Opened a legacy PHP file from 2008.

No functions.
2,000+ lines.
Inline SQL.
HTML inside echo statements.
A single if (true) wrapping the entire thing like some cursed gift box.

At the top:
// Do not modify. Works perfectly.

At the bottom:
It writes to two databases. Only one exists.

Somewhere in the middle:
It sends an email…
to the client’s ex-wife.

I closed the file.
Rebooted my laptop.
Took a walk.
Still not okay.

In modern C#, everything's an interface.

Zig is actually sort of similar. I guess I owe it to C# for teaching me the magic.

Sorry, I mean:

IZig is IActually ISort of ISimilar. (IContinued...)

My coworker wanted to get some program from a website that requires a username/password to download. It is a utility program for controls automation. He didn't want to have to create a username/password so I said he could use mine.

I went over to his desk and read off the username to him which he entered. Then I started reading off the "password" to him:
"y o u r m o m i s a s l u t"
He got suspicious at the last few letters and then clicked on "show password" icon. He of course saw: "yourmomisaslut". At this point he just bust out laughing. I then gave him the correct password.

when I die, I want to be cremated, because I do NOT want fungi to enter my cranium and do something to my brain. It doesn't matter if it's dead or not. It once held "me", and I wholeheartedly believe that fungi can make it tick again, or extract "me" out of it to make me a part of them. Who knows what they do to people. Just imagine dying and waking up suspended in mucus while 36TET microtonal music plays.

Everything development related I see recently are related to LLMs and I’m starting to get sick of it :(

Vibe Coding is the start of the end of days

What do you think?

I am so fucking salty today.
I've had multiple tight deadlines overlapping with the crescendo one where I did 90% of the implementation including helping another company implement some stuff on their side as well as coordinating multiple parties with lots of twists and turns. We barely delivered on time. Contract is worth 10 million.

There was cake to celebrate the success last week. They didn't even bother telling me. I found out on LinkedIn. I mean I def dont get paid enough but cant even fucking have a slice of cake on the success I created?

Oh fyi I offered to buy some drinks so we could have a little celebration on my costs, just you know like have 2 beers and some snacks nothing grand. It was shut down the only way it was allowed was if I paid for the whole company to have drinks. Seriously these people be out of touch I cant pay for 300+ people ..

Initially I didn’t like mold in my apartment, but since then it grew on me.

Good lord, fail2ban is not easy to get right.

My boss insists that we shouldn’t lock or password-protect a particular system because, in her words, remembering or write down a password is hard and email as a concept is confusing. I tried to explain if people who don't know what left versus right-clicking do have full admin access, it’s only a matter of time before something goes terriblely wrong. She listened but ultimately decided to keep everything open, confident that everyone would use it responsibly.
Unfortunately, that’s not what happened, it never has been and never will be. The problems started, just as I feared, and now I’m stuck cleaning up the chaos, one issue at a time. I do have a backup and automation snapshots, but things got so tangled up that it will still be a hassle.
I tried soft lock so everyone could only access the section relevant to them. The reaction was immediate—they were confused and stressed, saying they’d be unable to do anything if it stayed that way. They didn’t get the idea that keeping them from touching certain things (that they shouldn't be touching in the first place) wasn’t the same as blocking their whole work. But since they’re all my superiors, I had no choice but to remove the restrictions and leave the system wide open again.

Nothing serious came out, just really annoying because something like this happens all the time.

Had a dream that some trans girl fell in love with me here on devRant, then sending a picture with abstract schizo graffiti with my name to me
I woke up in search of evidence. Went through my phone, didn’t find where to look to see my browser history. Then, every button in the bottom bar were replaced with small 32x32 px ad. That’s when I knew it was a dream too, a dream within dream
Woke up again. Was teleported to a huge liminal water park that is also a mall, and then I was like wait, it’s a part of kikiverse, so it must be yet another dream layer
Woke up again. Typing this. See ya

Use IDE to easily refactor extract methods

Notice it doesn't order input parameters by order it uses them

I don't want to manually update

I hate SVN

accept fungi

On the day of my birthday, both Skype and Boris Spassky, the chess grandmaster world champion, died. Our metamodernist timeline is so fucking weird

@kiki happy bday!!!!!

The spammers are going hardcore.

They upvoted their downvoted rants. They did it automated probably, because the rants were not visible on the site anymore.
I downvoted some with the anti-spam bots but they seem to be ip-blocked for downvoting or something. They don't work anymore. Maybe I need a proxy or something..

It sucks, they have such an advantage. Upvoting is easy and unlimited.

Do some charity, downvote:

https://devrant.com/rants/11436748/...
https://devrant.com/rants/11534679/...
https://devrant.com/rants/12086556/...

As blood rushes through my face, hundreds of tiny capillaries bursting under my skin create a beautiful freckles pattern that has to be seen to be believed.

This is what happens to me when I vomit. That’s a great way to get a striking look on a budget when I’m late to a party!

Saw someone complaining not enough dev rants.

I have a coworker who's a good friend. Got him this job. He has good output, smart kid, but our coding styles clash.

I believe in DevEx (since we write internal tools). He sees it as premature optimization.

Example:
He won't validate data from input we don't control because "it shouldn't change that much".

Results:
He codes fast, but delivers shit that breaks in production and others (me) have to fix.

It's frustrating.

Turned 31 three days ago.

My **dad** was convinced that I was turning 30 instead lmao.

I had to do the math for him, he was questioning the fabric of reality for a second. Like baba 2025 sub 1994 eq 31, ok.

so anyway age--;

when i shit i feel lighter

then i can train better

i have more stamina for workouts

this made me realize

im not fat

im just full of bullshit

Anyone here leading a team? What's your rule on using AI as a coding assistant? I just read this article:
https://nmn.gl/blog/ai-and-learning
new jr devs are shipping codes faster but at a cost (test cases, quality control, etc).

In my freelancing project, I encounter this, I HOPE this is a joke , but isn't a joke. Just wow

Back to the grind of self-employment trying to find work. Fuck I hate this but all the jobs I'm finding are toxic as hell. Still better than my old job.

Wife's driving me nuts
Work is driving me nuts

At least my kids are awesome!

Maybe getting a new job would help. I'd probably need two new jobs to match this one though

GenAI 2025

GUYS GUYS I AM VERY EXCITED TO ANOUNCE I'VE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH SCABBIES!!!!!

What's the mantra when there's no manual? RTFS?

Zig's standard library is largely RTFS. There's some docs, but it's a little sparse in my opinion.

Adblock is the single most important piece of softaware and when it comes to divorses

1999 New Year’s Eve must’ve been awesome

My role in teams meetings :
Admit someone in,
Stay quite the whole time,
Say thank you and bye louder when its finishing 😅😅