Details
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AboutChief Procrastination Officer, Keeper of The Keys to My Father's Flat, proud holder of a mediocre BSc. Analytical fundamentalist Manufactured: Budapest, 2001 Calories: 70,000 May contain traces of other viewpoints
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SkillsTypescript, C#, Rust, Orchid, abstract algebra
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LocationGuildford, UK (also Budapest)
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 5/18/2018
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TIL that in iOS, when you select text with double tap, it usually selects one word, but if that word is a part of a full name, it will select the full name. For example, tapping on “react” in “react sucks” will only select “react”, but tapping on “Howard” in “Howard Lovecraft” will select the entire thing.
Now that’s attention to detail. Android will never get this kind of care, pixel or not.10 -
For the love of buggery, stop watching bloody videos on your bloody phone with the bloody volume turned up.
I was thinking about something, just starting to get in the zone, when suddenly that tinny little speaker opened up a portal into the howling chaos of the underworld.
It sounds like cats fucking in an empty grain silo.
For the next half an hour, there is no room in my head for anything apart from the diabolical echoes of that bollock-wrenchingly hideous noise.3 -
Well this is interesting:
https://slate.com/technology/2024/...
Will be interesting to see what happens here. I knew there was a jack up on prices for accessories. Never imagined it would be a lawsuit. I wonder if there is any collusion by Apple and Google to keep other phone makers out of markets? It seems like most phones are either iPhone or Android based. Maybe that part is organic.1 -
Today my cat, my oldest girlfriend, passed away. She chose to be in the sun for her passing. I'm happy she had a good life in the end with all the space she needed. She did not suffer. It was sudden and just a cardiac arrest.
May she hunt many more mice and little birds in the afterlife.16 -
i wonder if the fact it takes so long to write anything in rust means few people will write anything in rust so things will change at a snail's pace
unlike javascript4 -
Just a quick PSA:
If you are going to take (more) drugs, consider what types of drugs you already have in your system and look up any dangerous interactions. Almost called the ambulance on myself today ☺️1 -
if anyhow is so good and important why isn't it part of the std
I just can't with this
I don't wanna download a bunch of unnecessary libraries just because people were lazy11 -
In my quest to try to understand this ridiculous daily status report to management (yes, it is micromanagement, but why ), so I asked the business analyst who is running the project management office the purpose of it in a very non-chalant manner.
"It's to show status and progress of work." Right.
"The content of the update should meet the following criteria: 1. Business language 2. Project/system specific 3. Person specific"
She then names some management people who want to know certain progress with a specific project. Such as "Jane Smith wants to know if there's progress with report failure investigations".
It is supposed to tell people proactively what's happening with a project before they ask. It also apparently shows transparency and how much time we're working on a thing. It also apparently helps senior "peeps" align priorities for work across companies (we're one of 4 companies part of a larger company, we do the software and IT stuff for them).
I said thanks and concluded with "So, our daily output is more important that outcome. I'll continue working with the project management software api to see if I can get appropriate output."
I'm sure some people in the team are not doing what they're supposed to be doing, management have trust issues, or both.
I now know the root cause of this daily pain that is being inflicted on us, and I want to do something about it, but maybe I should just stop, before it drives me over the edge.6 -
What is the weirdest shit you have seen in a daily stand-up?
I've just seen a baby horse being born on the daily stand-up.9 -
!rant
“Are you drinking my soda?”
“Statute of limitations!”
“Did you know in some countries there’s a statute of limitations on murder?”
“And?”
“And that means sometimes it can run out.”
“And?”
“And that means you can’t be tried for the crime.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“What? No. Why?”
*gestures at soda* “You literally told me that after I took your soda.”
“Oh! Shit. You mentioned statute of limitations, _that_ was the connection, it wasn’t a response to you stealing my soda.”
“You looked me right in the eye and told me that some countries have a statute of limitations on murder.”
“I looked you in the eye because we were having a conversation!”2 -
Look, I get that it's really tricky to assess whether someone is or isn't skilled going solely by their profile.
That's alright.
What isn't center of the cosmic rectum alright with the fucking buttsauce infested state of interviews is that you give me the most far fetched and convoluted nonsense to solve and then put me on a fucking timer.
And since there isn't a human being on the other side, I can't even ask for clarification nor walk them through my reasoning. No, eat shit you cunt juice swallowing mother fucker, anal annhilation on your whole family with a black cock stretching from Zimbabwe to Singapore, we don't care about this "reasoning" you speak of. Fuck that shit! We just hang out here, handing out tricks in the back alley and smoking opium with vietnamese prostitutes, up your fucking ass with reason.
Let me tell you something mister, I'm gonna shove a LITERAL TON of putrid gorilla SHIT down your whore mouth then cum all over your face and tits, let's see how you like THAT.
Cherry on top: by the time I began figuring out where my initial approach was wrong, it was too late. Get that? L'esprit d'escalier, bitch. I began to understand the problem AFTER the timer was up. I could solve it now, except it wouldn't do me any fucking good.
The problem? Locate the topmost 2x2 block inside a matrix whose values fall within a particular range. It's easy! But if you don't explain it properly, I have to sit down re-reading the description and think about what the actual fuck is this cancerous liquid queef that just got forcefully injected into my eyes.
But since I can't spend too much time trying to comperfukenhend this two dollar handjob of a task, which I'd rather swap for teabagging a hairy ass herpes testicle sack, there's rushing in to try and make sense of this shit as I type.
So I'm about 10 minutes down or so already, 35 to go. I finally decipher that I should get the XY coords of each element within the specified range, then we'll walk an array of those coordinates and check for adjacency. Easy! Done, and done.
Another 10 minutes down, all checks in place. TEST. Wait, wat? Where's the output? WHERE. THE FUCK. IS. THE OUTPUT?! BITCH GIMME AN ANSWER. I COUT'D THE RETURN AND CAN SEE THE TERMINAL BUT ITS NOT SHOWING ME ANYTHINGGG?! UUUGHHH FUCKKFKFKFKFKFKFKFUFUFUFFKFK (...)
Alright, we have about 20 minutes left to finish this motorsaw colonoscopy, and I can't see what my code is outputting so I'm walking through the code myself trying to figure out if this will work. Oh, look at that I have to MANUALLY click this fucking misaligned text that says "clear" in order for any new output to register. Lovely, 10/10 web design, I will violate your armpits with an octopus soaked in rabid bear piss.
Mmmh, looks like I got this wrong. Figures. I'm building the array of coordinates sequentially, as a one dimentional list, which is very inconvenient for finding adjacent elements. No problem, let's try and fix that aaaaaand... SHIT IM ALMOST OUT OF TIME.
QUICK LYEB, QUICK!! REMEMBER WHAT FISCELLA TAUGHT YOU, IN BETWEEN MOLESTING YOUR SOUL WITH 16-BIT I/O CONSOLE PROBLEMS, LIKE THAT BITCH SNOWFALL THING YOU HAD TO SOLVE FOR A FRIEND USING TURBO C ON A FUCKING TOASTER IN COMPUTER LAB! RUN MOTHERFUCKER RUN!!!
I'm SWEATING. HEAVILY. I'm STEAMING, NON-EROTICALLY. Less than 10 minutes left. I'm trying to correct the code I have, but I start making MORE dumbfuck mistakes because I'm in a hurry!
5 minutes left. As I hit this point of no return, I realize exactly where my initial reasoning went wrong, and how I could fix it, but I can't because I don't have enough time. Sadface.
So I hastily put together skeleton of the correct implementation, and as the clock is nearly up, I write a comment explaining the bits I can't get to write. Page up, top of file, type "the editor was shit LMAO" and comment it out. SUBMIT.
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Also hi ;>6 -
We were redesigning our template apps into a single one and I repeatedly said to our pm "don't get someone to merge all the old backends into a single api get them to build it up with the new front end"
They ignored me now I have to spend goodness knows how long fixing it because the requirements for the new fe are completely different and it's all broken.
Not to mention it was rushed converted from js to typescript and nothing is typed.
Its going to be a fun Monday.4 -
Coaches know: it's all about the mindset!
Runtime exception? Mindset!
No video in Teams? Mindeset!
Money got stolen? Mindset!1 -
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships? So they could Scandinavian.2
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Loving the absolute chaos just been caused by Meta shitting itself 😂 apart from the fact I've just had about 5 texts from family asking me to fix it 🤦15