In case you want to ruin your coworker's day

My JavaScript professor once thought my work was "too good" and decided to pull me aside, in front of the class, to practically accuse me of cheating. I had to meet her in her office after hours and talk to pretty much prove it. Once she realized I didn't cheat she was fakey nice the rest of the semester. God forbid a girl be decent at JavaScript without "cheating". 🙄

So I just got one of those pop ups saying YOUR COMPUTER HAS BEEN HACKED.

I decided to call the number, while firing up a Linux virtual machine, running Linux Mint. I customized the home button to look like the Windows start menu logo, and proceeded to let that scammer connect to it.

He was so confused, considering the script he was reading off of was meant for windows. He opened up terminal, and started typing in "tree" and told me that's how many viruses I have.

😂😂😂

F*CKING DESIGNERS.

Stop sending me your freaking PNG. Don't even dare to FREAKIN' make me use Chrome DevTools to get your FREAKIN' color our of your FREAKIN' PNG.

Give me all your colors in FREAKIN' hex, rgba, or whatever you want.

Give me all the fonts you used.

Give me all the sizes, is it percentage-based? Pixels based? Donuts-based?

I don't give a damn that you think you went responsive-first. Show me the damn responsive mockups. Not just the desktop sized with a note: "Don't worry mate, I made so that it all goes well when responsive".

Oh god. Oh god.

I'm not an artist, I give zero shit about how great it looks.

I'm a programming poet, I want to write code without having to open (or download it first through torrent) the damn photoshop, sketch, or whatever you use.

They take freakin' months to dump a mockup and we have days to make it happen. The pain.

The pain is strong with those damn designers.

Fuck.

Me:
Totally riffing to my new playlist....
the ideas are just flowing.....
Code flying...
changing in my brain....
I think I've got I might have it.....
...... RING RING ITS THE MOTHERFUCKING BOSS,
Boss:
Why is the whole website down?

Me: WTF, looks fine here, all logs are clear.

Boss: I just got an email saying the whole thing is fucked. Stop everything and fix it now.

Me: but we just agreed dev is taking priority over any support issues within sla and I've checked from everywhere there are no issues, just data issues probably from user error.

Boss: Just get it back and figure it out!!!!! Why are you being difficult?

Me: okay whatever, let's patch each of these shits.

COULDVE SENT THIS ANYWHERE BUT NOW MY IDEA IS GOOOONEEE!!!!!! NULL FUCKING DATA FIELD ON A SINGLE FUCKING EMAIL....FRAAAAACKKK THIS

!rant

I am new to coding, and I am trying to find a platform to host my code. Should I choose GitLab.com or GitHub.com. Maybe the better question is: Will my code be as accessible on GitLab as it is on GitHub?

When there is a new upate available ...

Been cursing at the Android emulator for weeks for being slow, laggy and crap. Have been doing most of the testing in the iOS simulator instead.

Found out yesterday that Intel HAXM had been uninstalled. I installed it, and now it's buttery smooooth 😌

To all of you that is saying Friday release is horrible, you have no idea how bad Monday release is :(

How To Be A Developer
(Easy Method)

(Note: You need an Android device to be a developer)

Step 1: Go to Settings.
Step 2: Click on "About phone".
Step 3: Click on "Build number" 7 times.

Congratulations, you are now a developer!

WTF!! I want a JavaScript solution.. not jQuery!! When JavaScript mentioned in the question, why the hell people answer with jQuery solution and also same solution multiple times.

SSD vs (external) HDD.... :(

People fucking think that working for a fucking startup is a fucking cake walk. Every person making 6 figure salaries but no one fucking wants to put in an effort to work slightly harder! Show up at 10 and leave a 4 and yeah v'll get funded. And the worst fucking part is no one wants to check something as simple as fucking work emails after work! Fucking get your acts together or just walk the fuck out the door.

I know work life balance is important but don't expect that when you know the company is treading harsh waters and needs everyone to get their shit together so we get funded!

Finally program running perfectly 👍
But wait.... Lets add another feature...
New feature needs updated matplotlib...
Update matplotlib😒
Lost support with numpy😫🤔
Updated numpy 😫
Run program again...
Core dumped (segmentation fault)😶😶
Time to leave this planet

Them: "Our phones are down."

Me: "I'm sorry to hear that. Have you notified your provider?"

Them: "My provider?"

Me: "...You haven't been our VoIP client for about a year and a half now."

What do you call a snake that's approximately 3.14 feet long? - A πthon

#HappyPiDay

On being a woman in tech...

You lads probably have (and my fellow ladies certainly have) heard of "impostor syndrome" and, if you don't experience it, you possibly wonder what living with it is like.

Here's an example from this weekend.

Be me, about 5 years into my career, graduated from a top college, feeling decent but still unsure of skill.

Company gets a 4 week trial of an online learning website. It includes optional assessments, so that you know where in the video lessons to start. Rankings are novice, proficient, expert.

Hear from our QA that he got ranked "proficient." Which is a pretty broad category, but I become super afraid that I'll also be assessed as "proficient" and it will look like I have the same dev skills as a fucking QA (our management overlords can see our scores).

Boyfriend has me do some deep breathing before starting the test, because it's obvious how stressed I am.

Finally take it and get ranked "expert", in the 97th percentile, even though some technical difficulties made me miss four questions in a row. I decide to use my do over, and get ranked "expert" again, this time in the 99th percentile.

You'd think I'd be like, "Lawl, I can't believe I'd get the same score as our QA!" And there is some of that. But there's also the thoughts of, "that test could have been more thorough," "that score wasn't real because I resaw a question and got the right answer the second time," and "99th percentile isn't that great on a platform where new developers are over represented."

And this is all despite the fact that, if you were to ask someone how confident I am, the answer would probably "confident as hell."

Not saying this to start any fights. Figured it could be some interesting insight into a world that some people don't experience! (not that males aren't allowed to have impostor syndrome!)

Me: "How many MB of files do you want to send me via mail? Maybe it would be better to upload everything..."
Client: "Oh don't worry. It won't be to much. It's just five folders."

Running Android Studio and Chrome with only 4gb of RAM is hell.