I'm convinced Microsoft won't go open source partly because they are ashamed of the code

It's official I just got a phonecall after my interview/2h test today!

I'm starting my first software developer job on Monday! 🤓🎉

.. so I'm back here finally after a few months as I thought I didn't belong , but now I do, yay ,

🙏🏼

You can find some golden comments deep inside github repos 😂

new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

MS buys Github?

GitHub Starter
GitHub for Students
GitHub Home Basic
GitHub Home Premium
GitHub Professional
GitHub Enterprise
GitHub Business
GitHub Ultimate
GitHub 2018 R2
...

Don't let it be tetris

HBO, the network that owns Game of Thrones, one of the highest grossing and most popular shows, still use Flash for their web streaming service.

I cry in dothraki

"Let me write the code that works first, I'll reformat it later."

*After a month*

"help. ;-;"

Always

Rip iPhone
Miss u jobs

Hot fix of a production bug!

Someone on the IP 127.0.0.1 has been creating a lot of bugs in my code, please beware of you notice any connections from that address.

Oh but I insist ...

Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Boss: “Great, thank you.”

Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”

Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”

Me: “Monday”.

My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

oh god

Microsoft can't math.

Tried making a file compresssor ended up making file size bigger than the original

please contact god for detail information

Old school Lan parties

You know you're a dev when your browser tabs look like this

My colleague managed to vertically align in CSS.

Accidently.

He doesn't want it that way.

Dafuq

So, my broadband internet is not working. Naturally, i called my ISP and complained.
He enlightened me, "Turn on your TV and watch the news. Theres a deadly computer virus on the loose and it is affecting banks and businesses and everything. So we decided to help our customers by turning our services down for a few days."
What the actual fuck?
Its like to Not eat anything due to a bird flu.
Oh! and i have an exam tomorrow.
Thank you muggles.

The 2 states of a programmer:

1.- I'm the fucking master.

2.- I have no fucking idea what I'm doing.

* Can move from one to another quickly.

I wish there was a .gitignore for people

Yay, live deployment on friday!

What could possibly go wrong.

So they were having trouble with the server always being slow and maxed to 100%, so the boss told me when wait times were hitting 5+mins due to server trying to catch up, he complained at me, said if I could get the wait time to 30sec to instant he would raise my pay to 90k a year, then walked away after I agreed, I was quite serious but I don't think he thought I was, so I decided to look over the system, IDK who but they put all the calculations and processing server-side for the CA's on floor then sent the completed view to the CA, so I spent months recreating the entire system except the server only pulled the data needed then the new client would do all the processing on their computer since they weren't doing anything anyways, I did a practice run today as its one of our peak days, wait times went to barely 5secs or "instant" according to CA's, I walked into the office, slapped that hourly report down after just two hours and showed the massive increase in employees production times.

That look on his face...
That look on my face...
That look on my next check...

Bliss

Generating SQL scripts using Excel. That's the practice at my company.

Every developer dream:
- Cup of coffee
- Laptop
- Fast internet connection.

Really, I am able to not see the light again with this.

I styled the entire site...with inline CSS....only