"Tabs create smaller file sizes. I run a compression company, trust me, I've devoted my life to minimalizing file sizes."

- Richard Hendricks

Fuck you java for forcing me to catch an exception which will never occur -.-

Yep...

Shortest Android dev training course, 7 taps! I am now android development, yes? 😂

My toaster doesn't work.

Fuck Windows 10

Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.

OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.

Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.

OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.

I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Kindly asking for help...!
😂😂😂

when its linux birthday

When you prove its a hardware probelm

Holy crap, just consulted with a company who wanted to fire the entire 6 person backend team because:

"They don't produce any tangible work or add value to the company."

Initially I didn't catch on, went to chat with the devs and realised the dilemma. Took 3 hours of (almost heated) debate before the higher ups understood the the value and purpose of backend devs.

This is a kitchen appliance company who recently moved into IoT 🙃

microsoft

wtf?!?! now it's going to rain ELEPHANTS? ??

"....I heard you are good with computers?"
This is how it always starts.

Hey everyone - please help get devRant on stage at the TNW Momentum Conference that we will have a booth at!

We need your votes which you can place here: http://thenextweb.com/scale/vote/...

If you're going to be at the conference, please stop by as we'd like to meet any devRant community members that are there :)

Thank you and please let me know if you have any questions. We appreciate the help!

Edit: if you want to track our competition/where we stand, the leaderboard is here: http://thenextweb.com/scale/vote

If we ever colonize Mars or if we even go further I am already feeling sorry for the poor bloke that will have to work on DateTime library.

"I wrote the code, I have to maintain the code, I wont need any comments"

*some months later*

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

How I've decided to answer the "can you hack" question from here on in...

"Can you show me how to hack this account please?"

"Sure, you'll need a hammer, a blow torch, chloroform, some pliers and couple of bottles of really pure vodka!"

"What the hell?!"

"Oh, it's so much quicker to just extract a password from a person, than it is to break into a system, I'm not exactly trained in inflicting pain on the human body, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out through trial and error, good luck!"

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

Am I the only one who couldn't care less how my website looks on Internet Explorer? If you visit my website, you'd better damn well not be using Internet Explorer.

When you know whats wrong, but you have no fucking clue how to fix it.

Hey everyone! We just found a post about devRant on Hacker News that is trending! It would help us out a lot if you could vote on it, thanks! https://news.ycombinator.com/item/...

About to go live...

I always grew up with the "programmers are wizards" idea in mind. Of course, I understood it was just a joke. But on my first day in university I went to my first CS class... And my professor looked exactly like a wizard.

Been using the same language for 5 years... still Googles basic functions to remember the arguments.

When I say I use vim most people think I'm doing the dishes.

Microsoft Word auto-saved a document, on inspection last thing typed was ":wq"

Sometimes I go ridiculously hardball on my comments in order to gain a better understanding of what I'm trying to accomplish

Well someone messed up.

When you return to a personal projet you put aside more than 3 weeks ago