TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.

>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass

My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃

Two types of programmers:
1. :wq
2. ctrl + s

Tried to exit MS Word with :wq and started wondering why it isn't closing before I saw the Windows logo.

Laughed at this :wq, showed to gf, she can't understand why it's so funny ;)

Switching between Vim and atom, ":wq" sometimes finds itself in my scripts 😅

- Start in command mode
- Press `i´ to edit
- Press ESC to go back in command mode
- Type in `:wq´ in command mode to save and exit

So now none of you can say that he doesnt understand vim

Thank me later

I can't quit making jokes about exiting Vim.

This was me until someone told me to press :q or :wq if I wanted to save :')

I forgot to claim my free stress ball, but then the ++ required were increased so here's a rant about exiting vim:wq
ESC
recording @q
:wq
^C ^C
:q
:Wq
:wq

Wait, shit, I made a typo!
$ nano file.py

Microsoft Word auto-saved a document, on inspection last thing typed was ":wq"

That moment when you *Esc, :wq, Enter* on Sublime Text...
Damn VIM... xD

Ok so I switched to Linux not so long ago and after using vim some time i did :wq in notepad 😂😂

When you read your sent email and you find :wq at the end of it.

Tried deploying a new nginx server today, wrote the site config manually.

"Alright, done! Let's restart the service and look in the browser how it looks"

# systemctl restart nginx
> Process exited with error code.
"Fuuuuck..."
# nginx
> Unexpected } on line 13.

# vim /etc/nginx/sites-enabled/thatconfig.conf
"Wait wtf.. there's nothing wrong with the curly braces.. they're all opening and closing as they should..."
*takes another closer look*
Line 12, missed a fucking semicolon 😑
Append semicolon, :wq, # systemctl restart nginx
Works like a charm 🙄 all because of a stupid semicolon.

Until now I thought that the semicolon jokes were just lame.. but damn you semicolon, you are indeed the superior hide and seek player 😅

So I decided to start learning vim.

The amount of times that I insert ":wq" into my file!!

So I have that custom-made wifi router I've built. And it uses a USB wifi adapter with AC (wifi5) capability - the fastest one I could find in AliExpress.

I set it up a while ago - the internet access works fine, although speeds are somewhat sluggish. But hey, what to expect from a cheapo on Ali! Not to mention it's USB, not a PCIe...

A few days ago I ran a few speedtest.net tests with my actual AC router and the one I've built. Results were so different I wanted to cry :( some pathetic 23Mbps with my custom router :(

This evening I had some time on my hands and finally decided to have an umpteenth look.

nmcli d wifi
this is what caught my eye first. The RATE column listed my custom router as 54Mbps, whereas the actual router had 195Mbps.

I have reviewed the hostapd configuration sooo many times - this time nothing caught my eye as well.

Googling did not give anything obvious as well.

What do we do next? Yes, that's right - enable debug and read the logs.

> VHT (IEEE 802.11ac) with WPA/WPA2 requires CCMP/GCMP to be enabled, disabling VHT capabilities

This is one of the lines at the top of the log. Waaaaiiitttt.. VHT is something I definitely want with ac -- why does it disable that??? Sounds like a configuration fuckup rather than the HW limitation! And config fuckups CAN be fixed!

Turns out, an innocently looking
`wpa_pairwise=TKIP`
change into
`wpa_pairwise=TKIP CCMP`

made a world of a difference!

:wq
!hostapd
connect to the hostapd hotspot and run that iperf3 test again, and... Oh my. Oh boi! My pants fell off -- the speed increased >3x times!

A quick speedtest.net test deems my custom router's download speeds hardly any worse than the speeds obtained using my LInksys!!

The moral of the story: no matter how innocent some configurations look, they might make a huge difference. And RTFL [read the fucking logs]

In the pic -- left - my actual router, right - my custom-built router with a USB wifi adapter. Not too shabby!

* Colleague asks how to make a alias for IP address
* Open up notepad++ w/ admin rights and load C:\Windows\System32\Drivers\etc\hosts in
* add a new entry to map IP to the alias
* hit sequence [ENTER][ESC]:wq[ENTER]
* wonder why is notepad window still there... Did it freeze again?

... happens to me all the time :(

Who else finds themselves typing esc + :wq in there IDE after using vim for a while.

Apparently some freaking man in my ex-team tried to learn Vim because he thought he could become more efficient but he spend more than two weeks trying it while delivering poor quality code with extra spaces, bad indentation and extra "wq" strings

I guess this one is easier to use...

Been using Vim for a long time, so long that I type :wq at the end of every text I write
:wq

Writing a paper in Microsoft Word and I can't stop pressing esc then :w when wanting to save,or :wq when wanting to save and quit, or :q! when wanting to rage and quit.

Did anyone know shift+zz is also a way to exit vim other than :wq

decorating the back of my sketchbook! it's conveniently dark-themed :>
~
~
~
[esc]
:wq

:Wq
:wwq
:wqq
:wQq
:wq

I don't get all the "Can't exit vim" jokes.
IT'S NOT THAT HARD!
Its (esc) : wq to save and exit
And
(esc) : q! to exit without saving.

Just read vimtutor.

Gosh

Fuck this shit , someone tell me how to exit vim

:wq

Commit message: :wq ::::wq :wq :wq

I finish sentences with semicolons.

I type 'exit' in whatsapp conversations when I'm done sending messages.

I tried to :wq from Google docs the other day.

And most importantly of all, coding got me into tech in general, made me switch to Linux, start a thousand personal projects at a time and is now the thing I dedicate most of my time to, both in and out of work.

When your code breaks because you comitted :wq

So I'm trying to get used to using vim and I've spent a couple of days setting up my vimrc and practising commands and what not.

Come today I'm doing my first proper coding session and my codes sending back weird errors and I can't work out why

Then when I read very carefully I find :w somewhere it's not supposed to be... Of course I'd forgetten to enter normal mode a ton of times and now my code is littered with :wq and :w so I spent a few minutes combing my code to find them all and it all works now.

Am I an elite hacker now?

Wtf computer what do you mean mean it doesn't compile?
"Found : at char (95) expecting key word"

*Inspects code*
... Fucking vim..

Best strategy for getting unstuck?
It's easy dude, :wq

Why is it so difficult to copy paste in an editor which is considered as one of the most sophisticated editor ? I use VIM for almost everything except for copy pasting . All those internal buffer ..external buffer things are complicating things..

And the sad part is ..once i was editing a bash script using sublime ..I pressed escape :wq .. and tried executing that for a long time .. I was clueless for sometime after which i realised i didnt save the document..

If at all VIM had easy ways to copy paste..😥

Friend: Hey I am rebasing my commits and got stuck into a weird window and i was not able to come out of it?
Me: It is vi LMAO. Just press `:wq`
Friend: Wait I'm pressing the same but still nothing happened, it is displaying on my screen?

... After 200 messages...
Me: Just close the computer and I am going to Himalayas. Peace

That moment when you've been working on unix based project with vim for several days and you get back to Eclipse and always type :wq to save your file ...

I know how to close vim :q! or :wq

I recently found myself :wq-ing inside PHPStorm more and more often so today I decided to install the IdeaVim plugin so this won't happen anymore (or rather so it'll do as I intended) and so I can better learn Vim :)
Wish me luck

oh by the way this plugin has 3.5m downloads - holy shit :O

iAPPLIED CS UNIVERSITY, DAY 1 (2018-09-24)

11:00 UTC+3: Arrived at the secretary's office to complete my registration. I met quite some people; I forgot the names of some. I spent some time over there, so I took the 13:00 class instead of the 11:00 one. It's still early, so we pick whichever we want.

13:00: Procedural Programming at the Computer's lab. The computers were running Windows 8.1! 😱 I might connect to my laptop via RDP. It would be very cool. The course was about C, but the first time was just an introduction. We are going to use Code::Blocks. We were also explained the (HTTP only) web platform in which we are logged in via our passwords and submit our assignments. The professor was very nice, but this day at least was very boring. I was watching CodeMinkey cartoons, trying to solve AdLitterams.

18:00: Back for Applied Mathematics I. At the same computer lab. No lesson did happen, because we have to s learn theory stuff first (every Friday I think). Back to home.

Tommorrow is going to be a hard day...:wq

*First time using Vim*
Me - Yay I am excited to open file in vim
- Vim test.py
*Make some edit, I mean Just changing variables name :P*

Me - alright it's done, let's exit from it
Me - wait how I can get out from it?

Google's it

Me - haha alright let's do it again

:q

Didn't Work

Me - hmm why tho?
-Aah I didn't saved it

:wq

-You can't save this existing file
Me - WHY THO?!
me - alright Calm down it's first time
Spamming bot Activated

:q
:wq
:qq
:we
Me - OMG ! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
- fine let's do it last time
:q
*For more options type vim --h
Me - ಠ︵ಠ

*Next day*
Welcome, I am cortana

I love vi :wq! Hdjwowjdbdhwiwijdbdbej

Ctrl + [ :wq when i write something on a chat.

When you realize that commands like :wq / :q! / :x aren't getting you anywhere because you're in sublime not vim. I've begun my descent into a vim fan boy...

Being 5 minutes early is already being 10 minutes late.
:wq

Ctrl+X followed by Ctrl+C to quit. Let that sink in. Think about :wq. Think about Ctrl+X. Think. Ask yourself how you think about it and then think again.

And if you say "well it's AWESOME" then start using your clipboard more when using a gui around the terminal or ssh and come back 1 month later.

People say vi is counter intuitive.. what the fuck is emacs then?

!rant vim
As i've seen a lot of rants about can't close vim type so I searched and found this in book does it work or not .
Try these: What to Type What it does
:q Quit the current window (or editor if you are out of windows) if there are no unsaved changes.
:q! Quit the current window even if there are unsaved changes.
:qa Quit all windows unless there are unsaved changes.
:qa! Quit all windows even if there are unsaved changes.
:wq Save changes and quit the current window.
ZZ Save changes and quit current window

If you can't get out of vim, you should check to be sure the caps lock is OFF, and press the escape button. If it feels good, press it a couple of times. If it beeps, you know that you've escaped enough. Then these exit commands should work.

Committing :wq to github
#vimproblems

Back in the early 90's I never switched from vi to emacs, despite the peer pressure to do so
<ESC>
:wq