Economic collapse. We'd be the first to be laid off.

When you ask for documentation and they hand you a Word document with screenshots of the changed code

Sure sex is cool but have you ever deleted Microsoft Teams from your phone?

What‘s your favourite operating system?
And why is it OSX?

New job with 100% remote work. They don’t have a laptop sent. I am paid to wait for a delivery.

Class constructor defined on line 700+
😑 Really...

You know what, I'm out of devRant until Coronavirus is over. I can't take one more repost of the TCP UDP handshake shit.

Dev side not really, but we're in the tourism industry, so it's pretty bad. Rough out there

Manual serializer. I've found some of this in our code and wonder who could be that insane.

Day 2 of having to use linux at work and I almost nuked the /etc folder.

what a good start

So I am a Junior Dev in this small company. We have different tasks for the current sprint so I don't care what my teammates are doing. Then came the integration of our works, where a Mid Dev was assigned to create a Carting/Basket service. As we are integrating, I noticed that we are passing data to his service as is. We are passing the price, item name, etc. on his API. I asked him why the fuck are we not passing the IDs of the items instead. He didn't understand what I'm saying and instead defended his work. I showed him how I was able to manipulate the total amount of items I added to cart. He wasted almost 6 days of developing. Ughh.

Dear diary:

It is 2020 and I still don't know shit about docker :3

I don't know how bad this is.....

Technical Founder at today's meeting: "All of you guys have work-life balance. It shouldn't be like that. We need act like a startup. You guys need to work really hard. This guy (pointing at me) once worked 10 hours each day, where I worked 16 hours. We really need to move fast."

I'll just leave this words here.

When you review a PR from a senior dev, find something improvable, suggest it and the dev updates it accordingly.

The first time when this happened made me the luckiest guy. It's still rare, though.

When a normal person says "IMHO", it means "In my humble opinion"

When a programmer says "IMHO", its means "You are wrong".

Interviewer : So what frameworks and library you usually use?
Me : i use volley for networking, gson for parsing, livedata/architecture components for architecture and observability , room for database and java for app development

I : ok so make this sample app using retrofit for networking, moshi for parsing, mvrx for architecture , rx for observability , sqldelight for db, dagger2 and kotlin for app dev. You have 8 hours

Me :(wtf?) But i never used those libs or language!
I : we just want to check how easily you adapt to different surroundings.

Me : -_-

Honestly i don't know of it was a great experience or a bad one . I was stressed the whole time but was able to adapt to almost all of those libraries and frameworks.
At the end i got selected but decided not to go for those ppl. That was just a lucrative opening of a venus fly trap, they would have stressed the hell out of me

Recently had to implement some microbenchmarks for a project. First time I ran them, I thought they had gone stuck. It turned out they weren't, but the processing took forever.

Some smaller benchmarks revealed that runtime was not scaling linearly with the input size as one would expect for the problem. It turned out that code was iterating over the input to find corresponding entries in the output.

We changed the processing so that it creates the output in the same order as the input and just compare entries at the same position. With that we were able to cut runtime from a few hours to a few seconds.

I always enjoy optimizing SQL queries.

Duplication is far cheaper than the wrong abstraction - Sandi Metz

No, listen to me. I cannot approve this PR because your code does not comply with our code style. All the imports and annotations must be sorted in ascending order by length. They must all make fir-like blocks of code. Because it looks nice.

Now go and fix your code

I just smiled and walked away to obfuscate my code with firs . I had no idea what to even say to that... I still don't

Writing css is still better than having to refactor angular code.
aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh.

#whatamess

Why the FUCK typescript exists? it solves NOTHING, it just adds more complexity to the code

I asked at an interview if they documented their code with class diagrams.
One of the interviewers told me: "Good code doesn't need a class diagram"

...

*TRIGGERED*

I had a manager who was a complete incompetent idiot (other than a fucking backstabber). He left the company ~3 weeks ago, yet I believe it would take 5 years to get rid of his legacy.

Today I discovered that one of his "genius ideas" led to the loss of months of data. This is already bad, but it's even more upsetting given that the records that have been lost are exactly the ones I needed to prove the validity of my project.

That fucking man keeps fucking with me even when he's not here, YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!!

Oh god... technical decisions should be taken by people who actually know what they are doing and even so still counter-checked and not followed blindly.

I am currently working in a company that wasted millions by trying to implement micro-services where they don't belong and didn't step back when they realize it was a mistake

(protip: micro-services usually don't belong in most places).

Now we're dealing with the sunken costs fallacy and I am seriously believing that the company is going bust in a few months. Let's wait and see.

Developer confession.

I always git push a new branch even though I know it will error as there's no upstream, just to copy the full git push with set upstream arguments from the error message.

How many of you folks here consider yourself specialist in a certain area? Was this deliberate, and has it paid off? My lead dev is always trying to bestow upon me the advantages of being a generalist in this industry, and yet the employers I have spoken to, on the whole, seem to get most excited by “experts”. If it fits the expert they, want, of course...

I walk into the kickoff meeting today. The first part of this project had 5 developers and a project manager. Former project manager handled communication and sheltered us from bullshit. We built an amazing piece of software in a very short time. Customers were so amazed that they decided to reboot the project, boost the funding by several million, and let us go again. They specifically requested the same team.

Now the team looks like this: the neediest tester guy, a UX lady that doesn't have any UX background, an agile "visionary", a project manager that doesn't understand how development works, a solutions architect, 3 COTS platform specialists, a devops specialist, and an account lead. They have booked all kinds of workshops and other shit to kick things off.

So development capacity is only 60% of what it was. Management ratio was 1:5 before. Now the management ratio is 9:3. The new project manager thinks developers should be on more customer calls and responding to all customer emails during sprints. We already built this system and devops pipelines end to end. The COTS people, solutions architect, or the UX person can't program. They want us to magically convert this custom application into one based on COTS. What we need to do is make the rest of the business processes that we omitted, integrate known feedback, rework the backend, build better automated testing, improve logging and reporting, add another actor to the system, add a different authentication method, and basically work through the massive backlog.

How do they think this is going to work? Do they think we can download a custom engineered enterprise grade software system from Microsoft and double click all the way to customer satisfaction? The licenses alone are too much for the customer on an ongoing cost basis. I guess we can discuss it during the agile team-building weekend at some remote lake that the team "visionary" has set up. For the sake of fuck.

Like development isn't hard enough. Hire two more developers and lose all of the dead weight. Get a project manager that won't let the trivial shit roll down on us. What the fuck.

Of course we deployed on Friday. How else are we gonna have a nice quiet weekend.

Joined a new workplace. Lead wants me to research on the available list of certain frameworks.

But they have already built a couple of services using certain frameworks and they don't seem to be having any issues with them.

I asked why look for new ones when you already have stuff that work for you and they're like "It's working - is not a reason to not look for new ones".

I mean WTF? Isn't "Don't try to fix things that are not broken" literally the point?