I've been wanting to reply "Hail Hydra" 😂

A trusted-partner of my company obviously opened a dodgy email, as some of my co-workers got emails with a dodgy link from them....

So our Network Admin sent an email to the entire company with a screenshot of the email and a message along the lines of "DO NOT CLICK THE LINK IF YOU'VE RECEIVED THE ORIGINAL EMAIL!"

Company director REPLIES TO ALL and says 'i cant click the link that you sent to us'.
N.A replies directly to him to say its only a screenshot as it could spread a virus.

Director then informs N.A that that he has found the original mail (hurrah!) but the link downloaded an empty .zip file, so he forwarded the file to another director... who also couldn't open.... so they forwarded it to another person who also couldn't open it..... and they in turn forwarded it etc etc.

Currently have 37 power scans running (out of 250 computers) and trying to figure out how the hell these people manage to dress themselves every morning.

Creepy..... WTF

Providing work estimation:

Dev: This should take about 2 weeks

Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.

*After one week*

Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?

How to get devs to apply for a job

Knowing that yours is probably the last job that will be automated, followed only by complete annihilation of humanity by artificial intelligence..

During a meeting with customer I explained him two different options we could realise for his requirement.

Customer: "That sounds good! Do it!"
Me: "Well, you have to decide which option you want to be realised."
Customer: "Yes!"
Me: "You need some time to decide that?"
Customer: "No!"
Me: "So Option A or B"
Customer: "Yes!"

When your company launches a new mobile, hands it to you for free and also lets you engrave on it.

Worst security ever?

This would be funny if it wasn't supposed to show the amount on my bank account.

Note to myself : Searching "String LaTeX" on google might give you something quite different from what you expected

When a traffic light has a merge conflict.

after spending a day figuring out why my code does not work, i finally realized someone broke master

then i found myself in the following conversation

jim : "yeah, we found out about it yesterday, i am working on a fix right now"

me : "so why did you not send and email to everyone that master is broken, don't pull changes"?

jim : "hey... someone told me to fix it, so that's what i am doing. that doesn't include sending an email. if you want to, you can send it.. "

Deadlines.

(src: http://turnoff.us/geek/deadline/)

Programming: The more you know, the less you know

One day my mum got a call from a man claiming to be from Microsoft. He said there is something wrong with the computer and tried to make her install TeamViewer to "fix" it, but my mum didn't manage to install it for several hours until he gave up.
Sometimes knowing even less can save your PC.

Free time... sometimes I want to program, learn new stuff and work on personal projects, but sometimes I just want to be a couch potato and play hours and hours of video games...

Worst part of being a dev? Thinking up of commit messages.

"You've been working on this for 6 weeks, and I don't see any changes. What have you done?"
"I completely overhauled the backend, now everything makes more sense and we're using more modern APIs"
"But nothing's changed at all! The front-end looks exactly the same!!"
"*sigh* The new backend is also more secure.. "
"Oh, so it's a security upgrade, that's good, but why did it take six weeks?"
-_-

*ring ring*
Me: Hello?
Unknown: We received info that your computer has a wirus
Me: and how do you know?
Unknown: We received a report
(Playing Along)
Me: Ok? How do I fix it?
Unknown: Sir, are you by your computer?
Me: Yes (No, I am at work 😇)
Unknown: Sir, do you see the ctr key?
Me: Yes (here it comes)
Unknown: Do you see the flag picture?
Me: Yes (Getting closer)
Unknown: Press both the flag key and the r key at the same time. (BINGO!!!)
Me: My computer crashed and it is saying your a scammer, so bye.

It is fun to trick scammers!

The concept of manhours in our company.
A project that is estimated to take 400 manhours can not be finished by 50 people on 4 hours.

Most hilarious bug I found in Windows 10. 😂😂😂

And then there is this beauty...

What my experience was like learning SQL and server side stuff at my University

We love to code
But we don't love what we code

That's deep.

The worst thing about being a dev is after a while your reaction to every problem is this: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Or this: ಠ_ಠ

Programming is like sex💞
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life 🙈

The worst part of being a dev is the inability to leave a problem, any problem, unsolved.

Who is agree with this CSS, and how it could be optimized?

#wife {
right: 100%;
margin: 0;
position: fixed;
}

Getting told by someone who is almost to stupid to open a word file how easy it would be to develop XYZ.