So i've been a dev manager for a little while now. Thought i'd take some time to disambiguate some job titles to let everyone know what they might be in for when joining / moving around a big org.

Title: Senior Software Engineer

Background:
- Technical
- Clever
- Typically has years experience building what management are trying to build

Responsibilities:
- Building new features
- Writing code
- Code review
- Offering advice to product manag......OH NO YOU DON'T CODE MONKEY, BACK TO WORK!

Title: Dev Manager

Background:
- Technical
- Former/current programmer
- knows his/her way around a codebase.

Responsibilities:
- Recruiting / interviewing new staff
- Keeping the team focused and delivering tasks
- Architecture decisions
- Lying about complexity of architecture decisions to ensure team gets the actual time they need
- Lying about feature estimations to ensure team gets to work on critical technical improvements that were cancelled / de-prioritised
- Explaining to hire-ups why we can't "Just do it quicker"
- Explaining to senior engineers why the product manager declined their meeting request

Title: Product / Product Manager

Background:
- Nothing relevant to the industry or product line what so ever
- Found the correct building on the day of the interview
- Has once opened an Excel spreadsheet and successfully saved it to a desktop

Responsibilities:
- Making every key decision about every feature available in the app
- Learning to ignore that inner voice we like to call "Common sense"
- Making sure to not accidentally take some advice from technical staff
- Raising the blood pressure of everyone below them / working with them

Title: Program Lead / Product Owner

Background:
- Capable of speech
- Aware of what a computer is (optional)

Responsibilities:
- Sitting down
- Talking
- Clicking random buttons on Jira
- Making bullet point lists

Title: Director of Software Engineering

Background:
- Allegedly attended college/university to study computer science
- Similar to a technical product manager (technical optional)

Responsibilities:
- Reports directly to VP
- Fixes problems by creating a different problem somewhere else as a distraction
- Claiming to understand and green light technical decisions, while having already agreed with product that it will never happen

Hey guys

Just want to say that I'm new here and hope we all will have a good time and can help each other.

Greetings

Haters gonna say it's photoshop

Google before asking.

juniors

"Don't underestimate the power of a semi colon.."

!rant Anyone else volunteering at #WebSummit?

How great is Google Allo? This great...

The moment you realise you have forgotten your earphones and work in an open office.

Always

Couldn't resist sharing this one

Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.

Sorry if it's a repost.

Any project that started out with "All you have to do is make a copy of the old code. That should take 2-3 hours..." and ends with a huge list of change requests that takes days to fulfill.

When your supervisor/teacher is looking at your code and you hope he/she doesn't detect the bug you found before showing the code.

Meanwhile !!

When my co-workers thinks it is fun to add this to my bashrc when i was away:

alias cd='exit'

PM keeps inviting me to meetings so I can see the process flow he created and bask in his greatness... :-/

PM asked me to develop an application to fetch data from the customer's DB, which would require an access security token provided by the customer. To get the token, I would have to travel to Germany (I live in Portugal) to get it personally (it's not possible to have someone else pick it up for me).

It turns out the security token is a completely closed environment, with its own OS, without the possibility of installing any application or communicating with the exterior. The laptop itself would boot from the token's OS.

It was concluded I would have to hack the security token, which is completely non compliant. So the PM decided not to go forward with it.

But now, I have to go Germany anyway to pick up the security tokens because they forgot to order them for these other guys who would be using them to access the customer's DB manually and they don't want to delay the project anymore.

Oh, and the security tokens cost the project 500€/month each...

That moment you're trying to access your web portal in the QA environment and you realize your colleague is loading huge amounts of data into the QA database...

No caption needed

ahh! a well deserved rest... you're all invited to join me for a beer! come to Sesimbra in portugal and enjoy this 29°C at 11:04am ;)

My son is about to be born within the next 30 minutes!! Not such a rant just some happy news!

What debugging code feels like

Two minutes of silence to all Microsoft employees who were looking to switch jobs through Linkedin. 😂😂