just don't want to buy it and have more problems than I am with NVIDIA at the moment!

Our approach is to get a loose feel for what the client wants, lift some visuals from Theme Forest then spend the next few weeks persuading the client to use our crappy server rather than their preferred AWS solution. Then once the project is behind schedule we break the work down into disparate tasks each of which gets a single line brief from the PM (such as 'create admin' or 'do css'). These then get assigned to different devs with no consideration of their skillset. The PM is available for 10 mins every day to answer queries, the rest of the time our devs are expected to work autonomously. Meanwhile we'll tell the client that we're back on schedule and arrange a demo for an impossibly short deadline. We have the mantra ”dont worry about it” which the PM uses to quash any dev's concerns up until the day before the deadline at which point we'll swap some devs on to unrelated work whilst others concentrate on getting "just the pages the client wants to see looking right" (we have a policy of making it look like it works before it actually does.) Following the demo we will announce all the missing features we had forgotten about from the initial undocumented agreement and set the project aside whilst we service another client.

Day 9 of non smoking (attempt no. 16). How do people cope without smoking? its so difficult. After phone call with client... go for a smoke. Get off plane/train go immediately to smoke. Done some good code/solved something, go for celebratory smoke. Have a rehearsal with my band... go for a smoke. Go to the pub...go for a smoke. It’s woven in to the fabric of my existence and unpicking it is a long and painful task. I don’t do the e-cig thing. I don’t want to swap addictions.

After being on devrant for a while, I've been inspired to move to Linux, and my desire to learn is making me consider Arch. My only issue is that I don't have a computer to swap OS', because there are some people who depend on my laptop when I'm not home (more on that another time, maybe), and they will have a fit if I switch. 😥

Anyone have any experience on booting from a external HDD (and not a stick)?

It's kinda calming to find out that the atlassian-guys themselves don't know very good about their stuff either

Geekiest non Dev Activity.
Easily playing Magic The Gathering every Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening.
EDH, Standard and Draft.

Get off my swap!!!

Goals for 2019
- Land an internship at either of the companies I'm in the final stages of interview for.
- Nail my exams.
- Publish an application to the app store.
- Buy an RTX 2080ti.
- Start a blog.
(Dev-ish goals I guess)

In an algorithm class, professor introduced us to some simple search algorithms (bubble sort, selection sort, insertion sort, shell sort). He did a quite decent job and most of the students were able to grasp the code and understand the differences in those algorithms. But then he spoiled his whole lecture with one additional slide. There he proposed an optimization: Instead of using a temporary swap variable, we just could use the first array element (or the zeroth element, respectively: the one ad index 0) for doing all the swapping. We just had to document that, so that the caller would "leave the first position of the array empty", resulting in "cleaner code". And he did that in the same class where he used Big-O notation to argue about runtime complexity. But having the caller to resize the array and to shift all the elements by one position did not matter to him at all, because it was "not part of the actual algorithm".

## building my own router

I hoped things would go more smoothly :)
Anyway, my new miniPC easily accepted CentOS 8 - no fuss here. And I've got to say - I love CentOS8 so far! Shell has amazing nifty tricks, UI (gnome3) is also snappy, video/audio/ethernet,.. everything works.

What I did NOT expect is hardware being off. Well okay, the price was low - it was obvious smth is not right. But still.. I decided to build my own router so that I could swap wifi card whenever I want. So that I could run my own network services in there. Turns out - the card swapping is not as easy as one might think.

I got the AX200 WiFi6 card for that very purpose. But once plugged in the OS can only see it's bluetooth module. Weird... What's even weirder is that even though the card is PCIe, the OS uses btusb module to talk to that device. What? USB?? emm.. What??

And there it is. After opening it up again I noticed that the mPCIe area is marked with a label: "USB WIFI / WWAN". USB? Does that mean this PCIe slot is wired into the USB bus? Not impossible I guess.

Googling for a "pcie wifi over usb" or smth like that brought me to one reddit (I think?) where someone wanted to build a DIY wifi mPCIe -> USB adapter and someone else adviced hime that (for some reason) at best he could only get bluetooth working (hey! just like me!). It's got to do smth with pcie channels and USB being too weak to handle all that load, or smth.. IDK, I'm not a HW guy.

Well that sucks then! I have a mPCIe slot that does not work as a PCIe. Shit! So I guess the best I could do is to plug back in the same wifi card that came with the device. It smells like 2003 - supports only g protocol. Fine, let's try that. Maybe I'll find a way to work around this mPCIe limitation later on (USB adapter or smth... except there are no USB WIFI6 dongles yet :( ). So I plug it back in and start turning it into a router. Disable NetworkManager, configure static NCs' settings, install dhcpd, hostapd, bind and others. Looks like all is done! Now it's time to start it all. systemctl start hostapd --> FAILED. wtf? journalctl says it could not initialize a driver. umm okay? Why? Forums say I should airodump-ng check and kill whatever's using that device. Fine. airodumo reveals avahi and wpa_suppl are still using it. kill, kill, GOTTA KILL 'EM ALL!! Starting hostapd again -- same shit... wtf?

iw list

My gawd... That shitty network card does not even support AP mode :( I mean.. My USB wifi dongle for 2€ supports 2x more modes, is faster, has better range and is easier to work with than this old tart!

Yeah. That was an interesting day. When enfironment engineers break my testing environments at work I'm glad I have where to spend my time now.

BTW any ideas how to bypass this mPCIe nonsense? Come on, there are USB GPUs out there.. Why can't they make a USB (or dual-USB if they really need to) mPCIe adapter?

Tired of having to swap around projects all the time, so I'ma give Docker some love <3

So there's one guy working on a Linux machine (everyone else is on a Mac) and it always caused problems because it kept freezing/crashing.
now he's going to get a Mac
turned out there was no swap assigned

Swap - Used: 0 Free: 0 Total: 0

At least the mystery has been solved

Customer: "My system feels very slow"
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wrote a parody of Sound of Silence based on the struggles of cleaning up people's shit in the shop

============

Hello problems, my old friends
I've come to talk with you again
Because a driver softly creeping
Left its seeds while RAM was leaking
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of crashing

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow bands of networking
'Neath the halo of a burned-out fan
I turned my collar to the hot and spinning
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of an LED light
That split the night
And touched the sound of crashing

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand tasks, maybe more
Programs malloc with no swap
Programs writing with no space
Programs writing bits that voices never play
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of crashing

"Fools, " said I, "You do not know
Malware, like a plague, it grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my tools that I might help you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells, of crashing

And the programs bowed and prayed
To the malware god they made
And Windows flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And Windows said, "The words of the prophets are written in the event log
And dumped over COM"
And whispered in the sounds of crashing

Fuck you Windows 10 Activation I should not have to use a phone system to reactivate after losing $100 already due to needing a motherboard swap 😡

Ever felt like swapping variables?

a, b = b, a

It is the small things that count

The one that got me to my current employment. I was working as a sysadmin and was trying to switch to dev. I'd tried one interview in another company and failed it miserably. I was soooo nervous I was literally shaking. And I think I failed every possible dev question. Ffs I couldn't even remember how to swap 2 variables! Yes, I was THAT nervous. Bcz I needed that spot so much.

After that I decided to cool down for a few weeks. Then my current employer's hr reached out and asked to come over. I did. We had a chat with HR and they told me I'll be asked to do a homework task. Surely I was okay with it! They sent me the task via email, but smth [I don't recall what] happened at my sysadmin work and I was extremely short on time. I missed the homework due date ofc. A few days later they reached out to me and gave me another week. I missed that too. Again I got a call from them and I was asked what was the problem. I explained I don't have time atm and mentioned that it might be better to skip this oppurtunity for me. That it might be bettet for them to hire someone else.

To my surprise they did not back off. They kept talking, one thing led to another and somehow they made me commit to arrive to their office to do the homework task.

I was startled. I would have bailed on me if I were them... They didn't..

They didn't give up on me
they are amazing

Finish my degree with a 1st.
Have a job lined up.
Have made something worthwhile.

I turn 21 in a month, and I still have no idea what I want to pursue as a career after university or how to get there.
Sure its two years away but I feel behind already.
Also how does one go about getting an internship in the UK?
I've yet to speak to anyone from any dev industry and it's beginning to concern me.

V a c a t i o n s should be next questions. Like where people are or went.

I have a buying dilemma.

Do I buy a new phone, laptop, or desktop?

Phone: I just want a better camera so I don't have to spend time photoshopping the RAWS manually. Everything else is fine, it's rooted and had no bloatware, have external powerpak

laptop/desktop: my current laptop is usable but it someone had boot error. Feels like 1 day it will just die, dunno when.

Desktop n laptop are same price and have 2TB HD, 16GB RAM, i7

Laptop also has 256SSD.

Desktop I think has better GFX and was thinking I could just swap my laptops current SSD (also 256GB) and put it in as the primary, tho not sure how.

I usually go by don't buy this stuff until u need it (Moore's Law) but should I buy for just the sake of convenience/upgrade?

vscode for now. I swap editors when I get bored of one. All editors have something cool to them. Except Vim. Screw Vim.

Why does Fedora try to load the last session from swap for 1m30s, even when there is NO SWAP PRESENT?
I'm not telling you to hibernate, I WANT YOU TO SHUT DOWN!

Probably those methods & functions that swap between haystack and needle as they see fit..

Face swap is really cool! This meme took me about 10 minutes to make.

Fk you Google!

My Samsung note 10 screen went dead near a week ago... it's a secondary line so waiting for parts wasn't the end of the world.

Ofc the screen (curved and incl a fingerprint reader thatd be a major pain to not replace) was integrated to the whole front half... back panel glued, battery, glued immensely and with all other parts out, about 6mm space only at the bottom to get a tool in to pry it out.

New screen (off brand) ~200... all genuine parts amazon refurb ~230... figured id have some extra hardware for idk what... i like hardware and can write drivers so why not.

Figured id save a bit of time and avoid other potentially damaged (water) components to just swap out the mobo unit that had my storage.

Put it back together, first checked that my sim was recognised since this carrier required extraneous info when registering the dev... worked fine... fingerprint worked fine, brave browser too...

Then i open chrome. It tells me im offline... weird cuz i was literally in a discord call. My wifi says connected to the internet (not that i wouldn't have known the second there was a network issue... i have all our servers here and a /28 block... ofc i have everything scripted and connected to alert any dev i have, anywhere i am, the moment something strange happens).

Apparently google doesnt like the new daughter board(i dislike the naming scheme... its weird to me)... so anything that is controlled by google aside from the google account that is linked to non-google reliant apps like this... just hangs as if loading and/or says im offline.

I know... itll only take me about the 5-10m it took to type this rant but ffs google... why dont you even have an error message as to what your issue is... or the simple ability to let me log in and be like 'yup it's me, here's your dumb 2fa and a 3rd via text cuz you're extra paranoid yet dont actually lock the account or dev in any way!'

I think it's a toss up if google actually knows that it's doing this or they just have some giant glitch that showed up a couple times in testing and was resolved via the methods of my great grama- "just smack it or kick it a few times while swearing at it in polish. Like reaaaally yelling. Always worked for me! If not, find a fall guy."

I would love to see the environment that the Mac OS X team works in.

Do they work in all cubicles? Is it more of an open space? Do they use the latest Macs? If so, do they use all Apple hardware? Or do they swap out keyboards/mice with ones that they prefer? Which secondary displays they use etc.

I just wonder if the professional Mac OS X developers actually use their Macs the same way that Apple wants their customers to use them.

Is it normal for a codebase to have almost no comments?

Had to swap my devrant outfit...
I was smelly 🙄
And now there is ink on my arm 😍

Four hours of work and the work horse decides to have a heart attack.

Thank the server gods for swap files.

Ugh am so done with linux.

I dualbooted ubuntu 16.4 LTS alongside win10 on my new laptop 3 years ago. Back then , the whole os and kernel stuff were new for me, but once i understood how things work in it, i always found linux to be a superior alternative for doing any development related task than windows.
The way terminal gives us sheer raw power to handle services and applications ourselves makes everything easy in linux.

Wanna run a lamp server? Install all parts by yourselves. Problems with the lamp server? You are just 1 command away to know which service/package is causing issue. Some python module fucked up? You can go on checking every package present anywhere on your disk. No permissions? Sudo.

But recently i got so much fed up of its gui. I have gone from 16.4 to 18.4 to 20.4 , but no version seems to handle multiple gui s/w running parallely .
I usually have the requirement to open 2-3 windows of chrome with 30-40 tabs, 1-2 projects of Android studio and studio emulator. But this shit blows even with just 1 project open on studio and nothing else! The even the keyboard and mouse gets stuck when i studio is making a built.
And don't get me started on how slow my system becomes when switching b/w AS and chrome :''( . Maybe there's issue with the dual boot or because i gave very large swap/root partitions when i first dualbooted or something else , but i am in so much pain :/

Finally i went back to win10 a month ago and was a little surprised to find that it sucks a little less now. Aside from the ugly forceful updates, it has been a breeze for working . The builds take longer time (fuck windows defender), but My Android studio (and everything else) does not lag when switching between multiple processes. I even once ran an emulator instance and it was still working fine . The process management of windows is very good.

I have heard that mac is kind of in middle of the 2 and better than both providing rich process management and powerful terminal commands . Waiting for the day when i have enough money(or no longer require my kidney) to buy and maintain a MacBook :/

ME: Ugh can't even swap this laptop for a mac of any sort, only have people offering to sell one...

*Leans back in chair and think's how cheap I could build a hackintosh for*

ME: Wait a fucking second, I have OSX El Capitan with clover installed on a USB...

It's fucking working! :-D

>Raspberry Pi on 16GB SD card
>Plugs in 2 flash drives for space, one 8GB and one 32GB
>8GB is allocated entirely for swap
>32GB is separated into 3 partitions and /etc/fstab edited to mount them on /home, /opt and /usr
>Moves files to the proper partitions on stick
>Kernel panic on boot before keyboard is enabled, kernel panic data taller than screen
>No R/W FS for kernel to dump to
fuck my life

Finding good learning resources is difficult.
It shouldn't be.
But it is.
And that makes me sad.

plot twist: instead of wife swap, all the devRanters swap project managers

I hate that I swap the branches everytime I want to compare them...

a, b = b, a
Because that's how it's supposed to be done!

Ok so there are a lot of things out there like #WhyIUseLinux, well as a Linux lover that is stuck using windows, I say we start a 'why I use windows' discussion.

For me, I'm stuck on windows simply because the game development engine I use is only on windows and mac and doesn't seem to play nicrly when run on a VM, if the software was released on Linux I would swap over in a heart beat!

My company is getting a new website. This involves getting new hosting.

I made the old one, and it's all just static html. I'm not that attached to it but it's an important detail.

The bosses want the switch to the new site to happen instantly, but I pointed out that with DNS propagation times etc it can't really happen that way.

So I suggested the new web guys host our old site for a few days and we change the DNS now. Then when they want to launch we don't have to wait for the DNS and they can just swap it out.

This involves dropping 10MB of html files into the web directory on the new server.

For this service they are charging us for 2 hours of their time!

I guess I'm in the wrong business...

Lately programs have been crashing a lot on my pc, I've tried different things like disabling SWAP for a sec, BIOS changes, remove firefox and use Google Chrome, try different commands, it kept happening.

Obviously along the way I started investigating what was causing these crashes, looking through bug reports and my syslog. There was no consistency, except for 1 thing: SIGENV. Everything that crashed had a segmentation fault, now I'm not an expect and I don't know what this means or how to fix it, so I went to Google to ask for answers.

Then I downloaded memtest and ran a memory test, error palooza. Then I went to Windows and ran memory check, error palooza.

This is week 3 of this high-end gaming pc which was a huge investment AND IT HAS BEEN FUCKING WITH ME BECAUSE OF BAD MEMORY HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN I ALMOST STARTED TO DOUBT UBUNTU BUT IT WAS A FUCKING FAULT IN BRAND NEW MEMORY MODULES WHAT THE FUCK.

Obviously I'm pissed off. Today I'm gonna call the store that assembled it to voice my complaints.

Thank you for listening to my TedTalk.

2 things
0:considering whats happening with the Linux CoC would it be a good idea to swap back to Manjaro Linux
1:whats a good password manager that's free and can synchronize and perfectible has a desktop program

So I recently finished a rewrite of a website that processes donations for nonprofits. Once it was complete, I would migrate all the data from the old system to the new system. This involved iterating through every transaction in the database and making a cURL request to the new system's API. A rough calculation yielded 16 hours of migration time.

The first hour or two of the migration (where it was creating users) was fine, no issues. But once it got to the transaction part, the API server would start using more and more RAM. Eventually (30 minutes), it would start doing OOMs and the such. For a while, I just assumed the issue was a lack of RAM so I upgraded the server to 16 GB of RAM.

Running the script again, it would approach the 7 GiB mark and be maxing out all 8 CPUs. At this point, I assumed there was a memory leak somewhere and the garbage collector was doing it's best to free up anything it could find. I scanned my code time and time again, but there was no place I was storing any strong references to anything!

At this point, I just sort of gave up. Every 30 minutes, I would restart the server to fix the RAM and CPU issue. And all was fine. But then there was this one time where I tried to kill it, but I go the error: "fork failed: resource temporarily unavailable". Up until this point, I believed this was simply a lack of memory...but none of my SWAP was in use! And I had 4 GiB of cached stuff!

Now this made me really confused. So I did one search on the Internet and apparently this can be caused by many things: a lack of file descriptors or even too many threads. So I did some digging, and apparently my app was using over 31 thousands threads!!!!! WTF!

I did some more digging, and as it turns out, I never called close() on my network objects. Thus leaving ~30 new "worker" threads per iteration of the migration script. Thanks Java, if only finalize() was utilized properly.

We have a CMS that’s supposed to be simple to use so non-technical staff can make some webpages. A lot of it doesn’t require much brain work. Just duplicate a page and swap out text and images. But they keep forgetting how to log in to the website even though I shared written instructions on how to log in.

Recently, I told the Head of Engineering Manager that we should retire the CMS because it’s not intuitive to use and it doesn’t get used a lot. There used to be one dude who did it, but he left. So employee turnover plus no one using it a lot means folks don’t learn or forget. And they end up coming to Engineering for help with swapping out text and images.

Guys I heard a rumor that you like riddles, I'm stuck on my theory project and I'd like to throw a bone:

Say you have a list p = [7,6,2,3,4,5,1,0] and you want to order it, i.e. change it to [0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7], by swapping adjacent elements. Provide an algorithm to do this optimally, when:
a. (Warm-up) each swap costs 1
b. Swaps weight is [4,3,2,1,2,3,4], i.e. if you want to swap position 0 with 1 it'd cost 4, position 3 with 4 will cost 1 and so on.

The optimal overall cost for b is 50 (I did an exhaustive search), however you need to find a general approach which is able to order every list with minimal overall cost (no time constraints as long as the solution is not exponential in the list length), using the provided weight function.

(you get a credit if the solution goes to a paper or anything 😉 it's actually a computer science open problem, but seems possible to me)

I'm studying games development at university and as a course it may not be the best but I enjoy it. With the department courses like Computer Sciences etc run alongside and we're given the choice to swap if we want. At the end of first year a few left the class and a few came in.

Forward to now where we're actually making games. I'm in a team of 4 working on a minecraft clone using Direct X 12 (50% of the module). Immediately one asked "who actually wants to make games?" to which they all said "no... This course is pointless, I don't want to make games" . So now I'm stuck on a team with a group of people who think its all stupid and want to do bare minimum work and want to solve no problems or do anything interesting with the project...

Internships just kinda suck.
Like sure I'm probably not as good as the other Devs but knowing I'm getting over 5x less pay than anyone else in the room hurts.
Salaried and it works out at less than minimum wage if you convert it to hourly. Honestly what the fuck.
The experience im getting has been good but having to continue being on a student loan while working 38.5 hours a week is outrageous. Living in an already expensive city and I'm probably spending 10% of my pay on lunch in the office's canteen.

When you keep telling your boss that you remade one of their sites so that it has BCrypt(currently use SHA-512),CSRF checks, stricter Auth/Cookie encryption and that we should swap it and all he says we will get to it.

wot n tarnation-_-

My work lappy just now invoked an OOMKiller.

Mem[||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||56.7G/62.5G]

*sigh*
`swapon -a` it is then... :(

TL;DR - I came up with an ingenious version of a solution to a problem and still got 0 marks.

In my bachelor's degree we learned about abstraction, as usual for CS degree students.

In a later exam, a coding question asked us to swap two variables values without using a third variable and print the before and after on the screen.

You can read the question above again, because wait for it....

So this is what I wrote basically (JS equivalent solution),

class Solution {
constructor(obj) {
this.var1 = obj.var1;
this.var2 = obj.var2;
}

swap() {
return {"var1": this.var2, "var2": this.var1};
}
}

let input = {"var1":5, "var2": 7}
let object = new Solution(input);
console.log('Before');
console.log(input);
let solution = object.swap();
console.log('After');
console.log(solution);

Now look, before your boomer asses jump in and say "aCkChUaLlY tHiS iS iNcORrEcT"
I did include all kinds of comments that this is abstracted. The swap function is hidden away and the object variable doesn't need to know what it's doing.

In the context of this question, this is absolutely acceptable as a solution since the end-goal is to print the results on the screen and the user wouldn't see the source code.

I still got 0 on that question and I still get pissed about it sometimes, when I remember it, like just now.

So I decided to install a third OS on my laptop and oh boy, I never thought I'd have to deal with so many issues!

First, I had to make space for the new OS, so I did the only feasible thing - Shrunk a windows partition (Used for gaming only), then installed the third OS into it. (For clarification, one OS was Windows, the second Debian for work and the new one was Kali for a course at school about security and ethical hacking)

Well... After I installed and tried out that the Kali worked... My Debian began to make problems. It would hang for almost a minute during start as it tried to mount a (for some reason) no longer existing Swap partition.

After it gave up and I found out... I, fortunately, fixed it after just a bit of googling. At least I learned to repack the ramfs.

It worked all fine and dandy... Only... My Debian now shared the swap with Kali.

Few weeks forward, last friday, I tried to boot up Kali at class... Only for it to... Stop at a black screen, weird.

Some minor detective work later, I found out nothing was... Wrong really.
But... For some mysterious reason, my complete GDM just.... No longer worked.

One LightDM and XFCE instal later (Thanks god that at least TTY still worked fine), it finally worked again, and this time, I booted back into Debian, shrunk the Kali partition a little more and dedicated it's own swap there. Setting and resetting everything, and finally had a working triple-boot laptop...

My only question is... Why?

Does sharing Swap really affect the system so much, besides hibernation ofc.

I installed Snapchat to try the gender swap filter...

I was bi-curious.

I have never thought that eventually I'll swap from Twitter to another feed-based app. It's already 2 weeks I forgot about Twitter. #devRant <3

Finally decided to do some planning before writing code but now I feel like I'm just procrastinating around writing the code.
The struggle is real.