Management: "We have a Team Building session next week"
Colleague A: "Paintballing"
Colleague B: "Go-Karting"
On the day: "Welcome. Today we will be playing an IT Helpdesk Role Playing Game"

Kill me.

Understand some students might have better solutions. Not accepting better solutions proves you're a bad teacher.

Started university of applied sciences to become a computer engineer instead of a web developer.

Met a lot of kids that are in the "computer studies = games + YouTube".

They struggle hard, but don't do anything to learn...

Then there's this classmate, the guy is 10 years older than me, is trying really hard, and struggles a lot.

I've been helping him out with assigns by asking questions, and he asks me how to solve a problem in general, not the assignments which is super refreshing to see someone that wants to learn.

Currently trying to help him "translate" the simple stuff into c++:

So, if you want the char at a certain position in a string, how would you tell me to do it?

"well, take the list, look at position x and bam its done"

Try writing it like that!

And instead of "[i]" he writes "stringvar[i]"

He really appreciates the help and I hope he'll get the mindset soon :)

Would hate to lose a motivated guy when there's so many idiots copy pasting everything from tutorials...

> It's forty years in the future
> Chilling in orbit, in my car
> *phone vibrates*
> "You have 1 new message"
> LinkedIn: People are looking at your profile

Finally got my duck.
Props to devrant for the one day delivery.

I have been strongly considering writing a small fb app today named something along the lines of "Hack your fb friends - for realz". Then add basic oauth (You have to login to pick the friend to hack duh), retrieve their friends list and then publicly post to their own timeline and the friends they chose humorously stating they attempted to hack the persons account "for realz". You know just enough to alert people that the "hacker" is a idiot with bad intentions but with just humour enough to fall under "satire" so fb doesn't remove it.

If your bored please feel free steal and implement my idea, it's hereby open sourced and I will even fund this shit on kickstarter 😂

People use duckduckgo on chrome while they are signed in.. I mean come on.. Seriously??

"It takes a lot of effort to make something seem effortless." - Alexander Isley

Okay so here are a few lessons that I have learned from being an intern to a junior developer (who’s just 2 years out of college).
- every ninja engineer starts off as a noob. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you don’t know “everything” about coding
- Respect everyone’s opinion (including the one that shouts your design is crap in a meeting). Don’t process them too much.
- leave things that happen at work, in the workplace
- Keep yourself up to date even after you’ve bagged the 100,000$ offer. Never.stop.learning.
- Be polite to your interns (been there). They look up to you and treat their juniors the way you treat them.
- Be honest. Including your tiny scrum updates. If you need more time, tell it. If you’ve screwed up something , own it up.
- Never blame or point fingers.
- Nothing is irreversible.(except things like sudo rm -rf/)
- There’s always a way out(of any mess).
- Respect what came before.
- Respect what comes after (before you push badly written code)
- It’s ok to point out mistakes but Be kind. (Else you’ll end up in someone else’s rant ;-) )

Look what my dad found in the basement!

I was once asked to create a fully secure chat system prototype (the ui didn't matter) in 2 days. We ended up building a client in python (which I wrote) and it kinda worked and a c# backend that didn't really work.

1 hour before we had to present the project to some high up management we decided that we couldn't fix the bugs in the system.

So I came up with a cool idea. Why not use ssh?
So I set up a bash script that writes to a file and tail -f that reads from the file. That way you could chat securely with another person.
I made it 15 minutes before the presentation with no Internet working :) they said it was hacky but a cool solution they saw that day :p I felt happy and that I had to thank Linux for being there for me

I just tried ending a line in normal English using a ";" instead of a "."

I need a break.

when you find a well written dev blog post and the comments are equally as informative

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"

The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?"

:v == true

I really hate it when I forget my password, cause then when I have to reset it and choose a new password a message pops up saying "Your new password cannot be the same as your old password. " Every damn time... Like WtF

I think this should happen when people get over 9000++

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Sometimes I get self conscious about saying it too often

happens :p

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

The best answer

I love that my boss can swing by when I'm editing my dotfiles, or chatting in Telegram CLI, or browsing Reddit in rtv, and he thinks I'm hard at work because it's the terminal.

all other pleasures seem to pale in comparison to the thrill of watching your code work as intended

That feeling when the front-end is easy to build because you have designed a good back-end 👌

My last employer lost 6 devs and 2 designers within a month because they thought money could buy them the right to treat employees like shit.

F_ money. We love our self respect more.

I love it when people make a mistake and break something on their website then act as tho the are losing millions of pounds every second like they are going to have to remortgage their house "life is over", if it's not fixed in 30 seconds the world will end!

Then you look at their website and you think they probably have about two users every week, and the website looks like it has been built by a one armed monkey. Delusional

Am I the only one who, while in public, subconsciously look at what users are doing on their phones in effort to better understand the species known as "user"?

During the weekdays I code for a paycheck. On the weekends I code for fun :)

So true