Ooof.

In a meeting with my client today, about issues with their staging and production environments.

They pull in the lead dev working on the project. He's a 🤡 who freelanced for my previous company where I was CTO.

I fired him for being plain bad.

Today he doesn't recognize me and proceeds to patronize me in server administration...

The same 🤡 that checks production secrets into git, builds projects directly in the production vm.

Buckle up... Deploys *both* staging and production to the *same* vm...

Doesn't even assign a static IP to the VM and is puzzled when its IP has changed after a relaunch...

Stores long term aws credentials instead of using instance roles.

Claims there are "memory leaks", in a js project. (There may be memory misuse by project or its dependencies, an actual memory leak in v8 that somehow only he finds...? Don't think so.)

Didn't even set up pm2 in systemd so his services didn't even relaunch after a reboot...

You know, I'm keeping my mouth shut and make the clown work all weekend to fix his own hubris.

Hey guys! lambda is amazing! Docker containers! They said the whole amazing point with containers is that they run the same everywhere! Except not really, because lambda 'containers' are an abomination of *nix standards with arbitrary rules that really don't make sense! That's ok though, you can push your shit to fargate, then it will work more like those docker containers you know and love and can run locally! Oh wait! fargate is a pain in the ass x 2 just to setup! You want to expose your REST api running on a container to the world? well ha, you'd better be ready to spend literally 2 weeks to configure every fucking piece of technology that every existed just to do that!!!! it's great, AWS, i love it, i'm so fucking big brained smart!!!

give me a break.... back in my day you'd set up an nginx instance, put your REST / websocket / graphQL service whatever behind it, and call it a day!!!!!!!

even with tools like pulumi or terraform this is a pain in the ass and a half, i mean what are we really doing here folks

way too complicated, the whole AWS infrastructure is setup for companies who need such a level of granularity because they have 1 billion users daily... too bad there are like 5 companies on the planet who need this level of complexity!!!!!!!

oh, and if your ego is bashed because of this post, maybe reread it and realize you're the 🤡

i'm unhappy because i was lied to. docker containers are docker containers, until they aren't. *nix standards are *nix standards, until they aren't

bed time.

7 days in, still can't get anything more than the infinitely seen tutorial GET / request working on a lambda function.

Oh, you've got something more complex, god forbid a POST handler? well, prepare yourself for days of suffering.

how far can you really go from standard software patterns?

Giving it about 20 more minutes and i'm going full self-managed, I don't have time for this shit

λ🤡

So let's see. We have AWS GCP Azure

Azure -> Microsoft -> Bill Gates. Bill gates is a pedophile who gangfucked little kids at epstein island and tried to kill half of the world with covid19 bullshit vaccine as well as spread propaganda lies and poison minds with fake news. Guy is a clown and works for shadow elite.

Hard pass. Fuck azure.

GCP -> Google -> Probably some indian guy is CEO. I like google and their material design concept. I grew up learning most of google tech. Flutter angular etc. Why arent people using GCP more?

Neutral.

AWS -> Amazon -> Jeff Bozos. A rich multi trillionaire bald ass guy with access to infinite money infinite whores infinite freedom, 50 billion dollar mega super luxury yacht, 50 mega mansions, 5000 super luxury cars and doesnt give a fuck about the matrix. Treats their employees like dogs paying them penies. I like this one. This one is who i want to become.

I'll choose AWS.