Back in the 90s, Digital Equipment Corporation still had Vax computers in a lot of places. That os added a ";2" and ";3" and so on for each edit. One major defense contractor used that as their source control and wouldn't upgrade until "Unix fixed that bug"

He's an ass munch

I SO fucking hate the curly ones

It's the language that made him so toxic

I pretend I get an important phone call and then go outside

Love a good pun

Dad always said...

People who know how to will always have a job..
Working for the people who know why

Bwahahahaha..
Sucks to be you, but funny stuff

Sorry...

There are 10 types of people in this world :

Those that understand binary and those that don't

I used to think web dev was fun

Then I started doing mobile apps... Woo hoo... So much more fun, better pay

In my experience, the bigger the company the more they are interested in industry averages and fitting in. Moderate, average pay

Small companies pay what it takes to get shit done... I get great pay at a 100-200 person company

Fuck that. I always answer their questions with a question : what range is your client willing to entertain?

The benefits you get from the sun in terms of what vitamin D your body can manufacture far out weighs any dermatological worries

Moles are just external blemishes. Even skin cancer is relatively minor risk.

Get some sun.

That's an awesome feeling - we all know.

Proud of you!

I've actually gotten the opposite.... A full blown calendar invite with Skype addresses of who I'd be talking to, etc

Completely unsolicited - never even talked these guys - no "if you're available" or "are you qualified" but their email calendar invite was legit.

Called in just for fun and it was like an auction, with multiple devs pitching ever lower rates for jobs

I've worked several projects remotely... Plenty of time to devote to other interests.

Working in an office I have plenty of time, too. Particularly the larger corporations that have a lot of bureaucracy... It's just harder to conceal your other interests

Try this:

https://pastebin.com/RXbDELm6

Oh dang
I got busy.... Lemme paste some code

I can add more on this ignorant recruiter

The job also had a requirement to be able to get a govt SECRET clearance. Didn't know that. I've had one, could get one again - no legal issues for this boy, ever.

That might have been a deal breaker for a lot devs as well.... You think the fucking recruiter bothered to ask about that?

Nope. Never really got a good job description, either. You're right, I should have, but that's a big ass requirement in my mind... A deal breaker. Not just for me, but for lots of devs 35% is too much. That's a couple of days/week..
Anyone with a family or other responsibilities.

Should have been stated up front its such a big deal... At least that's my opinion

Yup. Quit. That ass has no clue and doesn't deserve your efforts

It's your responsibility because if it ain't done, your company will lose money. Do that enough and you will lose your job, long before the coo does

I've got a single Java class that'll run through your android files.... I could send in a pm or email

I've gotten to like kotlin

Still put a ; at the end of almost every line... Fml

I've been passed over for a couple of jobs for exactly that reason.... My 6+ years of experience are exactly what they want... But don't want to pay for

Coding tests are so fucking lame.... There's always some fucker who wants to completely toss out a developer because they did some detailed shit not quite to their expectation

These days, I treat coding tests like a user story. I get every last acceptance criteria on the table before starting. And if it isn't in the AC, they have a hard time failing me if they don't find their favorite loop/construct /class /method/etc in my code

Contractor

Normal humans have little understanding of the work required. Most just see the result of years of technology building upon itself, integrating more and more over time and have no idea of the work involved or the value.

I've never been afraid to walk away from a bad deal. The trick, though, is to get back in touch later and inquire how that shit is going for that low ass price

When presenting your own work, remember this while speaking :

You are the expert - it's your work. Everyone in the audience knows less about it than you

On that note....

How much shampoo does a software developer need to wash his/her hair?

The whole bottle - it says "lather, rinse, repeat" and there's no way out of the loop