**Looking for a job**
Sees a posting saying 20+ years Linux experience....The hell, why don't you just get Linus to do that job...

@localhost My setup! The laptop is on private WiFi that is unmonitored. There's a desktop tower behind the monitors that is wired into the unmonitored network as a server running Linux. it's decent but could be better. and I need more stickers

When a client goes "I want this website but with my logo and content. How long would it take you to build this?"

Well dear client, it would technically only take me about 2-3 days, but that's not happening because that's someone else work. :)

When your rants are so shitty that sticker posts surpass them in points 😂😂

@localhost here the office edition😊😊

I wish recruitment agencies knew what they're doing so they could actually send useful job offers... C'mon, seriously? I'm a first year at University, what are the chances I can be a senior linux sys admin and manage a team?

When you first start learing development patterns on Java

Hell yeah 😂 Every developer once in a lifetime 🙄

My boss (who's in a different country) just joined our internal Skype group where most of our daily information is spread. She honestly thinks we work faster when she's asking questions about progression on stories via Skype.

Why doesn't some managers trust developers? >.<

I'm of Indian descent and I just stepped into a meeting where some American project managers couldn't understand tech support 's accent. it wasn't them though, because I couldn't understand the guy's thick Indian accent either.

when you notice everyone in the room stopped programming because your silent fart 5min ago wasnt so innocent.

More stickers for the laptop. Awesome job with the stickers devRant

I had the old "got this great product I've developed, but can't afford a website, could you do it in exchange for a percentage of profits?"
Look, it's your product, I have had no say in its development, or quality or how you market it etc. I do websites and the website will do exactly what you want it to do. I couldn't give a fuck wether you sell one or a million. It's not my risk. Pay me for a site and I'll do it.

we are saints

I became a professional C++ developer in 1993. Best year of my life

How to know if a user was born before 1990: they write their smileys with noses :-)

when you pitch an idea for an app to your SO and he initially shoots it down, because "why would anyone want that" but a few days later, changes his mind in response to his friend's Facebook post

When you tell your client not to upgrade to Wordpress 4.5 until the theme is patched for it and they do it anyways.
Complains certain functions aren't working anymore.

Yes, we know. We told you not to do the update yet

Final.zip
Final1.zip
Finalfinal.zip
final.v1.zip
Final.v2.zip

Project folder without git

When a recruiter calls you and asks what your experience level is with "C-hash"

When you found out your coworker is using a nodejs server with php code

Dev deploys new CSS.

Client: I can't see the changes PANIC.

Dev: clear your cache!

Client: oh that's better. Now can we do that for all user?

Dev:😱

how do you migrate to production so fast?

In my opinion during the past 18 hours devRant has gone from a great resource - to a must have indispensable developer community. It shows the power of Internet communication.

So many new developers arriving are making it so much more fun and valuable. I enjoyed devRant before but now it is amazing.

I am having a tough time keeping up - which is great.

Every developer should go to Silicon Valley at least once in their lifetime, it should be enough to change his/her life forever...

I once watched a Github repo for 2 hours before I decided my inbox had enough...

Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

Client wants a hit counter in their site.....is this 1998?

The moment when I email the client about their recent changes in the requirements and the reply is "I am altering the deal. Pray that I don't alter it any further"

Playing email tennis with a client trying to get to the specifics of a vague initial request. Difficult to do without being patronising and condescending. Having to read and edit my emails to make them believe that I don't think they are a useless fucking incompetent twat.