* Teams meeting, doing some early testing with the client *

Dev Team: This is an early build, so please be aware that bugs can occur at this stage. (That's why we didn't want to show it but you insisted)

Client: Sure, don't worry.

* 15 minutes later, first bug happens because some state management at the front end was not tunned yet *

Client: Can you solve this bug?

Dev Team: Sure, just let us replicate it and we come back to you as soon as...

Client: Can you solve it now?

Dev Team: ... Okay, let us ser whats happening and we will come ba...

Client: You don't need to hang up, just solve it.

*Dev Team internal chat*

Me: Fuck
Other dev: Fuck
My leader at the time: Fuuuuuck

PS: This happened in two separate occasions. I hated that project.

There was a project discussed and the agreed deadline was 4 months. And the next morning we got an email that we need to deliver that in a week with absolutely no change in requirements.

3 weeks to make a full mobile application. As a junior. Beat this.

Once, I overheard a conversation between my former PM and a client during a phone call.

Client: I will send the final draft of the project by Thursday.

PM: That's great to hear!

Client: When can I expect the updates to review the changes after the draft is sent? I need to present it at a meeting this weekend.

PM: It should be ready by Friday without fail!

Client: Excellent! Thank you. I will be expecting it.

PM: Sure, goodbye.

(After the call, PM joined the team.)

PM: So, team, the client for Project-A will be sending us a new draft for review and updates. They are putting a lot of pressure on us and need it to be ready by Friday at the latest. We need to treat this with a sense of urgency.

(After hearing this, we felt compelled to respond.)

Me: There's no way they would expect us to deliver an unseen draft within a day. Both the backend and Figma team members were forced to work last weekend, on Saturday, because you mentioned that Project B was behind schedule and the client needed an update by Monday. We simply can't continue working like this.

Backend guy 2: I also worked last Sunday on Project B.

Me: We overheard you telling the client that they should expect an update by Friday. It seems like you're the one directly putting the team under pressure, even though we still have three ongoing projects with tight deadlines.

(The office fell into an uncomfortable silence.)
(PM left the office without saying a word.)

Later on, I heard that he contacted the client to reschedule the expected time of arrival (ETA) after receiving the draft.

The most unrealistic deadline? Okay, here it goes. For context, this is one of my earliest jobs, and I’m actively using React.

— Kiki, I have a stunning idea! Let’s build a Figma clone!
— Okaaaay, 🧐
— You have two days.
— A what?
— I’ve just stumbled upon an amazing new technology. You maybe don’t know it yet. It’s called React.js, and you totally can build a full Figma clone in two days using it!
— …
— It’s a revolution, and you’re so ignorant for not following it. Are you even a real engineer?
— …

Two days later:
— Forget about Figma! Let’s build an online DAW for musicians!

That guy was nuts. I left when we had an executive meeting, I was explaining tech things, and he suddenly popped out a fucking tambourine and started striking it. One year later, he lost everything and went to get a junior C++ position at an outsourcing company.

PM is on his period again

Update or not to update? That's the question.

Recently, my private laptop has begun to yap about updating to Windows 11 because Windows 10 will no longer be supported from October.

Should I update? My major concern with Windows 11 is, will I have to log in using a Microsoft account requiring a 2FA and how is that carried out? Does it require some fucking mobile app? I don't own a smart phone and am not going to get one either (I hate touchscreens and mobile apps).

Everybody atheist till it’s time to upgrade bios

AI can take my job. I can't do this anymore.

Best of luck waking up 7 A.M on Mondays, logging in to work and telling in those 10 am scrum meetings “I’m still wOrking on the sAme tiCket as last friDay.”

Enjoy my job graybot.

I’m gonna go outside and remember what sunlight looks like. Maybe touch grass. Maybe grow crops. Maybe herd some cows. Idk. Might start a farm or might scream into the wind.

We had a teambuilding last Friday. We went indoor karting and it was a lot of fun. My project manager does not have a driving license and it did show.

The karts have a boost button (electric karts) and my project manager used it before a turn and then slammed into wall. Now he got a few bruised ribs haha

Also, it's still funny to me that I was part of the teambuilding during my resignation but i'm not gonna complain about that. :D

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

I had the weirdest job interview in the world. A job that wasn't even considering due to lower compensation than what I am making.

Throughout my career I saw three types of interviews (some times I have 1 & 2, 1&3 or just 2 or just 3 or fail early in 1):

1. HR textbook style: your 3 biggest weaknesses, what would your coworkers describe (I fail most of the time here)

2. People coming to prove a point to you (what happened to me today): Somebody with a clear intention to prove you are stupid and/or lying.. You are guilty until proven innocent style of interaction. They will find one little thing that you read about 15 years ago and zoom in it enough (it takes a 1min read to go over that again) and to them you are stupid and that's it. Generally insecure people do that

3. Tech oriented hiring people: it always goes well even if I don't get hired. Where they focus on the skills that take years to master rather than zooming on something you studied 15 years ago and totally forgot.

The hiring person was in tech presumably for 20 years but I saw 0 important stuff in his github. (I can name and shame if it's allowed here)

Want to prevent your Windows PC from ever entering sleep mode? (Okay, okay, I know, you can do it in settings.)

Easy solution: Launch the Amazon Music app. (Without even playing any music, just launching the app prevents sleep mode, lol.)

What dumb developers from Amazon...

How can something called SOAP be such filthy shit. No wonder people wanted to build local-only software back then.

I find myself to be a simple man
A man who likes his Porto in large quantity rather than in dainty "my life has been good of late" ones.

A man who believes that Python code should have All its variables and parameters typed

A man who thinks people who write long requirements for programmer jobs do they can not hire people who need work should be shot

My friends a man who loves a pretty woman in one hand and an inscribed big ass gun pointing in harms way in the other but would much rather have stayed home in bed with the pretty woman all day.

Yes indeed a man who would rather have stayed home in bed and awoken to drink and fall back asleep 2 days a week.

Indeed a man of the people.

That's what kind of man stands before you.

Anyway

It was a fond memory when I was younger and more handsome to hear someone else day they were just looking at my face but of course they always had some scary meaning occluding some danger out of sight.

I just like being happy
What's so wrong with that ?

Meanwhile I am so simple I suppose I don't understand this seeming endless war on comfort progress and goodness being waged

It's like it takes more effort to achieve this level of suck than it does to make everything better

My manager is back from paternity leave and immediately got 4 hours of meetings :&

I just got blocked on chess.com because some british guy blundered away like three pieces in a row and I went "blimey! the brexit geezer gambit!"

simple as.

Stop calling non-engineers engineers.

It's 3:17 am and I'm still not sleeping. Shoot me.