When I wrote a code snippet on an exam paper📄 during college🎓 days and the lecturer compiled ✔️ it without an error.

Before wk200, i will have impregnated all dev ladies... Sorry with great ideas I mean..

Issuing transfers to unix for every developer

I once had an interview at a restaurant named CASINO. As I was about to go into the interview room to meet with the manager a current employee whispered furtively to me, "He is really small".

When I accompanied my Dad to buy a laptop. I listened to the conversation between him and the dealer an I was like "will I ever understand anything to do with pc specifications".

"How do you spell toad?" one of my first-grade students asked.
"We just read a story about a toad," I said, then helped him spell it out: "T-O-A-D."
Satisfied, he finished writing the story he’d begun, then read it aloud: "I toad my mama I wanted a dog for my birthday."

Trying to log into my laptop, I got "wrong password" alert five times only for my illiterate girlfriend to notice that the caps lock was on!

I was working late one day and a "dumb" co-worker and another co-worker who work later than me were both there. "Dumb" co-worker was a few feet from me and the other co-worker didn't know I was working late that day. So she comes out of the break room and says "Oh, Team Manager, you're still here?"
I jokingly say "No, I left!"

Honest to god, "dumb" co-worker jumps out of her seat and says "HE'S LYING, HE'S STILL HERE."

Re-installing Kerspersky trial version after every three months.

IT and S*X are one and the same thing use of a firewall is like using a c*nd*m.

At times you have good ideas! Ahm, you wish you know how the idea should work.