While sitting on the toilet, it struck me:

int y = (int) (x+0.5); //x is a float

is exactly the same as:

int y = Math.round(x);

It's such a simple thought, yet, I realized that just now.

If recruiters had a playlist 😂

🎉 Today, I quit!

🖕🏻 Hannah from HR
🖕🏻 Hot desking

👋 I will miss (most of) the other people though. They were ok.

🤔 Now how am I gonna afford my coke and Bollinger hobbies

My first time being paid. (One time job)
Feels good.

I'll admit - I come from a WordPress background of almost 9 years in the making. I guess I can justify it because of all of the sites I created using it, it was the best that it could be on WP. Fast, efficient, custom - none of that off-the-shelf themeforest crap. I created everything custom. I actually knew what was going on behind the scenes of WP.

And then a buddy of mine and I had an idea for a new company/software project. I was smart enough to know that WP was not the foundation for this, so I did some NodeJS/Express tutorials. Started learning React, and really getting into the Javascript world.

And now I'm wondering WHY IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK I ever bothered trying to become an expert in WP. It's the largest use of PHP in the fucking world and it doesn't even have native composer support. And by the time you actually get your project set up using composer you have to add a fucking mirror of the wordpress.org plugin repo to get anything to work. It's 2018 and you'd think that WP and composer would have all of this shit figured out by now.

And don't get me started on git - as soon as you have more than 1 person working on a WP site, I hope you have hourly backups of your DB because someones work will get overwritten. So you all either need to work on the same staging area of work around each other by pushing/pulling the DB and schedule your workflows.

I guess WP CLI and the REST API are a step in the right direction, but the foundation of everything is just so fucked up.

I don't feel like I've wasted my web dev career, but I definitely wish I had started down this path a lot earlier. I guess you don't know what you don't know. Thanks for reading!

I wish I hadn't looked *just* at that particular point...

666...can't be a good omen.

I have mouse
I have WordPress

Uh! Web developer

My little cellar room 🤗
(Usually much more messy than that, just cleaned up a bit for the photo)

My 80 year old very absent minded dad made a website, all by himself, using a two decades old book he got from the thrift store.

He's even hosting it himself on an old laptop running Debian, including a redirect to a beautiful nostalgic /~username/index.htm url (not gonna share the link, because his personal details are on there).

The whole site is incredibly carefully crafted, and I'm super proud of him.

Who cares if it's not a React app? The 14 kilobytes of HTML 4.0 markup load in 20-30ms, and it renders pretty much perfectly in every browser including Internet Explorer 4 and Edge.

🤷‍♂❤️

Bought a new android phone and spent an hour:
* uninstalling apps
* disabling automatic updates
* disabling recommendations
* disabling sending anonymous usage data
* disabling notifications

It's like playing hide and seek but without fun

Biological name of terminal

"What should I answer to that comment? I'm not sure about the meaning... Let's just upvote it."

Face it.

Most of the time, in PHP, you're just using Contracts to be cool.

Unless you're coding something like a framework, I don't see the point.

Or I guess, if you're hiring someone to take on your project... but even then, that person might feel restricted for no reason?

I really like the concept of a "hackerspace" but they are far away from my flat and after working all day I don't really wanna travel across the city for hours to try things for an hour or two because I need to catch the train on time to get at least a bit of sleep.

I'm thinking of a "digital hackerspace" where ppl can "meet" and write code or build something(?). Does something like this exist?

If it doesn't I'd really like to build that kind of thing because I'd say I'm not the only person thinking like that 😅

Aaaaaw fuck yea. I'm finally at my mother's, for my first holidays since late December 2017, and I FINALLY can sleep as much as I want without being bothered. I just slept 30+ hours in 3 days, which is close to what I sleep in a week. Still tired though, but I feel so much more relaxed than the evening I arrived at my mom's place 3 days ago *.*

Achievement unlock

I was fresh out of college, love Java and looking for a job.

Well, after exact 1 month I sucked the reality. I found an Ad for a designer and got selected. Point is I mention my qualification in high school because I was feeling bad to disclose my higher degree for such a job.

I worked for 6 months there and every day was like working as the covert operative. I always knew I can write an automated script for all that daily shit. But for the sake of the landlord rent, I kept quiet. (I literally care for his children, I was the only source of income)

Then, my friend that day 16-Sep-2012 I wrote a program to do all the repetitive thing I used to do.
My boss found out and I expose my self as Spiderman do to Jen, Sir! I am a Programmer.

Sadly it was, no surprise to him. He said, on your first day I found out that you are not high school. Because with such accuracy only a graduate can do such level of the job.

He praised me and motivated me, my first non-technical master.

How should I make this fractal more tree like?

Not me but a coworker.

BA: How should we respond to business person's email?

Dev: Delete it.

Try all you want, I will not join the cult of pink 😛

You know you're fucked when you start searching answers on quora instead of Stack Overflow.

So I’m having an argument with my gf.

Is it “Why is 6 afraid of 7?” or “Why is 10 afraid of 7?”

I fucking said that 6 has not seen the action of 7 eating 9. But 10 has, therefore he is scared.

If we were to iterate from 0 to 10, we would see that 6 hasn’t seen shit.

Let’s print out each number if we iterate through and find a consecutive 7, 8 and 9 then print out “Oh shit 7 ate 9.”

0
1
2
3
4
5
6 // Hey honey I don’t see anything here??
7
8
9
Oh shit 7 ate 9
10 // Someone call the fucking police

Thoughts?

Sometime I’m developing in Rust and I do something wrong.

Then I look at the terminal and it says...

“You did X, did you mean to do Y”

Then I do it and it works perfectly, and I’m like...

Why do I even have a job if the compiler is this good?

Me: Sometimes I talk to myself while debugging.
Me: OMG 😱, me too..
Me: Lets try pair programming next time.

Apparently after 14 hours of coding, my sleepy version is happy with

!>= instead of <=

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"

So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.

First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.

So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.

Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?

I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.

Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?

"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"

So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.

More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!

I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.

And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.

"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."

You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!

"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."

I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.

So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.

You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.