I got 100% more requests to make apps for my family.

I default to numbers that are powers of two.

"I told you 256 times already!"

Thinking whats behind every app, site and software that I use and see

Coding changed the way I think, made me more confident about my decisions, and ruined my conversation topics.

Randomly using // on documents instead of parenthesis

Started using Vim and the more i use it, the more using regular editors feels like a waste of time.

Coding has turned me into a nocturnal weirdo who talks to rubber ducks more than human beings.

Programming tought me that time is relative.

8h of writing code feeling like just 2h and a hurting back.

Date and time is not as simple as I thought they were

How has coding impacted your life...?

- Using Linux
- Valuing OpenSorce over cracked software
- Using more CLI than GUI programs
- Only playing games that run on Linux or Wine
- Hating Micro$oft
- Utilizing VMs and Servers
- Tinkering with Hardware (RPi, custom PC)
- ...

... Nah not that much. 🤗😅

Using "%" as modulus operator rather than using it for percentages.

Enough said

what is the output??

Einstein once said: "There are only 2 infinite things, the universe and the 40-day trial of WINRAR and I am not sure about the first one"

Android really gets on my goat. They are moving things so far that they are actually doing more damage than good.

Upgrade my build tools to v25? sure! Now all my BLE code is borked, thanks for nothing.

Go to the documentation? Lol, that's deprecated fool!

At least now it can all fail to function in Kotlin, a wrapper for Java 6. Instead of keeping your tools up to date you just create another layer of obfuscation. Well done, so proud.

manager: "you wrote all your code in java, but i really prefer reading scala 😔"

me: *uses intellij to convert all my java to scala in two seconds*

When the code finally works after days of debbugging

You ever see a rant with zero ++ and even though you are not that good person but just want OP to feel loved so you give em one of those ++? I do

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

What devrant taught me:

Everyone hates java
Everyone hates php
Everyone hates spaces
Everyone hates tabs
Everyone hates vim
Everyone hates windows
Everyone hates linux
Everyone hates clients
Everyone hates PMs
Everyone hates every language they're not working with
Everyone loves devrant 😊

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:

"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"

😅

brb dying

Just found out double-clicking rants will automatically upvote em!