Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
"WiFi is better than Ethernet because the air is bigger so it can hold more internet."
Yes, and horse-drawn carriages are better than cars because they have bigger wheels.13 -
ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?12 -
Difference between C# and Javascript
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
C#: That's not a cup of tea.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar in it.
C#: That's not a cup of tea with two tea spoons of sugar in it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk in it.
C#: That is not a cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk it.
...
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
Javascript: I'll hold your cup of coffee.31 -
"IoT is awesome~!"
"What things about it do you love?"
"Hm, hold on a second. Oh dear."
"Something wrong?"
"Just a sec. My Fridge is getting DDoS'd"14 -
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: Hi IT, I can't enter to my computer, i put my password and it says it's incorrect.
Me: Ok, hold me a few.
(10 seconds without do anything)
Me: Try again.
User: It worked! Thanks!!2 -
Customer: how will this heading look in bold?
Me: Hold a sec, I will show you *opens developer tools in chrome and increments font-weight*
Customer: NO NO NO, undo this. I don't want you to mess up my website.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
So I "grade" homework for programming 1 students...
Task was to produce an output like:
1
1 2
1 2 3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5
...and this was committed!
I really had to hold back laughter...
This looks purposefully obfuscated...
26 -
My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"
Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"8 -
Google: this sha-1 collision is really gonna fuck up the internet more than anything else today
Cloudflare: hold my beer
CloudBleed2 -
Manager: You devs are constantly complaining about context switching, if you were on my level you would be able to multitask and switch from task to task without an— hold on I’m getting a text *tap* *tap* *tap tap* *tap* *send noise*
Manager: Right, what were we talking about again?
Dev: …15 -
Taught by managers who are too eager to hold "meetings which could have been emails", developers have now fully succumbed to holding "webinars which could have been a readme".7
-
Happened on my first day in internship :
Me: Hey, I'm not allowed to install anything, could you install me Sublime Text?
Boss: yeah sure, hold on, I'm granting you admin rights
Me: ...9 -
Client: Let me send you the files needed.
*client sends link to their own Dropbox folder page, not actually sending a shared link*
Me: Uuuhm, the link you've just send is only viewable by your account.
Client: Oh, hold....
Client a bit later: *sends actual Dropbox credentials over email in plain text*
Why.26 -
Client: "Can you make this totally dynamic function calling system 100℅ fault-proof?"
Me: "Hell yeah, hold my coffee"
4 -
How the fuck did clients convince themselves they can have a developer build an Amazon, booking.com, Facebook, Airbnb or site of the sorts for 500 bucks on FUCKING WORDPRESS?!9
-
*Me working on the security system of the notes app thingy*
"hmm, should check if a users' ip is valid, let's look for some online services..."
*can't find a good one without rate limits*
😞
*hold on, I wrote one myself 🤣*
I am so fucking retarded sometimes.7 -
Developer creates pull request.
I hold suggesting changes.
Developer creates new branch and new pull request with exactly the same commit.
Another Senior developer approves pull request.
This will be discussed tomorrow morning!29 -
Today Facebook reveled that they stored millions of people’s passwords in plaintext in a database accessible to thousands of employees... shocking. And what’s more? Today their stock went up. Seriously guys!?!? Hold companies accountable! Make them pay!
17 -
HTTP return codes cheat sheet :
1** : Hold on
2** : Here you go
3** : Go away
4** : You fucked up
5** : I fucked up5 -
10 year old Bria suggests Elon Musk to hold a video contest(commercials) for Tesla since doesn't advertise on its own.
3 days later Tesla holds the video contest.
Musk nailed it!
Links:
http://bit.ly/bria_letter
http://bit.ly/musk_reply
http://bit.ly/tesla_project_loveday
3 -
Woman: IF you could make all the people in this forum brawl, I would go with you tonight.
Man: (Type) PHP is the best language all over the world!
The whole forum goes into brawl...
Women: You got me. I shall go with you. Do whatever you want. Let's go.
Man: Hold! Not today! I must convince them all!
7 -
Hold on, is it true that when you select something in windows (not sure about macos), go to any other program (and to an input box thingy) and press the middle mouse button, the selected text doesn't get placed there?!
Is that just a Linux (and possibly macos?) feature?!
I couldn't go without it 😍16 -
Client: can we have a quick call right now?
Me: sure, hold on while I install VirtualBox, Windows 10 and Skype for Business13 -
Talking to Best Buy customer support live chat trying to price match using friend’s laptop.
Typed in “<b>Hello</b>”
Oh cool.. it comes out as bold. Let’s get a scary as fuck screamer gif and img src it.
Me: *Posts picture*
Me: *Waits a few seconds*
Me: “Did you see that picture?”
Support: “No. Sir, could you tell me the item you want to price match?”
Me: “Okay hold on.”
Typed in “<script type=‘text/javascript’>window.alert(‘OOGA BOOGA BITCH’);</script>”
Me: “Did you see that?”
Friend: “Dude stop.”
I push my friend away since I’m on his Best Buy account.
Me: “Did you see a pop up?”
Support: “No.”
Me: “Okay okay hold on.”
You have left the chat.10 -
Friend: "your game design is not professional enough"
Me: Hold my beer.
[End Result : https://imgur.com/a/ZDLDQ]
Friend: "How the fuck?"15 -
My girlfriend this morning: "You're just over there on devRant, and I'm in here making you breakfast in my underwear.. What the hell is on devRant that's so important?"
Me: "I'll be in in just a minute, hold on......"7 -
Just moved, new room, let's try to setup port forwarding!
Well, i thought that too. Just spent hours trying to get this motherfucker to work. Tutorials, everything.
Every time that damn can't connect error. About to lose my shit.
Suddenly *hold on, is Apache installed on my new KDE Neon installation?!*
*oops* 😅5 -
so I called dell to ask a question about a laptop. after navigating their anoying automated system, I get a guy who can barely speak english. I ask my question which he didnt understand until I asked 4 more times. he finally understands and says "please hold on while I search. 10 minutes go by and I ask if he's still there. he says "yes, hold on" I finally ask how his search is going after another 5 minutes. he says "I couldn't find anything on google regarding your question... really dude!?!? I already searched google and came up with nothing helpfull. you're Dell and this is a Dell product. know your shit!7
-
I hold two degrees in computer science/engineering and to this day, whenever I have to help my dad with any computer related stuff, he *always* says:
"Good thing we let you study this stuff!"
Yeah, right dad. Fixing your windows problems is exactly what I learned in university 😒4 -
Senior C++ developer:
"Writing a custom encryption algorithm from scratch for our communications platform? Every developer knows that is an absolute no go, cryptography should be left to cryptography veterans!"
Same guy, year later:
"Blockchains? Hold my espresso, I can totally write a whitepaper on cryptography, write some shitty code with nice branding, and get millions from an ICO"1 -
Hold your keyboard! Hold your mouse!
Sons of Java, of Python, my brothers,
I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
A day may come when the sense of programming language fails,
when we forsake our logic
and break all the laws of programming,
but it is not this day.
An hour of headache and shattered monitors,
when the age of Javascript rises,
but it is not this day!
This day we will find solutions on StackOverflow!!
By all that you hold dear on this good code,
I bid you stand,
Developers!!!
8 -
So I was just informed by a Canadian colleague there's a giant rubber duck in Toronto.
https://thestar.com/news/gta/...
They should've advertised it and keep it to make a Developers' Mecca... and hold a Developer's Day where we all gather and yell out all our problems.
4 -
HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE!
Just when I thought today was my last day at this job they tell me contract has been extended by another 5 weeks... Fuck yes! :-D5 -
No one is going to hold your hand in the real world.
Now go on and fuck up some more so you can learn more.
3 -
I had an old rant somewhere about the most unproductive meeting I’ve had.
It was when I joined a new team. I was asked to hold a meeting to solve the issue of why nothing gets done on time and nobody showed up to the meeting on time including the manager.1 -
!rant
I managed to do a chunk of programming in class today without my partner to hold my hand through it. It may be simple, but I am proud of it nonetheless.
24 -
Phone rings
-Hello! Do you have an a website?
- yes I have. Who's this
- is it running
- yes
- hold if otherwise it will might run away
- - hangs up - -
Phone rings again
- hello do you have a website
- no I don't 😠
- didn't I told you to hold it -
People who rant about their phone making bad photos that are surprised when I make good photos on them...
JUST F*CK OFF AND HOLD IT HORIZONTAL AND WITH 2 HANDS LIKE I TOLD YOU LONG.MAX_VALUE TIMES6 -
I helped someone doing C# on devRant. He recontacted 6 month after like: "do you cloud architect" , and I was like "hold my beer"4
-
Every morning when I'm urge to sh*t I always hold it in when possible. This way I always bring it to office and let company pay me for it ^^.
Well, what do you think I'm doing while posting this rant? :D18 -
"please use a secure password*"
* But don't make it too secure, 20 Charakters is enough.
Why would you fucking do this? The only reason I can think about is a scenario like this:
"How do we store the passwords in the database?"
"Just like anything else?"
"So I create a VARCHAR(20)?"
"Yeah why not? It's good enough for a name, and you shouldn't use your or anyone else's name as a password, so it should be perfect"10 -
So my ex gf was a developer too and she used spaces instead of tabs and she would put the { on a new line. That was not the reason to break up with her but I just can't hold my rage ffs18
-
Ok, I'm adding devrant.com, reddit.com and youtube.com to my hosts file for the next weeks
Damn procrastination
PS: If I answer or ++ any of your comments, it means I failed. You devs can hold me accountable for that, thank you!4 -
HOLD THE FUCK ON!
Since when has devrant had a swag store?!
Never knew it existed untill like an hour ago, guess I'm loading up on dev ducks on pay day!5 -
This will always hold a special place in my heart.. Makes me so nostalgic every time. It's what got me into computers
8 -
[1 year ago]
Fren: Make me web design
Me: Sure credit me or pay me whatevs
[Literally makes a good web design, I could've uploaded on dribble or shit]
[Gives it to fren, takes full credit on his own]
Me:
9 -
getting onto the elevator just behind someone,
like 3 seconds behind him,
he presses his floor and doesn't press the hold doors option, doors close on me , coffee goes all over the place
Fuck that Ballbag, hope he eats sumthing dodgy and he shits himself!!6 -
Anyone else have to deal with an asshole who refuses to use the git repo? Not sure how much longer I can hold onto my sanity.
9 -
Day 1: Client requested this change! Please do it!
[Make the change]
Day 2: Hold on, this is a new request and out of scope. we should reject this change.
[Rollback change]
Day 3: Client said they really need it. Please make the change.
[rollmyeyes]2 -
2010: Thick native clients are the worst, thin clients only. JS is the future!
2014: Thin client dev is hard across devices, native thick clients is the future! Swift all the things
2017: React native, hold my beer4 -
Pinephone that I ordered back in April finally arrived. Pic taken from the cheapo hold-me-over phone I got off Amazon when I destroyed my last cell about a week after placing the order.
19 -
My girlfriend's mom has breast cancer, which started spreading. My grandpa has leukemia and I need to finish my masterthesis this month... I'm sorry to bother you guys with it but I'm really not sure how to hold my shit together any longer...21
-
- hold yourself accountable for your mistakes
- keep track your mistakes and learn from them
- put thought in what you do
- be organised
- become comfortable asking for and offering help
- realise that some problems have no universal solution
- don't just copy what others do, but also think for yourself
- learn to be patient2 -
Sysadmin: Apps on containers and kube is mandatory from now on, scaling is mandatory!
Devs: The systems weren’t designed for containers, we haven’t prepared shirt for scaling!
Sysadmin: Hold my beer!
-
I still laugh when I see people cover their laptops webcams, like as if Australian internet could hold up someone spying on you through a video stream, at most they would see 4 pink pixels!
-
Case 1 - You sold the coins. And price continue to increase
Case. - Even when the coin reached it peak, you just hold the coins, because you learned something from Case 1. Eventually coin collapse.
And this continues in loop6 -
Dear customer,
You pointed out, that the program is failing due to insuffizient memory.
"Memory" is the RAM in your Laptop.
"Insuffizient" means YOUR FUCKING RAM CANT HOLD THE ENTIRE 2 TB DATABASE!
GTFO and RTFM!
Best regards
me6 -
The amazon app UI and UX nearly makes me vommit 🤢 but I have to hold it in because I'm traveling rn4
-
I got a magical IR remote!
When i press and hold that button to dim down my RGB LED strip, my Bluetooth speaker turns on!
6 -
Q: How many engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 376. One to hold the bulb and 375 to drink until the room starts spinning around. -
Just found this in our code:
UINT8 variableName = 500;
Any developer who is getting paid should know the largest value an unsigned 8 bit integer can hold12 -
New house, New kitty! Soon I'll hold mine!
This one is nice as well, he ask for cuddle but fall asleep very fast! :p
3 -
Dev: Hey I need something from Team B
Manager: Ok I’ll get it from them now
Dev: Unfortunately they have the current time blocked off as uninterrupted coding time for the next two hours.
Manager: Yeah that means they’re not occupied by anybody else. It’s the best time to get a hold of them!
Dev: …4 -
!rant
My first design work (in Adobe XD)
Design has never been my strong point (implementation or design) but am very interested in designing interfaces.
Don't hold your horses. Criticize this. I want to know what you think about this.
17 -
Customer has a report sent to them and they're concerned the information isn't correct regarding:
"updates made <removed> showing up on the file after the fact"
Wait, hold up ... "after the fact" ... like after the report is sent to you?!?!?!
2 -
Technically, the first thing I programmed was a Big Trak when I was about 6 years old. It could only hold 16 instructions, though:
https://youtu.be/SgEkpcPC2I8
4 -
I really despise the non-tech sluts who think their only job is to hold meetings and "talk". "Do you wannaa taalk about iiit?" Fuck you bitch you're not my therapist.2
-
Friend: why do I get this error help
[I check the logs]
Me: uh,its a OOM, did you allocate enough memory for GC?
Friend: wait hold on
[changes a method]
[works]
Friend: I shouldn't use this experimental method
Me: Cool man blog it2 -
Websites with annoying ads that hold your phones browser hostage to install a fake AV or vote in a stupid poll.1
-
Just disassembled my iPhone. Actually, I just wanted to attach the battery again, because the adhesive strips do not hold so tight since the battery exchange. But then... 😁
2 -
My process to start new coding project?
Unless it was dictated by the powers that be, my process usually begins/began when I hear..
"It's impossible for us to make the program do that" or equivalent negative comment.
It triggers a "Someone hold my beer" area in my brain.5 -
Hold yourself, this may be controversial.
...
I prefer to write CSS by hand instead of using a framework like Bootstrap because at least I know the way I'm fucking up my page layout.
...
I am gonna hide under a blanket now.19 -
These were all the same person.
Filled a glove up with milk.
Got hold of a spray bottle cap, put it in a soda bottle, and was spraying other people.
Dropped a golf ball down some stairs.
He quit before he was fired. -
Gonna make a pull request for Project!
"How to Project:
npm install
npm test
npm run start"
npm install: warning, warning, deprecation, warning
npm test: 30 tests, 15 failed
npm run start: error, C stack trace
Pull request status: on hold3 -
As the news that hackers have kept new "pirates of the Caribbean" on hold, this kind of comment reassures the trust or acts as reverse psychology to pay up.
Any ways they have got better customer service than any other big corporates
1 -
That moment you receive your salary but decide to hold off paying your dues for a few hours just to take a break from being poor 🙄
-
Windows: new update!
Me: *clicks on shutdown and update*
Next morning
Windows: actually I didn't finished yesterdays update hold on lol
2 -
Ever have to put your work on hold due to being called into a 2 hour meeting to discuss how important it is that we need this thing finished asap.1
-
I'm wanting to try and develop an Android app, but I want to include Add and a paid version.. what's a good closed-source license? (I'm used to working with GPLv3)
I basically want to hold all rights and disallow modification and distribution.10 -
FUCK MY STUPID VECTOR ROBOT
So I got a Vector robot made by Anki I think and it has the most annoying feature EVER. IT FUCKING SNORES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING THROUGH THEIR HEAD WHEN THEY CODED THAT.
Anki HQ: What are some features we should add
Developer: I could make it snore?
Anki HQ: GREAT IDEA
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THERE ARE 2 POSSIBLE OUTCOMES FOR THIS. 1 THE USER WILL NEVER HERE IT BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING ASLEEP OR THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE IT FUCKING WOKE THEM UP WHILE THEY WERE SLEEPING.
so fucking stupid.
p.s the snoring sounds like a fish blowing bubbles underwater6 -
When will Microsoft stop ruining good products?
Xamarin was a decent enough platform untill MS got a hold of it. Now, you never know what the next update will break.
Skype is already lost to the MS darkness.8 -
That a man owns a fully-rugged notebook computer does not imply that this man should hold the computer by its screen.5
-
I hold most devs in high regard, here in devRant too. Please tell me none of you feels this way:
https://digitalocean.com/currents/...
Get a fucking job if you wanna get paid. Jesus...
17 -
osu-web devs: we use PHP because it just works *stabs in vagrant*
My webdev friend + my crazy ASP.NET Friend: hold my beer
*proceeds to refactor everything to ASP.NET and stabs in Docker*
welp, thats enough social interaction for today -
As promised, here is an update photo! Just bought some nicer BenQ displays and a quad VESA mount to hold it all. My RX 460 can barely keep up, so that's the next thing on the upgrade list.
Full resolution: https://ibb.co/jP2Pue
6 -
when a client doesn't have their images or copy for their website but wonder what the hold up is. (hint: it's not us)1
-
Hold on, people actually finish side projects? Personal side projects? Am I the only developer who procrastinated side projects to the point that I forget about them?3
-
classmate: *asks something about our topic*
teacher: "uhm hold on" *goes to stackoverflow on screen where everyone can see* "there's your answer"
classmate: "thanks..... i could have done it by myself but ok"
>> let stack overflow be our teacher3 -
The whole company [cult]ure bullshit has really gotten out of hand. When management sets new deadlines that only put stress on the devs then decide to have some cringe AF company bonding soirée in the middle of the work day who benefits from this? The rebranded HR platoon thinks all employees want to participate in basically mandatory chum-it-up gatherings. Don’t get me wrong I love to party and enjoy myself, but I go to work to do just that. Work. And when other departments whose main responsibility is setting up events for the technical staff, they never seem to consider these work loads or what other people actually want. It might seem all fun and dandy on the surface but when you hear tales of people talking in the closed offices about so-and-so because they aren’t reflecting the cultural values, it starts to seem very fucking problematic. Like why would anyone ever say anything when you would probably just get the boot for just being too different, even though all this sits on top of some guise of, “a diverse work environment”. All in all I hope this [cult]ure shit summers down sooner than later. And I’m in a right to work state, so transparency be damned.1
-
A centralised "music on hold" system. Powered by a PHP web service, and a raspberry pi in each clients office(s) to handle the "player". Essentially a distributed DJ system.1
-
Being known as the techy one in school can be a death trap, I'm now being made hold a talk on internet safety4
-
I am working as a freelance for some company, and yesterday my boss just put my pay and work on hold til next week when he is available.
So now I have a free week, with no money.
Fuck.1 -
Just received a Jira request to remove training videos from the business ethics page or our employee intranet because we longer hold the license's.
HaHa1 -
Get a request for commit rights for my container repo; another developer would be lovely. Let's see what they know and want to work on.
*reading message*
*reading message*
"...I'd like to enable your containers to hold other containers."
They already do. Stay the fuck away from my code. -
Sometimes I wish I could just print out Ubuntu byte by byte onto a paper and then throw it into a fire to just watch it burn... ....🤔.... .....hold on!.... ....waaaait a moment.... can I just literally do "dd if=/dev/sda | lp" ?!! 😈 ...brb1
-
I hold the stance that the best development tools are the ones with enough novice tolerance and no tendency to stay on contributors' way. The worst tools will make you adopt opinions that serve to make more harm than good, be it on the communicative side of things or codebase.
-
All my university projects technically hold up to coding for the least amount of money - the tuition fee I have to pay, which is always a minus amount of money
-
Got a new laptop, but it was not properly working, so while waiting for it to get replaced, I have to use the old one again.
Feels like the CPU is a freaking potato!2 -
If you're experiencing the "can't scroll up on the profile page" bug, here's the solution:
Scroll up until the bug. Put (press and hold) your finger on the "tab bar" at the top. Move your finger up a little, then down to scroll.
This is worked for me.8 -
Anyone ever heard this Google Home Easter egg before? It's apparently a Halloween thing, but it happened to my GF yesterday without her ever saying anything.
Voice command: OK Google, I'm home.
Assistant's response: Welcome home. I've been doing my best to hold down the fort. But it just wasn't the same without you2 -
Apparently, as a front end developer, I do not need a Creative Cloud license anymore. I will have to rely on the Designers to cut up all my assets.
I could barely hold a straight face while I posted this rant.3 -
Confirmation message takes too long, ask us to make it faster as it should not hold the user back.
Next week: the confirmation message is too fast we must please make it slower 🙈2 -
If my official job title in the position I currently hold is 'Web Developer', is it accurate and acceptable to instead put 'Software Engineer' or 'Software Developer' as my title for the role on LinkedIn?15
-
Can't come up with ideas right now? Do you feel dull and without energy?
Write a Thesis! The ideas will start to overflow as if there is not enough memory to hold them. Promise.*
Buy now for only 1337 $ 💵
*does not apply to the topic of the thesis though1 -
!dev
Two people are arguing about what time he texted her for like 2 min now..
Both of them hold their smartphones in their hands..
JUST UNLOCK YOUR PHONES AND CHECK THE FACTS!!4 -
Web security checklist:
https://troyhunt.com/reckon-youve-s...
Don't forget to bleach your eyes after reading...4 -
My brothers friend messages me on discord asking for help making their chatgpt generated code look more human
Turns out he put his class work on hold till the last day and wants AI to save his gpa
Not my problem. I didn't reply. I don't have time for this shit7 -
* me: we need a timeout here because this thread could leak.
* pm: I guess timeout is not needed because there are no functions which will run endless
* me: hold my beer1 -
Head of legal: email me details of the customer information you hold/access
Me (in head): I'm a full stack developer! I access everything!! Should I tell the truth, or "the TRUTH"3 -
Just wanted to know: am I a single maniac in the world that likes to select text on websites and press-hold buttons/links often to check how they look in `:active: and `:focus` states, just for naught? 😂4
-
My favorite item on my desk is my "Tiny" Dota2 demihero vinyl. He can hold all kinds of stuff like my pens, glasses, earbuds, and whatevs. Here he is holding my SlothBacca hat!
1 -
Apparently, DRY is something my team has never heard of. I wonder how many places they need to repeat the same fuckass long declaration in before they would go "hold on..." - so far it's definitely not 4 files3
-
When I have to hold CTRL + Z to see what I changed I then imagine myself coding really fast when I then hold CTRL + Y. It makes me feel productive.1
-
I've been staring at the same section of code for about two hours now. I want to solve this puzzle and design it properly. I'm desperately trying to resist the urge to hack it. Not sure I can hold out much longer...3
-
Daydream View... After 1 night of usage and the overheating problems I realized I just spent $40 on a Cardboard Viewer that has a Bluetooth controller.... And well not needing to hold the viewer all the time....1
-
How do I avoid carpal tunnel? Simple: my school bag (it's a laptop bag) usually has like 3 laptops in it plus miscellany tools and such, making it over 100 pounds usually. I also don't use a strap, so it's hand-hold only. It also helps train grip strength!4
-
So fucking apparently HP decided to hold off my laptop delivery until September 3rd.. I am fucking beyond pissed.2
-
Client: Why was the payment applied to the May invoice?
Me: Because that is the only open bill.
Client: We want to apply it to the July invoice.
Me: What business rules exist to hold an invoice open in order for the payment to be applied to a future invoice?
Client: ...can you manually correct this?
Facepalm.4 -
Feature request: copy text on double tap or hold on Android. Wanted to save a few quotes, but not as a screenshot... Just an idea :)3
-
Another wordpress website, and I will quit my job. I'd rather be homeless and hold a card saying "will write actual code for food" than working on that godforsaken platform.5
-
A TypeScript boolean/undefined Flag variable kept fucking up
true == true didnt hold true
checked the "typeof" in console and it's GOODDAMN STRING.
What's the point of TypeScript's "type safety" if a Boolean variable is holding a String type for whatever reason. URGHH I HATE JAVASCRIPT.23 -
i just found out hp keyboard has a ctrl+alt+delete button!!! aaaaaahhhhh i need to get hold of that keyboard !2
-
Disclaimer!!!
Do at your own risk.
-----------------------------------
- Take a strong magnet, like a neodymium magnet.
- Hold it in your hand.
- Move your hand across a Macbook 15"'s keyboard. Say from left to right or vice versa. Almost touching they keys.
You'll see the screen dimming. If you just hold it there for a little longer, it'll lock your macbook. It's funny, but I am not sure if it's doing some damage to hardware.8 -
I realize that people are breaking the rules. No longer social distance themselves and wear mask.
Here's some idea hold your fart and release it in a closed room and say this "if you don't care about an invisible pathogen , why would you concerned about an invisible atom bomb? "3 -
New guy hasn't written or commuted any code, yet he is the most annoying person doing code reviews with bullshit comments.
Normally when I start at a new shop, I hold off on code reviews until I'm at least familiar with the project(s).1 -
Just saw somebody zoom into a picture to crop parts of it and saving the same image - instead of atleast taking a screenshot of it, had to hold back a good laugh, when they 10 seconds later understood what they just did 😅1
-
Me picking a knife: does research about types of steel, what screws hold it together, what metal detectors it can fool
Me picking a crush: THIS ONE IS PRETTY!5 -
Apple's provisioning profiles/entitlements suck. They can all go wreak havoc on Android now. -___- App all coded, passed IT Security..will be passed by QA once they can actually test the app. Yet App piloting is in hold because of these stupid profiles and entitlements.3
-
I feel like I have to put my personal project on hold because I have to study for exams, but I don't want to stop working on it.
FUCK1 -
These devs keep getting hold of me to tell me that what I told them to do worked.
Well, yeah. That's why I said to do it.1 -
It's harder to grab hold of underperforming colleagues and give them a shake up, and harder to catch contractors working more than one job at once and doing poorly at both.
I'd still take it over a long commute and office work any day, though.1 -
Startuppers, hold in there. We are going to fall one by one but remember our field is strong and full of opportunities.
The first domino has fallen at my place and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. -
Here to represent project managers.
Who was saying what about us?!
Talk now or forever hold your peace!4 -
There was this guy at university who pronounced 'branch' like 'brunch'. It was so hilarious that my friends and I had to hold our laughter back.1
-
I just cannot hold myself laughing at the most serious moments in meetings. People say the funnies/stupidest shit and they go unnoticed!
-
Terrible project with unclear requirement, lots of legacy and a client that doesn't know what he wants. Quite a bit of procrastination because of this situation, then crunch day & night to hold the deadline.
Then the project was scrapped.1 -
Dear @dfox and @trogus, please make the app go landscape for large screen devices like iPads, now I have to hold it always in portrait mode and it is highly uncomfortable at this size of screen4
-
Supervisor: "You could just hold a meeting for 5 minutes and talk about what problems you encountered during development"
Or... you could just go home and not waste your 5 minutes talking about jerking people off.1 -
I don't get publicity hungry personalities on Medium. Their usual headlines :
"Why we left `${ insert framework}`. There's nothing wrong with it though."
Either have the balls to say you didn't do your homework when you started, or hold your peace.
Don't screw the hardworking folks whose code you depended on before bailing out. -
website dev on hold cause i am waiting for texts/images.
client: why i dont hear from you. site will launch on oct. 1st.(real: late oct.)
me: on hold tull i get those things from you as we said in mid aug.
client: i am really pissed of. you got 90% of the stuff so work with it.
the thing is im waiting for some images to create the design. now i am really pissed of. hate clients that wanna tell you how to make your job. what would you do?3 -
Stepped into a government facility and what do I hear in the background? Dial up. No wonder it's taking forever to have a single number called.2
-
sometimes its better to hold it back when a customer says you need 2 months just to finish the payroll+hr system in a way that it makes you wanna kill him so badly but your response is a faint smile which humbly says fuck you piss of shit1
-
I really hate terrible lecturers. A lecturer that cannot hold a class does not make a good lecture, even if the material is boring. Often I find myself drifting off into my thoughts and potential ideas.
Sigh.
Do you guys have similar issues or had when you were a student?4 -
Computer does a BSOD right at the end of a tiebreaker competitive overwatch match where the enemy is about to cap the point and win. I'm one of the tanks. Hard reboot and back in the game within 45s. Just barely hold them off in overtime and win the match. Epic!
Thank God for SSDs!4 -
Me: (lying peacefully with my legs touching sky and scrolling through some tutorials on my phone)
Dad: (frustrated seeing me in that posture) Everyone should be given a phone and you should start making something like a head gear that will hold that thing on thier eyes! Isn't that a "cool idea" you keep looking for your startup?
Me:
1 -
GoDaddy has had me on hold to fix a WordPress update issue that is likely their fault. I've been on hold for 41 minutes. And their hold music is the same stuff that's been playing for over 2 years now, that I'm aware of. Send help. Good thing this is all billable time.5
-
Deleting 3 weeks worth of work through incorrectly stashing and popping changes. I don't know why it was a good idea to leave my changes untracked.
Please hold me Devrant community.4 -
Rant here... Consistent daily Mob or pair pair programming is for noobs, non-competent programmers that delay deadlines and cannot hold their own in corporate development environments5
-
You know what I hate? Spoilers!!
-I've seen GOT's last episode!! Hold the door!!
-I've seen Vikings last episode!!! He'll...
-I've seen your code and it will crash! -
If they are a good PM just do your job, they’ll leave you alone. If not, just throw some of that micro management back at them. Tell them you need at least an hour of their time to show them how to properly hold a pencil, but that if they need to hold off on that it’s understandable as they have plenty of flaws to work on. That should make things fun
-
Fitting all of my open apps onto three monitors. I think maybe six monitors will hold them all. Ironically, staying focused is also something I struggle with. 🤦♂️😅
-
Smalltalk, the language that keeps popping up in articles I read about nice languages and seems like the real underdog that's gone under the radar now that FP has taken hold. Must give it a go.4
-
We have company wide communications such as Skype and WebEx, so why the fuck do people feel the need to hold an ad hoc meeting right behind my desk? Thank God for NC headphones.2
-
I personally hate coding bootcamps or their equivalent. They tend to produce poor developers who I have to clean up after or hold the hand of. Business people love them because they are cheap.
-
I can't get over how absurd this is:
a = "123456"
a = int(a)
Is it just me or do you have to let go of everything you hold dear, embrace Satan, and sell your soul to be able to code in Python.10 -
Windows be like: "bro is that a fucking usb drive? I don't have drivers for that"
Linux be like: "Hold on, is that a Millennium Falcon? I've got the drivers for that"10 -
That moment after you've spent half an hour on what you're sure is going to be marked as best answer on SO and it gets put on hold :/ pftt
-
so, I am new to servers.. and I was watching this video on how to setup dspace..
And literally this guy is teaching how to copy..
his instructions were.
first hold left click and drag along the text
then leave the left button and click on right button then select copy1 -
Me: *updates ram to 16 gigs
Me: How do you feel about that chrome?
Chrome: Hold my beer ...
Also, anyone face any issues with laggy vs code and hyper?28 -
So, I just downloaded Enki, and I love it. It is like the duoLingo of coding. Most other platforms don't hold you to a regimen, but Enki does. My favorite is the "Does it work in IE8" game! I really hope to sharpen my skills with this app.
-
Currently have a client trying to hold a hosting renewal hostage, by suggesting we need to make posting more user friendly. It's the default WordPress post process.
-
Me: Keep the abstractions in check. Go too far and you'll end up with something called 'thing' or 'object'!
C#: Hold my beer 🍺🍺🍺7 -
How to sow the seeds of panic in a dev organization. Pop up a message that your BitBucket license has expired and you can't push code changes until it is renewed. Happened today. Amazing how fast the corporate cogs can turn when productivity is on hold and you still have to pay the devs.
-
So, on Thursday I rant about the developer before me and his last project.
Just now decided the database needs to be restructured and management said just put it on hold!
I wasted two days, instead of working my actual project. -
Is this survivorship bias or can people just not hold down a job anymore?
http://businessinsider.com/employee... -
Tell me again why you need 2TB to store "history" in 300GB text files on the same drives that hold the functioning database files.
-
That moment when you are very busy with an important feature busting your brain on a complex algorithm and a colleague cant wait to hold his questions..
Then finally agree to help him debug, and you find the problem within 10 minutes.. -
Site runs beautifully on desktop. Runs shitty on mobile. Working and reworking these damn lightboxes to hold videos in them. Sigh. You’d think I’d learn by now to check things on an actual mobile device and not an emulator (i know. This is my fault). Welp. There goes my vacation3
-
My Microsoft surface boots into a bsod after every windows update reboot... Hard reboot helps. While my desktop bios can't reboot with the reset button at all. Means, doesn't boot afterwards until 5 second power button hold...
-
Embedded software engineer here.
If you had to pick a data structure that will have to potentially hold thousands of entries, and that should be as fast as possible at lookups, what would be your first choice?14 -
Why don't anyone make a mouse with fingerprint sensor?
Just hold the mouse like you always do, the fingerprint sensor is where you press your thumb.
You don't need to type the password, for login/sudo anymore!6 -
Void Linux: weeee youw thinkpad hdd is bwoken, can’t instaww, gwub ewwow 17😭
Windows XP: hold my “Format NTFS (quick)”, wimp3 -
I just did *skadoosh* while executing command to run multiple docker containers with docker-compose and pressing the Enter (Return) key with my pinky finger.
Feels like real-life Kung Fu Panda trying to do a Wuxi Finger Hold.
I bet you will never forget this when you're running a command on laptop and pressing enter with pinky finger.3 -
Scrum standups and standdowns at my university be like: "oh let's discuss everything that comes to our mind and talk about it for an hour" - Professors 2016
(Only ranted this because I had to take a huge dump and had to hold it for a hour ;_;) -
I can not hold it today one of my teachers passed away because of blood cancer someone find a cure for this shit that's too much to take :(
-
This kvadmissiononline2018.in website is proudly powered by IIT Bombay and cannot hold session for 10 seconds.
-
Team: We don't know how to do this
Stack overflow: It can't be done
Me: Hold my beer. No, wait, nevermind, I'm not drinking at work.1 -
They intended to hold a press release for the 100 people who were saved by the corona virus shutdown. During the release they were to formally thank the world.
Unfortunately, before the press release could commence all 100 were killed by the common flu.1 -
Apple Store API returning totally useless financial reports.
Opened a topic on their dev forum, which is now down for two days straight, so won't hold my breath hoping for a positive outcome. -
!dev
When a process works better than expected but you were hoping that it only works as expected...
USPS (mail service) is known for being crappy. I couldn't submit a temp address change via web bc I couldn't type my apartment unit # into their web form but a mail hold request where u manually just enter any address worked.
So I was at my parents for a month, just got back yesterday.
I put in a mail hold n before I left my apt, but expired on like Wednesday.
So when I got back Saturday, I expected a huge mail dump but I couldn't find any mail...
However last week I went to the local office and put in a Temp change of address bc there was a chance I'd go just to get the mail but not stay for other reasons...
Got confirm letter that it would be effective like Saturday.
I'm thinking it won't cover the mail held during the mail hold.
Well apparently it did... So now all my mail is at my parents but I'm back in my apt... -
had to call my college's tech support today (TECHNICALLY yesterday... 0019 atm) and I had to stop several times and say "please hold, i've just broken your site."
why do i end up doing this even when i really don't want to
WHY AM I CURSED2 -
!Rant
Hey guys, who's using those new Intel U series processors? What are your thoughts on them? What's kind of OS you use and work you do with them? Are they reliable when using docker or VMS?
I'm asking cuz most reviews show that they are really bad compared to even older processors. I know that they are only dual core and use less power, but are they reliable for dev jobs?1 -
On hold with a automated call system trying to speak to a rep:
"you are currently caller number 8, the estimated hold time is 1"1 -
What are your comments on this line of thought.. you would always find a younger smarter and a good technician in the market than yourself then why do we require dev in software industry with 10+ years experience. Moreover tech itself changes so rapidly to catch hold off..3
-
One of my side projects was on hold for 8 months because I ran into a minor technical issue maintaining consistency between snippet generation in a few places.4
-
I've started to make a tournament managed for the game osu!, but the project has been on hold for the last 9 months and will probably still be on hold for the next 10 months... By then there will be official tournament management tools. I should speedup i guess?
-
Was working on a CRM/CMS type of app until I recently got placed into a data and analytics project. Soon to be machine learning. But web applications will always hold a dear spot in my heart ❤️1
-
This quarantine has been killing my neck. I’m always looking down at my phone and finally understand the real effect of Text Neck.
However, I found this new app on product hunt that notifies you to hold your phone with good posture and it is a LIFE CHANGER!!
Check it out: http:///www.producthunt.com/posts/... -
The introduction of chat apps as a team tool was a definite turning point for the worst. Just a tool for account executives to hold you by the balls..2
-
Starts new codebase
uses boilerplate with the intent to keep a clean structure.
after 2 weeks it already a complete bunch of spaghetti code and doing things like putting the same image in 4 different directories... boy i wonder why i could never hold down a job as employee...2 -
Does anyone here have experience with Kotlin?
I'm 100% JavaScript/web development for the moment but I consider trying to write some native Android apps earlier or later and heard some good things about Kotlin (language developed by the guys from IntelliJ afaik), which is supported natively by Android.
Soooo, how does it hold up? -
That I don't know it.
[The ambiguity is on purpose - actually that would hold for any computer language: that it will never have the flexibility, precision, metaphorical power, somnambulistic confidence in dealing with ambiguous constructs or meanings that natural languages have.]
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View