My rubber ducky is a terrifying alien species from the exoplanet TRAPPIST-1B, but also a swear jar.

Just want to recommend the DevRant stress ball. I wasn't quite sure how to use it (it doesn't come with instructions) but since stuffing mine down the PM's throat my stress level has reduced dramatically.

Voice in my head: You should do something good this weekend.
My body: Yeah let's code up a community fostering app for the neighborhood.....

Two Nights later:
Amidst a half empty bottle of Jack ...
Voice in my head: dude why isn't this shit working, you've done this billions of times.
My body: It's your fault...time to drink you away.

And like that,
At the break of day,
A hungover and glazed developer,
Debugged! as they say.
Community app launched
On memorial holiday,

Foosball table?.. No. This is a battle ground. The opponent must at all times be annihilated.

How do you react?

Found this gem:

Software and cathedrals are much the same. First we build them, then we pray.

Jaja so true

Polymorphism

How many programmers does it take to change a light-bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.

Was scrolling through LinkedIn and had forgotten i wasn't on devRant. Just thought:
- "Man, these rants really suck."

I remember showing a kid a floppy disk and he asked why I made a life-sized save button.

Go home Chrome, you're drunk

45 minutes into a technical presentation called "Architecture Meets Design", I realized the guy built houses.

New "dev" at our company. One of his first questions. "Could an if clause have two conditions?"... /me *facepalm* ... where did my boss find this Person and what did he told him?

please don't...

browsed LinkedIn articles, saw one about "good qualities of WordPress Developer", first bullet point is "following coding best practices" is it just me or that is one of the main things wrong with WP

Just tacked this to my cube.

ammm....

Incompatible types. Needs to casted before assigned. 😂

Being the champ. ;)

Ain't go no problem

why can't i get past this Screen!!!!!!! arghhhhhh

my first contact with GNU/linux

In an interview...
¿What's your favorite programming language?
- HTML, I love it.

Ctrl C, go over hear, Ctrl V. This might take a while, I'll go drop a deuce will this is copying over.

[ 3 hours later... ]

Alright, back at it. What's this dialog?

"The destination already has a file named...".

1% complete.

Well, fuck me in the goat ass.

Low profile

Responsive..

Hate being forced to jump back and forth between mutiple projects that use different languages, syntax, and IDEs. Feels like I'm juggling chainsaws and kittens.

dat feeling when you code a chunk of a page for 15mins and then you test it for an hour and a half cause you cant believe there's no bug or unhandled error

I hate Java. I hate Maven. I despise Hibernate.