age++ this is how I get a happy birthday wish

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

I named my hard drive "dat ass," so once a month my computer asks if I want to "back dat ass up".

My job is so f**king unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

How my .bash_profile looks like after spending some time on devrant

History is never made by those who use incognito browsers :D

devRant has had a huge impact on my life. My poops are significantly longer and now my legs fall asleep because of it.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

Recipe for Ice Coffee:
1: Make Coffee
2: Start coding
3: Forget you made Coffee
4: Drink it cold

Happens way too often

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

Rest in Peace, Muhammad Ali.

Someone is pretty active on github :D

When you find a problem you're trying to solve on stack overflow and it has no answers

A long developement day start when you forget your headphones at home.

I have completely given up explaining to my friends and family what I do for a living.