When your pc assigns you a Side Quest—I shall not fail you.

So you want to learn coding overnight​? 😂

Coffee. No other tool does as much for my productivity.

caffeine!

Copyright notices be slaying....

Oh yes the timing is impeccable

Developers sound like psychotic sewing serial killers.

Always taking about strings and threads or killing parents, children and detaching heads.

instant gradle build!

Where is the "not a rant" down vote option. Fuck the memes!

When you just saw a random kid playing games you made

Explains it very well !

Am I the only one who's bothered by the fact that in CSS, "!important" doesn't mean "not important" ?

Always wondered how Dijkstra came up with that algorithm!

"Your driver weighs 7 GBs!" -
a) it only "weighs" 20MBs
b) when did the byte become a unit of mass? 🤔

please contact god for detail information

sudo rm -fr /
# deletes unwanted french language pack

Machine Learning be like...

Job requirements nowadays...

Linux is love...

Film a documentary/reality television series chronicling how A. I.'s eventually self destruct trying to make sense of client requirements.

Got this from a recruiter:

We are looking for a **Senior Android Developer/Lead** at Philadelphia PA

Hiring Mode: Contract

Must have skills:

· 10-12 years mobile experience in developing Android applications
· Solid understanding of Android SDK on frameworks such as: UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation, Network Programming, etc.
· Good Knowledge on REST Ful API and JSON Parsing
· Good knowledge on multi-threaded environment and grand central dispatch
· Advanced object-oriented programming and knowledge of design patterns
· Ability to write clean, well-documented, object-oriented code
· Ability to work independently
· Experience with Agile Driven Development
· Up to date with the latest mobile technology and development trends
· Passion for software development- embracing every challenge with a drive to solve it
· Engaging communication skills

My response:

I am terribly sorry but I am completely not interested in working for anyone who might think that this is a job description for an Android engineer.

1. Android was released in September 2008 so finding anyone with 10 years experience now would have to be a Google engineer.
2. UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation are all iOS frameworks
3. Grand Central Dispatch is an iOS mechanism for multithreading and is not in Android
4. There are JSON parsing frameworks, no one does that by hand anymore

Please delete me from your emailing list.

Will do a headstand after this 😂😂

That feeling: When you see a piece of code and you're like "I can do that in half the number of lines..."
And so you spend the next 45 minutes redoing something that was working perfectly.
Except now it's a convoluted and unreadable demon child that appears to writhe on the screen before your very eyes and cause madness and hatred in all who view it. But.. it works in 3 lines now instead of 7... and you don't need 4 of those local variables that you did before... and even though it's completely impractical because no sane mortal (including yourself - barely) can actually read it, it's still yours and you're proud of it.

Do you guys worry about your non disclosure agreements at work? I use my personal computer at work so I do my own projects on the same computer as work but it makes me a bit uneasy. We're a broke startup and I'm lucky to have the job so I'm not going to ask for a computer.

Also, are you aware of it when you make rants- trying not to be too specific? Or are you not worried?

Didn't.know you can zoom in the Avatar Builder 😲

Up next "Silicon Valley Season 4".

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a base-3 joke!

Story of my life 😀

Considering Ben10s aliens are ten different apps, this is what my client wants

Job interview in half an hour! Wish me luck :)