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You're a bit too junior we need someone with a bit more experience.
Job was listed as junior/apprentice dev.9 -
This made my day (and is the 3rd freaking time I try to get this shared here. Definitely need more coffee)
2 -
Team lead dismisses my request for promotion to senior, "need more experience", 3 hours later get job offer for senior position5
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Dev submitting PR: “Testing instructions: Self explanatory”
Dev reviewing PR: You need to be a bit more verbose than that.
Dev submitting PR: “Testing instruction: Feature should work as expected”
Dev reviewing PR: *sigh*… Feature doesn’t work as expected
Dev submitting PR: WHAT IS NOT WORKING AS EXPECTED??? I NEED MORE DETAIL THAN THAT!!
Dev reviewing PR: …….So do I you muppet5 -
Good guy @dfox,
When he sees a good rant without upvotes, he upvotes it.
We need more like @dfox.
Be like @dfox :)12 -
There is only one reason to pause coding: a girlfriend. But since I don't have one I need more Coffee I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.4
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Best thing about devRant is that if I rant here, I don't need to look like a jaded sociopath on Facebook any more. 😉2
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JetBrains released KotlinConf app
Backend made with Kotlin
Frontend made with Kotlin
Android made with Kotlin
AND GODDAMN IOS made with Kotlin!
Holy shit, that's awesome
https://github.com/JetBrains/...10 -
Protip: appending ", dammit" to your Google searches tells their NLP algorithms that you need more relevant results6
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On call part 3: I'M BACK ON THE CAL FROM YESTERDAY FOR THE LAST 6.5 HOURS AND THEY'RE JUST DOING WHAT I TOLD THEM TO DO YESTERDAY. Is it because I'm female? Does having boobs mean I don't know how ssl works and that I can't possibly know about networks? I'm seriously about to just hang up and tell them to deal with it on their own.
Cup is there because it expresses my mood.
12 -
Boss: Hey squares, I need one of you to select a new volume control, if you spot anything let me know.
Me: Say no more
2 -
Saw this online, had to giggle:
"I dropped my laptop off the boat. It’s a Dell, rolling in the deep"3 -
I ran out of instant noodles and had to go out to buy some, and literally the first thought that came to my mind was "Why the fuck is the sun so bright"
No, seriously, why does it feel so bright1 -
Product owner: "I want these 6 epics delivered in 12 months"
Me: "can't to that with 2 devs, need more"
PO: "how many?"
Me: "can't say, you haven't spec'd them"
PO: "how do you know 2 devs can't deliver them?"
Me: "educated fucking estimations you fucktrumpet - at least 2 of them look like 6 month projects for 2 devs, so you need to pay for more resource!"9 -
"There were a lot of complaints about missing grades" well, yes. That's what happens when you make me grade all 60 submissions every week while I work 10-12 hours a day at my other job, on average.17
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I hate access. I wish I could use literally any other program. But they're not authorized.
I'm the only one working on this, and everything is closed. How the fuck is the object in use somewhere else? And where the fuck did my primary key go???7 -
WHY DO WE HAVE TO BUY THE PROFESSOR'S BOOK JUST TO BE ABLE TO PASS THE COURSE?
It's so stupid, I'm currently attending a Operating Systems course at university and the professor NEEDS us to buy his book because all of the tasks and seminars are based on his book. It is stupid! There are thousands of books out there on Operating Systems programming! Free ones too! But instead we have to spend 800SEK (100USD) on his book.
And guess what? There is literally one task based on his book... To summarize the chapters about Fixed Priority scheduling and Dynamic Priority scheduling. Which is 15 pages out of 200+.
All the students attending the course are going to the director of studies and complaining next week. This is unacceptable. If it was a good book, sure. But the book has the same exact information as multiple free e-books we've found.
Ridiculous.15 -
"I'm almost done, I just need to write some tests"
Almost all fail
"Okay, maybe I need a few more days"4 -
It seems possible to need 1000x times more resources on a game for Linux/Mac than for Windows.
Windows has to be that efficient. 😂
(Typical typo)
4 -
Does anyone else usually feel a bit homicidal towards someone(replace with boss or client) who doesn’t know a thing about what you do but constantly critiques your work?
Client: I don’t like how it looks, put some more design on it.
What does that even mean ????!?!6 -
Think My manager is following me on this, need more anonymity @dfox need to change my username and put a balaclava on my avatar2
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Please explain it to me again why you need more space for your 200 mb database that has a 500 gb log file.4
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Anyone else flipping tired of hearing: we need more this, more that, more blacks, more women, more whatever, in tech?
We don’t fucking need more anyone in anything.
We just need sane, talented and hard working people to get the job done well. And do that with courtesy to all person.11 -
TGIF!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 but still need to appear productive for 2 more hours... 2 more hours..... 😩😩😩😩😩😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴2
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“You have a Jira?”
“You need a Jira, first”
“Open a Jira”
“You need a Jira for that too”
“That Jira is on the wrong board, plus you need to email _this_ form first”
Jira, Jira, Jira-fucking-jira, AAAHHHHHHHHHHH, STOP!
My job appears to be nothing more than an abstraction layer around Jira. A leaky abstraction11 -
Assuming you make $100k and that's more than covers your cost of living.
Would you prefer being able to work from home whenever you need or make $30k more but have to goto the office pretty much every day?
The commute is 1hr.37 -
I'm regretting trying so hard at my jobs. I get passionate and over perform, and because of that, I'm given more responsibility and put in more leadership roles with no more pay. I need to get better at doing the bare minimum and leaving the passion for home projects6
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Client: We need to deploy some Windows 2003 servers.
Us: Sure thing, Mr. Client. Your money is more important than the security and stability of our systems.
What we should have said: Sure, but you need to stop in our office, put your dick in a vice and we'll take turns cranking that bitch closed until you agree to use something more modern.4 -
Need to send a mail to a more senior member of the team. Could use a hand translating the below into something more work appropriate.
"You have reached a new level of wrong, you insufferable prick, please just shut up and leave"11 -
Why is it that every library has some kind of an "example", but every time I need a more complex one, there are exactly zero6
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Switching to linux soon.. C is too limited on windows. I also need to find more programming friends :/ but I dont know how to make programming friends /:17
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Nothing give more pleasure than find out the cli tool you need is already installed in your distro5
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Place: Microsoft, Visual Studio department
Boss: we need to make beautiful changes, and make the development process more simple and beautiful.
Employee 1: let's arrange error messages to be more readable.
Boss: no, I don't need any details of error, just say there is an error.
Employee: But..
Boss: This is genius, do it now.
Me: 😭
2 -
Our neighbors need more toilet paper badly. I wonder if they’ll go door to ask asking people to spare a few squares next 🤔
3 -
Hey devs!😀
Will drinking coffee help you reduce your sleeping hours?
I'm used to sleep 6-7 hr but still need more time , wondered if I can reduce it to 4 hr with drinking more coffee.
Any pointers?42 -
"We need more test coverage!"
it("should test that function") {
subject.function();
expect(true).toBe(true);
}
Coverage goes up 30%
"Awesome! Now we're TDD!" -
-Programming my mobile app
-Need to debug something
-App crashes instantly (only) when I try to use debugger.
Guess no more debugging. FML4 -
Node.js homepage went full retard. Black people don’t need more Node?js. Actually, noone should need this.
8 -
When you just need 2 points more for that rubber duck and you need the duck zo bad :/
"rubber duck why wont my code compile"
~squeek
"... " -
I’m gonna start contributing to open source projects on GitHub. I need to expand and get in touch with more communities.3
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This moment when you have to reject dream projects as a freelancer. Other projects came early and will pay more and longer. :'(
I need a twin!4 -
Ah, nothing quite like settling in for some beer and mindless Internet videogame violence on a Saturday night only to find out 30 mins into your session that your PSU has shat itself.
Time to go shopping I guess...1 -
I've been away from devRant (and other social media) for a few days because I thought i needed to concentrate on a project that I'm currently working on.
I just realized that I need this, I really need to rant! There is just too much to rant about. Like how fuckin annoying tomcat is, (don't ask me, someone is paying for me to use it), or how eclipse is happily hugging over 1gb of my ram, ( again don't ask), meanwhile vscode is doing just the same thing (debugging a tomcat server) with less than 300mb! There's so much to be annoyed about that I truly don't know how I was getting along before devRant.2 -
i miss being intuitive, creative, free of that need for productivity and reason and purpose. i need more of that dionysian energy in my life4
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One of the popular hotel booking sites 😂😂.One more example for why need to take testing more serious when we have a huge users base 🙆
1 -
I need to be more professional. As such, my sticker phase is beginning to come to a close. Pls don't kill me
9 -
Every job interview I go through I feel more certain that I need to get out of my job asap and more doubtful that I wanna work with these companies.
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I look at my GitHub profile and I see when I have writer's block and fits of inspiration.
I need more green squares!7 -
me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy
me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more* -
Am I the only one, who craves for a little praise? Just one little "good job" now and then would make wonders.5
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CTO s shouldn't write software once there are more than 50 devs in the company. They shouldn't make tech decisions. It is time for you to back off and help with more important things. We really need you to get process nailed down. We really need you to help us understand business better. Not writing code.1
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Dear team leader, If you tell me „I need to review this merge request before merging”, then make sure you are able to allocate time to do this.
If you need MORE THAN A WEEK to even start, then maybe your delegation skills are nonexistent. -
Today we learned:
Don't run a backup integrity check on terabytes of data in multiple jobs your cpu can't handle.
And i cannot abort the process...
Guess i have to go outside, in the cold, brrrr.1 -
Definitely 'ditto' this is one of the best tool for every programmer.
It's a multi clipboard-history where you can store more then one item. You never need to think: 'what's last thing in my clipboard. Do I still need it?'1 -
Me(handling 3 simultaneous apps): we have too many projects need another dev to share the load
Boss: don't worry...
Proceeds to hire one more Dev and take 3 more projects on :/
Logic!=present.1 -
I need a vacation. More importantly, I need money to take said vacation.
Side note, how the fuck do Europeans afford to take super long vacations.33 -
ABAP - a language that is frozen in the 60s
PHP - an inconsistent language
Flashplayer - do i need to say more?
Internet Explorer - ↑5 -
As many here might be aware, the new RTX series dropped! With this, a lot more performances… and a lot more power consumption
At this rate you'll soon need a dedicated grid to power this shit. This is pissing me off, as we're not living in times of energetic abundance. Prices of fuel skyrocket due to the situation in Eastern Europe, and we need more than ever to find alternative energy sources that don't mess our planet further up. So the last thing we need is some piece of computer hardware that chugs near as much as a fucking vacuum cleaner
There's a petition treating of that with more details, if you agree this is a problem, it would be awesome if you could sign it and share it everywhere you can
https://chng.it/hGkcvHpdY87 -
When you are so tired that you just fell asleep with the flashlight of your handy on and shining directly at you 😪
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At what point do you stop optimizing queries and realize it's a database architecture, scaling problem?
We've been having production issues this week because a lot more users with more demands, and I'm going we need more servers... We can't just have one db, we need to parallelize like Hadoop...
Everyone else is going, how do we optimize queries, indexes, reduce the load...11 -
Oh man. When I look for a job after I'm done with school, I need to watch out for those "pay-per-line" bullshit contracts. More lines? Everyone can do that, but it will cause inefficiency just for the money. I could make a fucking Python Hello World program have 100 needed lines if I wanted to, but why would I? More lines = more typing ≠ more work.3
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My wife says to me we need a new car..
Im sitting here trying to decide what I need more a car or a new computer.
Decisions, decision..7 -
Js -
"Let me just call this function"
"Oh I need to do something with the return value. Callback"
"Oh I need to do something with that value too. Another callback..."
"Oh, again. Another callback"
"I should have thought about this more beforehand..."1 -
I'm confused. How'd we go from contributors like Ada Lovelace, Grace Hopper and Margret Hamilton, to: WE NEED MORE WOMEN IN TECH, WE NEED MORE WOMEN IN TECH!!!10
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I think CPU manufacturers should start using bogomips as their focal point in advertising.
That poor unscientific measurement is neglected.
We should be aiming for Megabogomips by now people. MEGABOGOMIPS. -
"Yep, I think I finally see the end of the project, we will be able to finish this, I just quickly need to add a simple UI on top of it and a simple admin page" - what this usually meant, that I am nowhere near anything usable, I have just created the database structure. What would have happened, if I would have actually been honest with my bosses and would have asked for more help? 😟2
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Someone : this is not critical, if you have more important task or deadlines, prioritize it first.
Me : doing my more important task/deadlines
Someone, chatting me every hour : Is it ready? I need to submit it ASAP!!!!
What a pain in the ass!!!! -
!rant
Suggestion: devRant-rubberduck
I somehow feel like i need a devRant themed rubberduck in order to debug more efficiently..3 -
My daily routine :`)
wake up between 5:00 am to 11:00 am -> eat unhealthy breakfast and sometimes miss breakfast -> watch useless youtube videos -> beat my meat -> do some coding -> watch more useless videos -> eat lunch -> do some more coding -> watch more useless videos -> eat dinner -> and then sleep
REPEAT
NEED HELP!!!8 -
My teacher at C++ Class just forced all students to yawn and stretch, so he could feel more energy from our side.1
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Wait a minute.....@dfox was giving away squishy devrant balls?! ugh I need to rant more. rant rant rant.6
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I NEED MORE ANIMATED RANTS!
NOW!
no please make more of them they were amazing, especially the GODDAM SOUNDS AT THE BEGINNING AND THE END! SO FUCKING AMAZING!3 -
One coffee down and my eyes are just glazing over my code and wondering... right... what is it I gotta do now ... ? What day is it ... Where am I ...3
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That moment when you worked with bug 2 days and now it's a feature! I need to drink more coffee because it helps - Ready to do more!
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Looks familiar?
I really need to start giving more descriptive names when I test code..
Var that=
Vat thatt=
Var thattt=
....
Func workFFS=4 -
I need to decide about my new job:
+ 20% more salary
+ better job/role
+ 1 or 2 days in the office by average per week
- no more 100% remote
Accept or no? I have been working from home for 3 years24 -
Got my stickers, thanks a lot @dfox and everyone that made it possible
hoping for the stressball (need 1 more like on my other rant)
2 -
Ok guys just curious what time do you usually sleep and wake up? I usually sleep around 11pm or 12am and wake up 5:30am. I need to fix this5
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Life is so much more fun when electricity is cut off and you still need to get day's worth of work done from home5
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Starting my day with 15 emails that I urgently need to respond to. I hate Thursdays. It's just meetings and emails and more meetings and more emails. No time to get work done.2
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I need more people to listen to me. Sometimes, ActionListeners and EventListeners are just not enough.
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*laughs like a crazy mad man*
It's finnaly fucking happening!
No more need for developer mode and now I just need to wait for gamemaker studio 2 to be released on Linux (yeah it'll never happen I know)
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I'd tech Computer Science. You would think that we wouldn't need that anymore, but we would need it more than ever. We would never be safe with a superior intelligence! That's why we voted trump after all. ;)1
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Allright, so.. 3 (sort of 4) dev projects at work (7 roles in total), 2 (sort of 3) DEV projects at home, 2 guys approaching to me via messenger w/ DEV/Linux questions, family (with a baby), construction works in the apartment, taking care of the farmstead,...
Whenever you ask "what do you do", I'm not even sure where to start.
Whenever you call me with "Hello, I'm calling from company X, do you have some time to answer a few questions" I sort of want to hit someone really hard before answering "yes, sure". -
We need more enterprise level code!
Such as these innovative projects:
https://github.com/EnterpriseQualit...
https://github.com/Hello-World-EE/...7 -
I think I need more human interaction .... Anyone want a drink ?
Maybe not the best place to ask... I'll go to a bar -
Problem: Our three tools are not tracking what we're working on / done.
Solution: Need a fourth tool, or maybe just more moving back and forth between the three tools.
Expectation: We'll be more efficient.3 -
When your project starts off well structured, but ends up like a pile of goo. I need more experience it seems.
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Don't you hate it when you have too many GB or RAM occupied and then you decide to launch a VM without realizing that Virtualbox will not only take the remaining space left but will also cap your RAM and everything freezes!? Uugghhh!4
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"I'll go to bed on the hour."
1 minute past the hour:
"Dang, I'll need to wait until the next hour and get more code written." -
Okay here we go again...
Do you how to check idiot scrolling and looking for something....Its very simple, you just need to s...[Read more]1 -
On all job descriptions there seem to be so many requirements. Do you really have to know everything in order to get the job?2
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Really need to blog more. Tired of relearning the stuff I thought I got 3 months ago, all the time.🥺3
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I need a new laptop. Fucking 8gigs of ram aren't enough for anything these days.
Today at work I had 4 gig of swap allocated...
Any recommendations whether to buy ryzen mobile or IntelU. I want an ultrabook because I move around quite a lot.3 -
Devranters, you should make your products available on local stores in Asia, esp India. Like on Flipkart. I seriously need a 'stress ball' 🤔. I read it can help me stress more. Hence rant more! Not a coincidence
-
Lineageos finally found a way to add signature spoofing for microg. No need for special roms any more if you want to degoogle yourself.1
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How much I hate when someone says "You need to do this because in my experience this is more optimized". Dude, have you even profiled that?
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That moment when you're opening Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop as an Developer...
I really need an Designer and/or more Money for this shit.4 -
Why do people even need anything more than 100Mbps at home?
Are you guys running data centers at home?33 -
We need a code shortcode here for more dev jokes.
[code]
if (int devrantpoints <= 10 && bathroombreak) {
cout << newrant ();
}
[/code] -
The moment you realize that you don't need more than 100 Points to create an Avatar that looks like you in real life
-
*writes function*
*doesn't work*
*adds more shit to function*
*now can't think of what more you would need to add for it to work*
*changes random signs around for 30 minutes*4 -
you know that feel when you're in one or two weeks of vacation and one day, you look into the mirror and you notice you look like 5 years younger and also you're able to actually enjoy things in life and try out new things, and you wonder, what am i doing with my life...2
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I need to build a dynamic regular expression with matching 0 or more char, but \w doesn’t work.
new RegExp(‘^\/\w*#’ + route, ‘i’)
Any solution? 🥺14 -
Me : *do the right way to get the data I need, based on functionning project on same framework*
System : *does not working*
Me : *bypass by doing something more random*
System : *give the data I need*
I love frameworks. -
Windows Mosquito edition.
I guess they weren't happy with the current bugs and need more...
http://mspoweruser.com/microsoft-re...
1 -
*coding while day* "no motivation not inspiration.. need more coffee" && *coding while night* "I can see the matrix and bend it to my will"
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!feature so i didnt found facial hair of needed lenght on devrant. avatars need more longer beards.2
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After an idea has rolled into the production stage I become bored with it. I no longer want to maintain or even review git issues.
However when even the hint of a new project rolls in I start "pre-developing" in anticipation and excitement of a new project. Development and base design of a project is what keeps me going.
#firstworlddeveloperproblems3 -
I love Azure. But WHY do I need to add vCores SQL for more logs/io ?
Why is it even limited ?
So no, I won't add 350$/month for 1 more vCore just for some more Mbits of log io bandwich
6 -
Just one more layer of wrappers.
I thought CSS supposed to style the document , but now I need to change the document to get styled properly -
That moment when you need more space and realize you haven't emptied you trash files in a while and find realize you found 20% more hard drive space5
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Vacation starts tomorrow. First once since Christmas last year. Was thinking I should do some biking. But I need more ideas to fill my time. Suggestions?8
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What are some bulletproof linux distros, I'm tired of semi-stable distros that need more attention than the work that I'm trying to do on them.8
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sometimes need to learn about how people thinking much more than computer do. like visualitaion your "magic" code with some people want.
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Do you think we need one more option for sharing and getting feedback on ideas/projects we have in mind/ working on.
5 -
Sometimes, I feel like this profession is a piece of shit. There's more to life than all these stresses. There's gotta be a better way to make more money, I just need more perseverance.1
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I wish we can re-share ( retweet ) some rants and stories on devrant. Like it's a need more than a feature.9
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Automatically code all the nice stuff I'm dreaming to implement whilst sleeping. Or just remember what I dreamt of. Maybe I need more sleep 😬
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Please help me, I need a vertical mouse but the mice I see are trash, they last for a few months, please help.
I need it to have adjustable dpi via software, left/right button/mouse wheel and no more than that.12 -
I have a little ask for you guys, If you need to start a Java project, Will you use kotlin or Just Java? I'm a little confused with this choice, so i need more visions19
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Character setup and animations done. Now time to flesh out players, AI and maps. But need more coffee first. Loving UE4 engine.1
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Getting job where you need to find out a lot of things alone , not having interaction is more like yeah I don't need to sit with you guys.1
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good evening devs,
any suggestions/tips, on how to learn more efficiently, more effectively, more structured?
Recently, after school/work, my discipline to learn is lost a bit..
Because, watching tutorials or reading, while programming the shown, isn't the right thing for me.
I need definitely much more practice , to keep shit in my brain.
Maybe i need ideas? small projects and then make it bigger and bigger?
How do you learn?
Whats your way to practice?1 -
Nothing more secure than have 36 character length passwords mixing any kind of character in them and have them in a txt file inside my docs folder 🤯🤯🤫15
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The sound of kids arguing when you told your client you need one more day to finish up. Tomorrow you'll repeat your self.
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Everything that isn't code drives me nuts. Like build scripts? How do those even. And I always find myself fighting against my IDE to do simple things. And how do I use a debugger? Println statements only take me so far.
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need more experience for good entry-level jobs, need a good entry-level job for more experience. yay4
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Updated to Xcode 11.4, now git doesn't work and I need to download 1GB of Dev tools to get it working.
Xcode alone is 8GB wtf is included there if I still need to download more tools?1 -
I'm more partial to Sublime Text. Never got into the Atom craze, and always wanted to be more vim-ish.
But more and more people seem to be into VScode for some reason. Need to check that out soon.1 -
Any Elixir devs out there ?
I started learning Elixir to explore distributed computing.
Need more inputs.1 -
Remember, marketing does not want a better product. They just want dumber customers. So no need to push more features.1
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I need recommendation for site/community to improve my (clean) code style?
And, in more general, what are your ways to improve code style and programming way of thinking - more oriented towards bigger picture of application/systems (patterns, architecture, etc.)?3 -
We need an innovation center and more AI plus predictive analytics.
More agile too with agilists
Let’s create three new departments to combat bureaucracy! -
working on simple crud is hell of boring thing now, gimme more challenges SoS, apis, payment gateways stuff...I need them like narcos
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